Chapter 9 - Drop of Humanity

I couldn’t recall the time I was asleep. Usually, when I would fall asleep, I would have knowledge injected and be aware of the time passing, or the God of Time would be there. But there was nothing. I simply went to sleep and woke up.

I stared at the ceiling for around five minutes, collecting my thoughts. This was one of the first times I hadn’t been overwhelmed by questions when not distracted. It was rather nice. I felt slightly empty though- as if something was missing.

That emptiness was instantly pulled away as the door slammed open and Ame enthusiastically burst into the living room and out of the storage room.

“Goooood morning Nell!”

Sy and Kaya both exited their respective rooms at the same time and immediately rushed outside. Ame sat down on the raggedy couch as the door to the storage room bursted open.

Dominic left his room without a shirt and wet hair that reached down to his shoulders. Ame threw a sweater that looked identical to the one he previously wore, and Dominic snatched it out of the air and put it on. He grabbed his sword and walked the same way Kaya and Sy went.

Ame and I were the only two people left.

“You can take a shower later, you have water magic. Let’s go!”

I didn’t know what he was talking about, but I silently followed him anyway.

Outside of the building, Dominic was stuffing items into the trunk of Ame’s car. Ame dashed forward faster than I could comprehend, and immediately sat in the front seat with the worm on his lap. Dominic was behind the steering wheel, his sword softly placed under his seat. Kaya sat in the left side of the back seat, and Sy sat in the right.

There was only one place for me to sit in, and that was the middle.

I sat down, directly between the girl who almost killed me and the guy who almost killed me, and yet I felt safer than anywhere else.

Dominic, seemingly already knowing that it was self driving, unlike somebody else, turned the car on and it zoomed off.

Nobody seemed to be speaking, and nobody seemed to be preoccupied with anything else so I believed this was the perfect time to know more about these people.

After all, Ame was the only human I truly knew anything about. He was the only human I needed to know, and yet I still wanted to know more people. I knew it would be okay, but I still worried if Ame would be fine with it.

I looked over to Ame in the passenger seat, and he just smiled back. I had nothing to worry about.

I decided to ask the biggest question first.

“Kaya, where did you get that dagger?”

There were two reasons I could think of for why Dominic cared about Kaya’s dagger more than getting harmed. The first was that Kaya’s dagger is imperative to her or the mission, and the second is that he doesn’t care about himself.

She spoke, staring down at the dagger placed on the floor.

“Sy gave it to me.”

Sy, on the opposite side of the car as Kaya began to explain the full story.

“My uncle gave it to me, but I didn’t really care about him. I gave it to Kaya because she didn’t have a weapon.”

That made sense, but there was one part of it that didn’t.

“You don’t have a weapon either, though.”

He completely ignored me, but at least it wasn’t silent the entire time.

Kaya excitedly pointed out the window on her side.

“Look! There’s a wolf!”

She was right, there was a wolf. It was rather small, though.

Sy squished me while trying to look outside her window.

We all were looking out the window as the wolf passed, and something else came into view. A man with a military outfit stood there for a millisecond, before we passed him. Kaya and Sy’s face shifted into a worried yet excited expression while Dominic and Ame sat there unaware.

Kaya yelled at the top of her lungs.

“Commander!”

The car immediately stopped as Dominic and Ame dashed out. Sy dragged me out and Kaya grabbed her dagger and the car got crushed and flew into the forest behind us. The worm got thrown out of the window, but it wasn’t harmed.

The entire group stood there in a combat stance, while I merely stood in the only fighting stance I knew. I knew little about fighting but I seemed to be adapting quickly. This meant that all my power came from magic.

So I used magic.

I bent my arm so I didn’t break it and have to heal it like last time, and aimed my hand at the man while my other hand held my wrist steady. If I was going to kill him, I would need to do it in one blow. I couldn’t risk anybody getting hurt.

Not again.

If I needed to kill to prevent that, so be it. I truly had no idea about the value of a human life. But Ame’s life was the most valuable out of all of them.

I held all the magical energy I could muster in the palm of my hand, the light reflecting off it becoming gold or white depending on where the sun hit. It was all the magical energy I had in my body, for that was what I needed to win here. He had the number ninety-one on his ankle, after all.

My energy slowly grew farther and farther away from my body as it turned into the only shape I knew how to turn it into. A ball, just like the one I killed the other commander with, but much larger.

