Poor, pathetic thing

From the perspective of Tsuruhashi Kazuya

Hmmmm… already seventeen, almost eighteen years old, huh?

“And how many years have we been together?” I asked the adorable maiden of a girl in front of me.

Kurosawa Minori. Beauty incarnate. Pale–skinned, long, jet black hair with eyes of the same color, slim, and carrying a heart of gold. She was wearing a sunhat with a light–blue polka dot dress, perfect for the summer–even if we’re slowly transitioning into autumn now.

I’ve been with this girl since we were kids in elementary school, and was my refuge whenever my parents decided to fight late in the night. She always made it a habit to crawl through my window to get to me ever since we were little, singing to me whenever I cracked down.

I was usually never attached to things and moved on pretty quickly with how frequently stuff I liked broke whenever they fought, but… Minori isn’t a mere thing. She’s my bestest friend ever and my girlfriend.

Minori was staring into space, but… not in my direction. Her expression seemed to be a bit distracted, and it was as if my words went in one ear and out the other.

“Hey!” I snatched her attention, and she let out a little ‘ah!’ when she heard me. Her eyes adjusted, focusing on me.

“Y–yeah! U–um…” She stammered, pivoting her head for a moment before looking back at me before saying, “...sorry, what did you say? I–I’m sorry…”

“How many years have we been together?” I repeated. Honestly, seeing her wide–eyed in any way always made her look millions of times more adorable.

Gosh, I’m so head–over–heels for this girl.

“R–right…” She said with a bit of a… dismissive tone in her voice? She looked down and counted on her fingers, her soft lips moving with a soft whisper I couldn’t hear despite being across the table.

“A–around ten years, now,” she answered. Hearing that we’ve been the bestest of friends and eventually a lovey–dovey couple over the course of a decade always filled my heart with unimaginable levels of ecstasy and love for life right now. For how I feel, for this girl… for everything.

The wind blew and her hair flowed with it underneath her sunhat, and underneath the neckline of her dress, I saw a small dark spot on her shoulder. Concerned, I leaned forward and decided to confront her about it.

“Hey, um…” I said, eyeing her shoulder. “Is there something on your shoulder?”

When I asked that, her already pale face went even paler for a moment before regaining color.

“No,” she said without even looking me in the eye. “It’s nothing. L–let’s go.”

Minori got up and walked away. Her heels clicking on the pavement in quick succession–quicker than what I would’ve ever expected.

I got up and followed behind her.

✦

“Get back, asshole,” a familiar, low, pompous voice said as a strong hand pushed me back. I staggered for a moment, not thinking clearly as I reached out and snatched Minori’s wrist.

She jolted and shrieked, “GET AWAY, STALKER!!!”

For a moment, I froze. My hand began to loosen before I felt a sickening crack sounding from my nose. My hand flew from Minori’s wrist, and behind my blurred vision, I saw her snuggling up to another man in fear. Fear of me.

My vision began to blur, but before everything became an indiscernible mess of colors and blobs, there were people around us just… staring at us—staring at me like I was a sort of criminal, or even a zoo exhibit.

…what the hell? What the hell did I do? How the hell did this happen…?

…

Am I being cheated on…?

…by… my childhood friend…?

My… girlfriend…?

Minori…?

I was petrified, unmoving on the ground as I felt pressure on separate parts of my body build up and die down in small bursts. I didn’t feel any physical pain, and anything I heard was very deeply muffled.

“I said stay away, and look what happened!!” The voice above me said with what felt like genuine fury in its tone.

I felt the bursts of pressure before everything went black.

✦

The next day, Sekka High School…

“Kill yourself, bastard.”

“The world’s better off without scum like you.”

“Disgusting son of a bitch.”

“I’ll fucking murder you myself if you don’t jump off the roof.”

School turned from a cool place into an unimaginable nightmare. Whispers circulated the halls, all filled with scornful, hateful words in my direction.

“I’ll make sure to record him killing himself if he decides to do it at school.”

I never cared for whatever rumors went around school, but now that I found myself on the receiving end of slander, I genuinely felt terrible.

My friend group quickly dissolved… rather, they stayed together, just separated from me.

The president of the light music club just exiled me with all of my things strewn across the floor outside of the door. The club group chat went silent before removing me later in the day.

Just before homeroom started, I saw some other classmates quickly scatter from my desk’s general area. And when I walked closer to my desk, I saw the graffiti scribbled all over it.

