Chapter 10 - Shattered Glass

She stood there, watching Kaya and I. She turned and spoke to the other being.

“Original Sin. Leave. We don’t need to do this.”

The being stayed silent.

Kaya, still trembling, clutched the dagger attached to her hip and rose to her feet.

Still clearly terrified, she firmly stood there and spoke.

“Leave. I don’t want to see you ever again.”

Fire arose from around her as her dagger glowed brightly. The entire area became hotter. People could use magic better in their internal world, so it was no wonder that she was this strong.

“I will leave, but of my own volition, Kaya Koinu. Not because of you, got it? You will be seeing me again. And you, Nell. Please don’t try to hide from me again, it doesn’t work. And do what I know is best for you.”

Kaya's internal world that formed in reality shattered as she was left on the forest floor, gripping her head. Dominic instantly rushed over, followed by Ame and Sy.

Dominic grabbed my collar and yelled into the core of my being.

“Nell! What the hell happened here?!”

I couldn’t speak. My head was full and none of the thoughts could come out. Instead, it was only tears. Every time I tried to speak, my breath didn’t allow it. My mind was tied up and the words I wanted to speak were caught in it as well. It wasn’t only the event that just happened that caused this, but Dominic being angry with me added to it as well.

Ame, visibly distressed, saw my condition and spoke softly.

“It’s okay. It’ll be okay. Tell us- No. Tell me what happened.”

Ame motioned for Dominic and Sy to go to Kaya.

Despite this, I still couldn’t speak. This was my fault after all. Whoever I was, was the cause of this. It was either the fault of my own lack of self or whatever little self I had. L’eau came and hurt Kaya. Physically or not, I couldn’t accept the harm. Whoever that “thing” was, was a large part of it as well. If I had never gone into the internal world, the people watching me wouldn’t have hurt Kaya. If I never went here in the first place, I-

“Nell.”

Ame put his hands on my shoulders and looked directly into my eyes..

“You don’t have to speak. I trust that none of this is your fault.”

He had a reason to believe this was my fault. It was my fault, after all. If my only intention was to help Kaya, it wouldn’t be entirely my fault. But that wasn’t it. I used it as an excuse. A gluttonous desire caused her harm. I wanted to know more about her. I wanted to know more about more and more people, and Ame, the first person I knew, was consoling me about that. I didn’t deserve this.

“W-Wherever I go… L’eau and that thing also go. I don’t want anybody to get hurt. I don’t know the value of their life, but all I know is that I don’t want to see them getting hurt. I… I…”

Ame smiled softly.

“That’s all you need to know. That’s all that we know too.”

Huh? That had to be a lie. Ame knew almost everything. He taught me how to use magic. He saved me when I was going to die. He saved me from life as well. He is the only reason I had become a human and the only reason I was becoming “me”. With every fiber of my once- non-existent being, I wanted to be like Ame. Feelings were here for a reason. If I had the feeling to be like Ame, it had to be for a reason, and that reason was because Ame was the best person for me to be like, if that made any sense.

I still understood nothing. Ame was the only reason I could live with that; because I was understanding more and more. But if Ame didn’t know everything, just what is it I was looking for from him? The answer felt obvious, and yet I couldn’t find it.

“Also… L’eau? Was it my home country that was after your womb prison or whatever it was? If they try to hurt you, I won't hesitate to kill my own people, y’know?”

Ah. I see. That was why. It’s because he was Ame. He couldn’t beat L’eau if he tried, and I knew that. But I was comforted. All I did was smile like an idiot and nod.

Kaya, who was thankfully alive, came over to me.

“Nell! Don’t bring that thing over again! I could’ve killed it at any time though. I’m glad I know what was watching us now, but I… ”

She was clearly lying, because she was utterly terrified during it. She was also having a hard time talking about it. It was understandable considering that L’eau and that thing next to her aren’t exactly normal. It knew who Kaya and I were. I had a suspicion that L’eau was either my creator, or connected to the being that created me. I didn’t feel like it was L’eau though, because the information I received about her didn’t match up. She was incredibly powerful, but she couldn’t create me or inject knowledge into me. I hoped I was right about it not being her. And if it wasn’t her, who could it be? This would’ve been so much easier if it just told me.

