With or Without You

Dusk had set, and the sky was clear – no clouds, no rain, no stars, just the sweet orange glow of the setting suns as they disappeared into the endless celestial vault.

Yet, a gentle breeze blew softly, brushing the leaves of any trees, making them shudder with every touch. It passed over every blade of grass, the fading light reflecting on them and creating the illusion of a wave of light.

The air was warm. Too warm for an autumn day.

The atmosphere was heavy, silence reigning everywhere, disturbed only by the wind.

Hidden somewhere in the Western Mountains, near the village of Molia, lay an immense plateau, covered in grass.

Craters scarred the land, several mountains walls had been destroyed, and the peak of one of the mountains was missing.

Large rocks were scattered across the plateau’s center. They resembled a head, arms, and legs arranged on the ground in a circular arc. At the center of this alignment stood a rock larger and taller than the others, half-buried in the earth, with moss slowly colonizing its surface. Somewhere at the top of this rock was a hole – perfectly round – through which the last light of the day pierced, casting a ray that illuminated a spot directly in front of the great stone.

Bathed in the fading light stood two young trees, not very tall, their thin truck fragile, their few leaves brushing each other as the wind blew.

Between them lay freshly turned earth, filled back into a rectangular mound, its darker shade marking the contrast.

Above it, a stele – rounded at the top, uneven, as though cut hastily from a rock found nearby. On its surface, two words were engraved, carefully and patiently etched despite the stele’s rough shape.

Saya Benegram

This was a tomb. A beautiful tomb in a setting that embellished it. Yet a tomb is never a joyful place, as the faces of those standing before it showed.

Iwao and Lo stood side by side as Celi rose after placing a single flower on the fresh dirt. The flower had three perfectly white petals, opened wide around a golden pistil. From it rose three shimmering golden streams of smoke, drifting into the sky.

“A Benegram. A flower that blooms only two days in a year. Today was one of them, and it’s freshly cut just for you, Saya. This flower, which bears your name, will accompany you wherever you go now. After all, its meaning is love – the love we feel for someone… and we love you, Saya. Take a part of us with you… and we’ll keep a part of you here too…” Celi whispered, her voice breaking as tears burst forth.

Lo opened its arms and embraced her as tears streamed down its face too. They were all saddened, Lo and Celi showing it most openly through their grief.

Iwao’s face was emotionless as he stared at the tomb, though sadness lingered beneath his expression. Tears shimmered in his eyes, his gaze was fixed somewhere far beyond what lay before him.

“I don’t care anymore about being Iwao, Saya.” He spoke in a heavy, deep voice, putting weight into each word.

He clenched his fists. Celi and Lo stopped sobbing, their tear-filled eyes locking on Iwao as tears finally slipped down his own cheeks.

“I’m still Iwao. I’m still myself. I still bear the name Iwao. But some things are over – forever. I don’t want to be the Iwao that came from another world. I don’t want to be consumed by the desire to find a way back home. I’ve grown in this world… and I’ve suffered as well… more than I could have ever imagined. Here, I met Celi. I met Lo. And I met you, Saya.” He continued, tears streaming harder, spilling into his mouth, though his voice never once faltered.

His face remained calm, lips steady, contrasting with the flood from his eyes. He crouched beside the tomb, his gaze following the golden smoke rising from the flower, tracing it up into the sky.

“It's no use for me to cling so tightly to that old world. Deep down, I knew that hope was holding me back, keeping me from being truly free. I constantly felt unease... the need to know what my life might have been if all this had never happened. Despair, sorrow, sadness – just a few words for what I felt every time. I didn’t know how to act. I didn’t even understand myself. Sometimes I was determined, drawing strength and confidence I couldn’t explain. And sometimes, I was weak again. I lost all sense of who I was. But being with you all slowly made me realize… The present moment is here before me. I must let go of my earthly attachments. I must change, to truly become the person you saw in me.”

He placed his hand on the stele, brushing his fingers over the carved name, feeling each letter with his human skin.

“I have to cut the cord that keeps me from moving forward. With or without you, we’ll make your memory and your wishes live on. We’ll remember you. We’ll love you… forever, Saya Benegram.”

He wiped his tears and stood. Walking to a bag behind Lo and Celi, he pulled out a piece of steel the size of his hand. Returning to the tomb, he planted the round medallion in the earth before the stele. On it was engraved an axe, studded with stars, faintly stained with blood.

“Here’s my last gift to you, to leave a trace of who you were, of where you came from. This medallion bears the blazon of your kingdom – the one you should have ruled. I took it from your father. This is the royal medallion, the inheritance that should have been yours.”

Lo and Celi stepped forward to see it. They wiped their tears, sadness still carved into their faces. They said nothing, but their tears had run dry, leaving only emptiness as they breathed out their grief.

“Goodbye, Saya.” Iwao said before picking up the bags and walking away from the tomb.

Lo and Celi followed him soon after, their faces twisted with incomprehensible emotion.

“They’re feeling empty… a hole straight through their heart. I understand. I understand it too well. We’ll face this together. We must not sink into this emptiness for too long… or else…” Iwao thought, as the three figures disappeared into the rising night.

******************************

After the battle, scouts were sent to discover why the king and his army hadn’t returned. When they arrived on the battlefield and saw the plain of desolation, they rode back to the castle.

From there, they informed all the cities – using telepathic messages – that the king and his army had been defeated. Jubilant crowds gathered in every town and village to celebrate, and for several days, the festivities were in full swing. Peace and joy reigned everywhere.