KILL YOURSELF

I WANT TO KILL YOU

END YOUR LIFE BITCH

CHANGE SCHOOLS AND WE WILL FOLLOW YOU

I couldn’t believe it. I looked inside my desk and saw photos. I grabbed them and my heart sank to the bottom of my stomach.

Pictures of my parents at home, and my brother, who was currently in Tokyo pursuing his degree. And the worst of all was the picture of my house, and the window to my room. The room that Minori always climbed through.

I flinched, not wanting to see any of it, so I turned the photos around. On the backside of the photo of my house, there was writing.

✦

Better not snitch, sweetie!

Get ready for the end of the day.

There’s a surprise!

P.S. Don’t think about leaving! We know your big brother’s out of town, so if you think about moving from here, we will make sure this stuff spreads over!

Much love!

✦

I held my hand up to my mouth after I ripped the photos up and went straight to the sliding doors in a brisk walk. I felt myself holding in my vomit, quietly smacking my lips as I slid the door open.

And before me stood a taller student with short, scruffy blond hair, and on his face was a cocky smirk as he looked down at me with such condescension. Tall, muscular, cocky… this was Hamamoto Takeshi, the president of the martial arts club.

“Woah there!” He said in a mockingly playful tone, reaching behind me with an overly confident smile, closing the door. “Where are you headed, Tsuruhashi–kun?”

“To, um…” I smacked my tongue, making sure to keep my breathing steady so I don’t just throw up all over the place. “T–to the nurse’s office… th–that’s all.”

“Ah, I see,” Hamamoto snorted, stepping back as if he sensed I was going to just projectile vomit all over the hall. “I won’t keep you, then.”

When I turned my back to him and walked down the hall with my hand over my mouth, he called out to me from down the hall.

“We’ll come pick you up from the nurse’s office by the end of the day if you’ll feel better!”

Hearing such falsely reassuring words did nothing to alleviate the growing anxiety spiking within me, and it made me extend my efforts in trying not to just puke right then and there.

✦

Takeuchi–sensei let me rest in her office for the rest of the day, seeing that I wasn’t getting any better while I was awake. So, I slept the rest of the day off, and she woke me up before classes ended for after school activities.

“Hey, Tsuruhashi–kun,” she said with her soft, nurturing voice. “Time to wake up, kiddo.”

I groaned awake, and I felt that the nausea had subsided for the most part. Nodding, I slid out of bed and bowed to the nurse.

“It’s fine,” Takeuchi–sensei said, bowing briefly before I walked away. “Be careful, and stay safe.” Unlike the words I’ve heard today, her words were filled with care. It was almost as if she might’ve heard the rumors about me around school today.

✦

Arriving at the light music club room I’d once belonged to, I saw that my violin case was resting on the floor directly in front of the door. I felt curiosity building, wondering why my instrument was just out in the hall, but I remembered that I was kicked out of the club without my knowledge.

I leaned down and picked my violin up, throwing the strap over my shoulder. Then, as soon as it got comfortable on my back, I turned around and saw an unfamiliar student.

“Hey pal,” he said as he walked towards me, stepped to my side and placed his hand on my shoulder. “Come on, I’ve got a little something to show you.”

As we walked through the halls, he broke the silence. Not only did I feel the need to stay quiet, too many thoughts were flowing through my head at a million miles an hour. I kept thinking back to how the note said that it had a “surprise” for me.

“What’s with the silence, man?” He chuckled, and I felt a hint of venom and derision in his laugh. “Lighten up! Nobody’s around to say anything! Not when I’m here — the master of offense of the martial arts club!”

So he’s part of the martial arts club. The same as Hamamoto. Makes sense, because when I felt his arm sling around my shoulder, I felt the toned shape of his arm through the sleeve of his blazer.

“Anyways, my name is Shinomori Ryotaro!” He introduced himself. Given his association with Hamamoto just by being in the martial arts club, I was already suspicious of him. Not only that, but his obnoxiously chipper attitude was obviously a front.

“Yo, Shinomori–senpai!” A male student said. He wore a different color, likely a second year and an underclassman of ours. “What’re you doing with that guy?”

“Hey there, Reiji–kun!” Shinomori waved back with his free hand. “Just gonna show him something for a sec.”

“Mind if I tag along?”

“Sure thing! He looks like he’s had a rough day, so lets get his spirits up!”

“Gotcha!”

One by one, more classmates and underclassmen joined Shinomori behind us. I couldn’t hear a thing, as their conversations became a mashed mess of whatever filled their skulls. I glanced back for a second and saw that four other male students were with us, spanning all three years of this high school.

