Chapter 10:

Camryn: Painful Past 01

New Leaf!

And so, I’ve started living with Mr Morales. Bookmark here

After welcoming me, he went back to working on his laptop on the table while I went back to the room to recollect myself. To be honest, I found Mr Morales to be a bit weird — I can’t form an opinion of him. During our conversation, he looked mad at me but he didn’t feel mad. He seemed apathetic, but if that was the case, why was he so stubborn in rejecting my departure?Bookmark here

Regardless, it looks like I’m living with him for now. I leaned to my side and laid on my side on the bed.Bookmark here

When I think about my situation, a shiver runs across my body. I felt… guilty. Nothing in this world is free — I knew the truth all too well. This… This can’t be Mr Morales' and my exchange. That’s right, I can’t allow things to be like this. Bookmark here

I let out a sigh.Bookmark here

I’ve actually had experiences like this one in the past. At times when it would be physically detrimental, usually because of the weather, I would seek asylum. I would continuously hope for good weather because looking for shelter is one of the most terrible ordeals for me.Bookmark here

When sleeping in run-down shacks or abandoned buildings or makeshift tents weren’t an option, I’d be forced to ask to stay at strangers’ houses. Or course, no sane person would allow a stranger to stay at their house if they ask, so I’d have to push them into agreeing. How? S-seduce them… I know, I’m a disgusting person. Whenever I found a suitable victim — and by suitable, I mean people who look like they are single and lonely — I’d tell them things similar to what I said to Mr Morales, and if I’m lucky, they’d take me home with them. I’d stay there for a day or two, but in exchange, I’d have to… fulfil their sexual desires… People are weak animals who are driven by their lust, and I have to take advantage of that.Bookmark here

However, I’ve failed or my stays have been stopped prematurely many times. And the reason isn’t that I’m a minor; no, I can look adult-like and I always lie about my age. No, I think the reason is that I can’t completely satisfy some people. I gave that warning to Mr Morales when I tried to cast my “magic” on him — I said, “We absolutely cannot go that far.” When I said that, I meant that we cannot have… coitus… copulation… the thing that occurs between loving mommies and daddies… Sex, I mean sex! We cannot have sex. I endure orally pleasing people and doing anything lewd, but intercourse was where I drew the line! Orally pleasing people was what I mostly did — maybe that led to the vile taste that appears every time I eat something.Bookmark here

Thinking about this made me sad, but I was alone in this room so no one could see me.Bookmark here

To be honest, I don’t know why I don't want to lose my virginity. It’s confusing, especially when you consider that I’ve lived… there… Hm… what does it mean for one to lose their chastity; why do people have sex? If I had to answer, it’s because they found the person they truly love and they only want to do that with the person they love, trust, and care for the most — again, considering that I’ve lived… there, why was that my answer? Gah! I just don’t know why I'm trying to stay chaste. Anyways, that isn’t what I should be thinking about.Bookmark here

Nothing in this world is free — I knew the truth all too well. Since that is the truth, I seriously need to think of something to do for Mr Morales.Bookmark here

I sat up and thought as I stroked my chin. Mr Morales… What can I do for him? Luckily for me, I think I can safely conclude that he doesn’t want me to do any sexual favours — judging by what happened last night, the man has no libido. I think — actually, I’ll keep “doing anything sexual for him” on the list, but at the very bottom.Bookmark here

Then, how can I repay him? Being a sex toy is all I’m good at doing — that’s always been the truth. Hm…Bookmark here

As I was thinking, I heard a knock at the door.Bookmark here

“O-oh. Um… yes?”Bookmark here

Mr Morales opened the door. He wasn’t wearing his loungewear and was wearing a suit similar to the one he was wearing yesterday.Bookmark here

“Sorry, Camryn. I have to take care of something at my work.”Bookmark here

“Oh?”Bookmark here

“Sorry, it was sudden. For lunch, please help yourself to anything you find in my refrigerator; although I cannot guarantee that you will enjoy it.”Bookmark here

“Huh? Oh, no, no, it’s fine. Don’t worry, I’m not really a picky eater.”Bookmark here

That is an acquired skill.Bookmark here

“I see. Well, I will most likely be back in the evening. Goodbye.”Bookmark here

“Oh, yeah. See ya!”Bookmark here

I watched as Mr Morales closed the door and left for work.Bookmark here

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Aha! That’s it.Bookmark here

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