Hatred — Meilin

“Meilin!” Haokei shook my hand vigorously, grinning from ear to ear. “It’s been such a long time. How about we grab a drink? Or maybe we can go back to my place?”

A scowl spread across my face, and the look of puzzlement returned to her face once more.

“Is something wrong? Oh, right, the menu only has alcoholic drinks. I had drunk a few drinks before in secret, but I guess someone like you wouldn’t dare to drink.” She said in a mocking tone, “Alright, let’s go back to my place and I’ll prepare some juice for you, how’d that sound?”

I stayed silent, but followed behind Haokei. There was only one way to know if she really was the reason everyone hated me.

Before using the potion, I had lots of questions for Celeste, who was eager to answer all of them. And one of the questions I had asked was how to determine between reality and an illusion.

“There are a couple of ways to do that.” Celeste gulped down a bowl of—you guessed it, potion. To an average person, it would be an overdose of medicine, but to Celeste, it was almost like drinking soup. “The easiest way is to hire a professional to do a test. But of course, there are quite a lot of scammers, so it’s a bit risky. And the price is quite high, so most people will resort to using their own eyes.”

Celeste held up her fingers, “That is the second option. Most illusions would have colours that seem out of place, their skin might be a bit greenish, their eyes the wrong colour, etc. They might also act strangely, as illusions are created from one’s memories. As a result, they might not act like themselves, but rather like how you perceive them. This method might be a bit harder, but if you look straight into the illusion’s eyes, they would seem…lifeless.“

“And how would you deal with an illusion?”

Celeste scratched her chin, “After you confirm it’s really an illusion,” Celeste eyed me while emphasizing the word ‘confirm’, “I would suggest killing it off before it causes further harm. Of course, illusions made using the appropriate amount of potion are fine, but in some cases, people use illusions to trick others into believing them. The more gullible ones are prone to getting hurt by illusions.”

So I would have to kill her off if she were an illusion…

Even though the condition would be if she were an illusion, my stomach still twisted at the thought of killing Haokei. Even though I was furious that she deceived me, I wasn’t a cold-blooded monster.

Haokei had guided me to a small cottage, which felt welcoming, but its colours weren’t quite right. Perhaps it was also an illusion? I shook the thought away. It wasn’t possible. To create such a large and convincing illusion, the illusionist must be highly skilled.

“Hm, hm!” Haokei bounced towards the cottage, her demeanour reminding me of Himari. I sure hope she’s okay. The sudden appearance of a crowd was suspicious, but Himari seemed delighted, so I didn’t intervene.

We sat down at a table with glasses of juice already placed on it. How convenient.

Haokei peeked into a glass of juice, flipping it upside down, and spilled it all over her clothing. “Oops!” She giggled, trying to brush the stains off her skirt. I frowned. The Haokei I knew wouldn’t be this happy about a stain.

My outfit seemed to catch Haokei’s eye, because she pointed at it with a glint in her eye. “How about you lend me your outfit, Meilin?” She grinned weirdly, her braces showing. But wait. I leaned in closer. Her braces gleamed the wrong color.… Just as my mind processed that, the braces seemed to shift back to the correct colour—silver. “Hmm? What’s wrong, Meilin?”

“Nothing.” I shook my head. I needed more evidence.

“Anyways, Meimei, won’t you give me your outfit? Please? There’s only you to lend me a set of clothes, look, mine is stained all over. Oh? You won’t help me? Come on, don’t be such a jerk!” Her voice was as sweet as honey. She tugged on the sleeve of my shirt, looking at me with watery eyes.

“Y—” I almost agreed, as I always did, but covered my mouth in time. No, no, I mustn’t let her catch me off guard!

The sudden switch of colours between her clothing was enough to convince me that she’s an illusion. I stood up abruptly, aiming my staff straight at Haokei. My heart pounded loudly, silencing every other sound.

“Hey, hey! Meilin? Wait! You’ve got it all wrong! It’s me, Haokei! I’m telling the truth! I could never lie to you, I promise!”

“Never lie, huh?” My icy, emotionless gaze was fixed on her. “Then tell me, are you the one behind the harassment? Did you convince them to turn against me with that stupid story of yours, huh?” I raised my voice, gripping my staff tightly, but my hands shivered, and the staff felt cumbersome.

“Y-yes—”

Haokei seemed to shrink into the size of a mouse. Seeing her in such a pitiful state, my heart ached, but still, the hatred burned stronger, scorching away the last of my pity.

I blasted a power beam at the illusion, wiping her out without leaving a trace. The person I had trusted the most was the one who betrayed me. She betrayed me. She was the reason I couldn’t trust others. It didn’t matter that the voice belonged to a vision; it was still her voice, and she had confirmed it herself.

The rage was driving me crazy. I felt dizzy. The world was spinning around. I could no longer walk straight—

The world turned pitch black.

“Urgh.”

I felt like I had just hit my head on a wall.

By now, I had gotten used to this feeling, so I knew this was a vision. I was back in my cozy bedroom. I had lost all the will to walk out of my room. Who knew what was waiting for me at the other side of the apartment?

I stayed in my bed, staring at the ceiling. The lights had been changed…? A light replaced the plain ceiling light with colourful princess patterns.

What the…

It was a strange change indeed, but the pattern was strikingly familiar. Have I seen this before?

Why would childish lights replace my lights? Perhaps my mother had adopted a daughter? No, no, that wasn’t right. Maybe she was kicked out, and a new renter with a kid moved in. That wasn’t surprising, since the landlord had been threatening to kick us out ever since Dad stopped paying the rent.

I wondered where my mother is right now. If she were kicked out, perhaps she would have lived with my grandmother? Or perhaps—I shuddered at the thought: she ended up being homeless?

Just as these negative thoughts shoved their way into my brain, a young girl entered the room. “Meimei, it’s time for you to take a nap!” A woman followed closely behind.

My mouth fell open, and I couldn’t close it back up.

That woman was my mother.

And that child she referred to was me.

The girl—let’s just refer to her as young Meilin—rolled on the ground, obviously throwing a tantrum. “I don’t wanna go to bed!” It was a bit early for bedtime; the sun was still up and shining brightly. I assumed it was an afternoon nap for young Meilin.

“Meimei, you have to take a nap. You have your drawing lessons this afternoon, you wouldn’t want to be sleeping in class, do you?” Mom urged young Meilin to go to bed, and now Dad has entered the room as well.

I sat up on my bed, looking at young Meilin with curiosity. Strangely, she seemed to stare right back.

“Who’s my little princess?” Dad picked young Meilin up, raising her into the air, imitating the movement of an airplane. “Oh, don’t drop her!” Mom fretted, but her eyes shone with genuine happiness, one thing I haven’t seen in a long time.

I can’t remember myself having such joy. The black dot theory was quite accurate. In the midst of chaos, it was hard to focus on the cheerful things. Young Meilin seemed much happier than I was, not having a care in the world. Her laughter filled the air, and the space brimmed with euphoria. I envied her, as I saw her being twirled around and around in Dad’s arms.

I wondered if I had never met Haokei, if she had never caused me such misery in my life, would I still be on Earth, facing life with hope like young Meilin?

My heart twisted into a knot. The rage from within that was suppressed exploded. I hate Haokei. I hate that she made me suffer so much pain. That hatred had clouded my senses and my thoughts; I could hardly breathe.

Suddenly, a heavenly voice whispered to me, echoing inside my head: Would hating her change the past? Would hating her make you content? From what I see, it’s only bringing you more sorrow.

I felt myself relax, calmed by the soothing voice.

The vision slowly faded away.

This voice…

Who could she be?