Ch-14: An Ephemeral, Wholesome Volcano

If one were to describe a bursting volcano that quickly fizzled out - it’d be something similar to this, I presume:-

Mad Field Wielder: When the cogs of time swirl and whirl then rust and fade into nothing, the hearts and minds hidden deep between the alluvial soil deposited by pain and suffering - blast open and radiate high out in a blazing saturnalia devouring everything in its wild fury! The evanescence-

*Yawn*

Mad Field Wielder: -Of the event must not-

*Yawn* *Yawn*

Mad Field Wielder: -Fool one, since it is not just a momentary-

*Yawn* *Yawn* *Yawn*

Mad Field Wielder: YOU JERK, ARE YOU EVEN LISTENING TO WHAT I AM SAYING?

*A tumbleweed tumbles by with the dry breeze*

Uh, did you say something? Sorry, ego was bored.

Mad Field Wielder: THAT’S WHY WE ALL HATE YOU, YOU JERK! You are LAZY, ARROGANT and DON’T CARE AT ALL!

Verum est, verum.

Mad Field Wielder: Now don’t jump the gun and trick yourself into thinking that I am one of your Latin-loving friends, you know nothing about me-

I mean, I do, actually. Better than you.

Mad Field Wielder: Oh yeah? Tell me then. Who am I? What do I like? Who do I love? What insecurities and traumas do I have? HUH? TELL ME!

Certum, don’t blame me for public humiliation though - you asked for this. Oh wait, let me turn on the audio-visual mode for the Auto-Diary. Alright, here we go-

*The city of Rome, with bright sunlight cascading through the glass panels of electro-techno skyscrapers all spread out across the City of Seven Hills collectively embodying a large L-shape from the Hanging Gardens’ bird's-eye view-*

Whoa, Merlin, frater, brüther, brother - what kinda calibration did tu do to my Auto-Diary?

*Swoop* *A wisened, bearded sage holding an oblong wooden staff appears with a chuckle*

Merlin: Welle, I figured that you’ll not always bother me for narration if your diary can do the job for you-

Mad Field Wielder: WHAT THE HELL ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT??? WHERE DID THIS BEARDED WISE GUY FROM THE MYTHS COME FROM? What is happen-?

Shhhhh, Quill!

Quill: Wait, you actually know my-

Ita, I do, Mr Quill Hill from Tupin-et-Semons, postal code 69420 in France; you are an avid reader, author, and poet with scientific inclinations; scorned from birth due to being a natural-born Field Wielder capable of joining the League of Life due to your star-system-busting capabilities, a rarity on this planet, thus being exempt from Lex Simul; although you haven’t really done anything bad in your life, everyone you know is afraid of you - even your parents - this made you develop a deep trauma throughout childhood and adolescence, making you question and criticise the ultimate authority on everything - that is, ego - throughout your 18 years of existence as a way of venting, ergo-

Quill: …

Merlin: Relax, brüther Quill, this omnipotent god of whims and flatulence means no harm - he is more humane than he looks and acts-

Shhh, Merlin! Don’t expose me to the readers like that! They aren’t supposed to empathise with me as a human being!

Merlin: You know this statement only confounds Quill further, right?

Quill: …Wait a minute, s’il vous plait, I need… time… to process what’s happening…

Eh, tu should’ve been ready to be completely confused when you decided to assassinate me, heh?

Quill: I guess… that’s right…

So, well - shoot me, you made a gun just for that, didn’t you? C’mon, take it out from your trousers’ right pocket!

Quill: It’s… useless… and you know it…

Bene, but it’d help relieve yourself - won’t it? You’ve always wanted to do it throughout your life - so, well, what are you waiting for? Your very target wants you to shoot him!

Merlin: You know that’s exactly the reason why he’s hesitating, right?

Oh, shut up, Merlin!

Quill: Alright… then… If you say so… Here goes nothing!

*The staid man with a plaint face, his melancholy redoubled by his shabby brown hair and Belle Epoque-style dress and trousers, slowly took out a gun from his trousers and pulled the trigger - resulting in a bullet lodging itself straight in between the eyes*

Ah… Poena… So… Marvelous… Reinvigorating…

Quill: Sigh… I did it, but at what cost?

Probably at the cost of just some of my brain and epithelial cells but uh, ego don’t care.

Merlin: You know, brüther, that’s not what he means, right?

Shhhh, Merlin! Let me feel pain, accept pain, and know pain - I will never forget the pain that my Leo suffered, and now, I shall know pain.

Merlin: This is not Naruto, this is Nine. You are not Pain, you are The Divine Doodler of Destinies, the One and the None, the God of Whims and Flatulence, the Qua-

SHUT THE HELL UP, MERLIN! DON’T SPOIL THE ENTIRETY OF THE NINE COURS OF NINE, DAMNIT!

Merlin: Oh, sorig…

Quill: …I don’t even know what’s going on… but… merci, Monsieur Zero - thanks… you have no idea what this means to m- or well, you probably do. Sigh…

Merlin: So you aren’t mad that your target of assassination literally laughed at death itself?

*Swoop*

*A chubby baby wearing a cutely draped purple babysuit with a pink hood appeared in mid-air and landed overhead, before being caught*

Golly: Boo!

Oh, hey there, Golly! Where's Duo?

Quill: Might I become aware of the identity of this bonnie baby?

Oh, it’s the 69th Death. Isn't she cute?

Quill: Excusez-moi, monsieur?

Yeah, I killed Death's previous incarnation as a part of my plan to screw over One's plan. I mean I could kill the very concept of Death instead of killing it and making it reincarnate 69 times, but a world without death is boring — isn't it, Plume?

