The Hero that No One Expected

A shining column of light faded as the ritual came to an end. Where it was before, now stood a teenage boy with peculiar clothing unlike the robes and armor donned by those around the room. A look of shock remained frozen on his face as he was greeted by even more surprises.

No one could blame him after all. The boy had just been summoned from another world, the vertigo from being transported making him feel that it was hardly a dream. Slowly, his lips regained sensation.

“Wh-Where am I? Who are you? Why are you pointing swords at me?!”

An old man with a staff approached him. He looked every bit like a wise sage from some fantasy setting. Half expecting that he would break into some long-winded lecture, the boy’s jaw dropped when the air around him changed suddenly.

“Now, now. It’s okay. It’s okay. Away with the pointy swords, the lot of you!” The old man dropped the boy a grin before galloping around the room to shoo away the knights. Suddenly, he looked like a silly grandpa that threatened to playfully smack with a whacking stick for disobedience.

Turning back to the boy, he offered his hand, now that the stiffness in the air had lifted.

“Don’t be afraid. My name is Magus Zelocus. We have summoned you into this world as a champion. May I ask for your name?”

“I-It’s Rock.”

“ALL HAIL, HERO ROCK!” Zelocus boomed with arms raised in excitement, letting it echo off the walls. The knights followed suit until Rock’s ears started hurting.

Rock had no idea how he ended up in such a place. He had been minding his own business not long ago. Not being one to enjoy the spotlight, he often kept to himself in his room. Posting random gifs on social media, writing bad poetry, and passing on memes – that was how he liked spending his time. Being online was his sole source of interaction with others, popping up and dropping off to sleep whenever he felt like it. His presence was just enough for people to forget when he wasn’t around.

With a large crowd chanting his name as their hero now, he felt quite unsettled by it all, but he could find no comfort from the absent cat plushies and dakimakuras that surrounded him at home. Once again, a hand came towards him.

“Please come, Hero Rock. Your destiny awaits.”

Rock had no choice as Zelocus guided him onward, out of the summoning chamber and into a magnificent castle. For a moment, the beautiful architecture made him forget the cozy conveniences he had. The fancy, dressed-up nobility and clank of metal as knights marched made everything else sink in.

Soon after, Rock was put before the royal family. He was a bundle of nerves until the king himself prostrated before him.

“Hero Rock. I am placing my complete faith in your success. Please gather faithful companions and claim the hero’s rightful treasure from the Divine Beings. We need your help to fight against the Demon Lord.”

Those familiar with RPG-style games were at home with such a plot, so Rock readily agreed, especially when the king offered the beautiful princess’s hand in marriage and wealth for the rest of his life.

Yet, a strange feeling kept gnawing at him the whole time.

Why does everyone seem so desperate?

Rock quickly found the answer to his question when he looked around the audience hall, seeing many statues that had fallen into disrepair. Having traced his gaze, the king quickly followed through with explanations.

“Those statues before you once represented the other heroes that protected this great kingdom. Sadly, each of them has been defeated, their divine weapons taken. As such, these crumbling statues are meant as a reminder of how dire our situation is.”

Rock eyed the statues carefully, each one holding a different type of weapon – sword, spear, bow, shield, claw, scythe, mace, and others that he couldn’t make out. The lone statue that remained pristine and glowing depicted a hero in a victory pose, like he was doing a fist pump.

“Let me guess. I’m that last hero. But what divine weapon am I supposed to wield? And how the hell am I supposed to succeed when all the others have failed?!” Rock pointed, wondering.

Zelocus stepped in to reassure Rock that he still had a chance.

“With the other weapons having lost their blessing, the power of the Divine Beings will all funnel into the final weapon, ensuring that you hold the ultimate power! We need you to find it and wield it for our sake. Only the chosen hero can undergo the trials to obtain it!”

“What is ‘it’?”

“We don’t know. The Divine Beings only gave us these statues as clues to their power.”

