Sakuta

The clock on Fujisawa Station displayed 17:22. It was the 24th of December: Christmas Eve. Sakuta and Mai were surrounded by numerous families, couples, and singles too. All of them probably heading in the same direction as him and his girlfriend were, the Enoshima Lights.
Shivers ran over his body, and it wasn’t the cold afternoon that made him it so. The thought of bringing Mai to the place where the accident happened still wouldn’t let him go.
As if Mai felt his unrest, she gripped his hand tighter. Maybe the ropes were tightening too? But that could’ve been just his imagination.
As the train rolled in, Mai looked at him, shooting Sakuta a near perfect smile. If he didn’t know her so well, he wouldn’t have noticed the slight nervousness that was on her face. Strangely enough, that put him more at ease than a perfectly optimistic smile would’ve. Knowing that his girlfriend was nervous too strengthened his resolve to go through with it.
They both entered the train, Mai first, Sakuta second. Despite his resolve, there were still doubts in his head; fears of what happened and what might happen.
The ride to Enoshima Station didn’t take long. 10 minutes with the Enonden Line, arriving 17:34. Perfectly on time, as Sakuta saw on Mai’s phone. Ever since they arrived at Fujisawa Station together, she kept watching the time as if she had to meet an important deadline.

Following the sea of people, they started heading to Samuel Cocking Garden. Every time they crossed a street, Sakuta would first flinch before setting foot on it. His eyes kept going all over the place to spot an eventual threat. He could tell that Mai noticed his discomfort, but she didn’t say a thing. A bit slower than they usually would’ve, they reached the spot Sakuta had the most fear from. The crossing the accident happened was in front of them, not even 20 meters ahead. With each step they took, Sakuta’s feet grew heavier, his breath faster. He broke out in cold sweat, the shivering doubled in intensity. And despite no car driving near them, he heard the shrieking of breaks being pushed to the maximum, the smell of burnt rubber and the thud of an engine hood hitting a human body.
“Sakuta? What’s-”, Mai wanted to ask, but the words didn’t leave her mouth as she saw Sakuta’s face. Instead of finishing her question, she just drew him closer to a hug, despite having one hand still linked with Sakuta’s.
“That’s the spot, isn’t it?”
Mai’s voice sounding right next to his ear almost silenced the noises of the accident that had never happened. “It’s alright”, she continued, slowly stroking his hair while repeating the words, “I am sorry that I didn’t plan on going around this spot before”
Ever so slowly, Sakuta’s breath calmed down again. The shivering subsided and even the imaginary noises, pushed aside by the voice of his girlfriend, didn’t control his brain anymore. There was no way to deal with a panic attack quickly. That was something Sakuta had learned a long time ago. You just have to wait it out, until it gets better. Finally, his head rose again, and his eyes met those of his girlfriend, a warm smile on her face.
“Is it alright now?”
Silently, he nodded. All his concentration went to crossing that road, his hand firmly gripped Mai’s.

It was 18:02 when they reached Samuel Cocking Garden, both Mai and Sakuta sighed as they passed the entrance gates. No more cars, nothing to hinder their date. The Garden itself was beautiful, it illuminated the night from the ground up, shining up to the Sea Candle Tower, which glistened as its lights radiated down on the visitors. The atmosphere was completely shifted, just a few meters past the gate. No more people running around trying to get somewhere, just people enjoying the sights. Even the sounds of the street seemed to give room to that new atmosphere - it really was the perfect spot for a date. Mai seemed to have forgotten checking the time every few minutes, she was too enchanted by the lights to care about it.

Time went by more fluently, as they went from one sight to another. First the Garden and Tower, then continuing to the forest, spotting all the lights amidst the woods. Countless little lamps made the place look like a it was from a different world - it was dark, yet the lights gave off an almost mystical brightness. This impression was only enhanced when they went into the Tunnel of Crystals: a corridor covered in bright blue lights. On the other end waited Kamegaoka Square, filled with warm light, in the stark contrast to the bright blue of the tunnel. It almost had a cosy feeling to it, helping both to relax even more.

“Oh damn it!”, Mai cursed, after looking at her phone for the first time of the evening.
“What’s wrong?”, Sakuta asked, surprised by the untypical exclamation of hers.
They just finished eating a snack after they had visited Nakatsunomiya Square and Mai wanted to check the time for heading to the Aquarium.
“We are late!”, she said, “It’s already 20:00!”
Sakuta heard the panic in Mai’s voice growing and just as he wanted to open his mouth to comfort her, he heard another voice, slicing through the background noises of the other guests: “Hey, that’s Mai Sakurajima!”
Oh no. Even though he wasn’t as familiar with the show business as Mai was, he recognized the tone. A random person would’ve maybe whispered the name, and point it out to their company, but this was clearly from a journalist, who had long forgotten all respect for privacy and would do anything for a well selling story. Sakuta looked to the side at Mai’s face, it turned white in shock. Sakuta saw the journalist approaching, followed by some others. But before he could think of a way to react, he felt a pull on his hand, Mai had stood up to face them.
“Would you please let us enjoy our Christmas Date together in private?”, Mai started. Sakuta couldn’t help but notice the slight shaking of her hands, signalling how close she was to an outburst. Yet she kept her composure while talking to the journalists.
“Could you please tell us how your date went”, said one of the journalists, seemingly ignoring her.
“No, I won’t tell you. And now leave us alone already!”
Mai’s voice grew louder, but despite her obvious anger, she managed to keep it at that. Instead of arguing further, she grabbed Sakuta by the hand, running off with him following her quickly. They went off the official path and into the woods, the voices of the journalists growing quieter with every step. Even though Sakuta had to concentrate to not stumble in the dark, his head was still filled with the thought of Mai speaking up to those journalists. Even though she was about to panic just moments before. Slowly, something he technically knew from the very beginning creeped into his subconscious, he fully realized it.
“Mai, wait!”, Sakuta called out, just as they reached a clearing in the woods, opening to a beautiful view on the sea and Enoshima below them, “I think we went far enough; they won’t find us here. And...”
“And?” Even in the darkness, he could see how Mai raised an eyebrow.
"And I wanted to tell you that I'm sor-", Sakuta started but the words he was about to say wouldn't leave his throat. Too vividly did he remember what happened the last time he had to say those words. So instead, he went with the other emotion that was burning in his chest: "Thank you. I acted like a complete moron, overtaxing myself and after we got separated, I was feeling really awful about hurting you, but-"
A crash interrupted Sakuta’s words, and for a second the sky was illuminated by bright and colourful lights. A moment later, the thundering sound of the Fireworks continued, and the lights danced over the sky, lighting up the pair's faces.
"But you came after me even though I ran away, and that meant everything to me. I think part of me will always worry about losing you, and I will do my best to deal with that feeling from now on. I hope I can repay you for all you've done for me, despite my being a little difficult from time to time."
"A little?" Mai raised her eyebrows again, but she couldn't hide her smile.
"...very difficult. But the point is, I love you Mai, more than ever and I will spend the rest of my life showing you my gratitude."
A moment passed, the silence filled by the sound of fireworks. Then, Mai pulled Sakuta closer. Sakuta’s mind shifted to their failed attempt in the beginning of December, but before he could open his mouth to say something, Mai’s lips met his own, and a flood of relief crashed through his mind, expelling all harmful thoughts and anxieties. They stood there for a few seconds, before their lips parted again. It was a sensation Sakuta had never felt before, and he couldn’t have imagined that it would feel that good.
“You know, I think the bonds are gone”, Mai’s voice whispered next to his ear.
“I know”, he answered and gripped her hand tighter, “I just want to hold your hand a bit longer.”