Isekai Enthusiast Chat Group

[NoIsekaiNoLife has logged in.]

NoIsekaiNoLife:

Hey, did you guys hear the news?

MotivatedbyHarem:

No, what’s up?

SmartPhoneSensei:

Did season 3 of my favorite trash isekai get announced?! UwU

NoIsekaiNoLife:

No, this is bigger! Like what we’ve been all waiting for!

MotivatedbyHarem:

Well, just spit it out already…

NoIsekaiNoLife:

Some dude in my neighborhood got wrecked by a truck! And there’s a video of it!

SmartPhoneSensei:

Ha, poor guy, Hope he wakes up in the world of his dreams.

NoIsekaiNoLife:

That’s just it. He might’ve!

MotivatedbyHarem:

You’ve got to be joking…

NoIsekaiNoLife:

[Link attached – click to reveal]

MotivatedbyHarem:

…

SmartPhoneSensei:

There’s no driver?! It’s a truck with no driver!

VanishmentDisWarudo:

OMG, IT’S REAL!!! THE LEGENDS ARE REAL!!!

MotivatedbyHarem:

Quick! Where was this?!

NoIsekaiNoLife:

A couple of blocks by the station, next to the high school.

nopantshero:

yeeee boiiii, our ticket to git isekeied, letsa git wreckeedddd

MotivatedbyHarem:

I’m in.

SmartPhoneSensei:

Me too, ofc.

nopantshero:

isekei deez nutzzzzz

NoIsekaiNoLife:

Offline meeting time! Go go go! Chase it down!

[VanishmentDisWarudo has logged off.]

[MotivatedbyHarem has logged off.]

[nopantshero has logged off.]

[SmartPhoneSensei has logged off.]

[NoIsekaiNoLife has logged off.]

[OPinmyPants has logged off.]

DarkFlameLord:

I leave the room for a sandwich and this happens?! WTF?!

DarkFlameLord:

You’re joking, right?

DarkFlameLord:

Guys?

v

It was like any other day. Diesel was cruising through the streets after his latest job. Yet another random guy into the next world. Yet another scene that he had to doctor with divine powers to make it look like some accident. This target had been marked due to his strange devotion to digital monsters on his phone.

The job itself had been far too easy. The target didn’t even bother to look up from the screen, finger making a twirling motion while completely absorbed. Such meticulous care was a desirable trait for the world he would end up in, a place hoping for beast tamers as summoned heroes.

“Not every world is as established by humankind as what you’re used to. They don’t have enough manpower in their world, so they capture beasts in little doohickeys and have them fight instead. One misstep, and humanity is wiped out, but that’s not our business.”

Occasionally, it felt like Kami-sama dropped bombs that made Diesel wonder just how serious the gods were about ‘protecting the balance’. There were implications that ‘oopsies’ leading to world ruin were common water cooler events, something to erase the drawing board and start over again.

“Hey, you humans reap what you sow. If an accident spirals things out of control, don’t expect the gods to wipe it up. We only care if things swing too far one way or the other, in which they’d be doomed without interference.” The sound of nails filing could be heard over the radio.

“I can’t help but think that we cause some of that imbalance by doing our jobs. All that gacha hero power awakenings can’t be good for the ecosystem,” joked Diesel.

“Some things can’t be touched even by divine hands. Unpredictable powers aside, moving people around has been happening since the dawn of the universe. A little spice every billion years isn’t so much to ask for.”

The gods playing 4D isekai chess for amusement sounded about right. Diesel gave up on trying to make sense of it. It was way above his pay grade. Sticking to farming karma was all he could manage.

Diesel sighed. The reason he was being so chatty with Kami-sama was because he felt bummed out by his recent requests. Try as Diesel might to ‘spice’ things up like the others, he found himself only momentarily amused. Thoughts of clinging onto his remaining ‘humanity’ filled his head. He couldn’t simply forget about being human and go all in on the Truck-kun life.

For this reason, Diesel was now idly on an after-job stroll, sightseeing to keep his mind in check. The unpleasantness was pushed away with any distraction that he could find.

Exploring was the one big luxury a Truck-kun had access to. It wasn’t restricted to his own world, but pretty much the infinite possibilities of the cosmos. Even if the environments were similar, he could be on a planet on the other side of the galaxy without even realizing.

Particularly for low-technology worlds, Diesel found it amusing to go incognito in a disguise, only revealing himself when needed. The ‘service’ that entailed him becoming a legendary summon for a hero had Diesel cracking up so much. There was never a dull moment to the places that he found himself in.

As he rolled down a street, a conspicuous group of oddly-dressed people eyed him suspiciously. It was strange. A divine cloak normally misdirected the gaze of normal people from Truck-kuns. Yet, their attention was honed right at him.

That could only be if…

“That’s the one! The driverless truck!” someone said, pointing.

… if they were already consciously looking for one.

Diesel hit the gas. The last time one saw him so clearly was that cultivator that had returned. He didn’t want a repeat, or worse, a group of them chasing after him.

“Yo, Kami-sama! Can I get a little backup here?! I need a portal, stat!”

Fun time was over. Diesel’s cover was blown. The existence of Truck-kuns were supposed to be myths. Memed over the internet as a joke.

“GO! GO! GO! AFTER IT!”

As much as Diesel wanted to haul it through this little town, he still was limited by the traffic laws. That made it more difficult to outrun them, especially when they got on mopeds, motorbikes and cars to continue the chase.

Diesel turned a corner, twisted through the bends of the streets and tried to find a safe spot to hide. Just when he thought he lost them, a moped carrying three burst through a different alleyway, cutting him off. More vehicles came from behind. There was still no sign from Kami-sama.

