Dec 31, 2025
Hm…… Decent I say. I almost have no critiques. I have… nothing much to say. I feel something and it is actualised fury and that means you're doing good enough in writing to make me feel something. So I guess you make me visualised something, make me resonate with the main character that I don't know how to write perfectly (Due to it being written First person POV, so I don't see much of his name that much to make me remember his name).///
Now, onto the criticism. I now there's a school… however, I don't like that you don't mention a very specific brick in great and precise detail (I.E., a very specific plant, a small and seemingly diminutive thing, or literally just a brick) that glimpses the MC's mind, and his interest that he didn't know about (that isn't that unmoved girl); and also explores what kind of town he is in and et cetera. And another critique and appreciation is that we don't know much of the harlet maiden—of which she perhaps lie about the MC's stalking—so, it is more easier to hate her, although, the hate will be less impactful due to the ambiguity and not truly knowing of MC's love and her "love" at a more fundamental level.///
I guess the violin is the MC's object of interest. However, the lack of detail about it, the lack of showing about how caring MC is towards the violin and how wrong the girl actually is (if that's how you plan it to be, but perhaps not), and et cetera… makes me a bit disappointed.///
Now the sentence length… It is great. Fantastic I say. And… I guess vary it more, and maybe used more of the other punctuation such as a to—dash and semicolon (;).///
Anyhow, find writing I say. 6–7/10. Not as good as The Stranger though.///
