Chapter 22 - Freedom Killed Eternity

This was his fault. It was a punishment for something he did. It surely had to be. He tried to crawl away, but collapsed into the wet cement floor.

He got up and ran back. He ran and ran and ran. He couldn’t stop.

He slammed open the door and grabbed his blade. He saw Seele’s blood dripping into the carpet. Her carpet.

He held it up to his neck.

He pushed it against his neck.

He tried.

He pushed harder.

He tried.

He couldn’t.

He wasn’t strong enough to kill himself. The only thing that allowed him to face forward was gone. What other option did he have? He had to go to hell. It was the cliff at the end of the world.

But he couldn’t. Why couldn’t he? It was freedom, wasn’t it?

He didn’t know. He couldn’t know. He passed out.

…

He awoke in a calmer headspace, but it was not a better one. He thought “If only I waited.”

“If only I spared her.”

“If only I listened to her words.”

He stared at the sword in his hands.

He then averted his eyes from it. He simply laid there and thought. What would he do? His only joy in life was killed by his own hand. He had nowhere to go. Nobody to go to. He was aimless. Just how he started.

Yet again, he laid there. But, Seele clearly had an effect on him. He laid there for hours instead of days. Thinking about what to do, he never had an answer. But he knew one thing. His mothers words still lingered in his mind even after all those years.

But, I had discovered that the reason isn’t something given to you. It is something you make.

It was something he made. All he had to do was find another. The memory of Seele was preventing this. He didn’t want to find a reason, but he was forced to.

Another day passed. He knew what must be done. He steeled his resolve, and picked his blade back up.

He polished it.

And he put it on his side. He decided that he must find another reason to live. Another road to walk. But, his sins and memories would never leave him.

Wrath and love all stayed with him on his body at all times, for his blade was there with him.

Seele was there with him.

He stepped out of the door and onto the porch. The porch where he first sat down with Seele after the loss of his mother. He laid something on the grave of his mother before turning around and walking away. That would be the last time he ever saw that place. He had left Bronnie on his grandfather's doorstep over a year prior, so he had nothing left behind to worry about.

With his sins in tow, he left the house.

He wandered for seven years. He was homeless, spending all of his time at his job, attempting to look for a purpose. Seven whole years. He did nothing but work. Every time he cut an enemy with his sword, he would polish it. He was loved by his peers, but he had never found a purpose to live, throughout every single year there.

One day, on one of his random wandering trips, he ran into a man with blue hair. Bright blue hair and eyes conflicted as life in the ocean. He saw the sword on his hip and proposed something to him.

“Hey hey! You should fight me!”

Dominic tilted his head, confused at this.

“My name is Ame Nishimura! Fight me! If I win, you’ll join me as my second in command. If you win, you can… hmm… kill me. Hold up your sword!~”

This only made him even more confused. Dominic would never accept a proposition like this. And yet, something was telling him to do it.

Whether it was himself or something else, there was one thing for certain.

He was strong. And he was free.

He grinned.

“I accept, Ame Nishimura.”

And he held up his sins.

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“So, that's what Grandpa told me. Dominic told all of it to Ame, Ame told it to my Grandpa, and Grandpa told it to me. Now, Nell, do you have an answer for my question?”

I had completely forgotten her question. I was overwhelmed. Dominic had gone through all of that, and is still standing here today. He is still taking care of Kaya and Sy. He cares for all of us.

His sister saw me staring off into space, thinking.

“My question was if you know why I didn’t care when I saw him.”

Oh. I remember now. It took me a minute to think of the answer, but I believe I understood it. It was rather difficult for me to comprehend though.

“It’s because you’re free. You’re free to not care, just as you were free to live with your grandfather.”

She leaned back and thought, before nodding.

“Seems about right. Let’s go check on them.”

She got up as if nothing happened, and walked over to the door before opening it.

Dominic, Kaya, and Sy were all sitting on the floor as Dominic spoke to them.

