A Breath of Nostalgia

“Come on Paz, no need to be shy,” Hiding behind her leg, my mother patted my head urging me to introduce myself to the kid in front of me. Noticing my grip on her only tightened, she knelt down in front of me and brushed my hair.

“You can do this,” she whispered to me, smiling ever so gently. “We’ve practiced this a gazillion times, sweetie. I believe in you.”

“I’m sorry, he’s a nervous boy,” My mom looked to her guest as she held onto me. “He used to get picked on in kindergarten.”

My mom had invited the neighbor and her daughter over to make friends with me. The guest looked at me with understanding eyes, telling me to take my time. Her daughter on the other hand, had eyes filled with enthusiasm, begging me to speak, excited to hear what would come out of my lips. With my limbs shaking, I nodded, my eyes tightly glued to the living room carpet.

“I’m Paz. I’m seven years old.” I fiddled with my foot. “My birthday is on December 8. My name came from the gemstone, topaz. I like video games.”

“A gemstone!” The girl in front of me grabbed both my cheeks forcing me to look at her innocent smile reaching from ear to ear. She looked back to her mother sitting on the sofa. “Mom! Can I keep him?!”

She glanced to my mother who nodded at her. She gave a tender smile as she drank a cup of tea. “Sure thing, dearie.”

Without a moment’s hesitation, the girl, giggling her heart out, pulled me by the hand and out of the house, across the street. I had not noticed but despite being nervous a few minutes ago, I had already been smiling, too. Was it because her joy was contagious? Or was it because of the touch of a hand I did not know of?

“We’re not going to play outside?” I was confused as to why she brought me to their home.

“No, silly!” She giggled with her twin tails dancing as vibrantly as she was. “You said you liked video games, right?! So, let’s play video games! Why would we go outside when it’s so hot?!”

She fidgeted with a console gathering dust in a drawer in their living room under the television set. She talked and talked about how she had always wanted to play with it, but never had a reason to. When she lost, when she won, when she failed and when she succeeded, she never stopped laughing. It was surreal.

She chuckled as she pointed out our names were both gemstones. An entire existence who did nothing but smile and make me smile appeared out of nowhere, grabbed me by the hand and changed everything.

Vivid images would appear whenever I saw kids running out and about, their footsteps on asphalt as they ran across the street, the feet on grass as they walked in the park. There were no bruises on my skin and yet I felt pain where I had been punched and kicked before. I used to.

That was an old memory. As I looked out the window, at a dimly lit street where the sun had yet to rise. While everyone else was either sleeping or starting to prepare for school, a girl whose short black hair was jumping as ecstatically as her skipping was as she crossed the street, ringing our doorbell. For some odd reason, the hand she held all those years ago felt warm and comforting today.

“You’re early today.” My mornings would always be greeted with her giggling which had not changed. I was often late when she’d come pick me up, so this was a surprise to her.

“I thought I’d try the Amethyst routine.” I played with my phone as we walked to school. “It sucks.”

Our houses were close to the academy; we’d always take our time. We’d each have our own pace. I always toyed with my phone, I’d read manga, a novel or play a game even. Amethyst would run, skip, or walk, her arms flailing about. She would pull on my vest when we’d cross a street, when I’m about to bump into a wall, a lamppost, or a sign.

She was walking in front of me. Dawn had broken, and a faint auburn hue enveloped her as she laughed at how slow I was, not a care in the world about the people who stared or passed by. She had her own world, and she was not afraid to dance in it.

She giggled as I stared at her. With a few big steps, she put her face up to mine, causing me to back away remembering what had happened a few days ago.

“You thinking about how gorgeous I am?” Her eyes squinting, she grinned.

I closed my eyes as I chuckled on my own. I would never want this to change.

“Nah, I was thinking about how lucky I am to have you as a friend.” You’re beyond precious to me.

I didn’t know why, but she was pouting the entire way to school.