Farmlife

Far off (again) in the distant frontier, within the darkest depths of the Nazul there is a space.

This space was devoid of life.

No, the plant and animal life aren’t dead, there simply wasn’t anything there. A completely blank patch of barren ground.

It wasn’t a significantly large piece of land, roughly the size of two living rooms, with several odd, weathered, little stones littering the surface.

Yet what makes this place so particular is that the surrounding wildlife abhors this tiny region.

The plants grow wildly everywhere, but never there.

Even prey being by predators chased would circle around it.

For the past few days, things have greatly changed.

The land remains barren, but there was something happening.

Hovering above the ground is a flat, greenish, crystal-like coin.

The first day, the gem remained the size of a pebble.

The second day, it grew to the size of a soccer ball.

The third day it grew into a queen-sized bed.

The fourth day, it grew to the size of a small car.

The fifth day, it happened.

The gem cracks.

Just like when the gemstone started off, it was small at first. Then, it grew, a crack, then a spiderweb, then a large kaleidoscope.

Until finally, when the cracks reach the very edges.

It happened.

The green mosaic shatters, something bursts forth, scattering the green crystal fragments everywhere.

Momentarily,

It was dark, very dark, yet something can be felt deeper within the abyss.

Something… chaotic.

The portal didn’t linger as though someone pressed the rewind button, the fragments flew back together, reforming the giant green crystal, shrinking and disappearing from existence.

The presence it developed within the past week almost as if it were a lie.

It’s only proof of existence, being the thing that came out from the other side.

The thing, a mass of tentacles and a giant maw, observes its surroundings.

It senses a multitude of presences in the area, but they are too much of a hassle to consume in its weakened state.

It scans the environment using the dark senses its kind have developed

One containing a strong whiff of its home, yet… the presence is weak.

But first, observe.

Then, it’ll strike.

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It’s been quite some time since the forest investigation, a week to be exact.

During this week, I give up taking on the big requests and focus on the slime extermination requests and the occasional horned rabbit request.

I must say it’s a nice change of pace.

When I got back to the ranch, I tried contacting Alhazred again.

No luck, the book appears, but the flames in the skull are dim.

I can’t tell if he’s just sleeping, lying dormant because we’re out of the Nazul forest, or he’s pissed that I banished him without warning.

Whatever the case, he’s out of the picture for now.

Lying on my straw bed in the shed, I reflect on my recent exploits.

These past two ‘adventures’ have been incredibly hectic.

A simple-goblin extermination turned into massacring hundreds of goblins and collapsing a giant crystal cavern.

This recent investigation mission had me almost trapped in an eldritch forest maze. If it weren’t for the goat priestess, I would’ve been dead.

There’s a common saying, ‘Three times the charm.’

If something fails the first two times, it’ll get it right by the third time.

I’ve managed to thwart death twice, I don’t want to test my luck a third time.

Thus, I decide to take things nice and slow once again..

As for Alin, conveniently enough, she said she had some personal errands to run. So she won’t be at the Outpost for a week.

She assures me that it won’t take more than two

Looks like she and I are an actual team.

Though I’m unsure if the paperwork was made for us to form a group.

Whatever, I’m sure the relationship between us will progress smoothly.

…

Oh, come on! Let me indulge a little in my own fantasies a little! You can't not expect a highschooler to wish for a girlfriend! Especially in an isekai series!

How cool would it be to date an actual elf!

Even if the date doesn’t work out, just being friends is cool. There’s plenty of other races and girls to choose from.

I’m also impartial to vampires and demons, as long as they’re not the evil kind.

Alright, I think I vented off a bit of my hormones.

Back on track.

‘Ahem!’

In my spare time, I help out on the farm.

Ralph naturally tried to pay me for my services, but I strongly decline each time with the argument that I can’t

It’s been some time since I’ve gone on a big adventure. A couple of days have passed, nothing much to tell you guys. Right now, I’m doing the dinner’s dishes. This evening’s dinner was another beef dish, I think it was some kind of pot pie. Quite delicious, Jess is a splendid cook.

As I’m monologuing in my head for some indecipherable reason even I can’t comprehend, I feel a tug on my leg.

I look down and see Rufus, energetic as always.

“Big bro, Shin! Tell me more about your adventures!”

“My adventures? I’m not sure I’ve gone on enough to be telling you a story about it.”

