A Nice Chat Chapter

“Come, have a seat, young one.”

She taps her staff on the ground a few times, a black lump wriggles forth from the ground and into existence.

I stare at the moving black lump.

The author better not give me an unwarranted prostate exam or I swear, I’ll find a way to shatter the fourth, fifth and sixth to shatter his balls personally.

I cautiously take a seat on the grotesque excuse for a chair and prepare for a posterior probing.

…

Feels like I’m sitting on a mildly squirming beanbag chair.

Disgusting to think about, but if I don’t think about it, it doesn’t bother me all that much. No hard lump pressed against my butt either.

Alright I’m in the clear.

Seeing me seated, the “Before we begin, I believe introductions are in order. I know who you are, Otherworlder Shin.

But you might not have heard of me. That is natural, my existence is not something many know about.”

Damn right I never heard of you, I’ve barely stayed a week in this world.

“I am one blessed or cursed (however you wish to view it) with the powers of the Beyond, much like you.”

“So how should I address you?”

“My name is of little importance, for simplicity’s sake, you may refer to me as Enath.”

After she introduces herself, I jump straight to business, “Are you here to teach me how to master the Eldritch arts?”

“Not quite.”

“Eh?”

Isn’t it a classic staple for characters to meet some mysterious personage who is incredibly powerful who takes them under their wing?

Sometimes that person is an incredibly hot waifu like the voodoo witch girl in front of me?”

I digress.

Enath explains her reasons, “There are two reasons I cannot teach you.

One, you have not yet unlocked enough of your powers. You hold the key to unlocking them, but until you do, I cannot teach you anything lest your mind should become susceptible and break before the greater powers.”

“Can you give me some basic knowhow on basic Eldritch magic?

“I cannot either. For the concept of ‘basic’ Eldritch magic does not exist.”

Can’t argue with that. I doubt there’s a textbook that teaches people how to bend the laws of reality. Hold on, isn’t the Necronomicon technically such a textbook?

Guess I’ll ask Alhazred to give me a few lessons when he’s awake and in a good mood.

I shouldn’t be so hasty. Enath mentioned two reasons, perhaps the second reason might change my mind entirely about learning more on Eldritch magic.

“What’s the second reason?”

“Your patron, whom I shall not name, governs different powers than my patron.”

I give her a blank stare, is this supposed to be some scenario where a fire archmage can’t teach a rookie ice mage?

Or how a rogue can’t teach a knight in heavy armor how to sneak and lockpick?

Is it like a class/subclass restriction? Something like that?

“I fail to see why you can’t teach me.”

“My patron, the Black Goat, lets me preside dominion over creatures of the Beyond that contain her essence.

I am also capable of infecting the essence into other organisms and bending them to my will, much like you’ve seen with this one.” Her hand rubs the goat as she speaks the last part. “Thus my specialty is related to taming and controlling these creatures rather than weaving the powers which run rampant in the Beyond.”

“What exactly is my specialty?”

“That is for you to figure out.” she responds.

Well that’s awfully helpful. Of course, the trope this isekai nails is how I need to discover my true potential.

Ugggh! Can the author stick with the D&D theme, Lovecraft theme or just the generic trash Isekai theme!?

I get D&D and Lovecraft lore are super interesting and that the guy’s a fan of fantasy and isekai light novels.

But there’s a saying, ‘Too many chefs spoil the broth.’

In this case, ‘Too many themes spoil the novel.’

Right now I feel like I’m living in third-rate garbage that can’t even make it past the first round!

Fuck! I’m going insane again! What’s worse is I can’t recall what I said moments ago!

Forget it, since I’m meeting a master of the eldritch arts, I might as well try to get as much as I can out of this meeting.

“Is there any advice you can give me? My head’s spinning in circles right now.”

“Learn more about who you serve, understand the laws they govern and the concepts they hold dominion over.

Knowledge is a powerful thing. Understanding is the difference between mastering knowledge or letting the knowledge break you. Remember that.”

“I see.” I totally didn’t get it, “Another question, this one’s a little redundant, but how do you know so much about me?”

“When one serves beings above the laws of reality, time and space. One knows things, bits and pieces from here and there. Could be from the past, another reality or another state of being entirely.”