I couldn’t waste anymore time. I shot the ball at him, but I never got to see what happened next.

Because I died.

…

Flashing colors shot through senses that I didn’t have access to. There were the wings of a flightless butterfly… a flame and a void shot past my mind. Swords snapped in half and ice melted. A warm wind blew past me, and my eyes forcefully opened. I was in a world that I didn’t know, in between two realms that were both familiar to me.

I could feel the presence of three people. Two of them were familiar and yet the third was unrecognizable. The unfamiliar one… his gaze was holding together my being, but I hated it. He sat on the throne, staring down at me without a single drop of humanity in his eyes.

I couldn’t stand the fact that he was viewing me. The essence of the universe surrounded me, and yet I couldn’t grasp any of it. I was as lost in death as I was at the start of life.

The man continued to stare at me.

“Please… stop looking at me.”

That was all I could say before I was back to life.

…

“Huh.”

My mind was slowly racing. The number of contradictions within my existence at that moment couldn’t be counted.

Ame sat on his knees next to me, as he held me in his arms.

“Nell… Nell! Are you okay?!”

The knots within my mind began to untie with every word he spoke.

“I… I died.”

“I can see that! Don’t be reckless with your RME. It was the only thing keeping you alive.”

Kaya threw the commander's dead body at Ame’s broken car and walked over to me.

“We had to work our asses off to redirect your magic back to you after it hit the commander! If you do that again, you won't be alive. I’ll make sure of it.”

I see. That’s why my energy felt as if it was leaving my body while I was creating the ball. It’s because it literally was. I needed to limit myself heavily from there on out. I couldn’t stand worrying Ame any more than I had to.

Dominic looked at me as a disappointed yet concerned look took over his face before taking the equipment out of the crushed car. I couldn’t tell what he was disappointed about.

“Please don’t do that again.”

“Okay.”

Sy was laid out on the floor, most likely exhausted from something.

Ame propped me up and put his arm over my shoulder to help me walk. The car was completely destroyed, so the only choice we had was to walk on foot. I couldn’t hold Ame back.

“It’s okay, I can walk.”

I wasn’t lying, but it still hurt me after every step.

The tense air from my error earlier soon dissipated as the group began talking to each other normally. As we entered a heavier crowd of trees, the air became similar to the one back at the mountain. It was chilly enough for me to be uncomfortable, but not enough for me to consider it as cold. Kaya and Sy were jumping around in the trees around us while Dominic and Ame led the way to find an exit out of the forest.

“We’re gonna set up camp at night time. We’ve spent too much time because of that fu-”

Dominic looked to see where Kaya was before speaking. Kaya looked back at him from on top of a tree branch nearby.

“Because of that commander.”

Ame giggled softly before nodding his head as Kaya ran off.

Moments later, a deafening scream echoed throughout the forest, seemingly coming from nearby. The scream didn’t seem terrified though. It was rather excited.

Dominic immediately grabbed his sword and dashed to the source of the scream faster than I could see with my eyes.

Ame soon followed, so I did too. The source of the scream stood there, petting a massive wolf. It was larger and more terrifying than any other animal, and yet I didn’t see any malice in its eyes. It was a soft creature and yet it was given an appearance that directly contradicts that.

Kaya petted the creature while it growled as if it would eat her. Dominic readied his sword and Ame watched on with an unreadable expression.

I wasn’t sure why Dominic was worried. Couldn’t he see that it was harmless?

I strode up to the wolf next to Kaya and asked it a question.

“What’s your name?”

The wolf didn’t say anything.

Kaya, next to me looked disappointed and turned to me.

“Nell, wolves can’t talk. They can’t name each other either.”

But animals with larger bodies had larger brains, right? Why couldn’t the wolf speak?

Even if it couldn’t speak, it could still feel. I had recently realized I understood animals better than humans due to their simpler minds. I could grow attached to them rather easily. This was obvious judging by the fact that I was absolutely not going to leave the forest without bringing the wolf with me.

Kaya thought the same, apparently.

“You! Your name is Little Man. You will be our car!”

The wolf was female.

I got on the back of Little Man without asking the others about it. The only person who could convince me not to bring her with us was Ame, but he enthusiastically got on the back of Little Man as well. Dominic sighed and got on while Sy floated down from a nearby tree onto the very back.

“Go, Little Man! We ride at dawn!”