In Taranios, fireworks were launched even during the day. Soldiers could do nothing except avoid excess, as the leader at the top of their hierarchy was no longer alive and they didn’t received many orders.

Arriving in the city, the small group, now reduced to three members, walked through the main avenue.

Celi wore new adventurer’s clothes with small pieces of armor on her arms, chest and legs. Her skin was radiant, though a large scar marked her face, with smaller ones visible on her arms and legs. She wore a serious expression, glancing discreetly all around her as she walked with determined steps. Her right hand rested on the hilt of her axe, which hung from her belt.

Lo, though unchanged in form and outfit, now had a whiter skin, resembling the other people in the city. Its clothes were clean and well-washed. It stared emotionlessly at the fireworks, eyes fixed as it walked slowly, moving away from the rest of the group.

Iwao appeared quite different. He wasn’t using his invisibility. Everyone could have seen him, though they couldn’t, as Iwao hid behind large clothes and everyone else was occupied with other things. He wore shoes adapted to his two differently shaped feet, loose trousers, and a large shirt covering his chest. A mask covered the lower half of his face, and a hooded cape-coat completed his outfit. No horns pieced the hood – they were gone.

“Being partially human makes me feel less stressed about moving normally through a city. I’m scared someone will see the real me and announce to everyone that a monster is in town. But… I’m well hidden in these clothes. I even asked Lo to cut my horns to avoid attracting attention, though the base remains slightly visible, so my hood must not be removed. I also asked Celi to cast a spell to contain this strange, terrifying aura that surrounds me when I’m not invisible, though I don’t know how long it will last. She also cast a spell at my command to change Lo’s skin color, so we could blend in well in the city. I’ve taken every precautions. I feel a semblance of freedom, even if it’s not exactly what I imagined.” Iwao thought, his face concerned and eyes downcast, keeping his monstrous features shrouded in the shadow of his hood.

Celi noticed Lo drifting into the crowd as more people filled the avenue. She quickly walked to it, grabbed its hand, and guided it back to Iwao.

“With Saya’s death, we all changed… Lo doesn’t want… or rather, it can’t show it truly, but its actions prove it. Celi is trying to fight her fears, trying to assume the role of protector, trying to grow stronger mentally and physically. And me… I’m the same. I’m the worst… feeling worse than ever…” Iwao thought, his upper face showing a constant concern.

They continued their walk and stopped in front of an inn. Entering confidently, they found the restaurant and bar area moderately busy. They strained their ears and sighed at the conversations around them.

“Always… Soldiers had informed them that some strange creature killed the king and his army. They knew it was a creature based on the last messages the king left before departing for battle. If I believe their words, they are glad the king is dead. But they fear the monster. They would never want to meet it face to face. If they knew I was here… what would they think? All the city talks about the same thing: me. I’m glad to have value, to be recognized as their savior, but still feared, treated as a monster, looking like I do... I can’t consider this a good thing.” He thought as Celi spoke with the innkeeper, handing over some coins, and returned with a key.

“Our room for the night. Three beds and room service to bring our meals tonight. Let’s go. I feel everyone’s insistent gaze since we arrived, so before they notice something or ask question, let’s go in our room.” Celi explained as she led them up the stairs at the back of the inn.

Lo and Iwao followed her down the second-floor corridor and entered the last room. The room featured three single beds with nightstands, styled in a contemporary Parisian manner. Celi locked the door, and they all sat on their beds.

Iwao buried his face in his hands, mumbling as Celi and Lo watched, confused.

“Are you alright, Iwao? Relax? We're safe here. No one will bother us. You need rest. Don’t listen to those people – one day they’ll truly see who you are, and you’ll become the person you truly want to be.” Celi said, placing her hands on his shoulders and looking firmly at him.

Iwao raised his head and met her gaze. She smiled – a faint, yet comforting smile. He sighed in relief and cleared his throat.

“It’s not over as we might have thought. It’s only the beginning. We won’t live a peaceful life now. The Polmo Kingdom is at war with two kingdoms. Without a king or ruler, it wouldn’t be surprising if these kingdoms tried to invade us, kill the population, and disturbed the peace once they learn about the king. I don’t know their strength… but if they find us, they won’t be merciful. Two kingdoms, perhaps with many powerful warriors… We can’t handle that alone. We’ll have to act before them.” Iwao explained, his voice steady, his breathing rough.

Celi looked concerned, lost in thought at his words. Iwao turned to Lo, who had begun removing its shirt but stopped when their eyes met.

“What is it, Iwao?” It asked.

“We’ll need to find The Witch – your mother. She’ll be the key to a path we can’t take without her. And… I have matters to discuss with her, if she is truly powerful.” Iwao said, hands trembling, legs restless.

“Mother… finally…” Lo muttered, staring at the ground.

They spent the afternoon resting or talking idly, occasionally watching life outside the window.

As night fell, a knock came at the door. Celi opened it and returned with a small trolley carrying three meal trays. The food looked appetizing: a meat stew with salad, bread, alcohol, and a slice of cake for dessert.

“Apart from the tartlet before… it’s really the first time I’ll eat a normal meal again and drink alcohol. I’ll need to do it often, so as not to look strange in the eyes of others... and get used to it again. I must resume human habits, for when I become one again someday.” Iwao thought as he took his first spoonful of stew.

He ate, chewed, and swallowed, repeating until the plate and the rest of the meal were gone, tears streaming down his face. He wiped them away as they appeared.

When finished, they returned the trolley to the corridor and locked the door. Full and exhausted, they slept deeply as the night reigned outside.