Vacation Days

In the darkness, she would occasionally reach out for him to see if he was still there. An insidious doubt had crawled into the depths of her mind that told her she would be alone again soon. That something would happen, and this one single bit of joy she had ever known would be gone before she knew it. But he was always there.

Surrounded by the quiet, deep walls of long-forgotten stone, they would sleep beside one another. They slept for days. It was impossible to know exactly how long they had lain there undisturbed, unmoved, unbothered. Hunger was not an issue. Thirst was nonexistent. Threats were far away. Thus, they lay on the ground, atop a single blanket, as the soft clay ground welcomed them with melancholy slumber.

Only the occasional scream or cry from the infinite walls greeted them. Otherwise, they were alone. Through it all, the weight of being continued to grow. Even though Tomita did everything he could to ease Izhari’s spiral, he could not stop it. All he could do was watch as the last remnants of hope or purpose bled out until one day they awoke, and the glowing color had all but left her tired, sunken eyes. Now they were dull, faint, grey, and cold.

Gaunt had taken her face even further into her bones. She wasn’t starving or depleted; she was simply destroyed. In the face of the insurmountable task ahead of them and the realizations about her past, as well as the acknowledgement that she had only existed as a scapegoat for vengeance, Izhari was faltering. Tomita did not know if her resolve would return. They may very well have become some of the distant, statuesque grievers if they were not careful.

Even Tomita himself began to decline. Only now did he fully understand the long-term wrath of the leech’s drain. Without precious memories to cling to for support, the foundations of his spirit were cracked and whittled away, so that any attempts at mental strength were all but doomed.

In his dreams, the faces of his father, his mother, his ex-wife, his bosses, and his colleagues all watched him from afar, judging in disdain and disappointment as he drowned himself in alcohol and busywork.

In Izhari’s dreams, winds howled from every direction, and she cried out for help and comfort, but it never came. She could sense a hand reaching for her, desperately calling her name, but she could never find its embrace. Instead, she flailed alone, crying out for anyone to find her, for the hand to catch her, but the comfort never arrived.

The two of them began to drift apart. Day by day, their bodies mended, but their spirits broke. A wedge carved itself between them in the absence of the burden sharing and emboldened by the cavern’s wicked tranquility.

But Izhari could not stop herself from reaching for him every night. The darkness of her blindness left her at the mercy of touch, scent, and sound, and now it felt even more amplified. His skin was roughened and dried. Sleep turned his breathing heavy and loud, but it was calming to her. Purrs emanated from her chest to comfort herself as her tail curled against her leg, and his scent drifted into her nose like a welcome neighbor.

In time, her bones stopped screaming.

The cloth of his shirt was torn and loose.

Muscles and ligaments eventually relaxed and released tension from her stomach, neck, and back.

His hand was warm.

After nearly a week of rigid, uncompromised rest, Izhari’s body regained a semblance of strength. It was all Tomita needed to rally his own aging form into functioning. Pain screamed up his spine, and he knew his back would catch soon, but for now, he needed to support his master. Nothing else mattered.

“I am ready to go to a pocket reality, if you are,” she proposed.

Tomita did not even respond. He merely took her paw and silently let his thumb graze the bend of her wrist.

“Take my other paw, and sit with me. Follow my breathing and I will ask the cave to craft something pleasant for us,” she explained.

His other hand took her paw and sat on his heels in preparation. Pulses of green ambience ebbed towards them as Izhari closed her eyes with intention.

“I am ready. I am ready. I am ready,” she said calmly as she filled her lungs with deep, focused oxygen.

Tomita closed his eyes and waited. Everything around them began to fade into darkness.

Izhari’s thoughts were raging as she tried to focus.

“I am ready.”

The howling winds never stopped. Pain returned in force as flashes of Currtasi sounded across the canvas of her mind. She tried to continue.

“I am ready.”

There was a field but it was on fire. There was no safety there.

“Please, I am ready.”

Void above. Void below. Memory star falls crashed around them, igniting the ground and exploding into bursts of suffering that splashed towards them.

“Please! I want peace! I want peace! I am ready!”

Then Mathael was there, standing over her, reaching down to snap her neck.

In the cave, Izhari let out a scream of terror and shook her paws loose from Tomita's clasp, who was surprised by her sudden outburst.

“Manager?!” he asked as she pulled away with a screech.

“You’re okay! You’re okay! You’re here with me!” he said as he reached for her.

“DON’T TOUCH ME!!” she snarled in a disjointed, deep growl that was not fully her own.

Tomita flinched in fear and sat back as she gasped to control her consciousness.

“He was right. He was right. I can’t even make a pocket of reality. I have never even known peace. How by the ether could I dare to be a true maji and create a new, better reality for all when I can’t even craft a sliver for myself?!” she cried as she slammed her balled fists against her head.

As much as it pained Tomita to believe, he understood that she was right in her fear. Her psyche was wounded. Broken. Incomplete.

A laugh without joy or peace or safety could never cultivate a thriving sanctuary.

In the darkness, Tomita realized that their mission was only ever for revenge. Murder was the only true goal they could strive for. Whatever happened after that, he did not know. He only prayed that it would not lead to the collapse of reality for the entire realm, but a thieflike thought snuck into his heart and told him the dreaded prospect that he might be right. If Mathael died, what would happen to the reality he created and controlled?...

None of it mattered, though. Tomita could not care less at this point. He hated this place. He hated the fog. The fear. The separation. The strange economy. The indifference. He hated all of it, except her. Though he did not realize it, the sorrow of the cave’s trickery was winning, and grief was winning the battle in his mind.

But that was a future problem. For the moment, all he cared about was his master, who was trembling before him.

“Master… I can try. Please, let me try…” he softly offered as he extended his hand once more.

Shame stepped aside, and Izhari’s soul welcomed his voice and effort. The tremors stopped, and she steadied herself.

“Take your time,” he said.

Deep breaths calmed shattered nerves, and after a moment, Izhari was ready to try again. Her paws returned to his hands, and Tomita scooted closer to her.

“Here, let us do like the memory transfers,” he said as he put one of her paws on his heart and the other against his head before placing his in the same place on her body.

“I am ready,” he said as he closed his eyes.

Years of dissociating on trains and in meetings paid off, as Tomita was able to clear his mind within seconds. Vacuous emptiness worked to his benefit as the chaos of his mind was washed away in a single moment. Clear the mind. Ignore the environment. Focus on the escape. It was just like a workday for him.

As he focused, a wealth of peaceful memories flew through his mind as a lifetime of small moments of escape and peace gave him the arsenal that he needed. After several seconds, he settled on his pocket reality.

There was a soft rushing sensation, and the air changed to become cool and breezy. The sounds of cicadas humming and leaves rustling drifted through the emptiness as unseen water flowed. Soft clay gave way to pleasant moss. Izhari’s paw tensed in gratitude.

Tomita opened his eyes and saw that he had succeeded. The cave was gone. They were in a recreation of Tomita’s favorite onsen.