Still Someone's Child — Yulan

After Celeste had dragged away Meilin, Himari began to indulge in conversations with Jianyun, while I quietly sipped some tea.

They sure are taking a long time…

Haruki had landed himself in the pile of mooncakes, once stacked up so tidily it was so obviously for presentation, now all messed up and scattered all over the floor.

Celeste is going to have trouble cleaning this up later, so I might as well help her clean it up as a gesture of gratitude for the refreshments.

Himari asked, “It might just be me, but it seems like Ms Yulan doesn’t like Mr Jianyun too much—eek!”

I whipped my neck around at the mention of my name; that must’ve shocked Himari a bit.

I patted the girl’s head affectionately, “Haha…what makes you think of that?” I laughed awkwardly, denying the fact that I indeed shot Jianyun glares quite often.

“It’s a matter that has been bothering me, too.” That red hair, that gentle voice, and those elegant gestures, there was no denying he was that corrupt general’s son.

I frowned, holding Himari in my arms tightly, separating her from Jianyun. “I’m sure you must’ve made a mistake. I don’t dislike anyone.”

That general, he was disliked by nearly everyone in my district. He had not a speck of kindness or righteousness. Doing everything only for his own benefit, I’m surprised he got to stay as a general for this long. But again, even for an unethical being, he possessed a high intellect, allowing him to crush down his rivals, and that includes my father.

Because of him, my father had lost his job and always faced cold judgement from our neighbors. 

Don’t even get me started on the attack. I bet that general had surrendered the moment he knew he couldn’t survive. That would explain why his son had survived and is doing well.

Himari fidgeted with her fingers, clearly uncomfortable with this conversation.

“Ms Yulan.” Jianyun started, “Though I’m not too sure if this is the reason for the coldness behind your stares, as a soldier of Tian Cheng, I had failed to protect the citizens of Tian Cheng, and caused the downfall of such a glorious nation.” He bowed in front of me, “This guilt has lingered in my heart for such a long time. And I’m deeply sorry for not being able to do the best of my duty.” His voice turned into a murmur, “This was the reason I had lost my brother anyway.”

At the mention of that, my gaze softened.

I looked him straight in the eye. The boy was not much older than Meilin, perhaps around the same age as Himari. In those determined eyes of his, I saw a young child, one who blamed himself for the fall of Tian Cheng.

“Of course.” I muttered under my breath, “He’s still someone’s child. He’s also a child. How did I miss that?” Himari heard my murmur and cocked her head. I shook mine as if to tell her, 'It’s nothing.'

As if he weren’t the very being I despised just a moment ago, I ushered him to stand back up and said softly, “It’s not your fault. And I’m sorry for your loss,” Jianyun turned to me with a surprised expression.

“Ah—it’s fine. It’s been a long time already.”

“I’ve also lost someone dear to me because of the attack.” I noticed that Himari’s hair was getting messy, so I untied the buns to comb her hair. “So I understand, blaming yourself for not being able to save them.” I thought that the general’s sons would only care for their own benefits, just like their father; guess I was wrong.

Jianyun shook his head. “No…My brother had sacrificed his own life to protect me. If anything, I’d blame myself for needing to be protected.”

“But you’re a good fighter. Why would your brother need to protect you?” Himari asked.

Jianyun’s face darkened just for a moment, then his soft smile returned with a hint of sorrow, “I was scared. For some reason, I froze at the sight of the massive amounts of monsters.”

That was just normal. If you had lived in Tian Cheng before the disaster, unless you lived in rural areas, commoners wouldn't even know what a monster is. Tian Cheng is guarded by gates, preventing any monsters from entering, and hence, people didn’t know how to face the raid of monsters.

“You did a good job.” I resisted the urge to pat Jianyun’s head, knowing that he was pretty mature and probably wouldn’t want to be caressed like that. “You shouldn’t blame yourself for what happened. You’ve already grown a lot throughout these few years, and you don’t seem to be scared by monsters anymore. That’s already a lot of development, and you should be proud of that.”

“Thank you,” Jianyun replied with a sweet smile on his face. Sometimes I wonder if that smile was genuine.

Haruki had gobbled up all of the mooncakes and let out an enormous burp. Himari scolded him while we all laughed. Perhaps the lack of table manners was shared between the owner and the cat.

I finished tying Himari’s hair and handed her a mirror. “Wow!” She exclaimed, “This is so pretty.”

Some hairclips were lying around, so I used them to decorate Himari’s hair. I tied it into a high bun, a hairstyle Linhua adored.

“You look quite ravishing indeed,” Jianyun remarked, not in a flirtatious manner, but in an admiring tone. Still, Himari’s face turned bright red; it wasn’t her fault. Any girl her age would be flattered by a young gentleman like Jianyun.

But that expression was oddly similar to the one Himari wore whenever Meilin would pay attention to her. It was either that Himari gets flustered easily, or she had grown to have a fondness for Meilin and Jianyun.

Who knows?

At her age, it wasn’t strange to blush so easily—whether for Meilin or Jianyun, I couldn’t quite tell.