Did that thing have the right to observe me? Ame said “I’ve always believed watching somebody else's pain is the greatest sin somebody can commit” before. So whatever created me didn’t have the right to observe me, right? And neither did L’eau or the God of Time, right?

Kaya, Dominic, Sy and Ame were watching me think from all around. Kaya was silent for a moment, before speaking up.

“Whatever those things are… I’ll get strong enough to kill them. I won’t let them do that again. Whatever they are trying to do, it’s not gonna work!”

She yelled up into the sky.

“Got it?!”

Her words were proud but I couldn’t tell if they were genuine or not.

I knew it was almost impossible to defeat L’eau. I at least wanted to be strong enough to protect everybody. I also wanted to be strong enough to find out the answer to every question I had, but that isn’t possible with just physical strength alone. Ame could surely tell me. But I couldn’t communicate that. That was another thing I needed to be strong enough for; communicating. I was told it was supposed to be easy, and yet my body refused to put the words out. There was a lot I needed to work on, but as long as Ame was there I felt like I could do it.

Kaya clenched her fist and walked over to Ame, seemingly preoccupied with something else on her mind.

She shakily opened her mouth and whispered regretfully.

“We need Marē. I can’t explain why.”

Ame looked slightly shocked, but replied without hesitation.

“No can do.”

Kaya raised her voice while still whispering.

“Please! Please… You are the only person I can trust to speak to Marē.”

Ame’s had a rather soft yet somber look spread across his face. Kaya never relied on anybody besides Ame, Dominic and Sy, so he knew she was more affected than she made herself out to be.

“Our last meeting with him didn’t go well. He’s an irrational person. We will only rely on him if absolutely necessary.”

Kaya fell down to her knees. I hated to see her like this, especially when it was my fault.

I walked up to her.

Trust is an important thing for all humans. If a human trusts another, that person is closely related to one's identity. I trusted Ame with all my heart. Ame felt like a larger part of my identity than even I was.

And I wanted to become part of Kaya’s identity. And Sy's. And Dominic's. There was only one way I could make them trust me and one way I could trust them.

“She won’t hurt any of you.”

“...”

“I won’t let her hurt any of you.”

“How can I trust you…?! You aren’t strong enough to fight it. I’m not. Ame isn’t. Dominic isn’t. Sy isn’t. The only person who could stand up to that thing is Marē, but he might not even be on our side.”

All I could do was put all my desires, all my hopes and all my effort into a phrase that I was barely able to push out.

“I promise. I won’t let her.”

If I let her hurt anybody, I wouldn’t be able to live. I could barely stand what she did to Kaya already. What I had said to Kaya was more than just my hopes. It was what would happen. If I couldn’t prevent it with my power, then I would use other people's power. If they couldn’t, I would use her own power. I would stop at absolutely nothing.

And she could tell.

Her demeanor slowly shifted as she got back up and smiled slightly, still worried.

“I’ll trust you. Just this once.”

“And I’ll trust you.”

She walked out of the forest and off to our meeting place.

______________________________________________________________________________

As Nell and Kaya walked to the center of the forest, a man, seemingly in the center of the world he walked in, striding through the capital city of L’eau late at night. The luminescence from the streetlights only exaggerated his own brightness. Standing at 162 cm with royal blue hair, everybody around him went silent as he walked past. The noise from the busy street faded away as all looked at him. Without a word, he walked past the people and into a royal palace. The gates opened and he entered, for today was the day he would become king.

His name was Marē Mizu, and he was known to be the strongest being in the world. The Prince of L’eau, and the one who would become king today. Guards stood still while Marē got dressed in his room. He walked out and stood in front of the throne. A throne he knew all too well. It wasn’t the throne he saw when his father died, but he knew that one wasn’t for him.

Not a single noise was heard. He stared at the people with nothing but pride on his face. No anxiety, no nervousness, for he had no reason to be. Except for one.

While he was preparing earlier, a high ranking member of his fathers army had walked into his room.