Quill: The entirety of my life merely registers as an insignificant speck of dust in front of the magnitude of mythos in those four-dozen words…

Merlin: Now, you didn't quite expect your target of assassination to have a bullet in his forehead while holding baby Death – did you?

Golly: Booah?

Quill: Based on what I had read and heard about him throughout my life, I should have indeed expected that - thus, I do not indeed pay heed to the refusal of the deed of, and against, Death by the Divine Doodler of Destinies himself, as you call him - the truth was always self-evident.

You really like words, don’t you?

Golly: Bwhe bwoes!

Quill: I am an aspiring author… so… Oui.

I know another kid like you - much smarter than you, ‘coz of his mutated highly-conductive synapses and neurotransmitters and whatnot - but well, you are much more depressed and only as intelligent as Melzi was…

Quill: Um… who exactly are you talking about?

Golly: Bwine!

The other kid I’m talking about really reminds me of Leo, he shares the same natural mutation as him for some reason - and he has almost the same personality of Leo when he was younger. Sigh… how I wish my Leo back…

Quill: Uh… This ‘other kid’ you’re talking about - is he a songwriter, scientist and savant of all knowledge?

Merlin: Yea, the same one who somehow managed to score 237 on his IQ test despite being feverish and having a cold.

Ita, the same one who is the Qua-

Merlin: And you were telling not to spoil the story… eh, brüther?

It almost slipped my mind - thanks, Merlin, I owe you a pizza for that.

Merlin: I would be rather glad if you owed me a day of not messing around with reality itself… And please return Death to Agent Two.

Oh, right! Bye, Golly!

Golly: …Bwhy…?

*The baby makes a grumpy face with a soft sob*

Aw, don't you make such a sad face – I will play with you in about a couple of thousand words, ita?

Golly: Bwekay… Bwye…

*Swoop*

*The chubby little baby disapparates out of the arms*

Anyway, now, let me give some context to the readers for a moment, and you Quill are gonna shut your mouth while I do the narration; no questions asked. Scis tu? Let me just sew your mouth with boron nitride crystals - just in case.

Quill: *Muffled noises of agony and confusion*

Hey, author! Don’t make the Auto-Diary make Quill sound like he’s gonna die or something - write a line below this to not make him seem like that.

Quill: *Even more confused but strangely calm noises*

Bene, that’s better.

Anyway, good job as a proofreader, author.

Merlin: Wait, I thought I was the proofreader.

Nah, I am the Author, you are the editor, and the author is the proofreader.

Merlin: Faire enough.

Anyway, so - my dear readers.

Limey’s currently talking with Nine and Six in the presence of the Tempus of Tempest, Sherlock - it’s kind of a hassle to explain exactly why… So, uh - I guess I will just let Merlin narrate it for me?

Merlin: How about no, brüther?

Ah, c’mon!

Merlin: Remember, show - don’t tell.

Ah, good idea!

Quill: *Muffled groans of slowly unsewing his lips while trying to say something*

Ah, Quill - you wanna go too? Bene!

*Swoop*

*The surrounding environment metamorphosed from high-rising skyscrapers peeking through the overlay of foliage, to a narrow alley in front of a small veranda of a simplistic church near the suburbs of Rome. A mashup of Für Elise and Amaro Porano Jaaha Chaay reverberates from a church radio. Four shadows emanate from four figures standing in the morning sunshine. One is a young, long-haired boy nodding to the beat of the music; another is a red-haired girl trying her best to maintain a façade of seriousness while constantly blushing; another is a child with white hair staring intently into the distance with a gloomy look; and finally, the other one is a man with Victorian attire smoking a pipe, and extrapolating serious information between puffs-*

Merlin! What the hell did you do to the Auto-Narration? Like, amice, that’s too detailed! I am not Nine!

Merlin: I mean, it sounds cool-

Minime, it sounds cringe!

Merlin: I mean, if you really don’t like it, I can change it… Here you go, brüther.

*...Tobe tumi jaaha chaao, tai jeno paao [Then may you get whatever you want, dear…] / Ami joto dukho paai go… [Let all the suffering be mine] [Alongside Für Elise piano accompaniment and Indian Classical percussion] [Birds tweeting] “As one can determine from these facts, Limey’s participation in the operation is crucial” [Nod, nod] [Smirk] [Tweets] [Puff] “As by his very nature as a 5D being-”*

WHAT THE HELL, MERLIN?!?!

Merlin: I AM SO SORRY, DEAR SIR, I WILL CHANGE IT BACK TO NORMAL RIGHT AWAY!

You’d better change it! I want to show this to my Leo someday! Make this worthy of being shown to the greatest man in the history of the omniverse and beyond!

Merlin: SIR, YES, SIR!

Quill: What grades of vicissitudes am I even experiencing-?

Six: Who’s there?

*A red blur zapped from the front of the church to just below Merlin’s armpit*

Six: Oh, it’s Zero - and this sage guy. And… this… guy straight out of Dickens. Who’s this guy?

*A boy with long, scruffy hair and curious eyes calmly walked towards Six with a strange smile*

Nine: That’s Merlin, Six, the Tertiary Infinite Being of Information - not just a ‘sage guy’.

Sherlock: I beg your pardon?

*The Victorian man lightly tapped his smoke pipe before taking a quick puff, proceeding to strut towards the group, unconsciously biting his nails in concern about what he just heard*

Sherlock: I beg your pardon, sirs, but was that aforesaid statement a truth?

Merlin: Indeed.

Sherlock: Verily?

Merlin: Verily indeed, my dear detective.

I swear, Merlin-

Merlin: *A deep, anxious groan*

Scis tu? Never mind, I kinda like this new vibe of the Auto-Diary now for some reason.

Merlin: *Sighs in relief*

Six: Can someone tell me who this random 6-feet-9 guy is?