“Did you make up?”

They both looked at Dominic, confused at what he was talking about. As if they had forgotten about why they couldn’t communicate with each other.

Dominic smiled in response to this.

He rested his hand on his sword, and looked up at the ceiling.

“I’m glad you could forget.”

I interrupted them.

“Is Ame awake?”

“Look at him.” Dominic said.

He was lying down, eyes closed on the hospital bed.

I stood beside him, staring down at him. He was resting peacefully, unconscious and undisturbed.

Without looking away, I asked Maya a question.

“When will he wake up?”

She responded bluntly.

“I’m not sure. He was supposed to be awake already.”

I was beginning to get slightly worried. I stared down at him the same, scanning his face for any inch of discomfort. But instead of that, his mouth twitched. There was a slight grin.

…

I pinched his arm and he got up laughing.

“Ow, Ow, Okay! Nell!”

I did feel irritated that he pretended to be asleep, but I was glad he was awake. It was hard to convey that with words. So, I just smiled. It was all I needed to do.

Kaya and Sy hugged Ame as Dominic smiled while walking out of the room. Moments later, Maya left as well.

Ame, Sy and Kaya all spoke to each other. I wanted to speak to him as well, but it was rather hard to inject myself into their conversation. If I knew how, I would’ve.

We all soon left the room and stood together in the front office.

Ame was the first to speak.

“So! What’s next? I’m mostly healed, Dominic didn’t get executed, and there are only the top 4 commanders left. If we work together, we can get #3. We’ll need Marē for Justin Beckwith, though.”

Dominic responded.

“The group leader is actually acting like a leader. I’m rather surprised.”

Ame looked blankly at Dominic as he continued speaking.

“I would like to relax, but any slowing down will make our work pointless. We’ll go back to the base and hunt down #4. If we ambush them, it would be much easier than fighting Verwa. Got it?”

Kaya excitedly nodded her head up and down in sync with Sy.

I was fine with it as long as nothing like what happened last time happened again. Pain would be caused every time there was a fight, but every drop of blood was another step towards Ame’s goal. The pain it caused us would be worth it in the end, as long as Ame got his wish.

Dominic saw the agreements, and spoke up again.

“Alright. We’ll leave right-”

“I’m free.”

I turned over to Maya, who interrupted Dominic.

She continued speaking.

“I’m free. I can say what I like. I can ask what I like. Selfishness is a part of freedom, is it not?”

She was looking at Dominic. She already knew the answer to her questions.

He simply nodded.

“So, Dominic. Let me say this.”

She paused for a moment.

“Please don’t leave. I’m free not to care. And yet, I’m free to care. I felt nothing when you entered. But, when I see you facing the door, it’s different. Don’t die. I heard that you almost got executed.”

Dominic tried to respond.

“I-”

“This isn’t what your path is meant to be! Don’t throw your fucking life away! Don’t leave. You’re the only family I have left. I hated myself for not caring when you came in. And I’d hate myself even more if I let you run to your death.”

Dominic looked conflicted. He had to summon his thoughts for a moment before coming up with anything to say.

“I’m free as well, aren’t I? I apologize. I’ll come back.”

He turned his head and walked out of the door, clutching his fist. Maya looked devastated as he turned his back to her. It was rather painful to watch. Dominic did cause her harm, but it was his decision. Dominic was strong. He wouldn’t die. I was sure of it.

I walked up to Maya to console her. Not out of pity, not out of sadness, but out of the confidence and pride I had in Eternal Flame.

“He won’t die. I promise. I’ll keep him alive until you can see him again.”

She looked at me with dead eyes as I continued.

“From what you’ve told me, he’s lived in hell for too long. It must have been painful. On the life I had been given, no matter what, I won’t let him fall into hell again.”

She wiped her eyes and stood up.

“You better not be lying.”

“I wouldn’t lie about something like this.”

She smiled.

“Alright, Nell. I’ll see you soon.”