“Any time now!!!” Diesel felt cold perspiration drip down his windshield. The radio was silent.

Diesel was drawing blanks in his panic. And that panic caused him to… idle. He played dead as the group of people got off their vehicles and lined up before him. All at once, they suddenly groveled with their heads on the pavement.

“Oh great, Truck-sama! Please send us unworthy servants to the other world of our dreams! We humbly request your blessing to be chosen as heroes who can be more useful than the current lives we are cursed with!”

“I wish to be OP!”

“A harem would be nice, but I’ll settle for three-, no, two girls!”

“Let me bring my smartphone!”

“Cat girls…. Bunny girls… Any girl with dem ears!”

“Bless me with a big sword, if you know what I mean!”

Diesel’s vision swam as he tried to wrap the statements bombarding him all at once. The urge to yell back with retorts was getting extreme, but he couldn’t show any signs that he was the Truck-kun they were all hoping for.

How the hell did they find out about me anyways?! And what’s with some of those asks? Do they think getting sent to another world is an instant ticket to Paradise?!

They were all delusional, and the sooner that Diesel escaped, the better. Not to mention, he had no idea what would even happen if he trucked them with no coordination on Kami-sama’s part. There were protocols that had to be followed!

Maybe if I hold very still, they’ll get bored and go away… Diesel had no choice but to play dead. Whether that would have worked or not would never be known as the radio responded right at that moment.

“Hey Diesel? I’m having a bit of trouble over here. Your request is done, so hold off on your own until I have the chance to teleport you.”

DAMN IT, KAMI-SAMA!

The group of people all praised the heavens at that moment, having likely heard the deity speak.

“IT’S TRUE! OH, HOLY TRUCK-SAMA!!! WE ARE READY TO BE SENT!”

They leapt to their feet, aiming to be the first to be hit by that grill. The swarm of people sent Diesel flooring it in reverse, awkwardly spinning around before gunning it down the road again. He didn’t care anymore about being found out. He just had to get away from the crazy cult of isekai fanatics.

“AFTER IT!” he heard them cry from behind. The chase was on again.

Diesel tried even harder to twist around the streets, hoping that they would lose sight of him. But no matter what he did, they popped out of nowhere, like they knew every inch of the layout and where he was.

Not to mention, Diesel had started changing the shape of his body to throw them off even more, but somehow, their attention remained razor-focused on his location.

How is this possible?!

Normal people shouldn’t normally even be able to detect them, much less see past all the tricks! Diesel was at a loss… until he heard someone chuckling right next to him.

A guy had ridden right up to Diesel on a motorbike. He flipped up his visor, showing off a strangely-patterned eye.

“Ha ha ha, do you think you can escape my otherworldly detection capabilities?! This magic eye reveals all!”

Diesel watched as he proceeded to edge ahead before pulling out a smartphone.

“This is it, guys! VanishmentDisWarudo is taking the leap!”

The biker suddenly jerked right in front of Diesel, and it took everything for him to veer away, letting the bike and rider trip and stumble to the asphalt. Diesel wasn’t letting anyone force their way into his grill!

Others attempted as well, an obese man with a moeblob shirt parked his car right in Diesel’s path before jumping towards him, shouting a battle cry of hopeful doom.

“I wanna be the Harem King!”

Diesel hit the brakes and drifted to the side, letting the man fly by and take a tumble down a hill and into some garbage.

“Please, go easy on the sensitive parts!” Another closed his eyes and shielded his crotch as his moped drove straight toward Diesel.

The other two men on the moped cried out similarly dumb things.

“Forget about being a guy! Reincarnate me as a hot mama. I want that yuri!”

“Maids! Bikini armor! Hot springs! I want a ‘shameless reincarnation’! I’ll try my very best in that life!”

Diesel was about ready to truck them, just to get them off his back. Regardless of protocols, the urge to truck was rising! Just then, the radio sounded again.

“All set to send you back. Hold still while I aim….”

Moments later, a portal formed in front of him. Diesel slipped through, and the portal disappeared, just in time for the moped to whiff at where he would have been. Diesel sighed as the familiar scenery of Kami-sama’s garage surrounded him. The old deity was standing there, stroking his chin.

“Where were you?! I was this close to offing those loonies who wanted to be trucked!” Diesel shouted with annoyance.

“Sorry, I had a few things to handle for the next job. Some unavoidable favors.”

Diesel spotted some white feathers stuck to Kami-sama’s body, quickly concluding that Moon Goddess Yue had roped him into something. Even when those geese weren’t interfering with requests, they were still an annoyance. If only those cultists bothered them instead.

“How the heck did those people keep finding me anyways?! Is there really magic in that world?”

“No, you’re just being unobservant.”

Kami-sama walked over and plucked something from Diesel’s side. A small tracking device was still beeping in his hand.

“Remember the lengths that humans will go to succeed. That earnest desire to die by truck resonated enough for them to form a connection with the Divine Realm. That’s how requests start after all.”

“Then, should I have trucked them?”

“You could have. But without a deity to guide them, the chances are high that they would end up in some terrible location with no divine protection. Getting eaten by a monster or enslaved would be the least of their worries. Perhaps, just desserts for those hoping to abandon their lives without the proper setup that communing with deities offer.”

“What could be worse than dying a horrible death?”

“Being stuck as a rock or a tree, unable to move or do anything during your lifespan.”

“If I had known that, I would’ve just run them over.” Diesel sighed, now regretting his caution.