Nope.

Sherlock: If I may beg your pardon, President Zero, would you let me make an acquaintance of your friend here?

Uh, sure. Why not?

Sherlock: Honourable Merlin, the Tertiary Being of Knowledge and Information – I am Sherlock Holmes, private detective.

Nine: He is also Time. Don’t forget that.

Six: Yup, pretty important information for a business card, not gonna lie.

Merlin: I am quite aware of you and your history, sir. I have had to personally watch a lot of your actions while sitting tight… due to this adolescent 500-year-old here. Do you require my assistance in something?

Sherlock: Precisely. We were attempting to formulate-

Nine: Hey Limey! Don’t just stand there all alone - come here!

*The gloomy white-haired boy turned to look drearily at Nine, smiled slightly, and came over instantaneously without a sound*

Six: Seriously though, Kyu-kun, no matter what ya gibberish about ‘5-D hyperbolic geometry’ states - Limey’s instantaneous motion without the use of the Drive will never cease to amaze me.

Nine: I mean, it’s not gibberish, it’s just math and spatial superposition - but I am with you there. It’s amazing, to say the least.

Sherlock: Which is precisely our requirement for our espionage operation… If I may, President Zero, I would like to beseech your agreement for another matter related to this topic.

Ita?

Sherlock: Can Halcyon borrow one of the League of Life members to act as a decoy in our plan to truly judge the state of GOATSAMA and BOTSAMA’s worlds?

I mean, I don’t have a problem with that - but Eight might. Just ask him.

Nine: Where is he though?

Oh, just a moment - let’s see. Whoop, here’s a portal!

*Pulls a hand, followed by the entire body, of Agent Eight - who was dragged out of his morning shower*

Here he is!

Eight: …I am dumbstruck…

*Six and Nine chuckled and giggled, Limey turned away his head, Quill just stood like nothing happened*

Well, Eight, Tempus himself needs you for a plan or something.

*Eight snapped his fingers as a plain, red T-shirt and black trousers manifested on his naked body*

Eight: What is it now-? Oh, Mr. Holmes, I see you’re here. Do you have a certain agenda that required me so urgently that I had to be pulled out of my shower?

Sherlock (embarrassed): Oh, sir, that was definitely not my intent! I merely requested President Zero for the permission to borrow a League of Life representative for our espionage plan - but he redirected it to you and just pulled you out on his own accord-

Eight: Relax, Mr. Holmes, that was just a joke. I know you wouldn’t do that. Speaking of permissions, all League of Life representatives are currently busy surveying their galaxies for the well-being and possible requests of the civilisations they represent. It would be quite difficult to just pick one of them - I guess Frocock’s an option, but he’d probably be useless anyway - but I can look into the matter, given time.

*Six and Nine struggled to tone down their giggle throughout Eight’s monologue*

Quill: It has come to my cognisance that the ongoing conversation has minimal relevance to my presence. Hereto, I beseech your grace to permit me leave your companionship-

Six: Please speak English, stylish tall-guy, we don’t speak Shakespeare.

I mean, I do.

Nine: I do too.

Eight: I understand most of it.

Sherlock: I live with Shakespeare.

Merlin: That’s literally my job.

Limey: *nods*

Bene, bene, bene, Sexta - seems like you’re the only ignorant one here.

Six (with puffed cheeks): Hey, hey, hey! Don’t gang up on me like that! Not you too, Sherlock! C’mon, man! It’s not fair!

*Everyone chuckles*

Oh, here's an idea - since all LoL members are busy, you can use Quill here as the decoy!

Six: Uh… this… random dude… is to be a decoy in a mission across universes?

Quill: Excusez-moi, mademoiselle. My name is Quill Hill, but my preference is the pseudonym Plume - nevertheless, rest assured, I am not a ‘random dude’ as you verbalised. I am a trained Field Wielder en par with the pinnacle of League of Life Council representatives. My specialties are Jiu-Jitsu and Kalaripayattu et-

Six: Hoh? Show me what you can do, French guy! Dodge… this!

*A scarlet aura sped as abruptly through the distance between Six and Quill as the latter's motion out of its range*

Six: Nice dodge! But what's your limit, eh?

Nine: Uh, Six, I don't think we should be doing this right now-

*A hurling barrage of near-instantaneous, scarlet-hue-enveloped fists went off, which were simultaneously dodged by a cornucopia of Quill’s moving at near-lightspeed*

Six: Damn, not bad. You can move at lightspeed even without using the Drive.

Nine: I am sorry, but were those shadow clones or just images of you dodging different fists simultaneously? ‘Coz that was legit awesome!

Eight: Impressive.

Quill: ‘Twas a true trouble, to say the least.

Kinda hilarious that you tried to shoot me dead when you could just do - that.

Six, Eight, Nine (in stereo): What?!

Sherlock: I beg your pardon?

Quill: He speaks the truth.

Six: You got some guts, tall guy. Gotta give you some props for that.

Nine: I know that trying to assassinate Salai here has been a regular occurrence since, like, the 1940s – but I have never heard of a guy being introduced to the chief of a multiversal organisation by the… assassinee…? - I dunno if that’s a word - for an espionage mission to another world. Gotta be something new and stupid even by anime standards.

Sherlock: …Indeed. Truth is always strange; stranger than fiction.

So, anyway, now that we got that out of the way – let me actually discuss Sherlock’s plan, quia it’s kind of hilarious.

Merlin: Wait, that’s my job-

I am gonna flex real hard in a moment, just shut up and watch.

Sherlock: But how would your grace be aware of my plan? I haven’t even revealed its entirety yet-

I am omniscient.

Nine: Fair enough.