Millie also comes up, unlike Rufus, she’s more soft spoken to the point of only saying, “Please?” and looking at me with puppy dog eyes.

“Alright kids, settle down, you don’t want him to find you annoying do you?”

“No.” Rufus pouts, “But I really want to hear some stories about what it's like being an adventurer.”

“Can’t disagree there.” Ralph turns to me, “Those fairytales from your world sure are interesting. Never heard anything quite like them.”

You haven’t, I doubt Brothers Grimm and Hans Anderson exist.

“But how about you share with us what you’ve been up to, are you walking the path of the Hero like Otherworlders that came before you?”

The Otherworlders that came before me… I wonder what those guys were like? I had a funny feeling most of them were fellow countrymen. Probably had a tough salary job or a typical highschool normie.

“Yeah! Did you slay a dragon!? Rescue a princess? Or outwit a demon!?” Rufus

Millie on the other hand was silent, but her beaming eyes gave away her interest.

I give in to the pressure, “Alright I’ll tell you how my first party request went.”

“Yay!”

Everyone gives out a smile at Rufus’ enthusiasm.

“Well it all started after I completed my very first request…”

I recount how I met the first group members. Kael, Alin, Eric and Serena, of how they were a nice lot who invited a stranger like me into their party.

Of course, I didn’t forget to exclude the part where Eric died from shitting himself to death like good old Elvis.

There is a limit to grudges, no need to tarnish the poor bastard’s name anymore than it already has been. Dying to a prostate exam conducted by goblins is just pathetic.

I might’ve promised not to spread word of how he died, but that doesn’t mean I’m not going to talk about how much of a stuffed up prick he is.

To kick the story off, I tell them of how I sat in the corner eating lunch when they came up to me, Kael ww

I tell them how I proudly ground his pride to the dust by challenging him to a contest to see who could shoot the most dummies. Ending in my glorious victory.

“We were surrounded on all sides by a massive goblin horde.

Kael and Eric were dead, Serena was unconscious. It was just me and Alin.”

“Is Alin your girlfriend?”

“What? No, it’s been barely a week since I’ve known her.”

“Hush, let him speak.” his father chides him.

“Through sheer grit, we manage to drive the green devils off by the skin of our teeth.

Each shot from Alin’s bow pierced the skull of one of the enemies.

My spells weren’t as accurate as the ranger’s, but they were much more devastating.

Just a brush from my Eldritch Mote was more than enough to turn a goblin into goblin splatter.

One by one, they fell. The few survivors left were sent packing back down to the tunnels.

Finally, after all the goblins are dead or fleeing, we gain some breathing room.”

I lean in and deliver the next line with as dramatic of a low voice as possible, “Or so we thought.”

Rufus asks, completely hooked, “What happened next?” Millie eagerly nods, wanting to know what comes next.

“For a couple of moments, we regain our breath. Naturally with the two dozen goblins or so we killed.

We believed we pretty much dealt with everyone and took our time recovering when all of a sudden… There were footsteps.”

Everyone leans in to hear my words.

“These weren’t the little pitter-patters of your average goblin.

No, these were the footsteps of a charging bull.

‘Thud!’ ‘Thud!’ ‘Thud!’

The sounds grew

We look at the tunnel

And out came a huge hobgoblin!”

Rufus lets out a gasp, Millie clutches her ragdoll tight.

Ralph, the former conscript, clicks his tongue, “Hobs, nasty buggers, they’re just as dumb as a regular gob, but they have the strength of a bull. How did you manage to do it?”

Jess jabs him in the rib.

“Sorry, please continue.”

I smile, completely unbothered, his sharing of his experience with hobgoblins, made the kids even more drawn into my tale.

“My friend, Alin, tells me their weakness. Can you guess what it is?”

The kids shake their heads. Ralph is about to respond but gets jabbed in the rib again by his wife.

“It’s the joints. Hobgoblins have a much tougher physique than a goblin, but they’re less agile. Taking out their limbs pretty much guarantees putting them out of commission in a fight.”

Ralph solemnly nods, agreeing with my statement.

“In my case, I aimed for the legs. They were the only parts peeking out from behind the shield.

With two careful shots, I blast his feet to pieces and the monster comes crashing down to the ground.

The goblins were utterly horrified and come to a standstill.

In retaliation for the deaths of our party members, we slaughter every one of them, not a single one was spared.”

“Then? What happens next?”