Should’ve seen that answer coming, “I don’t really get it.”

“Sometimes there are things best not understood but experienced.”

Honestly I don’t understand half the conversation.

But complicated and cryptic content does help stifle my soft wood.

What!? How can I not pitch a tent at this beautiful girl!? Or woman. Or being. Or whatever she is! She’s just too perfect!

‘Phew!’ glad she didn’t see my stiffie. Honestly, I never had this extreme of a reaction before. Except for the time I first laid my eyes on this one hot goth g-

Before my monologue can get any more embarrassing, Enath cuts my “A fair warning.”

Oh shit! Did she see!? Am I about to be castrated for my hormonal thoughts!?

“To wield the powers of the Beyond is to disregard the laws of this world and the universe. The powers of the Beyond are superior to those that govern this realm, but that doesn’t mean this world will idly let it run amuck.”

Thank god it isn’t about some enemy hunting me! The goddamn Church bastards live rent-free in my head, I don’t need another tenant.

“Are there any consequences?” I cautiously ask.

Please don’t let there be any! I’m having a blast with my reflavoured D&D spells!

My hopes were utterly dashed.

“It differs from person to person.

Prolonged unregulated usage can lead to mutation of the body into a creature from the Beyond, reducing one to a raving beast living on their base instincts.

There are a few rare instances when intelligence is fully or partially retained, but I wouldn’t count on those mutations occurring.

“That sounds quite serious. Any other possible side effects?

“Distortion of the environment, frequent cases of realistic nightmarish illusions that make one go insane and unable to differentiate what’s real, sudden visions of horrifying entities or future events.”

“... Anything else?”

Please let that be the end!

“Of course, what I just said are all serious cases, mild effects include loss of emotions and sensitivity, mysterious whispers, bouts of dread, short term memory loss, and awkwardness in social interactions.”

Goddamnit! Why can’t this be a power fantasy where I can blitz through everything and end up with a hot fantasy girlfriend!

Of course there has been this stupid-ass balancing mechanic where I turn into a tentacle monster or receive a textbook of mental illnesses that I’d be turned away by every mental institution!

Do you happen to experience any of these things?”

I look back on my journey so far.

Unfortunately, memory loss is something listed in the latter portion of the symptoms described.

Like a patient informing a doctor about a symptom of a potential terminal illness, I tell Enath about my poor memory, “I do experience bouts of forgetfulness. There are times when I spew some random nonsense and forget about it. Except, the things I said didn’t feel like nonsense, rather it’s more like I was talking to an audience.”

“Interesting.”

That response has me very worried. It’s the kind of thing a mad scientist says to a guinea pig undergoing an unexpected mutation or untimely demise.

“Is it serious?”

“Nothing too much to worry about, you’ve likely just been using the powers far too much. A few days of rest should see the effects wear off.

What you’re experiencing is quite minor.”

At the end of her sentence, I could make out the vaguest whisper of ‘for now.’

But I’m the type who lives in the present and worries about the consequences later on, so I decide to chat her up and build a good relationship with her.

I need all the allies I can get, especially if we’re both cultists.

“What price do you pay?”

I half expected her to refuse, but surprisingly she took up on my icebreaker, “If I overuse my powers, the reality around me distorts. Creatures, like this child beside me, are able to cross into this realm through the distortions.

It was quite a serious problem in the past. Back then I couldn’t control them, they caused quite a ruckus. I was on the radar of the Church for some time. Tell me, do they still exist?”

“They do.”

“It is a good thing you ended up here in the Frontier, had it been in a developed nation, you would’ve been hunted down.

Here in the Frontier, you’ll find the place is much more accepting to foreign influences. Whether it be good or evil.”

Guess I’m safe for now.

I ask her if receiving requests is a common day occurrence.

When I received the request, telling me to establish influence in a town, the quest giver section had a string of corrupted text.

After communicating with Alhazred, the corrupted text still hadn’t been fixed.

This means the entity that gave me the request wasn’t Alhazred but someone else.

That someone can only be the Eldritch entity who summoned me to that weird, dead, abyss dimension.