Now, here’s the deal – BOTSAMA and GOATSAMA’s universes are merging together, fusing into one. Their worlds are part of the same ‘metaverse’ where gods can be created by conscious wishes of living beings, so they were in quantum entanglement since their worlds began. Nunc, Sherlock – as he is Time himself – could have just fixed it with a thought in normal cases, by just changing the timeline and the origins of their worlds. However, he faced interference by another Tertiary Infinite Being – Miaokuran, or Space herself – who orchestrated this as a part of her ‘Grand Reform of Existence’-

Everyone (including Limey, Quill, and Merlin): What?

Don’t believe me? Here, have a look at Miaokuran herself. Whoop!

*A human-sized cat with ornately-designed robes with geometric calligraphy apparated beside Merlin, being dragged out of apparently nowhere*

So, this is the Tertiary of Space, Miaokuran. She is basically the Muhammad-equivalent of a world where cats evolved instead of apes, but extremely overpowered. She doesn’t like disorder, apparently due to some divine revelation in a cave, and wants to transform everything into her own version of Order and Justice or something.

Miaokuran: MEOW, MEOW, MIAOKURAN!

Oh right, she doesn’t speak human languages – kind of a waste of time to bring her here. Go back!

*Miaokuran disappears*

So, anyway – Sherlock wanted to send a strong decoy to learn about the Tertiary Infinite Being who interfered in this multiversal catastrophe and keep it busy for just a moment, while another spy, the Statue of Liberty, went around GOATSAMA and BOTSAMA’s worlds to know what’s going on from ground zero. But, eh, tu kinda don’t need to do that anymore ‘coz I just abruptly pulled out the very Being of Space from her throne room in order to let the readers know of Sherlock’s plan – making this entire explanation pointless.

Sherlock: This… is ridiculous… You can’t just…

Merlin: You can’t just… play ping-pong with a Tertiary Being across universes like… that…

But I just did!

Nine: …I dunno what to say, you know? – He’s out of line, but he’s right.

Limey: *Squeak*

*The gloomy and dreary hoary-haired kid, who was listening to the entire conversation while melancholically looking into the distance – suddenly turned around, opened his mouth unnaturally wide with the uncanniest and the most horrified facial expression possible, and shrieked the shrillest possible sound allowed by the human larynx in the lowest possible amplitude*

Oh, he’s having another nervous breakdown.

*Limey screams out in agony*

It’s been ten chapters, for your reference.

Nine: Hey! Limey! ‘You alright?!

*Limey's balance falters; he kneels down and covers his face with his hands, still shrieking the bizarre shrill. Nine and Six rush to the kid and hold him up, trying to comfort him with head-pats and rubs*

Six: Yoshi, yoshi, yoshi, yoshi – daijobu, daijobu desu, Limey-chan. Relax. You can relax.

Nine: Calm down, Limey, what happened? You can tell us.

Limey (stuttering): I-in my wor-world… In my world… In… Infini- In… My world… Infinite… Infinity… World… In…

Eight: Sigh, relax, Limey. We can't understand you.

Can I just say what he wants to say, for him?

Six: Shut up, jerk!

Merlin: That would be quite rude, brüther.

Bene, if you say so. *Shrug*

Limey: I… I'm sorry… Just-just give me a moment… I was just… I was just shocked… shocked at the sheer – slight and belittlement – of an Infinite Being… of a God… like… like… th-that!

Eight: We all are.

Limey: No… I mean… In my world… Since the day I was born, we have all looked up to Infinite Beings as Deities… and Gods… and Divine Beings… We were starved, denigrated, and tortured… to grow up to become like them… Our Chief Martial… our Chief Martial was said to be the Strongest of the Gods, far above other – as Mr Holmes calls them – Unary Infinite Beings…

Sherlock: Indeed. The General was truly formidable even for the highest tiers of Binary Infinite Beings – his Realm of Colours confuddled me for quite a while, before I decided to erase him from his timeline. I had no other choice.

Limey: I understand, Mr Holmes… Such is the cruelty of war… And… The mere mind of me couldn't comprehend the workings of defeating the God of Colours… by Time Himself… And now… Space… Space Herself… Space Herself was casually played around… like… like a joke… by… the unfathomable President… The Unfathomable… God… This is… s-so paradoxical… I am s-so sor-sorry…

Oh, I am no God or stuff – I am just a bored guy who likes to mess around for fun.

Merlin: You know that's… that's exactly his point… right?

Fair enough.

Six: Relax, Limey-chan, you will get used to it soon enough…

Limey: I… (squeak)… hope so…

Nine: Sigh… You just had to go on and add another existential crisis to my day, didn’t you, Salai?

*Shrugs*

Eight: *Facepalm*

Itaque, what will you do now, Sherlock?

Sherlock: A humble request to you, Honourable President.

Nope.

Sherlock: …Why not?

Merlin: Hey, c’mon, at least let him finish his request – don’t flex your omniscience that hard-

We are kinda over the final quarter of this chapter, and we haven’t even done the plot relevant thing that will start the next mini-arc. That’s why.

Merlin: …

Eight: Facepalm

Six: What are you even talking about-?

Anyway, I guess I can help y’all in doing one thing before going.

Sherlock: May I ask what that is?

Vos can go straight to BOTSAMA’s world for an on-ground inspection, if you want to. Want me to send you there?

Sherlock: Um… Sure – but I would need to talk to my secreta-

Alrighty then, all the best – here you go!

*Snap*

*Nine, Six, Sherlock, Eight, and Limey – abruptly disapparate*

Alright, now that that’s done-

Quill: …My wisdom isn’t quite profound, but I am quite sure I was not even supposed to take part in this conversation nor be present here-

Oh, right, sorry – my bad. You’re gonna be a major character for the rest of the cours, gotta send you over to Nine and the rest for trauma bonding. Vale!

