:Grown-ups:

 I’ve missed so many episodes. For the first time in forever, Major and General are onscreen at the same time. Like, what? I wonder if this is how Lou felt when he was in my room watching this for the first time. I wish I could rewind or something to see what I missed.

J said that what we’re shown on TV is related to the field they’ll have us go into when we’re grown-ups. Coal is their detective though, so he’s probably the one who figured that out. Actually, the police and detectives are close, right? Maybe he and Helvetica figured it out together.

Nevermind. I haven’t known them all very long, but Helvetica and Coal working together like that is something even I know is not exactly how it goes. J must have been involved too.

Just as this episode ended on the usual cliffhanger, my bedroom door, and everyone else’s, all opened up. Looks like it’s time for the Recess 1 of the day.

I left my room and started walking toward the Recess area with the crowd of kids. We all wear the same black clothes and white nametags, but it isn’t hard to tell each other apart. We have different heights, builds, hairstyles, and faces. There’s probably more differences too.

“Hey, Bowie,” says a girl’s voice. I also felt a soft hand on my shoulder.

I turned around to be greeted by a blond girl around my height. Something about that blue in her eyes makes it hard to look away.

“Oh, uh, hello.” Still looking at her eyes, I pause to see if she wanted to say anything. “Have we met before?”

I’m asking, but I don’t really forget faces. I would know if I met her.

“Well, not exactly, but I do know you.” She pauses for a moment, then continues. “I noticed you started hanging out with a new group? Are they your friends?”

“You mean J and the others? Yeah, they’re my friends.” Don’t know why she knows about them, though.

“Oh! Ah, okay then! I’ll see you later! Bye!!”

She talked so calmly at first, but then rushed the conversation to an abrupt end and ran off.

Oh, I just realized. I somehow forgot to look at her nametag. That doesn’t happen often. Well, she said we’d see each other again later, so I guess I’ll have to remember to check it then.

“Hey everybody.” I greet the group as I walk up and take my seat alongside them.

“And he returns. Surprised you haven’t ditched us yet,” said Helvetica.

“Why’s that?” I ask.

“I was under the impression you only joined us because you thought we’d help you find your friend. It’s been some time and we haven’t really done anything in that regard, so I was thinking you’d have cut us off by now. That’s all.”

I guess that is the main reason I initially joined them.

“You almost sound like you want him to leave,” says Coal.

Helvetica stuck out her tongue toward him, but didn’t say anything.

“Why don’t you two just kiss already,” jokes J.

“Like hell I’d ever kiss her.” Coal apparently feels strongly about the subject.

“Ohh. J’s faithful pet speaks against him for the first time. Could this be just the beginning of his opposition, or was he a false follower all along?” Helvetica shrugs her shoulders as she speaks.

Coal stays quiet with an irritated look on his face, and J stays quiet with his patented slight smile.

“Actually,” I say, breaking the silence. “I was sort of wondering when we’d start doing the investigating stuff. I’m curious to see how it works.”

“You want to see the great Coal Holmes at work? If so, you should probably start preparing for disappointment,” says Helvetica, seemingly taking every opportunity to get on Coal’s nerves.

“You just don’t let up, do you,” asks J. “Well, anyway, I actually wanted to show you something interesting. It’ll just be a recreation of a previous experiment, but you weren’t here for it, so it’ll be brand-new to you.”

“Oh, okay,” I reply.

If it’s something they did before, I doubt it has anything to do with Lou, but that’s alright. It’s not like there’s any big rush.

J raises his hand to get the attention of a grown-up, and one quickly spots him. The man walks over and looks down at J.

“Good morning… J. What is your inquiry?”

The man has the same blank look as every other grown-up.

“Can I use the restroom, please,” J asks.

“How polite. Of course you can… J.” As the man said that, he made a hand motion in the direction of the bathroom.

“Thanks.”

J stands up and starts walking away. As soon as the man turns around to go his own way, however, J comes right back.

“You’re not going to use the bathroom,” I ask.

“It’s part of the experiment, Bowie,” Coal tells me.

“Correct,” J exclaims. 

Not a moment later, he started removing his nametag for some reason.

“What are you doing?!” I grab his wrist to stop him.

They all look at me like there was something wrong with me. Why? It’s common sense that we’re not supposed to remove out nametags, so why is it like I’m the one who forgot something obvious?