I didn’t realize until it was too late that we were finally behind the school, where it was devoid of life except for me, these guys from the martial arts club, and… the two in front of the incinerator.

Hamamoto Takeshi and Kurosawa Minori.

They looked at me while they were in each other’s arms. Hamamoto had his trademark grin on his face, and it blurred out of view when Shinomori shoved me forward. On all fours, I looked up and saw Hamamoto’s smirk and the confusing expression on Minori’s face. She looked conflicted, but she stayed snuggled up to that prick.

“Hey there, stalker boy,” Hamamoto snickered as leered down at me. “Have a nice day at school today?”

“UGH!!” I let out a pained grunt as I felt one of the martial arts club members kick me in the ribs. I fell over, writhing in pain as I wrapped my hands around my abdomen.

“Take that thing off his back,” I heard someone say.

My violin case was forcefully removed from my back. I couldn’t move well at all due to the pain, but I watched them open the case up and remove the velcro holding in my violin.

“Ah, a violinist, hm?” Hamamoto said as he saw the instrument with the bow. “Did you know he was a violinist, Minori–chan?”

“Minori…–chan…?” I weakly muttered, my whispers definitely indiscernible from the sound of the wind. I seriously couldn’t believe it.

“Yeah,” Minori said. Her tone sounded indifferent, like she was just sharing information about someone she simply just knew.

My eyes widened in horror when I felt someone’s shoe press against my cranium, pushing me further into the dirt, completely covering my mouth. But, I grunted loudly into the earth when I felt that same shoe stomp my head into the ground.

“Holy shit, don’t kill him!” One of them laughed before coming closer, straddling my backside and turning me over. I got a quick breath of fresh air as I was forcibly turned to face the sky, only to face the shoes of the others when slow, powerful blows were laid upon my face.

“Hey, let me get a turn!” Another said. The one that was whaling on me stopped and got off of me, stepping on my stomach to expel the air from my body—laughing as he stepped away.

I slowly turned my head to face the sky, and at the top of my vision, I saw Minori and Hamamoto just staring down at me. Hamamoto’s grin was growing wider, while Minori’s expression remained unmoving. But, that sight was cut short when I felt thumbs dig into my throat, lifting my head up and slamming it into the dirt.

I couldn’t breathe, and I didn’t want to find the strength to fight back. So I was just in pain all over as more of the martial arts club members grew more impatient and started kicking and punching wherever they pleased when they let me breathe.

✦

“This is GOLD! HAHAHA!!”

“Beautiful.”

“Make sure it hurts!”

✦

Tears were streaming down my bruised face as they continued their vicious onslaught in front of my girlfriend and my bully.

Then, they all stopped and propped me up on my knees. I was covered in welts, bruises and blood while I continued to cry. My vision was pretty blurry, but I saw enough when Hamamoto and Minori kissed in front of me.

I was at a complete loss for words.

When they parted, they released each other. Hamamoto came closer to me and knelt down to me, meeting me at my level.

“So, stalker boy,” he began. “How does it feel?”

I wanted to answer. I felt my lips shake as I tried to conjure an answer, but I let out a pained grunt as I jerked to the side. Hamamoto landed a particularly violent punch on my cheek before he stood up and kicked me against the legs of Shinomori, who was holding me up. I heard joints and ligaments snap inside my body, feeling every bit of pain.

Hamamoto knelt down again and looked at his knuckles. He nodded at them and at me and said, “Man, I didn’t even hit you enough to start bruising. Ready?”

Before I could even say anything, Shinomori held me tighter as Hamamoto began to land disgustingly powerful punches all over my broken body. But, before long, he stopped and saw that the skin on his knuckles were splitting. So he stopped and knelt down to me again, slapping me like a dog.

I couldn’t even speak.

Just cry.

“You’re so cute when you’re crying, stalker boy!” Hamamoto laughed as he kept slapping my badly damaged face. Then, he stopped and stood back up, pacing backwards to Minori. But, before he reached Minori, he grabbed my violin bow and snapped it on his knee, throwing it at me like it was garbage. However, it was nothing compared to how he shattered my violin on the top of my head. The violin squealed a pathetic final note as it was destroyed before the clattering of the fingerboard and the scroll landed on my head.

Shinomori finally released me and they all left me, including Minori.

✦

I was rushed to the hospital and stayed for a few weeks. I’d suffered various damages—a few broken ribs, a fractured jaw, a scarred face, and severe depression.

I had thought about what happened those few days. Where everything went wrong—rather, how everything went wrong.