It was the middle of the afternoon, but she still moved anyway. She wasn’t nearly as fast as the car, but the car wasn’t a wolf either, so the pros and cons evened out.

Ame seemed to be having a fun time, while Dominic was polishing his sword with a rag that I had no clue he even had.

The feeling, however, wasn’t the same. The feeling of security I had while in the car was gone now, most likely because of the attack earlier. Everybody around helped me stay calmer than I would be normally.

After around three hours of almost falling off, Ame had informed me that we were about two thirds the way there. The sun began to set as Little Man stopped and Dominic told us all to get off.

“We’re setting up camp. Little Man can guard us while we get materials. Nell, you’re on guard duty with Kaya and Little Man. Sy, you look for wood with me. And Ame, you can…”

Ame smiled cluelessly as Dominic continued.

“I know you’re our ‘leader’, but do you even know how to set up a tent?”

“I can try.”

Dominic gave Ame everything he needed to set up two large tents.

Dominic grabbed Sy’s hand and walked off into the forest, only after giving us a warning.

“The army shouldn’t know where we are anymore because our vehicle was destroyed. They probably still think we’re back near Jeti City. Even so, there are still other dangers. Be safe.”

Kaya smiled and nodded as I did the same.

“Nell!”

I got startled a little, but it was just Kaya.

“Nell, come with me. We don’t have to stay here to guard the whole time!”

I silently nodded my head as she grabbed my hand and ran into the forest.

She ran and ran for about a minute, and then stopped out of nowhere.

“What the hell?”

She seemed to be frustrated over something, but there wasn’t a single thing to be frustrated over. She peered into every tree until she gave up and yelled.

“Who’s there?! You’ve been watching us since Nell came over!”

There was no response. I didn’t feel anybody watching me. I didn’t know what the sensation of being watched felt like. Or rather, I didn’t know what the sensation of not being watched felt like.

Kaya grit her teeth and took out her dagger and stood in a defensive position.

Thirty minutes passed.

An hour passed.

An entire hour of Kaya and I standing there as she waited for somebody to come out, but it never happened.

She finally sighed and plopped down onto the floor.

“God damnit.”

“Is it gone?”

“Nope.”

The best course of action would be to return to the camp and tell everybody here. However, Kaya seemed worried that it would attack the moment she turned her back. She didn’t seem like the type to worry about that. Something had to have happened that made her like this. After all, getting attacked didn’t seem to be a rare occurrence.

Since the being was not trying to harm us, the only thing I needed to do was get it to stop watching.

I had only one idea. Inside this place, it wouldn’t be able to watch us.

“Kaya. Please stand still.”

She turned to me, confused and worried but nodded her head.

I put my hand to her forehead, and we both entered her internal world.

…

A fiery hell shot past my feet, with a fragile glass box in the middle. Small rocks rolled across the dried red soil on the floor. The air burnt my eyes enough that I had to squint them. Kaya of the internal world was inside the box, while the Kaya I knew stood there on guard. A line of figures, made out of light and darkness respectively, walked up to a hole in the box. Every time one reached the hole in the box, it would die. Kaya didn’t kill it though. When they made contact with the glass box, they would simply burn.

Internal worlds are a representation of the person. I couldn’t quite interpret this one. But that made me wonder, what came first? The internal world or the person? Was the internal world shaped by the identity of the person, or was the identity of the person shaped by the internal world? I had no clue, and I had no way to tell at this moment.

I turned to Kaya.

“Is it still watching you here?”

Kaya stood there, frozen in shock. The usually extroverted and energetic girl sat there, unable to say a single word.

“...”

I couldn’t tell what she was trying to say. At this point, tears streamed down her face. Fear incomparable to anything I had ever seen before was exuding from her eyes. She held up her hand, and pointed behind me.

I understood why she was terrified. A figure stood there. There wasn’t a single feature visible on it. If I looked at and thought of a rock, it looked like a rock. If I looked for Ame in it, I would see Ame. It was the same one I saw when I was dead. And now it was here. The familiar feeling of it watching me was as apparent as ever.

Everything was telling me it shouldn’t exist here, and at the same time, everything was telling me it should.

It spoke, and I understood the message without it ever reaching me.

“Don’t try to hide from me, Nell.”

Another figure appeared behind it after this happened. An incredibly familiar one. I could tell who it was, even though she had a similar inexplicable form as the other being. I simply envisioned her as I knew she looked, and there she was.

It was L’eau.