so they took his coat and they offered him hope

There had been Gods in this world.

He had been told these tales. By Penelope, from her stories. From the conversations she had with customers past the curtain.

And they were all invisible, pointlessly non-existent merchants of terror.

These beings were never seen, never heard. There was no other explanation for their existence than the endless calamity the human realm experienced.

And now they were where he was!

Why would he ever want to approach them? What kind of monstrosity was he expected to contend with?

"Wait, there’s something entirely wrong with your story. If humanity has been harvesting the lifeblood of Gods this whole time, and one just woke up, suggesting that there has been many opportunities over the past few centuries, why didn’t they just use some of that harvested lifeblood to cure me? I was summoned as a Hero destined to save the world from these Gods, right? So what was the point of hoarding it for themselves if they’re just going to be killed?”

Puck shook his head. “Well, see, that’s the thing. There is no more lifeblood left in the human realm.”

“What?” His eyes widened. “So you’re messing with me. Again.”

“That would be foolish. I led you here to help you.”

“What if I just kill you for being an asshole?”

“If they had any left, don’t you think they would have used some of it on the Hero? The person who is destined to save them?”

Kaede tilted his head downwards, his face filled with wrinkled annoyance.

“That makes perfect fucking sense.” He ruffled his hair, erratic in his madness. “Agh-!”

He turned and stared at that terrifyingly bland castle of darkness in the distance.

It seemed that Fate was guiding him to the very thing he didn’t want to do. It was wicked in its whims, of which it knew nothing of. Because in Penelope’s stories, Fate was a mindless creature, who only wished to dream.

But it was still terrible to be a part of.

He rubbed his hand against his head, cursing. “Ahh, Buddhism, Buddhism, Buddhism… if I die, I can get reincarnated! But I might end up being a fucked-up beetle or something! And not even a cool rainbow one, like a stupid brown one!”

“What is Buddhism?” Puck raised an eyebrow. “Is it one of your proclivities?”

“I don’t have proclivities!” Kaede cursed, balling up a fist.

“Great, so do you want to live a healthy man or do you want to simper like a parentless baby and then kill yourself in agony?”

“Of course I want to live! I wanted to live on my own world, with my two wives! I was gonna be fucking rich! I was going to have four wives! It wasn’t legal! But I was going to make it legal! I was going to pay the government! To change the laws! And I was going to have five wives!”

“Why the fuck would you want that many wives? And why did you change the number twice!?”

“God-damn it!”

Kaede’s skin quickly turned translucent, words and incomprehensible sentences swirling around his invisible form. He willed the bright-crimson sentence in his forearm to rise from its depths, a harrowing onyx blade appearing in his hand as his visage returned to normal.

At the same time as the sword had been summoned, a sharp gust of wind burst outwards from around him, shaking the foliage high above, grass swept away in a hail to a far-away distance.

Kaede tore his hand backwards through the air, pivoting and slamming the blade downwards into the loamy soil. Ripples appeared on the surface of the world, churning outwards as the granules and pebbles sunk inwards.

In an instant, Puck and Kaede were swept up in a landslide! The world slid downwards at a drastic angle, causing a hail of mixed curses between them as his skin flashed with a flurry of words and scrambled sentences, the jagged-plated black armour forming around him.

He hit the surface far below at an incredible speed. The sheer force ripped into the rocky surface of the cavernous ravine, crashing into a shallow pool of water. It was cold against his face, he could feel the splotch of crimson forming as warmth in his cheeks.

Kaede was really pissed!

He crashed outwards from the frosty liquid, sprawling out on the wet rocks as he landed. Only… its surface was warm. His gaze shuddered as he peeked upwards, staring at the scene spared only a sight by the barely-spilled streams of light overhead.

On the surface of the ravine, spikes of stone speared upwards into the air. A figure rested high above him, sunken downwards like a man falling, crimson glimmering like ruby as it spilled in droves far below.

Kaede was kneeling in a pool of blood.

And Puck had been impaled by the craggy rocks!

The gaunt, handsome man twisted his bloodied head around, smiling cruelly.

“I’m still alive, you bastard… I can’t die, you know. Weren’t you listening? Agh… come pull me off. Pull me off the rock.”

“What?” He was near-horrified.

“Pull me off the fucking rock!”

“Okay, okay!” He rushed forward, scrambling not to fall as he reached the rock where Puck had fallen, grasping at his clothes as he attempted to lift him upwards. However, once he had lost focus on his stance, he quickly slipped in the blood still stuck to his armour, falling towards the grounds and pulling Puck down farther with him.

The fairy screamed in agony as the rock sunk farther upwards.

“YOU BASTARD!”

“I’M SORRY! I’M SORRY!”

“Ah… I see the stars… they’re falling…”

In that same moment, Kaede lurched upwards, propelling Puck off of the rock and onto the slick ground below.

He slid far below, rushing down towards the frosty water, crashing into its shallow depths, his face scraping against its rock surface far below.

“God… damn it!”

Kaede slide down the rock and crashed into the water beside him, grasping to his clothes as he dragged him back onto the crimson-stained rock.

“I’m so sick of this shit!”

Puck coughed loudly, water spouting out of his mouth high into the air like a fountain.

And then more water spilled out of his mouth.

And then it dribbled.

Then, all that remained between them was his stunned, ghastly silence.

“You… you are a fool…”

“Alright, alright!” Kaede grimaced. “I’ll go to the stupid castle with you! I’ll go on a god-damn adventure!”

He burst upwards from where he had been sprawled, a gleaming smile plastered on his face.

“Great!” Puck grinned, smacking Kaede on the back with a guttural laugh. “But could you keep it family-friendly from now on?”

“What?”

“My kids are trying to sleep.”

“What?”

Suddenly, wisps of light peeked out from underneath his collar, from the tufts of his white hair, and in his pockets. They waved and shivered, small weeps and whistles erupting from their minuscule forms.

“What…? …the fu-“

Puck whipped forward, slapping Kaede as hard as he could. He felt as if he would have been knocked far backwards had it not been for the staggering weight of the black plated armour.

“Family friendly, fool.”

“Okay, okay…”

Kaede sheathed the onyx blade, eyeing the wisps of light suspiciously. The closer he looked, the more he swore he could see their expressions. They resembled little emoticons made of black ink.

He took this time to question the fairy further.

“If a God went through their awakening here, why didn’t you harvest the lifeblood while you had the chance? Why do we have to go to the castle to get it?”

Puck shrugged. “What would we want with that stuff? It’s pointless to us. Perhaps even poisonous, who knows? Besides, it all got destroyed when that God awoke, so it’s not like it matters anymore.”

He turned his head away, frowning slightly.

“And my wife was killed, when that God awoke. In the city it destroyed. That was actually the first time we felt fear, you know? We can’t die. But Gods can kill us. A God killed my wife. So I don’t want that to happen again, you know?”

“God, God. Alright. Please, I’m sorry for pretending to care. Please don’t tell me anymore. I’m so bored!” He had resorted to covering his ears like a child.”

“Man, fuck you!” Puck spat.

“Family friendly! Family friendly!”

Puck frowned, turning away as he began to pat at his head and collar. It was as if he was soothing some things that hid far below.

They had started walking through the underground cavern, streams of crystalline liquid rushing down from high above, collecting far below in ovular pools barricaded by smooth stone.

They eventually stopped at the foot of a rising cliff-side, one which they would have to navigate to reach the path ahead.

“Then what makes you think the next God is going to awaken in the castle?”

“Because I’ve seen it. Because it is my home. Because I am its King.”