Naturally, I thought about Minori like a junkie needing a daily drug fix. But when I was in the hospital, she never showed up.

Mom was at my bedside, crying every day.

Dad was with her, standing at her side and especially my side whenever his work schedule allowed him.

My older brother, Haruo, was filled with an unfathomable sense of rage and justice, but he kept it at bay. But, knowing his stoic character, he cried really badly with how pink the edges of his eyes were in the days he came to visit.

I felt miserable.

The times my mind wandered made me feel even worse, as I tried my hardest to confide in memories, but only Minori came up in my head. Whenever I was alone in my hospital room during this time, I didn’t sleep all too well with sleepless nights and crying myself to sleep into the early hours of the morning.

I wanted to end my life.

✦

When I was discharged from the hospital, I was ordered by the doctor to stay home for another week. My phone was silent aside from weekold notifications from an unknown contact, which sent me videos of me getting jumped at different angles.

Awful.

Just awful.

After that week, I went to school and purposefully arrived later compared to everyone else. My pace was calm and steady, resolve in each step. Of course, the same rumors shot around school, but I just couldn’t afford to care any longer. Inside my bag was a small knife I grabbed from the kitchen before leaving.

During lunch, I left the classroom and went through the halls.

Whisper, whisper…

Did you see him get beat?

I actually feel kind of bad for Tsuruhashi–senpai now…

Don’t feel bad for him! He’s a stalker! If anything, he deserves it!

Weak–willed bastards, I thought.

I paced up the steps to the rooftops, feeling a draft. It was unlocked. I sped up my walk and set foot on the rooftops. The blinding lights of the day forced me to cover my eyes as I felt fresh air filling my lungs.

It was overwhelming. I felt tears well up in my eyes, knowing that there isn’t another day for me past this point.

I swallowed hard and removed my arms from my face. Truly, the world outside is so, so beautiful. So colorful and filled with life. It's awful that I won't see such sights anymore.

I quickly walked to the chainlink fence before I heard the metal doors close behind me. Curious, I looked back and saw a tan skinned girl with blonde hair tied in pigtails. Her face was covered in makeup, her bag covered in all sorts of pins with charms and keychains hanging off of it.

“Howdy,” she said with a soft, welcoming tone. “Looking for something?”

I looked around for a moment and saw that no one else was on the rooftop except the two of us.

“Not really, no,” I answered.

“Hm,” she nodded. She paused for a moment and looked around, sauntering in a small circle. I saw the loose pink leg warmers around her ankles and arm warmers of the same color around her wrists.

“Gyaru?” I asked.

“Yep,” she nodded, her smile brightening even more. “You know about it?”

“Pretty difficult to not know about it,” I responded with a soft chuckle.

“I know, right?” She laughed. Taking a breath shortly after, she said, “My name’s Inagaki Asuka, and it's nice to meet you! What’s your name?”

“Wait… Inagaki?” I thought out loud. That name was a name that was thrown around school, and even around town.

“Like… from the Inagaki Punks?”

“Bingo!” She cheered, winking with a finger gun pointed at me and another pointed at a completely different direction. A strong gust of wind blew, and it made her look extra cool. “Prime ringleader at your service!”

I flinched. She was just so casual about it. Not only that, but I didn’t feel any hint of derision or disdain in her voice and demeanor, unlike the guys that walked me through the hall that day.

“U–um…” Nervously, I bowed, at a genuine loss for words. “Tsu… Tsuruhashi Kazuya. That’s my name.”

“Oh, I know!”

“Then why’d you ask?”

“I just wanted a personal introduction for myself.” She smiled, putting her arms at her sides. The wind came through again and she stepped closer, her smile not leaving her face. “So, what brings you here, Tsuruhashi–kun?”

“Oh, you’re a third year student as well?”

“Yep,” she nodded. “Okay, now answer the question–”

“I want to kill myself,” I didn’t even hesitate with my answer. I saw her eyes widen for a brief moment, but she didn’t even flinch.

There was a brief beat of silence between us as the wind blew again. She nodded again and said,

“Figured that was the case.” But, she looked me dead in the eye and said, “Not happening, though.”

Curious, I tilted my head.

“Why? Didn’t you see how badly I was beaten with the videos going around school? The rumors of me stalking my girlfriend and stuff?”

“Oh, I did. There isn’t a single soul that doesn’t know about that here. The least I can do is offer my condolences to someone I don’t even know, but… the most I can do is something else.”

“Something else?”

“You’re joining the Inagaki Punks, Tsuruhashi–kun.”