Chapter 23:

Chapter 22 - Four Paces Past the Spot You Left Me

An Original Sin

I held the bottle up to Ame’s mouth as he drank from it. We all continued walking back to Little Man, now that we had accomplished what we were here for. If Ame wasn’t sick, I would have liked to stay here for a lot longer.

Dominic moved Ame onto my back and leaped onto Little Man, grabbing the worm on the way up. He handed it to Kaya as she put her in her lap. They all motioned for me to come up.

I was holding Ame onto my back, wrapping his hands around the bottom of my neck, under my collarbones. His arm was brushed against my chest. I had always seen his skin, but I had rarely felt it. It was incredibly soft for somebody who would fight so much. I stood there, spacing out while I held Ame who was nodding off on my back.

“Nell!”

I jumped and came back to my senses as I heard Dominic yell out my name. Slightly embarrassed, I looked down and jumped up onto the back of Little Man. Ame was barely conscious and I didn’t want him to fall, so I kept him on my back. We seemed to be going fast enough to make it in time. But, Ame’s condition was also going fast.

Many times throughout my life, I was forced to wait. Wait on the back of Little Man, wait for Dominic’s execution, wait at the hospital, and wait for my birth, and during all of those times, the only thing I could do was think. So, obviously, I thought a lot. They started off purely based on logical information. It’s because I wasn’t human. Everything I thought of was an If-Then statement, and if I was at an impasse, I would shut down. But now, I could simply walk past. I have my “legs”. I have my humanity. But, I still don’t have myself. Every time I had time to think, I had another thing earned, and another thing to look forward to. But my goal of becoming “Me” didn’t feel to be getting any closer. It was a rather cold feeling. There was a cold that radiated within me whenever I thought about stuff like that. Pick up the burdens thrown at you and carry them to comfort. That’s what I had always thought.

But it was hard. It was really hard. They were heavier than I could handle. I didn’t want this. I just wanted comfort. All I wanted was to skip to the finish line with everybody. The road there was too cold.

And yet, there was something making it bearable. It was an eternal flame and a blanket. Ame, on my back, radiated the heat from his body onto mine, making the cold creeping out from my internal world fade away.

The tears that would have fallen out from my thoughts escaped, and were followed by a smile. It was funny how quickly my thoughts could change just from a single person. A human. But not a simple one.

I laid Ame down off of my back, and laid next to him. I didn’t care if I didn’t fall asleep. I just wanted to stay here. No matter what I thought about, the cold couldn’t catch up to me.

Because I was surrounded by the most comforting flame on this planet.

…

It turns out I did fall asleep. It was rather unfortunate that I couldn’t have more time to think, but I was sure I would have more in the future. Ame was already awake by the time I woke up, smiling softly at me. Something was off. While he was sitting there, every bump Little Man ran across made him almost fall over. It couldn’t be from the medicine, it should have worn off by now. What was the issue?

We hit another bump, and blood came out of his nose and mouth. It was a lot more than usual. If that was all internal, he wouldn’t have much time left. This wasn’t good. It had to have been a while, so we were close.

“Dominic! How close are we?!”

He turned over to me, surprised at my tone.

“We are about an hour away. I can see the mountains from here. Are you oka-”

His eyes widened as he stared into Ame’s eyes.

He crawled over as fast as he could without standing up and falling off. Kaya and Sy peeked their heads over to see what was happening.

Ame was now fully unconscious. His internal world’s winds were slowing down to a halt. The string attached to his internal world self was slowly snapping, like a thin rope pulled too hard. The child inside was desperately holding onto it. This couldn’t be happening. Not after everything we did. Not after what he just did. My warmth couldn’t go. I held my hand up to his forehead in a desperate attempt to feel it again. I couldn’t say anything. Anything I wanted to say was stuck at the tip of my tongue. So, I just left my hand there. I wanted to communicate as much as I could.

Dominic turned back around and hopped off of Little Man.

“We’ll get there faster on foot! Sy and Kaya still can’t fly, so we’re going to walk. Sy, you can still carry Ame with your wind!”

Dominic tossed Ame to Sy, who caught him and put him on his back. The staggering height difference made it slightly difficult for Sy to run, so he used wind magic to propel himself faster. If he had enough strength to push himself higher off the ground, he would be able to fly instead of simply glide.

Sy looked back at Ame, his eyes seemingly acting as a mirror. They looked as if they reflected everything that came into contact with them. His face stayed straight as he looked back towards Kaya, and started running into the direction Dominic was sprinting in. I patted Little Man and the worm before I jumped off as well.

