The Plight of Lord Habbernackle

“Kugo…”

The voice sounded distance.

“Kugo.”

Shut up, I thought.

“Kugo, wake up!”

My eyes shot open. I took a deep breath. “Are they still here?” I asked in a panic. I looked around. Empty, white room, uncomfortable bed… Was I in a hospital?

“Uh, is who still here?” Erin wondered.

“Am I in a hospital?”

“Yes! You almost died; you’ve been out for two days!” Erin cried out.

“Erin…”

“Kugo…”

“If the threat has been gone for two days, then why the hell were you screaming in my face like I was in trouble?” I asked.

She pursed her lips. Then, her face lit up. “Oh, they paid us the money!” she informed me.

I had a splitting headache. I grit my teeth in pain. “What about the woman?” I asked.

“What woman?”

My throat was so dry, I could barely get my words out. “Water,” I pleaded. Erin immediately handed me a gourd. I tried to sit up to take it, but the pain was too much. I winced and flopped back down. I let out a hoarse, perhaps slightly dramatic wheeze. “I’m going to die,” I groaned.

“Don’t worry, it has a straw,” Erin assured me. She brought the drink to my face. I turned my head to the side and started drinking. Erin smiled at me. “You’re so cute,” she said.

So are you.

“Just like a dog.”

I frowned and removed the straw from my mouth. “Thanks for the water, Erin. That’ll be all.”

“Wait, no! What about the woman you mentioned? What did you mean by that?” she protested.

“I don’t remember too clearly... She saved my life. The last thing I saw before passing out, was-”

The Little Park t-shirt flashed in my mind. I thought back to myself listening to a song of theirs before I was transported here. Was that girl from Earth? I took a deep breath. From the looks of it, I wasn’t going anywhere any time soon, so I might as well...

“Erin, we only recently met, yet we’ve been through so much together, haven’t we?”

She put a finger to her lips. “Oh yeah. It really has only been a month and a half, but I feel like I’ve known you forever,” she said.

“Exactly. So, I need you to believe everything I’m about to say, because it’s going to sound crazy,” I prefaced.

“I… okay,” she said.

I took another drink of water, then closed my eyes and inhaled shakily. I proceeded to tell her everything, from Allister Twain to my arrival in this world, to Mr. Matsumoto’s poster and eventually about the woman with the Little Park t-shirt. Erin listened intently. She appeared to grow more shocked with each sentence. Once all was said and done, I felt better. Sure, I still felt like death, but a certain weight had been lifted. A person can only carry so much for so long, before snapping. “That’s pretty much it,” I concluded. “Now, I need to know where that woman is.”

“Kugo, I’m sorry, but I didn’t see her. She must have left as soon as she killed the other monster. Me and the rest of the villagers thought you killed them both. They even said you could stay in the hospital for free, for as long as you want, because of that,” she explained.

Well, never mind, then.

I closed my eyes. “I’m going back to sleep. Could you please refill the gourd and leave it here?” I asked.

Erin clearly wanted to stay and talk about all the insanity I’d just laid on her, but she must have known she wasn’t getting more out of me. She nodded and walked off. I fell asleep before she returned.

***

I limped out of the hospital, using a wooden cane they’d given me for support. It had been three more days since the last time I’d woken up. The doctors advised me to remain for two more nights, but I had places to be. Many of the villagers were waiting outside. They cheered when they saw me. The waiter who’d told us about the case praised us the loudest. It was a strange sight. If you’d told me two months ago that I’d have a crowd of people lauding me as a hero, I’d have called you insane. And who wouldn’t have done the same? Unfortunately, it was undeserved. I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself a fraud, since I didn’t intentionally make them believe anything, but I certainly wasn’t a hero. I'd put my only friend in danger and nearly gotten murdered. What a loser, I thought, as I limped away from the crowd.

I asked around about the woman as we trotted through the village, but by the time we reached the end, I still hadn't gotten any leads.

Erin and I hadn’t spoken about what I’d told her since, though I could tell she was bursting with questions, as we rode in silence.

“Go on, ask away,” I encouraged.

She squealed in excitement and began bombarding me with questions. “What is Earth like? Do you also have horses? How big is it? Is Earth technology better or worse than ours?”

