Verse 44: "Guilty of Pride"

We all woke up around the same time. We didn’t say much as we packed up our supplies and prepared to keep heading towards Kuzges, but then Niels spoke.
          “Shinko, where’s that old faunid? We didn’t get to thank him for his help.”
          I smirked.
          “He and I talked late into the night; I offered him some money, but he didn’t accept it. He said that ‘talking with me was payment enough’ or something like that.” I looked down the path.
          “Where’d he go? I don’t see any buildings around here?”
          I tilted my head back and forth, not looking at Niels.
          “He was a fellow traveler. Vivian and I were lucky to catch up to him while he was taking a break yesterday. After we finished talking, he got all his supplies together and went down the road.” I smiled at Niels. “Maybe we’ll see him in Kuzges. He said he was going there.”
          “Huh. He was traveling? I didn’t see him wearing a pack or anything like that.” Niels said, then he snapped his fingers. “Oh, he must be a wizard!”
          I nodded, but didn’t say anything. Elisa crossed her arms and her tail flicked back and forth.
          “What he was doing with that paste he made felt like alchemy though.” She said coolly.
          “People can be both wizards and alchemists.” Niels replied. “I mean, I did alchemy and now I’m trying to become a wizard. I’ll have to try and find him at Kuzges.”
          “That sounds like a plan. Anything else we need to clear up?” I asked while glancing over towards the hill where I knew Albert lived.
          “I don’t think so.” Niels said thoughtfully. “What about you two?”
          Vivian and Elisa said nothing.
          “Then we’re off.” Niels said as he started walking down the path again.
          The day of travel went by quickly. A few minutes after lunch, Elisa slowed down a little bit so that she was standing next to me instead of in front of me like Niels had planned for us to do yesterday.
          “Hey Shinko, are you going to apologize to Vivian today or what?”
          “Apologize?” I asked, confused.
          “Yeah, for making her cry yesterday.”
          I felt my breath catch in my throat.
          “Oh, uh, how much of that argument did you and Niels hear?” I asked, concerned.
          “Not very much, but I did hear you call her an idiot, and I saw her crying.” Elisa said as she ran her tongue over the new gap in her fangs. “So it looked like you were being a jerk. As for what Niels heard, you should ask him. But between the two of us, I think it’s pretty obvious why I would’ve heard more than him.”
          She pointed at her cat ears and flicked them playfully. The left ear had a nick in it that was easily spotted. I peered over my shoulder at Vivian. She was walking behind me and Elisa, and looked listless. I kicked at a spot of dirt on the ground.
          “You’re right. Let me go and make up with her.” I said calmly and started slowing down.
          “Good.” Elisa said. “You’re not like those other priests I’ve met.”
          “Really?” I stopped slowing down to listen to what Elisa had to say.
          “Yeah. They don’t apologize for anything.” She crossed her arms and frowned. “So it’s nice to see you being different.”
          “Hmm.” I smiled at her compliment. “Thank you, Elisa.”
          When she nodded and moved forward to her position behind Niels, I slowed down to reach Vivian. She looked at me timidly as I approached.
          “Vivian, I’d like to apologize for what I said yesterday.” I said calmly. “I was completely out of line. Please forgive me.”
          She raised her head, seemingly surprised about what I was saying.
          “W-wait, really?” She exclaimed softly. “You’re sorry?”
          Deep down, I didn’t really feel that bad.
          “Of course I’m sorry. I belittled you and spoke those harsh words to you with the sole purpose of bringing you down. What I did was wrong and I hope you’ll be able to forgive me for it.”
          Vivian appeared thoughtful for a few moments.
          “Shinko, I’m glad you’re apologizing, but… I’m kind of worried about you.” She pulled her hood down and let her hair fall over her shoulders as she looked at me sincerely.
          “W–huh?”
          “You, um…” She rubbed her right shoulder with her left hand. “You sound like you don’t believe in God.”
          “Oh, that.” I waved my hand at her dismissively. “That was just a moment of doubt for me. Every believer struggles with moments of doubt, you know? Sorry for being so mean while I was experiencing mine.”
          She reached under her cloak and pulled out the same knife I’d seen her use to threaten me when we first met. She looked at it carefully.
          “Shinko, if you’re… I mean, I know you’re the priest but, if you ever have a moment of doubt, I want to… I want to be able to help you. The same way you helped me.” She looked back at me. “I know that you told me God was the one who did the saving and all that stuff, but I remember hearing a while ago that it was good for believers to, well, to pray together about things they were having trouble with.”
          She closed her eyes and smiled at me earnestly. Her smile was so pure and honest that I couldn’t look at it without feeling guilty.
          “So yes, I forgive you Shinko, and I’m sorry for threatening you with this knife the first time we met.” Her smile weakened slightly and her voice began to sound awkward. “I only just now realized that I never formally apologized for that. So would you please forgive me?”
          I made eye contact with her.
          “P-please stop smiling like that.”
          She blinked rapidly and tilted her head.
          “What? Why, did I do something wrong?” She asked, concerned.
          “N-no, just, please stop looking at me like that.” I turned away and sped up so that I could get back to my spot in Niels’ marching order.
          “W-wait, Shinko, what did I say?” She pressed, and I heard her footsteps pick up behind me.
          “Stop talking. Please.” I said quickly.
          I heard Vivian right behind me. I could see the shadow of her hand hovering over my shoulder as the sun slowly began its descent from high noon behind us. Before she touched my shoulder, I saw her shadow clench its fist, then go back to her side. A few moments later, she went back to her spot in the marching order.
          I allowed myself to relax slightly. Her smile had made me feel uncomfortable. I looked over my shoulder again. She was walking behind me calmly once more. My hands wandered to my stomach and held it softly. After doing that for a few moments, the discomfort I felt from having spoken to her disappeared.
          The sun fell lower and lower in the sky as we traveled until it was time for us to camp again. I helped Niels prepare our rations for the night.
          “We made good time today.” He said, sounding a little excited. “If we keep up this pace, we’ll reach Kuzges by tomorrow night.”
          I realized that tomorrow might be my last full day with the three of them if my theory about the wizards being able to send me back to my home turned out to be correct. Once we finished setting up the fire, Niels grabbed the rations and began preparing them for the fire. When they were ready, I stepped forward.
          “Niels, do you mind if I pray over the meal?”
          Niels looked a little caught off-guard, but then he smiled.
          “Sounds alright to me. Might be the last prayer you get to make for a little while though; they enforce the church pact pretty strictly in Kuzges.”
          “Yes, well, thank you for letting me do this.” I knelt over the rations and put my hands together.
          As I did, Niels, Elisa, and Vivian all did the same thing, then they closed their eyes. I looked over them and smiled. Albert was wrong. God had needed me; after all, who was the one who had managed to get the three of them to pray together over their meal?
          It was me.
          “Dear God, thank you for getting us this far safely. Please aid us in this last leg of our journey. Help us reach Kuzges safely, and help us do what we went there to do safely and quickly. Amen.”

Edited on 09/19/25