The same golden aura from the fight with Verwa had come back. Dominic gripped his arm as if it was broken, and then let go. He shot forward like a cannonball, as fast as he was against Verwa. Kaya could barely keep up with no magic, so Dominic picked her up and put her on his shoulder. I wouldn’t be able to keep up either without using anything. The God of Time had previously helped me use RME on my legs, but it almost ripped my hamstrings. I hated relying on her, but it needed to be done. I had no choice. If it was my pride or Ame, then it isn’t even close. The muscles in my legs felt as if every cell was being replaced and recreated as I infused them with as much RME as I could without bursting them.

When I did this, I shot forward faster than I ever thought I could. The wind was forcing my eyes open as my hair trailed behind my head. My ears stopped working altogether. Dominic turned to me in shock as I sprinted even faster. I was caught up with Dominic. I slightly slowed my pace so I could follow him without getting lost. Just as I did this, I saw something. There was an incredibly large range of mountains, with similar spiky rocks to the ones on the Jeti-Baum border.

Dominic screeched to a halt as he spoke.

“We’re here. The office is near my old house, just past this mountain. The capital, Bodega, is right there. I’ll tell you everything I love about this country later. Ame comes first.”

I nodded as Dominic led us into an entrance embedded into the side of the mountain. I couldn’t sense any magic from the guards. They simply nodded once they saw Dominic and let us in.

Within a couple of seconds of sprinting, Dominic stopped again in front of a building. He looked incredibly nervous yet determined. Sy handed him Ame as he took a deep breath, and opened the door.

He stared at the receptionist with Ame in his arms. Her hair was dark brown and short. She looked like she hadn’t slept in days due to the dark circles under her eyes,

“Hey, Sis.”

She simply stared back at him, eyes wide. She couldn’t say anything.

Kaya, who was strutting into the building, ceased her movement and slowly turned to Dominic with the same expression the woman had.

“Sis…?” She said.

Dominic did not nod, nor did he refute it. He simply walked towards the counter with his eyes struggling to not avert themselves from his sister's gaze.

Jaw slacked, she barely regained enough composure to speak.

“D-Dom.”

He nodded.

I would have originally thought a reunion between siblings would have a much lighter mood than this. Everybody, including me, was shocked, because they never knew that Dominic had a sister. And above all, her eyes were not happy. They were tired. As if a burnt out flame got a spark thrown at it, but couldn’t relight itself. The wood had already been burnt.

Dominic explained the situation with Ame to her. She took him to a room without any questions. It didn’t seem as if she had enough energy to ask questions.

It was selfish to think this way, but I would have liked to know why. This was an unusual interaction, or lack of interaction, and I was naturally curious.

I watched as she laid Ame down onto the bed. Everybody surrounded it as Dominic’s sister pushed Sy out of the way.

She grabbed a bottle of pills from the counter and gently placed one into his mouth. He swallowed it and was laid onto the hospital bed. She turned on an incense machine in the corner of the room and shined a warm lamp on his forehead.

“Only three of you can stay with him. As for Dominic, he can do as he pleases. It’s not my concern anymore, is it?”

Dominic guilty looked down at the floor as his sister walked out of the room.

Kaya and Sy were sitting beside Ame as Dominic stood there.

Since there were only three people allowed, one of us had to leave the room. As much as I wanted to stay with Ame, staying there would only worry me. Worrying me would worry him, and that would make him worse. It hurt me, but I walked out of the room.

“Aren’t you going to stay with him?” Dominic’s sister asked, as I bumped into her.

“I would have liked to, but I wouldn’t want to worry him. That would pain me more than leaving.”

She lit a cigarette and put it in her mouth.

“So terrorists do have feelings. Who would’ve guessed, eh?”

Ah. So she knew.

I put my legs together with my hands in my lap as I looked down.

“I don’t know what I'm supposed to care about. The more somebody knows about somebody, the more the human mind connects themselves to that person's experiences. That’s what I’ve learned. So, why have I stopped chasing that? I want to care more about everybody. I already care a lot, but I want to care more. How do I cause that spark?”

…

“I don’t know, kid. That's a bit of a question to throw on me. Lemme think.”

She thought for a couple of very long seconds before speaking.

“You seem to already know. You stopped chasing it because you didn’t have to. You’ll care more about them naturally. I’m not one to talk though. I’ve known Dominic since he was born. Ame and my grandfather would speak to each other about what was happening to him on a weekly basis. I knew everything as well. And yet, I couldn’t bring myself to care about him during that moment when he came in. Do you know why?”