“Too vague, yes, huge but tiny and definitely,” I answered respectively.

“That doesn’t tell me anything,” she moaned.

“Then ask better questions,” I retorted.

And so, she did.

We travelled for another two weeks. In that time, we passed through two small towns, caught a bounty, solved two minor cases and trained hard. Well, Erin did most of the legwork, since I was still recovering. I simply offered my ideas regarding our cases.

We spotted a classic, wooden crossroad sign up ahead. It had three arrows: one pointing in the direction we were coming from, one pointing west and the third pointing north. The west facing arrow was labelled “Riefeld.”

I chuckled to Erin. “Wouldn’t we have a story to tell them?” I joked. During my time in the hospital, I'd come to terms with killing Halton. That werewolf made me experience the sort of thing that bearded bastard tried to do to me. Now, I had no sympathy. My role in this world wasn't as a promising high school graduate. I still didn't know exactly what it was, but right now, it was to be an investigator; and in this profession, it was kill to survive.

The north pointing arrow read “Brightstone.” Small letters underneath announced, “Two towns until the Kingdom of Boria.”

“Is it two towns after Brightsone, or two towns including Brightstone?” I asked to no one in particular.

“We’re almost there! Finally!” Erin cried ecstatically.

“You’re not enjoying the adventure?” I asked coyly.

“It’s been fun, but I always feel awkward about pooping when we’re on the road.”

“Oh? I didn’t even know you did that.”

“I don’t, I’m a delicate little flower. Now, let’s go.”

***

We made it to Brightstone two hours later. According to Erin, who’d not only researched the kingdom of Boria, but also the settlements we’d be crossing along the way, Brightstone was part of a fiefdom in Ruhe. It was owned by Lord…

“Erin, who’s the lord of this town again?” I asked.

“Lord Habbernackle,” she replied.

I laughed. “No way! You made that up!”

“I’m dead serious,” she giggled.

We trotted into the giant town square. The floor was made entirely of cobblestone. Right in the center, was a large fountain surrounded by religious-looking statues. The place was full of people walking around, hitting the stores and coming up to sell you miscellaneous items.

“Hear ye, hear ye!” a voice boomed in the distance. It came from near the fountain.

We walked towards the source; Erin leading the horse. A crowd was formed around a tall man in a suit and tie. He wore a top hat and bellowed into a megaphone.

They have those here? Man, their technology is all out of whack.

“Everyone, pay attention! It has been a week since the great Lord Habbernackle’s daughter, the fair Lady Evelyn, was abducted by a ferocious dragon! We have increased the prize money to eighty gold and a house for anyone who slays the beast and returns the lady!” the speaker declared.

“A dragon? I’ve never seen one in person before,” Erin pointlessly said.

“How do you know she’s still alive?” a man in the audience cried out.

“She sent us this letter just yesterday!” the speaker held up an open envelope. “She claims to be alive and well and tells us not to worry!”

“Then why are we worried?” another man shouted back.

“Because she was kidnapped by a dragon, you fool! Clod! Nitwit! Moron!” the speaker yelled out the insults like he was casting a spell.

“Erin, can dragons fly?” I asked.

“Of course they can! I guess an Earth person wouldn’t know about them, huh?” she smugly smirked.

“Are they huge, scaly, fire breathing monsters?”

Erin was dumbfounded. “You guys also have them?” she asked.

“Can anyone join the hunt?!” I called out to the speaker. The shouting made my ribs hurt.

“Yes, of course, my slow, slow boy! That is the whole point of my being here! Anyone who wants to pitch in is privy to the reward!” the top-hatted man replied.

“Kugo! Even for eighty gold and a house, fighting a dragon is a death sentence!” Erin warned me. "Especially in your condition," she added.

I chuckled. “Something tells me it won’t be that hard. And anyways, aren’t you paying attention? Dragons can fly,” I said, holding up the magical compass. It still pointed straight up.

Erin looked at me like I was crazy. “You want to fly a dragon to a magical sky library? What are you, a fairytale princess?” she mocked.

“I’m a dreamer, Erin, and that is my dream.”