*Snap*

*Quill disappears*

Merlin: Why am I still here… just to suffer?

Yup!

*Merlin sits down as a rock manifests beneath him and sighs a heavy sigh, holding his wooden staff in such a slanted way that his forehead rests on the curvy top and the tapering bottom lies on the pavement, looking downward and regretting all his life choices*

Well, calm down, amice - relax. Do you want me to regale you with the tale of me solo-ing all fiction or do you want a good pizza or an omni-vegetable salad?

Merlin: Sigh…

Hey, man! There’s still a fifth of the chapter left to narrate! Get up!

Merlin: Sigh… I will take the salad, thanks.

I will take the pizza then! Here you go!

*A humongous plate of vegetable salad containing pieces from thousands of plants from millions of planets is handed over to Merlin, and a fresh aroma of olive oil and garlic emanates from the newly-made pizza*

Merlin: That… actually looks surprisingly good, brüther.

I know, right?

*Merlin leaves his staff, picks up several pieces of spinach, carrots, yelemig, and pberot one after another as his anxiety gradually peters out – visually speaking*

Merlin: Surprisingly, smackien good.

I know, right?

Merlin: Allmǣst so good that it makes me forget that you basically trapped all of them into a prison that should be impossible to permeate, as Miaokuran probably got on high alert after randomly being summoned in and out of a random world that she was keeping a strict eye on.

Hehe…

Merlin: Sigh… Don’t ‘hehe’ me…

Hehe…

Merlin: Facepalm

Anyway, wanna head over to the author’s world?

Merlin: Hwat?

No, I’m serious, let’s mess with the author and his friends.

Merlin: Not again…

Ita, again! Let’s go!

*Swoop*

*An alacritous transfer of scene to the living room of an average middle-class Indian family – the author, an average Bengali teenager, lies on a mattress on the floor while fidgeting with his 6-year-old, broken-screen smartphone*

Oh, it's the author and his friend T chatting again – what are they chatting about?

*T sends an image of a Python Programming app next to a Jawline Exercise app next to a Language Learning app with a certain quirky owl as its mascot under the title ‘More Apps to Try’. T writes a message underneath: ‘Bro the aura’*

Merlin: What are we doing here?

Messing around.

Merlin: Why are we ethereal…?

Because we don’t want the author and his family to detect us.

Merlin: What’s even the point of this random fourth wall-breaking segue?

You’ll see.

author (sending a voice message): Amar eta dekhe oi Chinese gaan-tar kotha mone porlo: Wo Xing Shi ju-jauio-ghebfdsouo - *random gibberish* - Wo Xing Shi - *more random gibberish*. Oi gaan ta. Amar mone nei. Literally. Lyrics mone nei. Literally - Fo - ‘Wo Xing Shi’-chhara kichhu mone nei. (I remembered that Chinese music after seeing this: Wo Xing Shi - *random gibberish* – Wo Xing Shi - *more random gibberish*. That song. Literally. Can’t recall the lyrics. Literally - Fo - can’t recall nothing ‘cept ‘Wo Xing Shi’)

*After a bit, T replies with another couple of voice messages*

T (in a voice message): Keno otai meme hishaab-e chole, taai jonno. Bhai tui aura ta dekh, bhai – ekhaane tor jaw-leveling cholchhe, coding-leveling cholchhe, dia - I mean - language-leveling cholchhe bhai – Tin-te, bhai, big player achhe, bhai. (‘Coz this goes as a meme, that’s why. Bro, just look at the aura, bro – it’s jaw-leveling, coding-leveling, dialogue - I mean - language-leveling all at once, bro – all three at once, bro, big players, bro.)

*Ping-ding*

T (in a voice message): Randomly suggestion elo - ami trai - I mean - trai-train-er app dekhchhilam. Ei tin-te chole elo, train-er app-er jaygay. (They are random suggestions – I was looking for trai - I mean - trai-train apps when these three popped up instead of a train app.)

Merlin: What the hell are we even doing here…?

Shh! Here comes the fun part!

*The author types ‘Everything is part of…’*

*T replies ‘ ;’s plan ❌ Indian Railway's plan ✅’*

*The author replies with a skull emoji and types ‘Ei conversation ta Nine-e jachhe’ (This conversation is going into Nine)*

Merlin: …What level of authorial misdemeanor is this…? What does this even mean? Why are we even he-?

Because Paadruman approved.

*The ethereal form of Merlin bangs his head with his ethereal wooden staff and then tries to bash his head into the real wall and fails miserably because he forgot he is ethereal at the moment*

Now, my dear readers, you might wonder, “What does ;’s plan even mean?”

Merlin: …How are you pronouncing ‘semi-colon’ like… ;? Like, huh? Even I am doing that right now? I am pronouncing the symbol ;! ;? ;. Brüther! ;!

Yup, ;.

Merlin: Hwat on Earth…? You know what, never mind. What’s ;’s plan?

It’s basically an in-joke between the author and his friend T about another friend, ;, who defies conventional conversational logic to such an extent that he breaks through the ceiling and comes back right through the floor. That’s ;’s plan.

Merlin: Hwat?

He is so stupid that he passively bends reality around himself that it simultaneously benefits and screws him over.

Merlin: Hwat?

That’s why he will be one of the major semi-antagonists of the next cour, he will be the Tertiary Infinite Being of Logic.

Merlin: Wait, hwat? You can’t just make up a random Tertiary Infinite Being like th- Oh wait, never mind – I forgot who you are, brüther. Sigh.

Ita. So, Merlin, amice, you have to complete the rest of the chapter with a narration of a multiversal battle with an alternate version of T and ;! I am gonna play with Golly meanwhile – after all, I promised her. Here, have my Auto-Diary.