“Is it normal to be given a request from the Eldritch beings?”

“It depends, the Lesser Ones often interact with our realm far more than the Great Ones do.”

“Lesser Ones and Great Ones?” I ask, puzzled.

Is this like the difference between the Outer Gods and Great Old Ones?

I honestly still can’t wrap my head around some of the Eldritch hierarchical system back on earth. Hopefully the one in this world isn’t as complicated.

“Not all beings residing within the Beyond are equally monstrous for a lack of a better term. They have a clear established hierarchy.

The Great Ones are beings superior to the Lesser Ones drifting in the abyss of the Beyond. The Lesser Ones are entities en par or surpass the gods, some of whom are dwelling on this plane of existence, watching or slumbering.”

Well, that’s a little concerning, but the explanation was nice, simple and provided ample context. Hopefully I don’t get dragged into a sinister plot surrounding these powers.

…

Shit, I jinxed it didn’t I?

Sorry future me, you’re done for.

Back to the conversation.

“Has a being from the Beyond spoken to you before?”

“I wouldn’t say ‘speak’ so much as give me a message.”

“Do you have it on you?”

“It’s imprinted in my mind.”

“What does this message say?”

“It tells me to establish some influence in a town.”

“Anything else?”

I shake my head, “That’s it.”

“Hmm” Enath places an ivory white hand against her animal skull-covered face, difficult to say. A single sentence doesn’t reveal much, it can be a Lesser One who is not talkative or a Great One whose influence is weak.”

“So is it common?”

“It occurs, albeit reserved to only the higher echelons of worshippers within one of their circles or a particular person they favor.”

“I realize this sounds dumb, but how important are these messages?”

“Be it a Lesser One or Great One, they are beings far beyond our comprehension. They can ask for many things and we must always obey. It does not matter whether we like it or not.

To disobey their orders is to compromise your very existence.”

Shoot, guess I better get to pleasing my patron then. I don’t want to have my Eldritch Bullet allowance taken away.

Enath continues on, “Your powers were given with a purpose.”

Is this the part where she tells us everyone’s nothing but a pawn before the eyes of the gods?

“You and I are part of a dangerous game. One where neither of us are the players. It is a game that has been played for a very long time without much progress, but I have a feeling this might change.”

“Are we going to be foot soldiers for some interdimensional war?” I half-heartedly joke.

“You surprise me once again with your insight and opinions.”

Eh? I said it as a joke. Don’t tell me its real and I’ll be drafted like its the mid twentieth century for some meat grinder.

“Our time is short, I must return to my duties soon, I have time for one more question.”

“You knew I was an Otherworlder. From what I’ve heard, Otherworlders are a common sight. Is this true?”

Instead of answering yes or no, she says something incredibly ominous, “Their arrival does more harm than good.”

“You mean we’re all some walking time-bomb?”

“No, not your kind, rather the process of the arrival itself is what matters.”

“What do you mean the process is important and not the heroes?”

“I shall say no more. My time is up.”

I attempt to ask one last question, “Wait, who do I serve?”

She doesn’t answer, “We will meet again, Child of Burden.”

“Child of Burden!?! What did I do to have a burden!”

Unfortunately, there wasn’t time to clarify as the surroundings begin to fade away as a grey fog sets in.

“One more thing, while I can’t teach you, I can offer you other things.”

What other things could she possibly be offering?

Could it be intimate companionship?

Woah! Woah! Don’t slap the mature tag over the novel! It’s just wistful thinking!

Anyone in my situation would probably wish for the same thing!

Anyways lets move on.

The moment after she offers help, the green system screen, which is now Alhazred’s subconscious, pops up.

[Blessing of the Black Goat.

You have formed a connection with a Priestess of The Black Goat.

Cultists not affiliated with Demons will be more tolerant of you.

The Priestess is aware of some of your actions.

In your darkest hour, you will receive aid, but at a cost.]

The fric!? It’s literally a nanny cam!

“I believe our interaction is done, I must now return to my duties.”

“Will we meet again?”

“Most certainly. Until then, try not to get yourself into any trouble. I’ll be sending you back to a location near your comrade.

Both of you will find yourselves near the edge of the forest, far from this corrupted region you’ve stumbled upon.”