“This is also part of the experiment,” says Helvetica.

“Oh…” I hesitantly release J’s wrist from my grasp.

He finishes removing his nametag and puts his hand out.

“Coal,” says J.

After he said that, they exchanged tags and both put their hands up. It didn’t take long for the same man as before to walk over.

He looks down at J again before speaking.

“Good morning… Coal. What is your inquiry?”

Wait a second, he just called J… Coal? I realize that he’s reading the nametag, but even still. They just spoke a second ago.

“Actually, nevermind. I don’t have a question,” says J.

“Okay, have a nice day… Coal.” The man steps over to the actual Coal next. “Good morning… J. What is your inquiry?”

“Can I use the restroom, please?” Coal says it exactly how J did when he asked the first time.

I looked toward the nameless man to see how he would respond.

“How polite. However, you were just in the restroom… J. Do you really need to go again?”

It’s not even just the name. He really thinks this is the same J he just allowed to go to the bathroom. I mean, it could just be an honest mistake, right?

“Actually, you’re right. I’m fine. Thanks anyway, sir.”

“Not a problem.”

The man starts walking away to go back to his post, completely unsuspecting.

“See that, Bowie? Weird, huh?” J is still looking in the direction of the man.

“Yeah, weird,” I say. “He was just reading your nametags, though. He must’ve not paid much attention to your faces.”

“Are you serious,” Coal sighs.

“No, it’s alright. If we came to conclusions that quickly, we would be the ones at fault,” says J. “Coal, let Helvetica wear my nametag.”

Next, Coal and Helvetica were the ones to swap. Coal placed her tag on the table. She put J’s on and then raised her hand.

The same exact man from the previous two times walked over, and stopped in front of Helvetica.

“Good morning… J. I must inform you, it is not a good idea to keep calling me when you have no inquiries.”

After that statement, which sounded like a threat, the man goes quiet, waiting for a response.

“Oh, I’m sorry sir. It won’t happen again. Thank you for always being here to help us.”

“How polite,” says the man.

After saying just that, he walked away.

“Convinced now,” asks Helvetica.

“Yes…” But it still doesn’t make any sense.

“The adults' brains are like mush. They recognize us based on nametags alone, and hardly know how to have a fresh conversation,” says J.

“Right. Where these braindead drones come from is another question entirely, though,” added Coal.

There’s no reason to deny it anymore. They’re completely right. I had realized from the start that the grown-ups here were a bit odd, but I never really questioned it. I just sort of got used to them.

“That’s not what we're going to be like when we become grown-ups, is it,” I ask.

“That literally wouldn’t make any sense,” says Coal.

“Yeah, we already told you that what we’re shown on TV is most likely what we end up doing for work.” J still talks about all of this so casually.

I still don’t really get it, though.

“Listen, Bowey, think of it this way,” says Helvetica. “If all us were raised here only to have our brains scrambled so we can be rule-enforcing robots here, then it would all be pointless. This whole place would only support itself, and it wouldn’t have any reason for existing at all. This isn’t the whole world. If we don’t give something back to the rest of it, then they’d just get rid of this facility entirely. When you’re practically our entire military, it wouldn’t be that hard for them to do so.”

She’s right. She’s completely right. Even though I’ve never been anywhere else-- even though we’ve never been anywhere else, this isn’t the whole world. Their TV theory makes a lot more sense than what I was saying. They’ve clearly been at this way longer than I have. I don’t have any business doubting them, or telling them they’re wrong. All of this is way out of my comfort zone. Even taking off my nametag is too much to ask of me. I wouldn’t be able to do it. I’d freeze up, I’m sure. But they do things like that effortlessly. They probably break rules on a daily basis.

What would it take for me to be like that too?

I arrive at the back of the lunch line, not thinking about food at all. I mean, the others have given plenty of other things to think about. I think it would be a lot stranger if I was thinking about food at a time like this. I wonder if the grown-ups even get to think about anything. Could their minds really be completely blank? That doesn’t sound possible.

“Bowey.”

Startled, I quickly turn around.

“Oh, it’s just you, Coal.”

“Just me, huh?” Coal pauses for a short moment. “You’re thinking way too hard about all of this. You’ll get the hang of it in time. So just chill out, alright?”