*Snap*

*A thick leather-bound notebook appears*

Here you go!

Merlin: Sigh… Sure, I guess…? I am not surprised by anything at this point…

Here we go! Lights! Camera! And… Action!

*Complete fade to black. A dark void. Thunderclap and flash*

Vale!

*Swoop*

Merlin: Is this… a braneworld…? Damn it… I am tired of dealing with this guy… Why did I even accept this job as a narrator…?

*Swoop*

No moping!

*Swoop*

Merlin: Sigh… I have the worst employer ever…

*A stark, repeating, low-pitched set of echoes – footsteps*

Merlin: Someone's approaching.

*The echoes intensified, as if the boots are being pressed harder against the floor and approaching fast*

Merlin: Someone's definitely approaching in this braneworld… walking with so much gravity… on gravity. How - you ask? Because, the one approaching is Gravity.

*Another set of footsteps arise, languid steps in tandem with that of the jackboots – a pair of flip‐flops*

Merlin: Oh, another contender in the room?

*The flip-flops’ frequency flagellate flippantly, fretting like feathers-*

Merlin: Hey, what the hell is going on with the script? That doesn’t even make sen-

*A jazzy saxophone plays in the background as a football quantum tunnels through Merlin’s body and then does a 180 to hit him in the head*

Merlin: Hwat… the… HELL????

T: Yokoso, watashi no average ; society.

Merlin: Nanda kore wa? Wait, why am I speaking Japanese-?

*The noise of the jackboots grind to a halt as a man wearing a pair of shimmering, iridescent sunglasses – styling a Supreme hoodie and a black, North Face jacket – stops just in front of Merlin*

T: I am sorry, Merlin, but uh - ektu side hoye gele bhalo hoy (it’d be nice if you’d step aside).

Merlin: Huh?

T: The thing is… ami aapnar security-r guarantee dite paarbo na (I can’t guarantee your security).

Merlin: Huh? I am Knowledge, I am Wisdom itself! I need no protec-!

T: The laws of Logic don’t apply here anymore… He is approaching…

*The noise of the flip-flops draw near and nearer, before a ‘shadow’ of light appeared in the dark braneworld*

T: He is here… Hide!

*The flip-flops’ clap-clops stops… and a brilliant shadow erupts from the abyss of spacetime manifolds*

T: ;, ebar hoyei jaak. Ami ar tui, one on one, final battle. (;, let’s do this. You and I, one on one, final battle.)

*The bedazzlement gives way to a speck of light, as a lean and thin young man walks into Merlin and T’s field of vision. He is wearing a lime green Indian ganji (vest) and maroon shorts as well as Indian chappal, with his hands in the little side-pockets of his shorts – grinning ear to ear*

Merlin: …What’s even happening…?

*Swoop*

Uh, I did tell you. It’s their final battle – the end of a random story arc in a random universe which we don’t care about yet.

Itaque, just sit tight and relax, you won’t be harmed by their battle.

T: Oh… Paadruman! Paadruman, please amake aashirvaad koro jokhon ekhaane aachho. (Paadruman, give me your blessings while you’re here.)

Oh, I am no God, but sure, beo te. Also, don’t worry about collateral damage, you can go all out if you want to, Merlin here will fix it later.

Merlin: …

Alright, enough exposition, vale!

*Swoop*

T: ;, aaj iss paar ki uss paar, amar kachhe Padoru-r aashirvaad achhe. (;, carpe diem bro, I’ve Padoru’s blessing.)

;: Dekha jaabe. (We’ll see.)

T: Author, *side wink*, let’s start.

Merlin: Alright, just wait a minute, let me buckle up-

*A flashbang that ripples through the fabric of the braneworld, as an instantaneous punch went through ;’s chest*

Merlin: So T has made the first strike, blasting through ;’s chest. However-

*; looks down at T’s hand that has penetrated his body, still having his hands in his pockets, and simply shrugs*

;: Heh…?

Merlin: -But Infinite Beings are not truly harmed by any harm to their physical form, as long as their Realm still exists. Almost every Infinite Being is barely harmed by even total physical annihilation of their bodies, except for temporary mental disturbances.

*T goes back, sweating, but smirking – with a twinkle in his eyes that could somehow be seen through his polychrome glasses*

T: Amar kachhe home-ground advantage achhe… Ami bhule gelam ki kore? (I have the home-ground advantage, how did I forget that?)

*T spreads his hands apart like Christ the Redeemer as a cascading sphere of black holes start emanating from him, rapidly expanding in all directions – evaporating ; from spacetime before he instantly reappears again*

Merlin: Typically, in fights between Infinite Beings, a ‘home-ground advantage’ refers to being in an environment or a universe or a dimension where one Infinite Being’s Realm has a greater influence than the other’s. However, it doesn’t matter in most cases as the other Infinite Being can simply create a universe or dimension where their Realm is absolute-

*The infinite cascade of black holes rips apart the brane world, causing spacetime to collapse in every point in it. Meanwhile, ; is just standing there being sucked into the infinite event horizons and disappearing before instantly reappearing – with a slightly annoyed expression replacing his grin, with his hands still in his pockets*

Merlin: However, since ; is ;, he doesn’t know how to do that. He is surviving just by sheer breakdown of Logic, as he is Logic – overriding laws of physics by simply existing.

*; starts walking*

Merlin: Oh no, ; is making his move.

*; keeps walking through the omnipresent black holes, phasing through them – unfazed – as his flip-flops bounce and make flip-flop sounds*

Merlin: Huh, onomatopoeia is weird – anyway, what is ; doing? What will his move be against an infinite barrage of annihilation? Sure, he is walking through it unfazed – but no one can win a fight by just ignoring their opponent-

T: Ei toh bhul korli, Merlin. (That’s where you’re wrong, Merlin.)

