Mai

It was almost afternoon when she left Futaba’s place on the 23rd. She had pushed back the prospect of leaving as much as possible, to avoid being alone. Because once she was, she was overwhelmed by anxiety again, just as she had feared. Questions ran rampant through her head: What if Sakuta would rather break up with her than risk her life again? What if she couldn’t solve the problem? Such extreme doubts were unusual for her, but that only lead to them hitting even harder than they otherwise would have. She barely managed to find the way back that she came through yesterday together with Sakuta. Every few steps, she remembered a random thing about yesterday’s journey to Futaba’s house. A snarky comment, an honest compliment, it didn’t matter. All of them only served as fuel for her worries. She loved him beyond everything. Losing him was worse than everything else she could imagine.
Finally, she closed the door behind her. As soon as she was shut off from the public eye, tears started rolling over her face, her legs gave in under her. She didn’t know how long she was sitting there and only moved when the door started pressing against her back. It was Nodoka coming back from her concert.
“Sorry that I’m so late! We had a bit of a celebration after-“, Mai’s little sister tried to say but stopped, as soon as she saw Mai on the floor. Mai looked back up to her, through the wet filter of her tears. She imagined how she might look like to her younger sister, but before she could do anything, Nodoka rushed in and closed her in a tight hug. Her warmth comforted Mai and the tears of which she thought she had none left, started rolling again. Less desperate this time.
“Wouldn’t have thought to be in such a state in front of my little sister one day”, Mai finally said. Her voice was still shaky, but she managed to put the bit of dry humour in, she needed.
Even without seeing her face, she felt the slight smile on Nodoka’s lips before she answered: “You gave me a real scare just now. Can you stand up?”
Mai nodded and together they went into the kitchen. The older sister sat at the table explaining what happened while the younger prepared a cup of coffee for both.

"It looks like when it comes to these things you are just as clueless as the rest of us", sighed Nodoka.
Before Mai could say anything to it, Nodoka continued: “Do you really think Sakuta would give you up over that? Are you sure that we know the same guy? The guy who told you he loves you every day for an entire month? The guy that travelled hours at night to make up with you? He’s probably just as scared as you are now. You are annoyingly perfect for each other, you know? You’re going to have to try a lot harder if you want to shake him off. You could hide on the Moon, and he’d still come flying to find you!”
After a moment of silence neither of them could hold in their laughter anymore. Mai, feeling relieved now, wiped her tears off her face and regained control of her emotions.
“Now, besides for Sakuta, I know one other person who doesn’t understand the concept of ‘impossible’, and right now I’m telling her to cheer up and give her boyfriend the push he needs to get through this together!”
“Thank you, Nodoka”, she said, “I really needed that”
“No problem. Can’t pass on the chance to lecture the Mai Sakurajima”

She still needed to make preparations before she could go over. Taking a shower and cleaning her face until it looked less destroyed were only two of them. Finally, she managed to leave her apartment and walk the short distance to the Azusagawa residence. One quick look on her phone to check for any important messages, then she turned it off. There was nothing, absolutely nothing, that would distract her now. The last thing she saw before the screen turned black, leaving her in the night, was the time. 18:31. Then she rang the doorbell.
“Coming!”, came the muffled sound of Kaede from the other side. It was still a bit weird for Mai to hear the new tone she spoke in. Everything down to the melody of her words sounded a bit different, just enough to throw her off. She didn’t even want to imagine how hard it must’ve been for Sakuta to hide the shock he felt.
The door opened and Mai saw Kaede standing in the doorway. She wore casual clothing, a skirt at knee length with leggings under it and a jacket to keep the cold of winter away.
“Come in”, Sakuta’s sister continued, “He’s in his room. I hope you can sort things out”
“I hope so too”
It was only a short exchange. The new Kaede was a bit brasher than the old one, certainly not as shy. Mai looked at her leaving towards the elevator before she entered the apartment.