“Alright,” I affirm. I have a question just for him though. “I know Helvetica jokes about it a lot, but you really do seem to be trying to, like, please J a lot. Well, I might have worded that a bit weirdly, but you get it, right?”

“Yeah, I get it.” Coal pauses. “J has done a lot for me, and I want to do everything I can for him as well. Is that really so strange?”

“Well, no, not really.”

Coal clearly sees J as more than just a friend. Role model, maybe? I don’t know, but I think I get it. J really is a good guy. Most of the older kids don’t associate with us younger ones at all, but J chooses to be our friend with no apparent brainwashing involved. If that doesn’t say something, then I don’t know what does.

We spent the rest of the lunch line wait making small talk, which doesn’t really happen with just Coal and I, one-on-one, very often. I’d say he’s a bit more soft-spoken than J or Helvetica, or even Lou, but he’s not a quiet shy guy either. He just has this calm air about him. At least when he’s not angry.

“Oh yeah, I don’t think I told you the story earlier, Bowey,” says J.

“Story?” I don’t think he mentioned one before.

“Yeah, about the first time we did that experiment we showed you earlier. Before we came up with the idea of using each other’s nametags to see how the adults would respond, I just whited out the rest of my name to see if they’d notice I was the same person. And it’s still the same to this very day. I’m surprised you hadn’t asked about it sooner. I mean, there’s no way you didn’t notice that my nametag was missing some name, right?”

“Oh, I had noticed actually. I just assumed you didn’t like your previous name or something,” I say. “What was your original name?”

“Don’t ask that!” Helvetica yells with such a serious look on her face.

“Oh, um, I’m sorry-”

“I was just kidding, you know. Jeez, shrinking up like that was such a wimpy response.” Helvetica laughs it off and sits back down.

Wimpy? Me? What? But, she’s not wrong. Why am I acting so soft?

“Just ignore her, Bowey. You should have noticed that she messes around like that by now,” says J. “My name was Jack.”

“Because he’s a jack of all trades,” adds Coal.

“I don’t know why you always say that, Coal.” J pauses. “J sounds way cooler though, doesn’t it? I mean Jack is alright, but it didn’t really suit me. J is way more my speed.”

I guess my assumption was at least partially right.

“Yeah, J does sound pretty cool,” I say.

“Right? Like, what kind of name is Jack anyway?” J really is pushing this, for some reason.

I already agreed with him. Why he’s still going, I couldn’t say.

Eventually the lunch buzzer buzzed, still loudly, and we all went our separate ways, back to our rooms.

On the way back to my room, a familiar girl got in my way.

“Oh, it’s you again,” I say.

“Yup! It’s me again, hehehe…” After trailing off, it takes her a second to figure out what she wanted to say. “Oh, Bowey! Um, you see, even though you just met me today, I’ve known you for a long time. Way longer than your new friends have. I know you very well.”

“Umm, okay?”

Finally, I remembered to look away from her eyes, and down at her nametag. Embi, it says. What a strange name.

“Since before we were even moved here, I knew you. We were in the baby room together. You sat right in front of me. We never really talked, nobody did in that room. But, even when we were moved here, I was always watching the back of your buzzcut-shaved head. I still didn’t talk to you, but I heard you talk to all sorts of people. I know you, Bowey, better than anybody else. And… I love you. 

"To be honest, seeing you with another girl really pisses me off too. You can still talk to the other boys sometimes, but the girl needs to be out of the picture. No Ifs, Ands, or Buts about it, alright?”

My memory of the room before here is very limited, but she says she remembers me. And that she loves me? What is she talking about?

“Uh, I’m sorry-”

“And, you know, since the monocle boy is gone and all now, I was thinking maybe I’d have you to myself now.”

…

What did she just say?

“I mean, it’s only fair. I called next on you before those others were even in the picture, so-”

“Monocle boy?” I ask.

“Yeah, the one you used to hang out with all the time,” she replies. “He just wouldn’t leave you alone. I mean, I fell in love with you first. If anybody deserved to be your constant companion, it was me.”

What is she even saying?

“That monocle boy had a name. His name was Lou, and he was my friend.”

“And like I said, he was in the way, so-”

“So what?!”

She’s talking like she knows something. She’d better spit it out quick, or broken rules will be the least of her worries.

“So…” Embi brings her hand to the side of my face. “When I saw the opportunity, I disposed of him.”