Chapter 4

“Oh my God, I’m actually going to kill him.” Says River, as he takes in the swollen black eye which Rain was attempting to hide behind a hood. He had been hoping to sneak past his older brother unnoticed, but apparently that plan was about as brilliant as his first day back at school. “What happened?” River asks, his voice tight with anger. “It was Lester, right?”

"Yeah. He, um…blamed me for what happened in the summer.” Rain bites his lip, “But it’s fine, it doesn’t matter.” River’s fists clench at his sides, and he grits his teeth, as though holding back a scream. A storm of blue fury is brewing in his eyes.

"You’re not going to do anything stupid, are you?” Rain says, his voice a little too high.

River drums a fist against the edge of the table, seething, “I’m going to deal with him. Don’t worry about it.”

Rain shakes his head frantically, "No! Don’t do that, you’ll make it worse!” He protests. Fighting back makes everything worse.

"Rain-”

"Please, just leave it, River.” He sighs wearily. A deep frown creases his brother’s forehead.

“Kieran!” He bellows, skidding across the hall and into the kitchen to shove his way through the back door. “Come and give me permission to punch someone into next week!”

"What? No-” Rain stutters a protest, scrambling for the kitchen. If River goes stirring things up, it's going to end in blood and bruises and broken bones. He catches his brother’s sleeve, a glower creasing his black eye painfully. "I said leave it!”

River matches his stare blade for blade and it withers Rain’s resolve just a little, "NO. WAY."

'What’s all this about smacking people?” Kieran strides into the kitchen, wearing a pair of fluorescent green wellington boots and old jeans that are streaked with mud, carrying a plastic trowel.

River rolls his eyes, “Have you been deconstructing the garden again, David Attenborough?”

Folding his arms at his eldest son, Kieran replies, “Firstly, Sir David Attenborough is NOT a gardener. Secondly, I’ll have you know that in the event of an apocalypse, you’ll be living off my parsnips and potatoes, so if I were you- Oh my god, Rain! What’s wrong with your face!” He drops the trowel in shock and it lands in their dog's water bowl with a huge clatter. Kieran practically flies across the room to examine the plum-coloured eye socket that Rain is currently sporting, and unhelpfully he decides to give it a prod.

"OW! Jeez, Kieran, leave it!” He has to resist the urge to slap his father’s hand out of the way. “It’s not a big deal.”

"Son,” Kieran gives him a stern look, “Someone has punched your face in. If that’s not a ‘big deal’ I don’t know what is! I’m phoning the school!” He declares decisively, brandishing his phone in the air as though leading the charge into battle. Rain snatches it before he can start dialling the number.

“They already know.” He sighs, “Lester’s been suspended for tomorrow.”

Kieran’s eyes widen with surprise, "Lester? Lester Carmichael? He did this to you?”

"Of course he did.” River growls, “Everyone knows that Lester went pyscho after Zoe-” he cuts himself off and stares at the kitchen table, "After what happened in the summer.” It’s an unspoken rule that none of them actually say it. Zoe is gone. She’s dead. She drowned, and it was horrible and tragic and unfair. They never say it how it really is.

“But I spoke to him.” Kieran frowns, "After he tried to get the police to arrest Rain. I told him that if he came near my son again, he’d be sorry.”

River shakes his head solemnly, “Dad, I hate to break it to you, but you’re about as intimidating as a Labrador puppy. Of course he didn’t take you threatening him seriously.”

"Well, this needs to be sorted out. If Lester carries on like this we might have to get the police involved, and-”

"I’ve told you, it doesn’t matter!” Rain snaps, interrupting Kieran. “Both of you, just leave it!”

Turning on his heel, and ignoring River calling after him, he takes the stairs two and a time, storms into his room and slams the door behind him. The force of it sends a precarious pile of papers toppling down from their perch on his shelf. They scatter across the carpet, like the petals of a dying flower, and one in particular catches his eye as it lands at his feet. It’s an old photograph, a little faded and missing the top left corner, but Rain can remember ever detail of the day it was taken as vividly as if it were yesterday...

Five years ago now, he, River, Zoe and Lester had managed to beg a trip the theme park off their respective parents, and were allowed to go around all by themselves, because River had just turned thirteen, which is apparently deemed old enough to look after yourself and three younger kids. Before the four of them had set off, Henry insisted on taking a photo, with a proper camera that he’d brought along specially. Lester had given River a piggyback- despite being younger he was exactly eleven centimetres taller- and almost dropped him in a puddle, which made Rain snort with laughter. Zoe had swiped River’s cap off his head, perching it at a jaunty angle over her messy blonde plaits, before sticking a hand behind Rain’s head to give him a pair of rabbit ears. They were all grinning from ear to ear with anticipation as they waited for Henry to hurry up and take the photo. The second that the camera clicked, they scattered and bounded away into the theme park without looking back. They’d been on all of the biggest rides, even though it meant waiting in line for hours, and Lester managed to win a huge pink elephant from a claw machine, which he gave to his sister. River hadn’t been at all happy about it, because he’d bet Lester half of his spending money that the machines were rigged and it would be impossible to get anything. Rain was having a great day, until he came out of the toilet block and discovered that the other three were nowhere to be seen. His immediate response was to completely panic and start running around the theme park like a headless chicken, and after doing this for a whole forty-three minutes, he came to an halt beside the ice cream stand, plonked himself down on the nearest bench and decided to accept his fate. So when Lester came pounding around the corner, looking frantic, Rain had never been so relieved to see anyone in his life. In fact, he was so pleased that he ran across the huge, crowded courtyard as fast as his weary legs could carry him, and barrelled into Lester with such enthusiasm that he came close to knocking him over. Once they had reunited with Zoe, and a guilty-looking River, the two older boys had a rather heated conversation about who’s fault it really was that Rain had got lost, while he and Zoe played catch with the massive plush elephant. Eventually, on Zoe’s orders, the four of them swore a solemn pinky-promise not to tell their parents about Rain’s ‘adventure.’ With that all cleared up, they made their way back to the ice cream stand, where Lester ordered four double-scoop honeycomb ice creams with the remainder of River’s cash. He even gave the change to Rain as compensation for abandoning him. When they traipsed into the car park, only a few minutes before the place was due to close, the four of them were utterly exhausted, but agreed that it was the ‘funnest trip ever’ and that they simply had to go again. They never did.

Rain stares down at the photo, his eyes burning. Slowly, he reaches down and picks it up in one hand, just to look at it for a moment longer. Then he lifts his other hand, grabs the ripped corner, and in a single, swift movement, tears the picture in two. Again, and again, and again. Until all that’s left are fragments. He doesn’t want remember.