I had to go over the question a couple of times in my head to understand. My answer had not come from any string of logic that I followed, but instead, a simple string of emotions and thoughts from my mind.

“I don’t know. I don’t know the cause, after all.”

“I’ll tell you the cause then, kid.”

She sat back and began to tell a story.

…

She told me about what happened in Dominic’s past. About how his mother died, how Maya left him alone, how he met Seele, how he killed Seele, and how he joined Eternal Flame as the second member.

Maya spoke.

“So, that's what Grandpa told me. Dominic told all of it to Ame, Ame told it to my Grandpa, and Grandpa told it to me. Now, Nell, do you have an answer for my question?”

I had completely forgotten her question. I was overwhelmed. Dominic had gone through all of that, and is still standing here today. He is still taking care of Kaya and Sy. He cares for all of us.

His sister saw me staring off into space, thinking.

“My question was if you know why I didn’t care when I saw him.”

Oh. I remember now. It took me a minute to think of the answer, but I believe I understood it. It was rather difficult for me to comprehend though.

“It’s because you’re free. You’re free to not care, just as you were free to live with your grandfather.”

She leaned back and thought, before nodding.

“Seems about right. Let’s go check on them.”

She got up as if nothing happened, and walked over to the door before opening it.

Dominic, Kaya, and Sy were all sitting on the floor as Dominic spoke to them.

“Did you make up?”

They both looked at Dominic, confused at what he was talking about. As if they had forgotten about why they couldn’t communicate with each other.

Dominic smiled in response to this.

He rested his hand on his sword, and looked up at the ceiling.

“I’m glad you could forget.”

I interrupted them.

“Is Ame awake?”

“Look at him.” Dominic said.

He was lying down, eyes closed on the hospital bed.

I stood beside him, staring down at him. He was resting peacefully, unconscious and undisturbed.

Without looking away, I asked Maya a question.

“When will he wake up?”

She responded bluntly.

“I’m not sure. He was supposed to be awake already.”

I was beginning to get slightly worried. I stared down at him the same, scanning his face for any inch of discomfort. But instead of that, his mouth twitched. There was a slight grin.

…

I pinched his arm and he got up laughing.

“Ow, Ow, Okay! Nell!”

I did feel irritated that he pretended to be asleep, but I was glad he was awake. It was hard to convey that with words. So, I just smiled. It was all I needed to do.

Kaya and Sy hugged Ame as Dominic smiled while walking out of the room. Moments later, Maya left as well.

Ame, Sy and Kaya all spoke to each other. I wanted to speak to him as well, but it was rather hard to inject myself into their conversation. If I knew how, I would’ve.

We all soon left the room and stood together in the front office.

Ame was the first to speak.

“So! What’s next? I’m mostly healed, Dominic didn’t get executed, and there are only the top 4 commanders left. If we work together, we can get #3. We’ll need Marē for Justin Beckwith, though.”

Dominic responded.

“The group leader is actually acting like a leader. I’m rather surprised.”

Ame looked blankly at Dominic as he continued speaking.

“Slowing down will make our work pointless, but that doesn’t mean we can’t spend a bit of time away. Let’s go back to Barye, and then after a bit, we can go hunt down #3. We’ll need Marē for Justin Beckwith, though.”

Kaya excitedly nodded her head up and down in sync with Sy.

I was fine with it as long as nothing like what happened last time happened again. Pain would be caused every time there was a fight, but every drop of blood was another step towards Ame’s goal. The pain it caused us would be worth it in the end, as long as Ame got his wish.

Dominic saw the agreements, and spoke up again.

“Alright. We’ll leave right-”

“I’m free.”

I turned over to Maya, who interrupted Dominic.

She continued speaking.

“I’m free. I can say what I like. I can ask what I like. Selfishness is a part of freedom, is it not?”

She was looking at Dominic. She already knew the answer to her questions.

He simply nodded.

“So, Dominic. Let me say this.”

She paused for a moment.

“Please don’t leave. I’m free not to care. And yet, I’m free to care. I felt nothing when you entered. But, when I see you facing the door, it’s different. Don’t die. I heard that you almost got executed.”

Dominic tried to respond.

“I-”

“This isn’t what your path is meant to be! Don’t throw your fucking life away! Don’t leave. You’re the only family I have left. I hated myself for not caring when you came in. And I’d hate myself even more if I let you run to your death.”