Rock was highly skeptical about it all. With so little information, everyone could see the doubt in his eyes.

“But worry not! You will have the kingdom’s full backing! Anything you wish to help you on your quest, just name it and I will personally see to it!” The king knelt before Rock again, completely serious.

Zelocus dropped to his knees beside him.

“We are prepared to serve you, our last Hero! Women, money, power – it is all yours to secure the future of this kingdom! I believe your Majesty will even pass over the crown if you so wish for it!”

“There’s no way to send me home, is there?” Rock squeaked, feeling pressured by their desperation.

“Unfortunately, that is the one thing that cannot be done. The summoning is a one-way spell.”

Zelocus’s words were a final nail in the coffin. There was no ducking out of it. The only path to regaining a relaxing life was to succeed. With a reluctant sigh, Rock agreed, setting off on his goal to become the laziest king ever.

v

Months later, Rock and his companions finally made it to the Altar of the Gods, where he could claim his legendary weapon. The king and his followers hadn’t lied. Rock had the very best of warriors and mages back him on his journey. The most exquisite armor and blades were handed out to ensure that Rock would fit into his role of Hero without equal.

Throughout his search, the party pushed back hordes of evil beings to free any villages that were in the Demon Lord’s possession. As a result, all the accumulated wealth and experience made Rock unparalleled. Even if he were to quit and run away to some far-removed country, he would be wanting for nothing.

Yet, a promise was a promise. He couldn’t turn his back on those that had given him so much to get here. Even the trials weren’t so much of a struggle. He had grown used to operating as a team, feeling quite confident as he tore through the challenges.

Soon enough, he reached the final room. Claim the legendary weapon, and then, the Demon Lord would meet his end.

Rock stepped up to the glowing pedestal at the apex of the altar. A white light washed over him as his companions watched from afar. This was the final moment, a conversation with the Divine Beings themselves. They waited anxiously to see if their hero was deemed worthy.

Several minutes later, Rock stepped down from the altar, looking unchanged. There was no extra item in his possession, making his party shoot looks of worry and confusion.

“D-Did you get it? Your divine weapon?” one of them asked finally.

Rock beamed a smile. “Of course. It’s right here.” Rock made an air pump gesture, similar to the statue.

Still confused, the party members shrugged it off and made for the exit, impatiently wondering just what form the weapon would take. Upon exiting, a familiar old man waited for them.

“Zelocus? What are you doing all the way out here?”

“Hero Rock, my boy. I just had to be the first to congratulate you for succeeding in your quest. You retrieved the final divine weapon, correct?”

“Yep, right here.” Rock patted his arm.

“Excellent. Our long-awaited wish has finally come to fruition. And I have you to thank for its completion.”

Zelocus raised his hand for a handshake, which Rock walked forward to accept. But just as Rock approached, magic flew from Zelocus’s staff. Rock turned around to see his party members flung backwards by huge stalagmites protruding up from the ground. Rock guarded just in time to receive a swift blow that knocked the air out of his lungs. He barely managed to hold his ground, but then, Zelocus grabbed him roughly by the arm.

“Yes, thank you, Hero Rock! For providing me, Zelocus – the most faithful servant of the Demon Lord – the final weapon of the Divine Beings! After I take this one, there will be no medium for divine power to interfere with his Evilness!”

Zerocus cackled as he transformed into a more youthful mage with dark skin and tattoos. Apparently, his illusion magic was powerful enough to fool the entire kingdom. The magical aura emitted from Zerocus was stronger than anything that Rock had faced, enough to blow away his entire party in a surprise attack.

“Don’t worry, my unfortunate hero. The others were just as shocked by the betrayal. As you are the final one, I’ll even make you an offer for your service – give up the divine weapon willingly, and I’ll spare everyone here for now. At least, long enough to run from the Demon Lord before he razes the rest of the world!”

