Chapter 20 - The Birthplace of Philosophy

I held the bottle up to Ame’s mouth as he drank from it. We all continued walking back to Little Man, now that we had accomplished what we were here for. If Ame wasn’t sick, I would have liked to stay here for a lot longer.

Dominic moved Ame onto my back and leaped onto Little Man, grabbing the worm on the way up. He handed it to Kaya as she put her in her lap as they all motioned for me to come up.

I was holding Ame onto my back as he wrapped his hands around the bottom of my neck, under my collarbones. His arm was brushed against my chest. I had always seen his skin, but I had rarely felt it. It was incredibly soft for somebody who would fight so much. I stood there, spacing out while I held Ame who was nodding off on my back.

“Nell!”

I jumped and came back to my senses as I heard Dominic yell out my name. Slightly embarrassed, I looked down and jumped up onto the back of Little Man. Ame was barely conscious and I didn’t want him to fall, so I kept him on my back. We seemed to be going fast enough to make it in time. But, Ame’s condition was also going fast.

Many times throughout my life, I was forced to wait. Wait on the back of Little Man, wait for Dominic’s execution, wait at the hospital, and wait for my birth, and during all of those times, the only thing I could do was think. So, obviously, I thought a lot. They started off purely based on logical information. It’s because I wasn’t human. Everything I thought of was an If-Then statement, and if I was at an impasse I shut down. But now, I could simply walk past. I have my “legs”. I have my humanity. But, I still don’t have myself. Every time I had time to think, I had another thing earned, and another thing to look forward to. But my goal of becoming “Me” didn’t feel to be getting any closer. It was a rather cold feeling. There was a cold that radiated within me whenever I thought about stuff like that. Pick up the burdens thrown at you and carry them to comfort. That’s what I had always thought. But it was hard. It was really hard. They were heavier than I could handle. I didn’t want this. I just wanted comfort. All I wanted was to skip to the finish line with everybody. The road there was too cold.

And yet, there was something making it bearable. It was an eternal flame and a blanket. Ame, on my back, radiated the heat from his body onto mine, making the cold creeping out from my internal world fade away.

The tears that would have fallen out from my thoughts escaped, and were followed by a smile. It was funny how quickly my thoughts could change just from a single person. A human. But not a simple one.

I laid Ame down off of my back, and laid next to him. I didn’t care if I didn’t fall asleep. I just wanted to stay here. No matter what I thought about, the cold couldn’t catch up to me.

Because I was surrounded by the most comforting flame on this planet.

…

…

…

It turns out I did fall asleep. It was rather unfortunate that I couldn’t have more time to think, but I was sure I would have more in the future. Ame was already awake by the time I woke up, smiling softly at me. Something was off. While he was sitting there, every bump Little Man ran across made him almost fall over. It couldn’t be from the medicine, it should have worn off by now. What was the issue?

We hit another bump, and blood came out of his nose and mouth. It was a lot more than usual. If that had come from his brain, he wouldn’t have much time left. This wasn’t good. It had to have been a while, so we were close.

“Dominic! How close are we?!”

He turned over to me, surprised at my tone.

“We are about an hour away. I can see the mountains from here. Are you oka-”

His eyes widened as he stared into Ame’s eyes.

He crawled over as fast as he could without standing up and falling off. Kaya and Sy peeked their heads over to see what was happening.

Ame was now fully unconscious. His internal world’s winds were slowing down to a halt. The string attached to his internal world self was slowly snapping, like a thin rope pulled too hard. The child inside was desperately holding onto it. This couldn’t be happening. Not after everything we did. Not after what he just did. My warmth couldn’t go. I held my hand up to his forehead in a desperate attempt to feel it again. I couldn’t say anything. Anything I wanted to say was stuck at the tip of my tongue. So, I just left my hand there. I wanted to communicate as much as I could.

Dominic turned back around and hopped off of Little Man.

“We’ll get there faster on foot! Sy and Kaya still can’t fly, so we’re gonna walk. Sy, you can still carry Ame with your wind!”

Dominic tossed Ame to Sy, who caught him and put him on his back. The staggering height difference made it slightly difficult for Sy to run, so he used wind magic to propel himself faster. If he had enough strength to push himself higher off the ground, he would be able to fly instead of simply glide.

Sy looked back at Ame, his eyes seemingly being a mirror. They looked as if they reflected everything that came into contact with them. His face stayed straight as he looked back towards Kaya, and started running into the direction Dominic was sprinting in. I patted Little Man and the worm before I jumped off as well.