“Really? Thanks!”

The surroundings around me warp like an ending flashback, I suddenly find myself in a much more sparse region of the forest.

After checking the cost is clear, I summon Alhazred.

The skull on the chuuni grimoire lets out a yawn, “Hmm? You’re still alive? How long has it been? A month? Two months? Wait, don’t tell me… a year?”

“Wrong, wrong and wrong. It hasn’t been an hour.”

“That can’t be right? It should take at least a month for me to gain a slimmer of consciousness.”

“Well, maybe the lady I met earlier has something to do with awakening you early?”

“Lady? Tell me more.”

“Didn’t you see me receive the blessing?”

“Do you remember all the dreams you have?”

“Pretty much never.”

“The same thing is happening here. Whenever I’m not summoned, I remain in a sleep-like state. I can sense some of the things happening around you, but not all. Though this can be remedied, we’ll discuss this in the future, tell me more about the woman.”

“She has what I can only describe as a sensual figure—”

“Of course the first thing that comes out of your mouth is a remark about a woman’s physique. What a monkey.”

“Do you want me to continue or not?”

The skull shuts up.

“As I was saying she had an excellent figure, wears loose voodoo-cult clothing, carries a creepy staff.”

“Hmm, doesn’t ring a bell, but this mention of a Black Goat…” He muses over the blessing for a while until he has a revelation, “A priestess of Shub-Niggurath.”

“Oi!? Did you just say the Hard R!?”

“Hunh? What’s the Hard R?” He asks confused, “Is it some weird alternative name the fat proliferating goat goes by?”

“You don’t know what the Hard R is?”

“No, I do not.”

Makes sense, the racial slurs people have in this world will be against literal other races, not humans.

I whisper an explanation and he reacts pretty violently, “You bastard! Why on earth would you think I said that!?”

“Eh? You’re not racist?”

Alhazred indignantly screams, “Of course I’m not!!! Death comes equally to all!”

“Okay, I assumed you were racist. My bad.”

“Why the hell did you even think I said ‘that!?’”

“Just thought it’d be funny for the readers.”

“The what now?” He asks confused.

“Pay me no mind, my head hasn’t been set straight since I isekai-ed here. I just forgot the remark I made.”

“Let me guess, it’s a side effect of using Eldritch powers. How typical.”

“What were the drawbacks of your usage of Eldritch magic?”

“Never had any.”

Okay, I know he’s talking a load of hogwash.

“You sure you’re not bragging?”

“Necromancy was my main specialty.” He explains, “I dabbled in the powers of the Beyond out of boredom. Although if I were to name one consequence. It might’ve warped my personality somewhat, I don’t remember being so quick to anger.”

Damn, he got off lucky with just anger issues, but something he said earlier cut my ear.

“Hold up. Did you say Necromancy is your specialty?”

“Yes, I thought I told you already?”

“The only time you mentioned Necromancy was when you were calling me an ape when I chose Necromancy.”

“Don’t mention that accursed primitive way of conflict resolution.”

Alright, alright, I get the memo. Time to get back on track.

“So who is this Shub person you mentioned?”

“Shub Niggurath is one of the overlords that resides in the Beyond. She is known as The Black Goat of the Woods with a Thousand Young.

Her role is something similar to this world’s version of Earth or Fertility goddess. Albeit more grotesque.”

“Should I be worried?”

“Not really, the disgusting creature just likes watching over her spawn and worshippers she considers a part of her ‘family.’

As long as we don’t raise the ire of one of them, there’s nothing to worry about.”

“You should know about my situation, right?”

“By the way you sounded different,

“Just your imagination.”

“Alright.” I let it slide, there’s more pressing questions I have.

“Give it to me straight, how bad is my situation.”

“Right now those guys are hunting you. I say you’re already in pretty hot water. At least you haven’t committed any crimes so they’re going to be slow to act as they fabricate charges.”

Sheesh, they’re willing to spin lies just to see me turned into a flaming human kebab?

“I could tell from the way they look like they want to turn me into barbecue.”

“Be thankful I saved you.”

“Why do those guys hate eldritch magic so much? Surely it can’t be worse than demons?”

