Another Day, Another Silly World

"Ace! Ace! Ace!”

“Get him, Kyouma!”

Kyouma was the captain of the tennis team, the ace that was nearly unbeatable. And he looked fabulous doing it, too. If that weren’t enough, literal sparkles followed his every movement, like the very act drove the heavens to bless him. As flocks of lady fans gathered around to see his performance, they swooned as the sweat glistened upon his brow from each swing of the racket.

“Game set!” a cry sounded as the ball veered just out of reach from his opponent.

The crowd cheered as he crushed another one of his rivals. At this rate, he would be taking nationals by storm the next month. He felt confident of his future. All the training he did had paid off.

After exiting the courts and walking to the parking lot, a ball fell from his bag. He chased after it and scooped it up with his racket. Looking around, it suddenly felt odd to him how quiet everything was… all except for the sound of a revving engine.

A truck suddenly skidded around the corner, charging towards him. His instincts had been trained not to run away, no matter how fast the incoming ball was. Unfortunately, that caused Kyouma to raise his racket in defense instead of leaping to safety. He cursed at this blunder as the truck slammed into him, ending his career early.

v

“You look lovely again today, Tsubasa-kun. It is looking to be a fabulous day!”

Tsubasa extended a hand to the photographer, beaming a charming smile that would melt anyone’s heart. For those that didn’t know, they would be lovestruck. Even for those that did, they would start to question their sexuality.

Tsubasa was a boy. A cute, petite one that loved to dress in girly clothing.

There was a time when he had attracted a lot of unwanted attention due to his thin frame and graceful movements, but soon enough, he learned that there was nothing wrong with it.

He loved how pretty clothing felt right on him. Many adoring fans came to appreciate that, even some of them being male. Of course, there was always a bit of insecurity in a society that wasn’t so accepting outside of its norms. However, Tsubasa found validation when he was approached by a fashion company to model the next line of genderless clothing.

Tsubasa gawked at how such designs could resonate with both the male and female form, enamored by how he could represent the pinnacle of both. The fashion company was equally pleased with Tsubasa’s charm and innocence. He would become a rising star to represent those growing into their adulthood.

That was… if a gust of wind hadn’t happened to blow him over the railing during his photo shoot, sending him into the direct path of an oncoming truck.

v

“Come on! I’m sorry that I checked your messages without asking! I just… got a little worried when I kept seeing that you were busy.”

Usami wouldn’t call himself a possessive man. He was just crazy in love with his girlfriend. Enough to check in on her every hour or so.

Of course, he would keep tabs on her whereabouts. Of course, he would wave his freakishly large hands to protect her from any guy that would so much as flash her a grin. He wasn’t being a creep, just doing his duty as a good boyfriend.

But she didn’t see it that way.

“I’m tired. Tired of you being around every corner, watching what I do. I was being nice when I said that I don’t judge based on appearances. I really did think you were kind of hot, at least your face. But as the others say, get your grubby yaoi hands off me!”

Usami was surprised when she pushed him away. The shock of her accusation caused him to back away more than he meant to…

…right into the path of a speeding truck.

v

“Hey, Vera-senpai, don’t you think we’ve gathered enough weird men for this request?” Diesel groaned as he scraped off the remains of yet another ikemen from his grill.

“That’s only the seventh one, right? I suppose that’s enough for an entire cast. The request called for an assortment of different personalities to make things interesting,” Vera said with a happy pep to her tone.

Diesel eyed the information on the list of candidates that he had serviced. They were all attractive, young men that possessed bombastic traits. He wondered if that had anything to do with how they were chosen.

“Why do they need so many anyways? Is the world THAT bad off? At this rate, they might as well form a color-themed sentai squad, one for each color of the rainbow. I don’t suppose I have to truck a Megaz*ord next, do I?”

Vera paused and turned to Diesel, who immediately felt a certain vibe in the air.

“Mecha? I don’t think that’ll be necessary. I had a different type of ‘gattai’ in store for them. Besides, there was quite a bit of leeway in this request for the cast of the scenario, so they left it up to ‘fate’ as to what type of heroes were chosen.”

Diesel had read the briefing notes. The other world would soon have their holy lady perform a summoning ritual, calling upon a group of heroes to vanquish the demon lord. It was the typical isekai fantasy scenario but framed like an otome game. Certainly, the romance targets had to stand out to woo the self-insert female lead of the world, but something about it all still bothered Diesel. And not just how he had signed up for constructing a dating sim as a request. What happened to balance between worlds?!

“Seems like such a waste to call on so many guys, only to choose one in the end.”

Vera zipped right up to Diesel, getting right up on his grill.

“It does, doesn’t it?! It’s such a waste of ikemen! It is our duty to rectify such an injustice! Who cares if they need so much power to rid their evils? It’s the aftermath that matters! Love after world salvation!”

“And what plan did you come up with to make everyone happy?”

Diesel was a bit curious. Vera had been awfully keen on how she picked her targets. From what he gathered from the request, the holy lady would only choose one of them in the end. The others would literally become side characters. How pitiful that would be.