The next part I had to censor somewhat. They’re far too young to learn of what happens when an innocent young maiden encounters a pack of goblins and what happens…

How fast do goblins even reproduce? I mean, they’re everywhere in fantasy settings. They’re like rabbits, but worse.

“After making sure Serena was alright, we explored deeper into the tunnels, ready to kill any stragglers and free any unfortunate prisoners.

We walk and walk, but encounter not a single goblin.

Eventually, we make it to the very end.

At the very end of the tunnel, we step into a large cavern.

It was a vast place capable of housing a hundred or so people, but it was completely empty, save for one thing.

On the other side is a giant boulder the size of a two story house. Behind it, we could make out the corners of a tunnel.

Naturally it was up to me to destroy the boulder.

With a super-charged blast of my spell, I obliterate the boulder in one go! Shattering it to pieces!”

Yes, I know, I destroyed the boulder with multiple shots. I’m telling a story to kids, cut me some slack! What matters is that I was the one who destroyed the boulder.

“With the boulder out of the way, we enter the tunnel. The whole thing was massive, ten men can walk together and still have room to swing their arms around.

It was also quite long.

We walked for

And then, we were greeted with…”

“Treasure! Is it treasure!?”

“Bingo!”

“What sort of loot did you find?”

“A large cavern full of crystals.”

Ralph lets out a whistle, “Didn’t realize we’re standing next to a rich man!

So, what are you doing still living on our dingy little ranch?”

I scratch the back of my head sheepishly, “You see, I might’ve accidentally destroyed all of it.”

“Eh!? Destroyed it!?” Ralph’s eyes pop out of their sockets. Seems magic crystals are incredibly valuable commodities. Guess they’re sort of like coal or oil.

I proceed to explain, “You see, we weren’t the only ones in the crystal caverns.

The goblins were there too, and they numbered in the hundreds.”

Ralph is taken aback by this sudden development, the kids were even further drawn into my tale, and Jess cradles little Shaun, smiling. I don’t think anything could faze that woman.

“The goblins spot us and begin charging over. We were surrounded on all sides.”

Rufus interrupts again. “How did you manage to escape and destroy the caverns?”

Ralph doesn’t reprimand him as he eagerly leans in, also wanting to know how I escaped unscathed.

I proudly explain, “Above us was a large chunk of ore. This wasn’t just any ore. It’s Detonite.”

The kids look at me confused.

Ralph explains to them in my stead, “Detonite’s a special rock that blows up when destroyed. Just one barrel of it can put a man-sized hole in the thick walls of Brooks.”

He turns to me, “Let me guess, you-”

Jess jabs him in the ribs, “Let him finish, dear. The kids want to hear him finish his story, not you giving your opinions.”

Ralph sheepishly apologizes and everyone gives me their full undivided attention once again.

“With the goblins pouring in from all sides, we were pressed for a solution out of our predicament.

Fortunately, Alin had an idea.

Her solution, blow up the entire cave with Detonite.”

Everyone, excluding Jess, waits for me to continue with bated breath.

“Unable to think up a better plan, I listened to her suggestion.

Using my favourite Eldritch Bullet, I blast the Detonite and cause a massive cave-in.

Boulders and crystals fall to the ground all around us, squishing the goblins to a bloody pulp.

The goblins fall one by one, and start to flee.

We follow suit to escape the disaster we caused.

We run as fast as we can but I manage to block the falling rocks with one of my new trusty spells! Glyph of protection!

However, that didn’t stop the cave-in.

Up and up we ran, our lungs on the verge of bursting

Just as it seemed the tunnel was never going to end, we escaped! The crystal caverns might’ve been lost, for now. But the goblins were defeated! Victorious, we carry back Serena and the corpses of our two fallen comrades back to the outpost to report our findings.”

The kids were left starry-eyed, “That was awesome!” Rufus exclaims. Millie didn’t say anything, but her eyes were sparkling.

I chuckle at his response, can’t believe he’d be this delighted by a tale of me slaying some goblins.

Then again, it was a pretty abnormal request, based on what I heard from Alin.

As a D&D player, performing an ethnic cleansing on goblins is the least crazy thing I’ve seen people do.

“If you want, I can tell you more about the time I almost got lost forever in the Nazul forest.”

“Really!? You promise?”

“Of course.” I promise the kids.

