I Am a Person Who Is Not "Dying Of Curiosity"

It took me a few seconds to think of something that wouldn't upset him further, but wouldn't also hurt his pride, let alone prompt further questions.

"After all, I owe you such a large debt that I'll surely be paying it off for a very long time, so I have to be there somewhere."

Renet smiled faintly, partly with relief, partly with disappointment, as if this wasn't the answer he'd expected, but I guess he was tired of the conversation too, so we walked the rest of the day in silence.

I didn't look around the landscape as much anymore; I hoped we'd cover as much ground as possible, even with my condition. We passed two villages, but neither seemed particularly interested in us. The people were busy with their own affairs, and we didn't need anything specific from them. However, I can't say I was happy when we were finally able to sit by a fire in a small grove, a short distance from the main road that led us to the capital. Renet claimed it would be better this way because then there was less chance that a military patrol would pass by, which would only cause unnecessary problems. I didn't argue; I trusted him, though I still occasionally glanced at him suspiciously.

The more I thought about it, the more I wondered about his calmness about the coming war. In his tattered clothes, he seemed like a nobody, and for a moment he sounded as if he had some connections or contacts to speak about it with such certainty. The perspective from which he spoke about the local history hadn't really caught my attention before. Everything seemed to be in order, but my instincts told me something wasn't adding up, but I couldn't quite place which sentences, words, or tone.

The conclusion was that I couldn't sleep, even though I'd needed so little up to that point. The fire was warm, and Renet was sitting on the other side, and unlike me, he wasn't even planning to lie down. He claimed he wasn't tired or hungry because, of course, he'd barely touched his food. Something was still missing, and not just here, but also a longing for something from my previous life and the world. The blanket and the fire weren't enough; I longed for human warmth, for someone close, family, or a loved one. I tried hard to convince myself I didn't need it, even though with Rent in sight, I wanted to ask him to come over, lie down next to me, and simply hug me.

I closed my eyes to ward off these temptations and prevent myself from accidentally making it happen. Finally, sleep came, and in it, just like that, it happened. And despite sleeping on the ground in an unfamiliar world, for the first time in years, I felt completely relaxed and had a good night's sleep. I only wish it had actually happened. Everything would have been easier if I hadn't liked Renet so damn much.

When I woke up, he was gone again, his blanket lying beside me. I wondered what was going on when he emerged from behind the thick line of bushes.

"What happened?" I asked, handing him his belongings. He accepted, hiding his face, flushed with shame.

"I got up early and went to look around, wrapping you in an extra layer so you wouldn't freeze. It can still be chilly in the morning," he explained frantically, changing the subject. "There's a lake nearby, before we move on…"

"Swimming in the lake?"

"Until we reach our destination, there's little chance of the luxuries we had the day before yesterday."

This option was tempting for two reasons. I'd lived in the city my whole life, and somehow I hadn't been drawn to going to the seaside as a child. Besides, my parents didn't have much time for it either, and later I'd given up. Because in the meantime, I'd decided that since I'd been given a chance at a second life here, not on the terms I'd expected, I'd decided to change. Decision, change, and adaptation - is my motto. And one of those decisions was awakening a desire to try new things, something I hadn't wanted to know about before, but he knew where it was. And on the other hand, who wouldn't jump at such a chance when your crush was going to accompany you? I admit I'm almost thirty years old, but my mind sometimes operates in teenager mode.

"Lead the way! I jumped to my feet and quickly started packing and cleaning up after our campsite." Renet laughed, but he helped me without hesitation.

This lake was quite large, and I wondered how I'd missed it before. Maybe I just hadn't looked in that direction, so captivated by the agricultural landscape, or maybe it was hidden from view from that side. I didn't know. The water beckoned me to get in. It might not have been the warmest, but it was so crystal clear, I felt like I'd sully the place by disturbing the calm surface with my foot. I wanted to strip off and dive right in, but I realized I wasn't alone and had already started unlacing my life jacket. It was a good thing it took me a while, even though I'd tied it rather carelessly. I looked back at Renet, who was looking at me and then at the ground, not knowing what to do with himself. I tried to convince myself we hadn't thought about the practical aspects, like we didn't have towels or swimming trunks, but then again, I was in a damn fantasy world filled with magic, kings, and dragon-men. Why bother with such trivialities?

I figured we only live once, stripped off my clothes, and ran to the water. Well, I was more of a limp, but I wanted to get in as quickly as possible. It was getting warm, and we would have dried off anyway, but it would probably take less time putting dry clothes on a wet body than the other way around. Renet finally caught on and soon joined me, but he was careful not to get the headscarf wet, which he wasn't about to throw away, but I didn't want to ask him about it. He clearly had his reasons for not taking it off, which didn't mean I wasn't curious. I just had a feeling it was a topic I shouldn't bring up.

To be honest with myself, I really wish this was a date, a damn awkward one, but still a date. Never mind fireworks and amusement parks, simplicity is key, I chuckled to myself as I climbed out of the water. I glanced back at Renet, who finally seemed relaxed. It was good to see him like this. I quickly dressed, almost tripping over trying to put on my pants, and mentally cursing myself for hurting my ankle. At least it wasn't as serious as the other one… I immediately dismissed the memories the thought brought back. I lay down on the sand for a moment, which wasn't a very smart idea right after a swim, but I was in a somber mood. So, I covered my eyes with my hand and soaked up the sun. Like a fool, I'd missed seeing Renet emerge from the water. I was loving my luck.