If there was something that Diesel couldn’t detect about them, he wanted to know. That was the whole reason he chose to shadow Vera’s work this time.

“Well… I just made sure that each of those boys had compatible chemistry with each other.”

“What… for?” That sinking feeling was hitting Diesel again.

“All but one of them will grow disappointed for not being picked. And when that happens, it’s up to the remaining six to lick each other’s wounds. Things will bloom between them as a result. I made sure of it!”

Vera puffed air through her grill, sending her tie flapping. It was a clear indicator of self-satisfaction, and particularly, something that aligned well with her tastes.

Diesel was momentarily perplexed by her confidence, until something finally clicked.

“Wait… you don’t mean…”

“It won’t stop with just some licking… fufufufu~~~ I can’t wait to see Usami-kun going full seme! And that Tsubasa, don’t you think he’ll look perfect on the bottom, all teary-eyed?! Kyouma, Kyouma-kun, he’s my all-rounder. Perfect to fill in for any position!”

Vera’s windshield completely fogged up, her words rambling on and on. It didn’t take long for Diesel to back away slowly into a portal, leaving her to dwell on the arrangements.

All this time, she had been looking for BL pairs to ship!

Gawrrrr! To think that what I had been missing was yaoi senses! None of that, please and thank you!

Diesel arrived back at Mama Shanty’s Truck Stop, banging his front on the nearest gasoline stand. He would let Vera take care of the rest. Diesel mentally wrapped a bow around the request.

Miss Priestess and her BL Squad, I am done with you!

After a few minutes, another Truck-kun rolled up to offer some words.

“Looks like you had a request that gave you a mental beating. Nothing that some good hydrocarbons won’t fix!”

“Mama Shanty, no matter how you dress it up, we’re all just binging gasoline here. And yes, accompanying Vera was quite the adventure.”

The two of them looked up in time to see Vera passing through, still starry-eyed and leaking a trail of fluid under her.

“Ah, you get used to it. We all have things that make us riled up,” Mama Shanty sighed.

“What’s yours then?”

Mama Shanty paused at the question. Diesel hadn’t seen her on that many requests compared to the others. Most of the time, she was at this truck stop, serving the others.

“I’m still waiting for that dream guy to truck.”

Diesel hadn’t expected it, but maybe, Mama Shanty was the pickiest of them all.

“If only there were more requests for suave, cool-headed mature men. Maybe a detective, brandishing his badge with a face of righteousness, gun in hand. He would give a heated chase, guarding the innocent while taking warning shots to drive the criminal in a corner. He would run out of ammo, switching to his fists, rolling on the ground, until… until… he would unfortunately be tossed into the path of oncoming traffic!”

“Mama Shanty, the gasoline is spilling.”

“Oh! Sorry about that! But wouldn’t you say that kind of target is worth running into?!”

Diesel didn’t exactly have a ‘dream’ target, so the appeal was lost on him. For some reason, Mama Shanty reminded him of that time he walked into his older sister’s room, where there was a row of calendars with sexy firefighters hanging over her bed. He had simply passed it off as a ‘preference’.

“From what the others have told me, you like intellectuals. Heroes that use their brains to defeat the enemy. It doesn’t have to be a guy in uniform, right?”

Mama Shanty sniffled, which felt a bit odd because trucks didn’t have noses.

“I tried! But for some reason, the ‘smart’ hero that they wanted wasn’t a versatile, mature man with class! Instead, they wanted a pair of shut-in siblings who did nothing but play games all day!”

Diesel couldn’t say anything to counter that. Isekai worlds often requested for the most nonsensical skill sets when it came to summoned heroes. Failures in one world tended to counterbalance into something overpowered in another. Someone ‘capable’ might find their skills underutilized elsewhere.

Besides, I wouldn’t be motivated to get up from my sofa to point and cheer at an old dude. But a kiddo learning his or her place in the world… I’m more down with that.

Thinking that, Diesel realized that he was probably just as bad as the rest. His mind was probably poisoned already with oversaturated media. Enough to think that a cool detective was someone that just beat up his villains with ladders, bicycles, or umbrellas. Mental prowess between foes just didn’t hit the same without some kind of silly martial arts akin to a Hong Kong B-movie.

“Cheer up, Mama Shanty. You’ll find the request just for you someday. And it will be all yours. I’m sure Kami-sama will save the best with you in mind.”

“That is, if a goose doesn’t take it first.”

“After that deal Kami-sama struck, letting them help occasionally, things haven’t been so bad. At least, they’ve stopped sniping them out from under us.”

It seemed like Moon Goddess Yue wasn’t actually trying to compete with Kami-sama after all. But rather, it was just her way of catching his attention. She gave no objections to loaning her geese out when asked.

Most of them liked non-lethal pranks anyway. The last time Diesel tried to log into his dashboard mahjong game, he could have sworn that one of them ‘fixed’ the dora indicator against him. He lost that hand to a counted Yakuman right after, much to his annoyance.

For now, Diesel idled his engine, took a few sips of fruity gasoline, and contemplated on what kind of request he would do next. It was just another day in the life of a Truck-kun.

Maybe he would find an interesting role just for him as well.