I nodded, waved, and walked out of the building with everybody.

Dominic exhaled and got on the back of Little Man.

I knew he was tired, but he still didn’t sleep. He forced his eyes open for one specific thing.

Ame started playing games with Kaya and Sy. They seemed interesting, but I didn’t ask to join.

It only took a minute of me staring at Ame for him to figure out that I wanted to join without me asking.

Ame pointed his hands towards me, with a fist curled up on a flat palm.

“Rock, paper, scissors-”

I had no clue what he was doing. He soon realized I couldn’t understand what he was doing, and asked me to watch him and Kaya play.

“Okay! Kaya! We’ll show Nell how to play. He’ll pick up quickly.”

I watched closely as Ame and Kaya moved their fist up and down three times.

“Rock, paper, scissors-!”

Ame held his fist the same as he did previously, resembling a rock. Kaya on the other hand, held her hand out to resemble a gun.

“Gun beats rock! I win!”

I see. I thought it was just rock, paper, and scissors, but apparently there were more. Ame surely had lost on purpose to show me how the game worked.

“Hey! Gun doesn’t exist! That’s cheating.” Ame said.

Kaya stared smugly at him.

“Nuh uh.”

Sy appeared next to me and spoke with a solemn look on his face.

“I will be the judge of this match. Nell, watch and learn.”

I nodded and observed Sy think.

Moments later, he raised his hand and cleared his throat.

“I have looked into the evidence and have come to a conclusion.”

Ame, Kaya and I all watched intently.

“My verdict is…”

“...”

“Gun does in fact beat rock. Kaya wins.”

“You’re a shit judge! That wasn’t the issue!”

I was even more confused.

I guess I would be fine not playing this game.

…

Soon, we were all talking without playing any games. After four hours, Dominic fell asleep for 3 minutes and woke up 6 different times. He also took Kaya’s dagger to clean it in between the times he was awake. Even when there was no need to, Dominic would still clean things. He really seemed to love it.

“I wonder how your uncle would feel if he found out you gave me his dagger. It looks really expensive.” Kaya said.

Sy looked down and shakily spoke.

“I don’t care. Like I said, Eternal Flame is the only connection I care about. The only memories I have with my old family are from years ago. I don’t even remember my old name. I haven't seen him since he got drafted. He probably doesn’t care about me either.”

Ame quietly nodded like he already knew this information, while Kaya frowned.

“How do you know he doesn’t care about you? Even if you haven't seen somebody in years, caring about them is still common.” Dominic said.

He seemed rather serious while speaking, as if he took it personally.

Sy laid down on his back.

“I don’t know. I don’t know much.”

Everybody silently thought while I smiled a little. I didn’t know why, but I hated and agreed with that phrase at the same time. It wasn’t a contradiction despite how much it felt like one to me.

Soon enough, Barye came into view. Despite it being night time, my eyes were easily able to lock onto the building.

We were back home.

Little Man stopped as Dominic spoke up and smiled.

“Happy birthday, Sy.”

Huh?

Sy blurted out, having the same reaction I did.

“Huh?”

“It’s October 10th, it’s your birthday. I waited until we got back to say it. I have all the ingredients for a cake in the cabinet.”

Sy beamed. I didn’t know it was his birthday, but I was glad I did now. I saved it in my memory so I wouldn’t forget.

“Thank you. I’m glad you’re all here for me. That’s the only thing I care about right n-now.”

Dominic tilted his head as Sy yelled into the sky.

“Shit! That was so hard to say!”

Dominic lightly chopped his head.

“Just because it’s your birthday, I’ll let the swearing slide.”

“Hehe.”

SHING!

Everybody, including myself, sharply turned their heads to the source of the noise.

As my head turned, every piece of the figure that entered my vision rattled my mind more and more.

A slash of a sword, seemingly cutting through space itself, shot towards Little Man.

Her head was cut off.

She was dead.

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