Dominic looked conflicted. He had to summon his thoughts for a moment before coming up with anything to say.

“I’m free as well, aren’t I? I apologize. I’ll come back.”

He turned his head and walked out of the door, clutching his fist. Maya looked devastated as he turned his back to her. It was rather painful to watch. Dominic did cause her harm, but it was his decision. Dominic was strong. He wouldn’t die. I was sure of it.

I walked up to Maya to console her. Not out of pity, not out of sadness, but out of the confidence and pride I had in Eternal Flame.

“He won’t die. I promise. I’ll keep him alive until you can see him again.”

She looked at me with dead eyes as I continued.

“From what you’ve told me, he’s lived in hell for too long. It must have been painful. On the life I had been given, no matter what, I won’t let him fall into hell again.”

She wiped her eyes and stood up.

“You better not be lying.”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like this.”

She smiled.

“Alright, Nell. I’ll see you soon.”

I nodded, waved, and walked out of the building with everybody.

Dominic exhaled and got on the back of Little Man. She shot forward with all of us on her back as we entered back into the plains between us and Barye.

I knew Dominic was tired, but he still didn’t sleep. He forced his eyes open for one specific thing.

Ame started playing games with Kaya and Sy. They seemed interesting, but I didn’t ask to join.

It only took a minute of me staring at Ame for him to figure out that I wanted to join without me asking.

Ame pointed his hands towards me, with a fist curled up on a flat palm.

“Rock, paper, scissors-”

I had no clue what he was doing. He soon realized I couldn’t understand what he was doing, and asked me to watch him and Kaya play.

“Okay! Kaya! We’ll show Nell how to play. He’ll pick up quickly.”

I watched closely as Ame and Kaya moved their fist up and down three times.

“Rock, paper, scissors-!”

Ame held his fist the same as he did previously, resembling a rock. Kaya on the other hand, held her hand out to resemble a gun.

“Gun beats rock! I win!”

I see. I thought it was just rock, paper, and scissors, but apparently there were more. Ame surely had lost on purpose to show me how the game worked.

“Hey! Gun doesn’t exist! That’s cheating.” Ame said.

Kaya stared smugly at him.

“Nuh uh.”

Sy appeared next to me and spoke with a solemn look on his face.

“I will be the judge of this match. Nell, watch and learn.”

I nodded and observed Sy think.

Moments later, he raised his hand and cleared his throat.

“I have looked into the evidence and have come to a conclusion.”

Ame, Kaya and I all watched intently.

“My verdict is…”

“...”

“Gun does in fact beat rock. Kaya wins.”

“You’re a shit judge! That wasn’t the issue!”

I was even more confused.

I guess I would be fine not playing this game.

…

Soon, we were all talking without playing any games. After four hours, Dominic fell asleep for a grand total of 3 minutes and woke up 6 different times. He also took Kaya’s dagger to clean it in between the times he was awake. Even when there was no need to, Dominic would still clean things. He really seemed to love it.

“I wonder how your uncle would feel if he found out you gave me his dagger. It looks really expensive.” Kaya said.

Sy looked down and shakily spoke.

“I don’t care. Like I said, Eternal Flame is the only connection I care about. The only memories I have with my old family are from years ago. I don’t even remember my old name. I haven't seen him since he got drafted. He probably doesn’t care about me either.”

Ame quietly nodded like he already knew this information, while Kaya frowned.

“How do you know he doesn’t care about you? Even if you haven't seen somebody in years, caring about them is still common.” Dominic said.

He seemed rather serious while speaking, as if he took it personally.

Sy laid down on his back.

“I don’t know. I don’t know much.”

Everybody silently thought while I smiled a little. I didn’t know why, but I hated and agreed with that phrase at the same time. It wasn’t a contradiction despite how much it felt like one to me.

Soon enough, Barye came into view. The sun would be close to setting soon.

We were back home.

Little Man stopped as Dominic spoke up and smiled.

“Happy birthday, Sy.”

Huh?

Sy blurted out, having the same reaction I did.

“Huh?”

“It’s October 10th, it’s your birthday. I waited until we got back to say it. I have all the ingredients for a cake in the cabinet.”

Sy beamed. I didn’t know it was his birthday, but I was glad I did now. I saved it in my memory so I wouldn’t forget.

“Thank you. I’m glad you’re all here for me. That’s the only thing I care about right n-now.”

Dominic tilted his head as Sy yelled into the sky.

“Shit! That was so hard to say!”