“Not half sure myself, I was a necromancer not a historian.”

“Can’t you give me the slightest hint?”

“Alright sit your ass down and get ready to listen.”

I lean against a tree and prepare for the exposition and lore dump.

“Before the existence of this world, humans, elves, dragons and even gods. There was only chaos. A void of a dimension filled with monsters.

Many years pass, blah blah, the monsters beat each other up, blah blah, and drive themselves to near extinction. Those are the denizens of the Beyond.

The survivors, with nothing much to do now that 99% of their population got wiped, fell into a deep slumber.

With the denizens of the Beyond finally stopping their rampage, the multiverse finally has a chance to develop.

From the corpses of these gods, planets were born.

One such corpse grew into the world we currently live in, Azra.”

I interrupt, “Wait, how exactly does this have anything to do with the church hating eldritch-worshipping cultists?”

“Patience, I’m getting there.

On these corpse planets, several developed life. These are the first gods. We can refer to them as the Elder Gods.”

Remember how I said there were survivors among the Eldritch race?

Not all of them fell into a complete slumber.

Some still kept a sliver of their consciousness active and used it to interact with the world. Others in their slumber, created new beings, the Lesser Ones.

The Eldritch Great Ones used their shard of consciousness to explore these new realms born from the corpses of their dead brethren.

The Lesser Ones followed in their footsteps. Unlike their creators, they were much more proactive.

Of course, the newborn Elder Gods, who have been ruling just fine for quite a few millenia, didn’t take to kindly to the sudden appearance

Thus a war ensued.

Honestly, it wasn’t much of a war so much as a cod-piece measuring contest to see whose worshippers can out-kill the other.

In the end, this ultimately resulted in nothing but countless deaths.

Then the ‘threat’ of the Great and Lesser Ones were replaced by the Demons.

With the war between Heaven and Hell heating up, most of the Outer Gods had their influence diminished.”

“Were the worshippers killed?”

“Nah, those tentacle monsters just don’t care what happens to the Universe as long as their big tentacle daddy doesn’t wake up. It’s more like they just faded away into obscurity.”

Their creator…

I confirm my suspicions, “Do you mean Azathoth?”

“Their sleepy-eyed fatass creator? Yes. You heard of him?”

“Wait, he’s real!?”

“Real as your ugly mug.”

“That’s just hurtful.”

“You want compliments and sweet nothings? The brothel of a Pantheon is willing to give you just that and a little extra to shove up your arse.”

“Gross, you guys do that to your worshippers?”

“What!? No! I am The freaking God of Death! Such base and vile desires are beneath me!”

“Don’t you mean one of?”

“Shut it.”

Well, what else should I ask?

Right! How to train and grow my Eldritch powers!

“Is there any way I can quickly

“What else? Go kill some people.”

“Excuse me!?!”

“Killing monsters will suffice I suppose.”

“I’ve been doing that for quite some time already.”

“Listen, I’m going to let you in on a little secret, but don’t tell any other cultist.”

Like hell I’m friends with a cultist. Oh, wait, aren’t I on good terms with the goat priestess?

Nah, she gave off the vibes of a cult leader who's been around for centuries, she probably knows the method.

“Oi! Stop daydreaming about the goat humper!”

The frick? Is he literally in my mind or is my face incredibly readable?

“Pay attention.” After making sure I’m listening, he goes on, “I’m the God of Death.”

“You forgot ‘one of.’”

“Shut it! As I was saying, as the God of Death, I hold power over souls.”

“Okay?”

Where is this going?”

“As the God of Death, the more souls I have, the more power I have. I can use these souls to unshackle some of the limitations placed upon the Necronomicon. Thus granting you more powers.”

“Mhm.”

“And what contains souls?”

“Humans and other living races?

“Yes! And what other races have souls?”

“Monsters?”

“Bingo!”

“So if I kill a bunch of monsters, you’ll get stronger and I can unlock more secrets inside the book?”

“Precisely!”

“That’s it? So I just kill monsters and level up?”

“Glad you understand! Now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ll be taking a nap. Honestly, it’s so exhausting talking to mortals.”