The story went on for longer than I expected, when I finished telling my tale, it was nightfall and the kids’ bedtime.

With the kids being put to sleep by Jess, I pull Ralph to give him rent payment.

Ralph kindly tries to refuse the payment, “Come on now, there’s no need for you to pay me! I owe you one big time. If you didn’t pass by, those goblins would’ve turned me into mincemeat, leaving my wife widowed and kids without a father.”

“If it weren’t for you I’d be on the streets without a home. I want to thank you for all that you’ve done for me.” I persist.

“Nonsense! Giving you a place to stay is the least I can do.”

He pushes the silvers back into my hands.

I push the silvers back into his hands, “Taking care of an extra mouth when you have three kids can’t be easy. Just use these to buy some food, clothes or a new toy for them.”

At the mention of the kids, Ralph gives in. Although kind, he has a family to raise.

He gives some thought and reluctantly agrees, “Oh, alright, but don’t give too much, I don’t want them to be spoiled.”

Spoiled? Them? Ralph my man, you have yet to see how spoiled a child can get back on Earth.

These little rapscallions are literal angels in comparison.

Having persuaded Ralph, I handed him the little leather coin purse containing several dozen coppers.

The amount I have in there is enough for a month at an inn in Tros from what I’ve heard.

“If I’m collecting rent, you don’t need to pay me this much.” he hands me back half the coppers in the pouch.

I try to convince him to take back the other half, but he stubbornly refuses.

After discussion of rent, I went off to sleep myself.

One of the downsides of living in a fantasy world I’m currently experiencing.

There’s no cable or wifi, so I can’t watch an anime or read a manga.

If this were a city, I could go to a bookstore or library and kill time reading some of the literature in this world.

(Forgot to mention, but for some reason, I could read and write with the language system of this world. Must be isekai logic.)

Anyways, after I go to bed, I’d wake up relatively early, since I slept early, then begin tilling the fields, watch over the cows and play with the kids.

Thus my slow life began.

Everyday, I wake up and have breakfast with Ralph and his family. After that, I either work on the farm or babysit the

Sometimes, when I feel I want to have a little fun, I’d go and

Life was simple, but great.

I sort of get why people might choose to live a traditional lifestyle over the hustle and bustle of the big city and modernity.

It’s so peaceful.

I’m going to take things slow, the last two weeks were crazy.

Hunted by the Inquisition, stopping a goblin invasion force, becoming friends with a mysterious voodoo witch and talking grimoire.

Damn, what a rush.

But I can’t remain a farmer forever. Just because I choose to live peacefully doesn't mean the Church will quit bothering me.

Sooner or later, I’m definitely going to have another confrontation with the church. It’s practically an isekai staple to have an evil religion that heavily borrows from Catholics.

I wonder why almost all Catholics are always painted as the evil guys in isekai media.

It’s ridiculous, there’s Infernosong, Frenzy, Umbral Mastermind, they’re everywhere!

Hold-up, is Japan secretly anti-Catholic?

That would be a wild theory for a certain guy who retired from making entertaining video game theories.

The good old redhat plumber being a psychopath and his greenhat brother being a millionaire with a glorious plunger are my personal favourites.

Just imagine half the country of Japan being atheist due to isekai anime and manga depicting the bigwigs of religious groups as hedonistic or abusive dipshits.

To prepare for this future showdown, I need to train myself, or rather commit genocide upon a unwanted racial groups, whom others would hesitate to even refer to as a ‘people.’

Ah, the blood of my 19th and 20th century ancestors are screaming with delight as I follow in their footsteps of purifying this world from the taint that is-!

I’m joking! I’m joking! Please don’t look at me like that! I swear I’m not a war criminal! Don’t blacklist this series! That was a bad joke about orcs and goblins! I’m sorry!

Anyways, I was getting off topic.

As I was saying, to get stronger I need to be—

I need to be what again?

Right, I need to master my skills a little more. Especially Eldritch Bullet, my main go-to spell.

Meaning I should go grab another request. Can’t be resting on my laurels, gotta make sure to polish my skills once in a while.

That in hindsight, would be my biggest mistake.

If only I decided to prolong my break a day longer.

Maybe if I completed the request a bit faster.

Heck, perhaps if I didn’t engage in pleasantries with some of the acquaintances I made.

That day’s nightmare might’ve never occurred and I’d live the idle farmlife for some time.

Now I stand by a grave.