Merlin: Huh?

*; reaches closer to T and looks around at Merlin… and winks*

Merlin: Huh???

T: ; jaa kore, konotaar-i maane hoy na, kintu taao- (Whatever ; does doesn’t make sense anyway, but still-)

*; starts whistling and flicks at literally nothing with his middle finger. Suddenly, T, who was nowhere near him, had a hole gouged through his forehead to the back of the neck. Flesh and meat hollowed out, the ocular nerves hanging loose, blood pouring out of the laceration - with the cleft forming a gory ‘u’ in T’s head as black holes collapsed around ;*

Merlin: ;... literally maimed T… and made an infinite number of black holes to collapse… by… simply flicking away at literally nothin-

;: Etai tor bhul, Merlin. (That’s where you’re wrong, Merlin.)

Merlin: Huh?

*; turns around, smirking, to look at Merlin*

;: I flicked at the concept of gravity itself, this is a braneworld after all – and gravity is the only thing here.

T: Ha, but also… (Yes, but also…)

*T, with his mutilated skull, smiled and looked at Merlin*

T: He is ;, he makes no sense. O jaa khushi korte paare. (He can do anything he wants to)

Merlin: Oh… ryghte. He is Logic. He decides what makes sense and what doesn’t. But then…

T: Yes, I know.

*T keeps standing, even with the gaping hole in his head, and simply watches ; – who is staring at him uncannily*

;: Heal korchhis na keno nijeke? (Why aren’t ya healing yourself?)

T: Hehe…

*This time, it’s T who starts walking towards ; with a smirk on his remaining face. His broken polychrome goggles hang by his bloody ears, his torn-apart Supreme hoodie flails behind him like a cape, his now-scarlet North Face jacket hangs loosely on his body as he continues to walk*

Merlin: Seems like T has an ace up his sleeve… What could it be?

T: Oh nah, orokom kichhu na, just ekta experiment. (Oh nah, it’s not anything like that – just an experiment.)

;: Kono maane hoy na. (This makes no sense.)

T: Jaani toh. (I know, right?)

Merlin: T, you are Gravity, you know the gravity of this situation, right?

*Swoop*

Bad pun, amice, Paadruman not approved.

*Swoop*

Merlin: *facepalm* What am I even doing in my life…? I can’t even make a pun without getting roasted…

*Swoop*

But yes, T, your idea is Paadruman approved.

*Swoop*

*T chuckles*

T: I know, Padoru, I know.

*T walks up to ; and grabs his shoulder, and looks at him with his bleeding eyes*

;: Ki korte chaaichhis ta ki, bhai? (What the hell are you tryna do, bro?)

*T chuckles*

T: I know gravity cannot defeat logic as it is, because logic is… logic, and gravity is… heh, gravity.

*T then shakes his head and looks at the smug-yet-annoyed face of ;*

T: But, ami ekta jinis korte paari jeta ; paare na – because o ;. (But, I can do a thing ; can’t do – because he’s ;.)

;: Huh?

T: Who said Gravity needs to make sense?

Merlin: Oh no, don’t tell me-

T: Yes, Merlin, it’s time for the ultimate technique… ; ekhono jaane na nijer ta ki kore use korte hoy. (; still doesn’t know how to use his [ultimate technique])

Merlin: But, the multiverse-

T: Don’t worry, this is Paadruman approved.

Merlin: Okay… I guess.

;: Ki bokchhis bol toh? (What the frick are ya talking about?)

*T removes his hands from ;’s shoulders and takes a deep breath, before making the abhayamudra (Hand Sign of Fearlessness) with his right hand and the varadamudra (Hand Sign of Wishes) and chanting an incantation – with a serene smile, as his broken glasses fall off into the abyss*

T: Space and time bow into an agora, as I bind light like an anaphora – Realm Collapse: Absolute Aura Aurora. *Whispers: More jaa. (Die.)*

*As T performs his mudras and orates his incantations, the braneworld around him starts dissolving in ripples of flamboyant omni-chromatic light. Nothing can be seen anymore – there is no light. Nothing can exist anymore – as there is no spacetime. Nothing can b-e c o m p a c t a n y m o r e, t her e’s n o t h in g t o bi n d i t t o g e t h e r , e x c e p t c h a n c e . *

M

e

r l i

n : O h n o , w a it. I gotta fix this - or brüther’s gonna kill me. I am Information, I can do this- Ah, here we go, the diary’s fixed! The gravity of the situation has been restored and the narration can be continued now, great - oh wait no, light and sound don't exist anymore – Spacetime curvatures, the Higgs field, gravitons, mass-energy, and even the inverse-square law have all ceased to exist from all realities as we know it. T is currently attacking ; with Gravity, a concept that doesn't exist anymore and thus is beyond Logic – we'll come back to that in a bit. It is very chaotic right now.

Merlin: Now, if this weren't Nine, you would have been wondering – what does that even mean? But since this is Nine, you're probably either thinking, “Now what?” or “Okay, I guess…?” or not even thinking anything as you are that kinda person. However, neither the author nor that bastarde wants to just leave it at that – so, I have to explain the concept of a Proximus to you. Ahem ahem.

Merlin: Firstly, let the word ‘infinite’ or ‘infinity’ not lose any of their gravitas due to being thrown around more than 124 times in the novel so far - it is to be kept in mind that the scale and scope of this novel is probably far beyond anything you have ever read or watched. Even non-Infinite Beings who aren't even near the level of one can destroy universes through training and practice – like, even a pelican can generate a near-limitless amount of energy that can collapse realities; yet, they aren't Infinite Beings – and they are nowhere near one.