“Wait! That’s not advice, that’s literally what I’ve been doing for the past week! Do you have anything else?”

“I say stay in the Frontier for now and continue what you’re doing. Those white-robed bootlickers already know of your existence. It’d be best not to move from place to place and be sighted by more people.”

“True. By the way, how much do you know about them?”

“Not that much to be honest. They kept sending people to try and kill me before my ascension to godhood. Naturally I killed the attackers and burned a couple of their cities.

Surprisingly they still kept trying to kill me afterwards.”

…

This guy’s a sociopath.

“Don’t give me that look, they started it.”

“I’m curious, did they stop

“The church stopped, but then a bunch of goody two shoes and a god came knocking on my door every now and then.”

“Did they happen to calm themselves heroes who came to vanquish evil?”

“Damn, are you a mind reader or what?”

“It’s a common trope.”

“Say what?”

I quickly deflect the question, “What exactly did you do to piss off the church?”

“They hate anyone who doesn’t worship one of their recognized gods.” He nonchalantly replies, “I just so happened not to be a follower. That or they feared my powers. ”

Okay makes sense.

“That’s from your time thousands of years ago. Surely they’ve made reforms and are somewhat more tolerant?”

The skull, despite having no facial muscles or skin, gives me a deadpan look, “Kid, what did the church do when you got summoned?”

“They tried to kill me without bothering with a trial.”

“There’s your answer. Try not to ask such dumb questions next time, it really drains what little energy I have.”

Before I can snap back at him, I hear rustling nearby. I de-spawn Alhazred and draw my sword.

What pops out wasn’t a gnoll or some monster, but my long-lost teammate.

“Alin! There you are! Where have you been!?”

“Hunh? Weren’t you just behind me?”

“No, I tripped and fell, you left me behind and I was wandering all by myself.”

“It’s the forest, it’s messing with our perception of space and time.”

“Shoot, things are getting more serious, and we still haven’t found a lead to the source of these unusual events.

“Actually, while I met a weird magician who told me the fabric of reality around these parts is weakening.”

“What? Who is this person?”

“Some old bearded guy dressed in shamanic garb.” I lied.

Best not to give too much information.

As much as I’d like to say we have a good working relationship. Even lifelong friends will stab you in the back given the right opportunity.

Alin and I have known each other for two days, all the more likely for her to turn me in for a bounty.

I partly blame the soap operas playing in the background I had to endure listening to whenever visiting my old grandma’s place.

A socially smart woman. I listen to a lot of her advice whether I like it or not, but it’s never failed me yet.

Now where was I, right the interrogation for the description of a made up homeless guy.

Of course, Alin poses questions, trying to get me to recall as much as I can, “Any other details?”

“Carries an animal skull staff and a bunch of dangling charms. Oh, he also has a wolf familiar.”

“What about the place you met him? Anything special or noteworthy?”

“Just a glade with a stump.”

She asks me a couple more questions until she’s satisfied, “Interesting. With this information, I believe we can head back and call it a day. What exactly did this shaman tell you?”

“A whole bunch of hoopla about monsters being disturbed by the and something about powers causing them to duplicate.”

The last part wasn’t much of a lie, I barely understood the mumbo-jumbo the voodoo mommy just said.

“Hmm, not much to go off of, but I’m sure the outpost will be satisfied with our report. Let’s get going before the monsters come out.”

And go back we did. Let me tell you, it was one heck of a journey.

It took us several hours to get back. By the time we reached Tros, the sun began to set. Soon enough, it’ll be dusk.

Thankfully Enath was true to her word when she said she dropped us near the shallower, safer parts of the Nazul forest. It made our journey much quicker and easier.

During our trek out of the forest, we didn’t encounter any hostile creatures.

We did encounter a group of slime and horned rabbits, but they weren’t hostile or being a menace to anyone, so we left them be.

Soon enough, we were out of the woods and on the open road back to Tros.

Seeing my weariness, she offers to make the report herself.

I graciously accept. After having a quick dinner at the outpost, I go stray back to the ranch ready to clock out.

I fall down on my straw bed the moment I get back and doze off to dream land.

For the next few days, I want to take things nice and slow.

I’ve had far too many wacky encounters already.