The same golden aura from the fight with Verwa had come back. Dominic gripped his arm as if it was broken, and then let go. He shot forward like a cannonball, as fast as he was against Verwa. Kaya could barely keep up with no magic, so Dominic picked her up and put her on his shoulder. I wouldn’t be able to keep up either without using anything. The God of Time had previously helped me use RME on my legs, but it almost ripped my hamstrings. I hated relying on her, but it needed to be done. I had no choice. If it was my pride or Ame, then it isn’t even close. The muscles in my legs felt as if every cell was being replaced and recreated as I infused them with as much RME as I could without bursting them.

When I did this, I shot forward faster than I ever thought I could. The wind was forcing my eyes open as my hair trailed behind my head. My ears stopped working altogether. Dominic turned to me in shock as I sprinted even faster. I was caught up with Dominic. I slightly slowed my pace so I could follow him without getting lost. Just as I did this, I saw something. There was an incredibly large range of mountains, with similar spiky rocks to the ones on the Jeti-Baum border.

Dominic screeched to a halt as he spoke.

“We’re here. The office is near my old house, just past this mountain. The capital, Bodega, is right there. I’ll tell you everything I love about this country later. Ame comes first.”

I nodded as Dominic led us into an entrance embedded into the side of the mountain. I couldn’t sense any magic from the guards. They simply nodded once they saw Dominic and let us in.

Within a couple of seconds of sprinting, Dominic stopped again in front of a building. He looked incredibly nervous yet determined. Sy handed him Ame as he took a deep breath, and opened the door.

He stared at the receptionist with Ame in his arms. Her hair was dark brown and short. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days due to the dark circles under her eyes,

“Hey. Sis.”

She simply stared back at him, eyes wide. She couldn’t say anything.

Kaya, who was strutting into the building, ceased her movement and slowly turned to Dominic with the same expression the woman had.

“Sis…?” she said.

Dominic did not nod, nor did he refute it. He simply walked towards the counter with his eyes struggling to not avert themselves from his sister's gaze.

Jaw slacked, she barely regained enough composure to speak.

“D-Dom.”

He nodded.

I would have originally thought a reunion between siblings would have a much lighter mood than this. Everybody was simply shocked, because they never knew that Dominic had a sister. And above all, her eyes were not happy. They were tired. As if a burnt out flame got a spark thrown at it, but couldn’t relight itself. The wood had already been burnt.

Dominic explained the situation with Ame to her. She took him to the operating room without any questions. It didn’t seem as if she had enough energy to.

It was selfish to think this way, but I would have liked to know why. This was an unusual interaction, or lack of interaction, and I was naturally curious.

I watched as she laid Ame down onto the bed. Everybody surrounded it as Dominic’s sister pushed Sy out of the way.

She grabbed a bottle of pills from the counter and gently placed one into his mouth. He swallowed it and was laid onto the hospital bed. She turned on an incense machine in the corner of the room and shined a warm lamp on his forehead.

“Only three of you can stay with him. As for Dominic, he can do as he pleases. It’s not my concern anymore, is it?”

Dominic guilty looked down at the floor as his sister walked out of the room.

Kaya and Sy were sitting beside Ame as Dominic stood there.

Since there were only three people allowed, one of us had to leave the room. As much as I wanted to stay with Ame, staying there would only worry me. Worrying me would worry him, and that would make him worse. It hurt me, but I walked out of the room.

“Aren’t you going to stay with him?” Dominic’s sister asked, as I bumped into her.

“I would have liked to, but I wouldn’t want to worry him. That would pain me more than leaving.”

She lit a cigarette and put it in her mouth.

“So, terrorists do have feelings. Who would’ve guessed, eh?”

Ah. So she knew.

I put my legs together with my hands in my lap as I looked down.

“I don’t know what I'm supposed to care about. The more somebody knows about somebody, the more the human mind connects themselves to that person's experiences. That’s what I’ve learned. So, why have I stopped chasing that? I want to care more about everybody. I already care a lot, but I want to care more. How do I cause that spark?”

…

“I don’t fucking know, kid. That's a bit of a question to throw on me. Lemme think.”

She thought for a couple of very long seconds before speaking.

“You seem to already know. You stopped chasing it because you didn’t have to. You’ll care more about them naturally. I’m not one to talk though. I’ve known Dominic since he was born. Ame and my grandfather would speak to each other about what was happening to him on a weekly basis. I knew everything as well. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to care about him during that moment when he came in. Do you know why?”

I had to go over the question a couple of times in my head to understand. My answer had not come from any string of logic that I followed, but instead, a simple string of emotions and thoughts from my mind.

“I don’t know. I don’t know the cause, after all.”

“I’ll tell you the cause then, kid.”

She sat back and began to tell a story.