Merlin: Infinite Beings are Field Wielders who have become one with the Dark Field, existing as a metaphysical entity within it – or at least a part of it. They are on a fundamentally higher level of being as they are not bound by any physical laws, but metaphysical ones. If the Dark Field were to be thought of as an infinitely large plane, an average Field Wielder would be a mere point in it.

Merlin: However, any Field Wielder who has completely mastered their Natura ascends to being a circle within the Field. The being would have an infinite Field Signature, as they are one with the infinite – thus, they are Infinite Beings, and the ‘circle’ is their Realm. Now, every dot in the circle is an aspect, an absolute fraction of the Being’s Natura, that is present across Existence. We know, every point in the circle has the property of being inside the radius of the circle – thus, it’s the common absolute property that links together the Realm of an Infinite Being. This is what we call a ‘Proximus’, as it links together everything that’s near and within the Infinite Being and creates its Realm.

Merlin: Now, a Realm Collapse is the complete deletion of that absolute property, i.e., the termination of the Proximus. It is the omni-temporal, omni-directional, acausal deletion of the concept and essence represented by the Infinite Being’s Natura – which is basically suicide for a Unary Infinite Being. To reach a level even beyond that, an Infinite Being has to grow beyond their Natura – to still exist even after the Proximus of their very being has been terminated. Those are Binary Infinite Beings – but Tertiary Infinite Beings can-

*Thunderclap and Flash*

Merlin: Wait, light and sound is back? Hold up-

*Swoop*

Ave, Merlin, yapping too much, are we?

Merlin: AAAHH! You scared me there, brüther!

You are well over your word limit of 6249 words, amice. I think too much lore drop is gonna bore the reader.

Merlin: But - the fight? What happened to that?

Oh, that? T kinda screwed around with Logic by coalescing the cause-and-effect chain reaction into a singularity which ; had no counter against because gravity doesn’t exist – yet it’s being used by T, as he is the Binary Infinite Being of Gravity who exists beyond his being aut concept. However, since ; is ;, their fight is still ongoin- Oh wait, it’s gonna come to an end now. Wait, Merlin, don’t interfere, it’s going to be hilarious!

*Two bright silhouettes, one violet and the other red, flash across the horizon as screams and proclamations aggrandise themselves throughout the abyss*

T: ;, ami ki bolechhilam? Aaj tor ek din ki amar ek din! (;, what did I tell you? It’s do or die for me and you!)

;: Bhai, Gosick niye ekta kotha bole phelechhi bole eto rege rege jawar ki achhe? (Bro, what makes you so pissed off after I gave a random comment about Gosick?)

T: TUI BOLTE PAARLI KI KORE JE VICTORIQUE HOCHHE ‘JUST ALICE, BUT SOSTA SHERLOCK?! (HOW’D YA DARE TO EVEN SAY THAT VICTORIQUE’S ‘JUST ALICE, BUT SHERLOCK’?!)

;: Dekh bhai, ami Gosick-er literally just ekta episode dekhechhi, amar just dekhe mone holo- (Listen, bro, I literally just watched like one episode of Gosick, and I just thought that-)

T: Na jene sune kotha ta bolli ki kore tui? (Why the hell did ya speak without knowing ANYTHING about her?)

;: Arre bhai- (Bro, listen-)

Merlin: Uh… how did light and sound come back again?

Oh, it’s just part of ;’s plan. He just recrafted spacetime to actually talk this out with T as this isn’t exactly going according to his plan.

Merlin: Wait a minute, this doesn’t make sense-

Ita, he is Logic, he defines what ‘sense’ is. Now, shut up and watch the ending!

*T and ; exchange blows of ‘illogic’ at lightspeed - T continuously turns the gravitational constant on and off from +ve infinity to -ve infinity, playing with ; like a ping-pong across the transfinite braneworld. Meanwhile, ; is frantically flailing his limbs, head and torso while constantly screaming ‘Yamete kudasai, oni-channnnn~’*

Merlin: Wait, since ; is Logic and he defines what makes ‘sense’ per se – can’t he just do whatever he wants? Like, can’t the brüther just recreate the concept of gravity as he controls the concept of ‘sense’ and ‘causality’ itself?

Sure, but cogito that you are forgetting something crucial – truth is only objective to a single individual, when it is subjective to every individual.

Merlin: Huh…? Do you mean to say that for ‘gravity’ to exist as a real thing, it must be real to everyone else, not just one person? And since gravity doesn’t exist as a real thing across reality, a single individual can’t just make up ‘gravity’ – since that would be objective to him but subjective to everyone else…? Or – are you just tripping?

Ita… et minime.

*A forced, smug smile reflects on Merlin’s pupils before it turned away to look towards the battle*

Merlin: *facepalm*

Anyway, it’s about to come to an end.

*; keeps bouncing on and off T 69 times before he slips through T’s defenses and instead of managing to land a punch on his face, he managed to plant his lips on T’s – followed by the two slowly blinking while looking at each other with confused expressions*

T: What in paad? (What in fart?)

;: Eta ki kore holo…? (How did this happen…?)

T: Oh no, ;, mai gay ho gaya… (I am now gay…)

Perfect anticlimax, now let’s end-

T: Keno, Paadruman, keno??? (Why, Paadruman, why???)

Uh, because I am gay, Leonardo was gay before becoming aroace, and the author is bisexual – so can’t really blame me, can tu?

;: Hein? (Huh?)

Anyways, that’s all for today, you have fulfilled your purpose of helping me extrapolate more about the power system and stuff. Go watch Gosick together. *Snap* *T and ; disappear from the braneworld*

Merlin: So… the next chapter will be…? From Nine’s perspective?

Yup! Until next time, remember kids – Knowledge is power, France is Bacon.

Next Chapter: **