Rock could hardly do anything in this situation. The attack had left him staggered. If he dared to pick up his sword, Zerocus would strike him down in an instant. And then, everything would be lost.

I just want to relax again. I knew I was never fit to be a hero…

Zerocus could feel Rock’s resolve waiver. He laughed silently as the hero nodded lightly with tears in his eyes.

Otherworld brats are always so weak-willed and coddled. A little threat and they fall to pieces.

“Okay. You win. I give up.” Rock flat said.

“Good. Now, where is it?” Zelocus let go of him, assured of his victory.

“Hold on. I’ll bring it out now.”

Rock lifted his arm up and made a fist pump motion twice.

Zelocus waited. Nothing happened. A look of confusion came over his face as nothing divine appeared before them.

“Quit fooling around! Where-”

Zerocus was suddenly interrupted by a loud rumble in the distance. It grew louder with every passing second.

“Wh-What did you do?!” Zelocus yelled at Rock.

“I summoned it. The last of the divine weapons.”

Zelocus turned to the noise, scrutinizing the weird shape. It was unlike anything he had seen before.

“Is that… a chariot?”

“No, it’s a truck. For I am the Truck Hero.” Rock smiled as the truck flew by with its doors opened, sucking the hero into the driver’s seat.

“You caaaalllled?” The truck skidded to a stop after Rock was securely buckled in place. “Hello there. Diesel, at your service. One Truck-kun, compliments of Kami-sama, ready to do your bidding.”

Zelocus had no idea what was going on, but sensing the dangerous entity in front of him, he fired a strong bolt of magic. To his surprise, it bounced right off the front, harmlessly dispersing.

“Hey! Kami-sama gave me that shiny buff coating just for this! Don’t go messing it up already!” Diesel revved his engine and edged forward aggressively.

In a panic, Zelocus dumped his mana into the strongest spell in his repertoire.

"BURN! BY THE UNHOLY FLAMES OF HELL! TURN MY ENEMY INTO ASH! INFERNO!!!"

A twister of fire erupted around the truck, turning the ground around it molten. The rotations grew tighter and tighter until the twister converged on its target. However, the truck simply slammed its accelerator and blew right through the attack.

“It can’t beeeee!!!” Zelocus yelled as the truck came flying right for him, the red-hot surface of its grill crashing first. The scent of charred skin wafted through the air as Zelocus was carried on a trip right into the nearest rock wall, several meters thick.

After a sickening crunch, Diesel backed up to reveal a Zelocus patty, flattened with grill marks, against a cracked surface. If the searing heat hadn’t cooked him already, the collision had undoubtedly shattered his bones.

“Perfect day for a barbecue, isn’t it, Mr. Rock? How are you faring in there?”

“I can hardly complain. It’s been ages since I’ve enjoyed air conditioning. That toasty fire magic didn’t even make me break a sweat. A divine weapon from the gods is surely something! Top-notch!” Rock patted the dashboard in approval.

“As Kami-sama told you, this is the last resort weapon for this world. You can’t go calling us up all the time, you know. But since I’m here already, let’s finish up with fixing things here. Toss your companions in the back and let me handle the rest!”

“Right-o, lead the way!” Rock rolled down the window and continued doing fist pumps, signally their victory.

With Diesel and Rock at the vanguard, the forces of the Demon Lord were no match, run over by the unstoppable might of the Truck Hero in the blink of an eye. In the process, Rock and his companions managed to recover the other legendary weapons from the Demon Lord’s captains, which regained their blessings when returned to the rightful side. With the tide completely turning, the Demon Lord was no match for the kingdom’s renewed power.

Rock got his wish finally, settling in a small village with the princess by his side, a life of total relaxation. Those that visited him would laugh at how unhero-like he had become. But Rock didn’t mind. He had all the time in the world to tell his side of the story.

Not that anyone would believe the fairy tale of The Almighty Truck-kun That Ran Over the Demon Lord’s Entire Army.