The door to Sakuta’s room was still open, and the light was shining. But as soon as she entered the room, Mai knew that it wasn’t Sakuta who had turned the lights on. He was laying on his bed, contracted into a foetal position. It looked like he hadn't moved much for hours, but at least he wore his sleeping clothes, so he did something afterf they separated themselves.
“Mai, I-”, he tried to start the conversation. But Mai didn’t plan on escalating it that quickly. She needed him as awake as possible.
“Later, Sakuta. For now, I’d like you to take a bath.”
Without waiting much, she went over to him and pulled him up on his feet. Without resistance he let himself be dragged to the bathroom, were at least some of his spirits seemed to come back.
“You got this?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’m not that hopeless”, answered Sakuta.
“I’ll make us some tea and wait in your room, okay?”
Now it was his turn to nod. Thusly satisfied, Mai left the bathroom, and went into the kitchen to set up some water for the tea. While it was boiling, she searched for some clean clothes in Sakuta’s wardrobe and put them in front of the bathroom door. Next on the list was letting some fresh air into Sakuta’s room. As direly needed as the fresh clothes. Finally, she set up the tea and brought the mugs into the room, putting it on the small desk. A flash of memory shot through her mind, of their first studying session together. It was followed by a slight smile and then a determined nodding. She wouldn’t let this fall apart so easily.

It took a while for Sakuta to come back into the room. Just in time for the tea still being hot enough. Mai awaited him, sitting at the small table. He didn’t look much better, but at least he was properly awake now. Some time passed; the silence before the storm. No one said anything - they just drank their tea silently.
“Sakuta-”, she wanted to begin, but her boyfriend cut her short: “I’m sorry, Mai. I know I shouldn’t have run away that evening. It was just... I was scared. I am still scared. And I don’t know what to do”
Those words were so full of honesty and anxiety that Mai couldn’t help but throw her strategies overboard. This wasn’t some negotiation with a publisher. She stood up, walked around the table, and sat down again. Invitingly, she clapped on her lap. Without asking a question, but also without banter, Sakuta took the invitation and rested his head on Mai’s lap.
“It’s okay”, she started, while gently stroking through his hair, “I know that you don’t want to go nor do you know what to do, and that’s okay. You were the one who rescued me the last time, now it is my turn, don’t you think?”
“But you already did way more than I did. You gave your life for me!”, answered Sakuta in a muffled, somewhat sobbing voice. His muscles twitched, just as if he was reliving that moment that never happened, at least not in this reality.
“You have no idea how much you did for me, Sakuta. Please, let me return that to you”
“But we can’t go on that date. I can’t do this!”
Panic slid in his voice; his muscles became even tenser.
“No!”, Mai said, desperate to calm him down again. “No”, she repeated a bit calmer, „I won’t die. I promise. We will go see the Enoshima Lights, the Aquarium and the Fireworks. There is nothing to worry about.”
Mai’s voice seemed to have an effect on Sakuta, his panic faded, but the look in his eyes was still anxious.
“An accident could still happen”, he tried, his eyes evading Mai’s gaze.
“There won’t be an accident.” She looked him straight in the eyes, and with the calmest voice she said: “I will not die, Sakuta.”
Something in her voice must have convinced Sakuta’s subconscious, he became calm again, the anxiety in his eyes and voice faded.
“Promise?”, he simply asked.
“Promise”, she replied.
They both grew silent again, Mai could practically see Sakuta’s inner conflict, his anxiety fighting against his will to do the right thing.
“Okay”, he finally said, “But...”
“Yes?”
“Can we stay like this a bit longer?”
Mai smiled and reached out to take his hand. “Just this once, we can”

It didn’t take long until Sakuta was asleep. It must’ve been tiring for him. Mai looked at her hand, intertwined with his. She was able to feel the invisible ropes tying them together. For the first time of this puberty syndrome, she was happy to feel them.