“Lord Marē.”

He responded casually.

“Yeah?”

“An immense magic has been detected from northern Jeti.”

“That’s kind of not my problem.”

The general lowered his head.

“It matches the records left behind of the first ruler. She is confirmed to be dead, so we believe it is somebody who has her power.”

Marē looked shocked, but then grinned, with a determined glare in his eyes.

“Oh really?”

With this new concern on his mind, he stood in front of the throne, and took his seat, as he was crowned the new king of L’eau- the strongest one to ever be recorded.

He whispered to himself.

“L’eau. You’re finally doing what you’ve told me?”

He lowered his head and scoffed.

“I guess I need to do as I’m told. Haha. I fucking hate this feeling. But I’ll do it for you.”

He yelled to the crowd.

“I’m king now, just as I was told to do. People of L’eau, you have now what you have yearned for for centuries. In accordance with the late first ruler, I will govern you. Jeti will soon fall.”

The people bowed.

He soon walked outside his castle, and looked up at the stars.

“Do I still have a reason to be sorry, world?”

______________________________________________________________________________

I regrouped with everybody as the sun was no longer visible. Kaya was sitting there in front of the campfire using flames to light the wood. Sy sat on the same log as her and Dominic took the one diagonal to it. There were two logs left, and Ame took the one across from Kaya.

I sat on the same log as Ame as he cleared his throat.

“So.”

The mood shifted to a serious one within an instant. Everybody looked tensely at Ame, waiting for him to speak.

“Since this will be the largest scale raid we have ever done, we need to do something in preparation first. Something very important.”

…

“We need a group name!”

Everybody sighed, and Dominic was the first to speak up.

“Ame. Why do we need a group name? Wouldn’t that bring more attention to us?”

Ame grinned.

“E-Exactly. If our group is big enough to be recognized by other countries, we have a better chance at foreign help if things go wrong. If they don’t know us, they can’t help us.”

He smiled and nodded to himself.

I knew Ame wouldn’t want a group name just to have one! He was too smart for that.

“But-”

Kaya interrupted Dominic.

“I agree! I want a group name!”

Dominic sighed, but went along with it.

Sy silently sat there and excitedly nodded before Ame spoke up again.

“Okay! Suggestions!”

Dominic was the first to speak up, but instead of giving a suggestion for a name, he suggested something else sarcastically.

“Why don’t you have any suggestions, leader?”

Ame was silent for a moment before ignoring him.

“Kaya! You’re up first!”

Kaya, without a moment of hesitation, proudly displayed her idea.

“I spent hours thinking about this. My suggestion is…”

Ame and Sy looked on eagerly.

“The Great Flame of Justice!”

“No.”

Dominic immediately shut it down.

“Okay, why don't you think of one?!”

He thought for a while, before lifting his head up and speaking.

“I believe a good name would be.. Golden Door. It’s symbolic of-”

“Next!”

Ame immediately shot down his idea and Dominic put his head back down as Sy laughed.

“Sy! You’re up next!”

“I’ve got nothing. Ask Nell.”

Ame turned his head to me. I had never come up with a name for something before, so I didn’t have much practice. That didn’t change the fact that I still had to come up with one. This was something Ame was relying on me for, so I had to put in all my effort. I couldn’t come up with anything symbolic like Dominic and I couldn’t be as proud of it as Kaya was, but I could put my identity into it. Just whatever I felt like. I stared at the flame in the campfire. The campfire we made. Together. I turned my head to Ame, and spoke.

“Eternal Flame.”

Everybody went silent as Ame stared at me. It felt as if the world froze, only to get unfrozen moments later when he spoke.

“Perfect!”

It wasn’t perfect in my eyes, but as long as Ame thought so it was good enough. I still couldn’t be proud of it though. I had to ask him.

“I don’t really think it’s that good.”

The question in my head came out as a statement.

Ame replied without hesitation.

“I think it’s perfect.”

“...Why?”

“Because I could tell you made it.”

I unconsciously smiled. Suddenly, I was able to feel a little bit more proud of the name. And a little bit more proud of whatever I was.