______________________________________________________________________________

Dominic’s birthplace, Cittaglia, is also known as the birthplace of philosophy. And yet, he did not know how to view the world. He had a road to walk, and walked it blindly. He was trained in the sword by his parents from a young age, due to the lack of magic. The sword was not for defense, nor was it for offense. It was simply an artform. Just as dancers would perform, so did enlisted military members.

Dominic would ask his parents about everything. It was as if he did not view himself as having free will. When he left to go buy ingredients for the dinner he wanted, he would always ask his mother what to buy. His mother simply responded with “My mind is not yours”. Dominic nodded and asked his father, who said the same thing. He never asked his sister, however.

Dominic had never gotten the shopping done. Not a single time. He had to go with his sister, who would decide for him.

On the shopping trips, he and his sister would rarely speak, for they never needed to. Dominic wouldn’t ask her anything, because she already knew what to do. Despite a lack of communication, Dominic still cared for her very much.

His parents were incredibly sick and bedridden. The lung disease had come out of nowhere, so the medicinal chemists were still working on a cure. If the cure was created, there would be nothing to worry about.

He returned to his house. He walked towards his mother’s bedroom to bring her a pre-made meal from the store. It was as cheap as the ingredients, and Dominic did not need to ask how to make it.

He opened the door, and sat beside his mother and father’s bed. His mother had dark brown hair, slightly darker than Dominic’s hair. His father was a light blonde and was a bit more skinny than the average person.

“What should I do?” He said, with the food in hand.

His mother was used to this question. He would ask it every day, and she was never annoyed by it. She understood the place Dominic’s mind was in, and the only worry within her mind was that Dominic would no longer be able to function after her death. So, she responded.

“You should sit down. Place the food on my bedside.”

He did what was asked of him. He sat in silence for a second before asking another question.

“What should I do now?”

His mother simply smiled at him.

“Never ask that question again. Not unless it is absolutely necessary. Pick up your sword and move forward without looking back. I don’t care where you end up. Just move. Learn what you will and believe what you will.”

Dominic stared at his mother with a staggering pain in his eyes.

“Why? I can follow you, mother. Father can help me train as well. What do you mean I must move forward? What shou-”

“Shhh.”

Dominic’s mother put her finger up to his lips, and then brought him in for a hug, with her torso half off of the side of the bed.

“I am going to die, Dominic. Father will too. You have infinite choices. You’ll be free. You are strong. You are free. And yet, that does not mean you are ‘ought’ to do anything.”

Dominic stared into the wall, eyes wide.

His mother took a long, shaky, deep breath. She spoke one last time.

“It feels so weird to only be able to think of somebody else when dying, doesn’t it? Maya. Dominic. As your mother, I would like you to listen to me. I have had this question for my entire life, and never got a chance to answer them. If your god has morals opposite to yours, what do you do?”

Dominic, with a shaky voice and tears overflowing with his eyes, tried his best to think of an answer.

“Y-You… I-I d-d-don’t-t-t knowww..”

His mother smiled, giggled, and hugged him and his sister tighter.

“Exactly, Dominic. Now, what do you do when you don’t know something?”

He answered again, shakily.

“Y-Y-You ask… I as-ask yo-u-u.”

“And what will you do when I’m gone?”

Dominic burst out in uncontrollable sobbing, trying to speak. But his mind was too jumbled to think. Every answer flying towards his brain was shot out of the sky by another rogue emotion.

His mother smiled.

“I love you Dominic, Maya. That’s why I’m telling you this. Keep running forward. Your life is a road. At the end of every road, there is a cliff. In Cittaglian philosophy, we call it the cliff at the end of the world. On that road, you’ll see many amazing things. People often wonder why you must traverse it. Some say it is what God wills, and some say there is no inherent reason. But, I had discovered that the reason isn’t something given to you. It is something you make.”

Maya looked over Dominic as she saw that her father had already passed. Without a single word. He was simply listening to his wife talk as he died.

The mother saw this, and smiled.

“He always said I talked too much. I suppose he was correct if he died from my rambling. It’s about time I go as well.”

Dominic, still sobbing, looked at his mother.

She had died. Both of his parents were not breathing, for their lungs had collapsed.

Not a single person knew how. Dominic’s sister, Maya, took it incredibly hard. Children are naturally curious, and a situation such as this would only make this innate desire for knowledge even more rampant. Maya’s mind was racing on how they died, and what her mother meant. The words echoed in her mind, until she couldn’t take it.

Dominic, who was fifteen at the time, was sitting beside the bed of his deceased father and mother. His sister was next to him, crying just the same as he was.

He turned to Maya, with a look of desperation and confusion on his face. He spoke in a shaky voice, as if he was about to collapse.

“W-What should I do now?”