Verse 43: "The Truth"

“Stop! Stop, stop now!” I said forcefully. “Yes. I already know about him.” I ran my hands through my hair, closed my eyes, and sighed.
          “Well then I think you can put the pieces together.” Albert said calmly.
          I didn’t care. It didn't matter if God thought that I was ‘evil.' It wasn't as if he had ever done anything about it. 
          I started laughing.
          “Uh, Shinko?” Albert began to sound concerned.
          I doubled over laughing and grabbed my stomach. Albert’s eyes went wide and he knelt down next to me, then placed a hand on my back.
          “Shinko, can you hear me?”
          I laughed so hard I started to cry.
          “God, please, take this demon out of Shinko! Cast it out in your–”
          I started wheezing from how hard I was laughing. The old moron was praying for me to be freed from a demon, and I couldn't believe it.
          “Albert, a-are you s-s-seriously praying for me?!” I forced the words out while laughing.
          The old rabbit faunid kept praying. It was almost too hilarious.
          “God, cast out this demon of insanity–”
          I wasn’t insane; I was laughing because I understood what Albert was talking about. I expected him to stop praying after a few moments, but he didn't.
          As long as I kept laughing, he kept praying. A part of me wondered how long I could have strung him along, but eventually his prayers ceased being funny and became annoying.
          I stopped laughing. Albert didn’t stop praying.
          “Stop.” I said forcefully.
          Albert didn’t shut up.
          “Albert, I’m not laughing anymore. You can stop praying now.”
          He muttered out a few more words, ended with an ‘amen,’ then made eye contact with me.
          “Shinko Inori, is that you?”
          “Yes! It was always me Albert! I’m not demon-possessed or anything stupid like that.” I stood up and forced his hand off my back. “I’m perfectly fine.”
          Albert looked distraught.
          “Shinko, I don’t think you’re fi–”
          “I’m fine! I’m better than fine! And you want to know why?”
          I smiled maniacally at Albert. He flinched.
          “Because I realized that God needs me.” I felt my blood run hot as I spoke.
          A look of abject horror began to spread across Albert’s face.
          “N-no, Shinko that’s not tru–”
          “It is true! Think about it!” I laughed again. “If–if it wasn’t for me, Vivian wouldn’t be ‘saved!’ If I hadn’t been there, Niels would still be stuck in Clearwood!”
          Albert went from looking horrified to upset. He stood, and his ears shot straight up.
          “Shinko, that’s not how any of this works!” He said forcefully.
          “Really?! Is that so, Mr. Albert Himmel?!”
          “Yes! God doesn’t–”
          “Prove it! Prove it you old rabbit!” I laughed. “Because from where I’m standing, it looks like I have a very important role in this story! It looks like, without me, none of what’s happened to anyone I’ve met would have happened! God needs me!”
          “Enough!” Albert spoke with the force of a crumbling mountain.
          I shut my mouth and looked at him. His ears were standing; his eyes were narrowed; his hands were at his sides.
          “Listen up sunshine; the world doesn’t revolve around you.” He sounded genuinely angry at me. “God doesn’t need anyone.”
          “Yes he does.” I smiled. “He needs me. You say that God keeps us around because of ‘mercy.’ I say that he keeps us around because he needs us.” I shrugged. “It’s the only conclusion that makes any logical sense. I mean, if we’re evil and he’s good, then why would he let us live unless he needs us for something?”
          Albert’s anger faded immediately, and was replaced by that same look of disappointment that Vivian had given me earlier that same day.
          “Why are you looking at me like that old man?!” I shouted as loud as I could.
          He didn’t flinch; instead, he started to cry.
          “What, not used to having your faith dismantled?” I said strongly. “Listen, I didn’t prove God doesn’t exist! If anything, what I said is perfectly in line with what you believe! It’s just a little different. A little more logical.”
          In the near silence of the starry hilltop, the old man started weeping.
          “What the heck are you crying about?!” I stomped towards him. “I believe that God exists now! Why aren’t you happy?! Isn’t this what you wanted?!”
          He fell to his knees and his ears went limp; then, almost inaudibly, he spoke.
          “God is merciful. God is loving. God is just.” He looked up at me, tears flowing freely from his old, worn eyes. “God is holy. Holy. Holy.”
          I huffed.
          “And in order to… to let us be near him and cleanse us of our sinful nature, he sent his s-s-son–” He was choking up.
          “Shut up already!”
          He went quiet.
          “God doesn’t love us. God doesn’t really have mercy on us. God isn’t even just.” I said calmly. “God needs us.”
          Albert avoided looking at me.
          “So quit crying. Isn’t it wonderful to be needed?” I smiled sincerely at Albert. “God may not love us or be merciful to us, but isn’t it wonderful to know that he can’t just get rid of us?”
          Albert cried for a few more moments. Eventually, he stood up and wiped the tears away. He looked at me, still wearing that disappointed expression.
          “May God have mercy on you, Shinko Inori.”
          Without another word, he walked past me slowly. I watched as he went down the hillside for a little while, stopped at the hole that was covered by grass, then climbed down the ladder in it and disappeared from sight.
          I turned my gaze to the sky and the stars. I smiled, then began walking towards the path where Vivian, Niels, and Elisa were camping. Kuzges was only two or three days away. When I reached our makeshift camp on the road, I quietly crept into the tent they had pitched for me, laid down on my bedroll, and closed my eyes.
          That night, I slept like I was resting on the most comfortable bed in the world.

Edited on 09/19/25