The Plight of Lord Habbernackle

“Kugo…”

The voice sounded distance.

“Kugo.”

Shut up, I thought.

“Kugo, wake up!”

My eyes shot open. I took a deep breath. “Are they still here?” I asked in a panic. I looked around. Empty, white room, uncomfortable bed… Was I in a hospital?

“Uh, is who still here?” Erin wondered.

“Am I in a hospital?”

“Yes! You almost died; you’ve been out for two days!” Erin cried out.

“Erin…”

“Kugo…”

“If there is no trouble, then why the hell are you screaming in my face?" I asked.

She pursed her lips. Then, her face lit up. “Oh, they paid us the money!” she informed me.

I had a splitting headache, which caused me to involuntarily grit my teeth in agony. “What about the woman?” I asked.

“What woman?”

My throat was so dry, I could barely get my words out. “Water,” I pleaded. Erin immediately handed me a gourd. I tried to sit up to take it, but the pain was too much. I winced and flopped back down. I let out a hoarse, perhaps slightly dramatic wheeze. “I’m going to die,” I faintly groaned.

“Don’t worry, it has a straw,” Erin assured me. She brought the drink to my face. I turned my head to the side and started drinking. Erin smiled at me. “You’re so cute,” she said.

So are you.

“Like a dog.”

I frowned and removed the straw from my mouth. “Thanks for the water, Erin. That’ll be all.”

“Wait, no! What about the woman you mentioned? What did you mean by that?” she protested.

“I don’t remember too clearly... She saved my life. The last thing I saw before passing out, was—”

The Little Park t-shirt flashed in my mind. I thought back to their tour poster—one of the last things I'd seen before being transported here. Was that woman also from Earth? I took a deep breath and winced. My ribs hurt. From the looks of it, I wasn’t going anywhere any time soon.

Might as well.

“Erin, we only recently met, yet we’ve been through so much together, haven’t we?”

She put a finger to her lips. “Oh yeah. It really has only been a month and a half, yet I feel like I’ve known you forever.”

“Exactly. So, I need you to believe everything I’m about to say, because it’s going to sound insane,” I prefaced.

“I—okay,” she said, uncertainly.

I took another swig of water. I closed my eyes and inhaled shakily. Then, I proceeded to tell her everything, from Allister Twain to my arrival in this world, to Mr. Matsumoto’s poster and eventually about the woman with the Little Park t-shirt. Erin listened intently. She appeared to grow more shocked with each sentence. I, on the other hand, felt better the more I talked. Sure, I still felt like death, but a certain weight had been lifted. After all, a person could only carry so much for so long, before snapping. “That’s pretty much it,” I concluded. “And that’s why I need to know where that woman is.”

It took Erin a moment to collect her thoughts, but when she did, she delved straight into business. “Kugo, I’m sorry, but I didn’t see her. She must have left as soon as she killed the other monster. Me and the rest of the villagers thought you killed them both. They even said you could stay in the hospital for free, for as long as you want, because of that,” she explained.

Damn. Never mind, then.

I closed my eyes. “I’m going back to sleep. Could you please refill the gourd and leave it here?” I asked.

Erin clearly wanted to stay and talk about all the insanity I’d just laid on her, but she must have known she wasn’t getting more out of me. She nodded and walked off. “Make sure you don’t pee the bed!” she loudly said, as she exited the room.

Too tired to scowl, I fell asleep before she returned.

***

I limped out of the hospital, using a wooden cane the hospital had given me for support. It had been three more days since I’d first woken up. The doctors advised me to remain for two more nights, but I had places to be. Many of the villagers were waiting outside. They cheered when they saw me. The waiter who’d told us about the case was telling anyone who’d listen about his minimal involvement in the affair. It was a strange sight. If you’d told me two months ago that I would have a crowd of people lauding me as a hero, I’d have called you insane. Unfortunately, it was undeserved. I wouldn’t go so far as to call myself a fraud, since I didn’t intentionally make them believe anything, but I certainly wasn’t a hero. I'd put my only friend in danger and had needed to be saved from my own hubris. What a loser, I thought, as I limped away from the crowd.

I asked around about the woman as we trotted through the village. Unfortunately, by the time we reached the end, I still hadn't gotten any leads.

Now out of the village, we rode in silence. Erin and I hadn’t spoken about what I’d told her since then, but I could tell she was bursting with questions.

“Go on, ask away,” I sighed.

She squealed in excitement and began bombarding me with questions. “What is Earth like? How big is it? Do you also have horses? Is Earth technology better or worse than ours?”

“Too vague, huge yet tiny, yes and definitely,” I answered respectively.

“That doesn’t tell me anything,” she moaned.

“Then ask better questions,” I retorted.

And so, she did.

We travelled for another two weeks. In that time, we passed through two small towns, caught a bounty, solved two minor cases and trained hard. Well, Erin did most of the legwork, since I was still recovering. I simply offered my ideas regarding our cases and critiqued her combat technique. It was a peaceful time.

Ultimately, we spotted a classic, wooden crossroad sign up ahead. It had three arrows: one pointing in the direction we were coming from, one aimed west and the third pointing north. The west facing arrow was labelled “Riefeld.”

I chuckled to Erin. “Wouldn’t we have a story to tell them?” I joked. During my time in the hospital, I'd come to terms with killing Halton. That werewolf had made me experience the sort of thing the bearded bastard had tried to do to me. I no longer had any sympathy for him. My role in this world wasn't as a promising high school graduate. I still didn't know exactly what it was, but right now, I was set on being an investigator; and in this profession, it was kill to survive.

The north pointing arrow read “Brightstone.” Small letters underneath announced, “Two towns until the Kingdom of Boria.”

“Is it two towns after Brightsone, or two towns including Brightstone?” I asked to no one in particular.

“We’re almost there! Finally!” Erin cried ecstatically.

“You’re not enjoying the adventure?” I coyly replied.

“It’s been fun, but I always feel awkward about going to the bathroom when we’re on the road.”

“Oh? I didn’t even know you did that.”

“I don’t; I’m a delicate little flower. Now, let’s go.”

***

We made it to Brightstone two hours later. According to Erin, who had not only researched the kingdom of Boria, but also the settlements we’d be crossing along the way, Brightstone was part of a fiefdom in Ruhe. It was owned by Lord… uh…

“Erin, who’s the lord of this town again?” I asked.

“Lord Habbernackle,” she replied.

I laughed. “No way! You made that up!”

“I’m dead serious.”

Oh. Okay.

We trotted into the giant town square. The floor was made entirely of cobblestone. Right in the centre, was a large fountain surrounded by religious-looking statues. The place was full of people walking around, hitting the stores and coming up to sell you miscellaneous items.

“Hear ye, hear ye!” a voice boomed in the distance. It came from near the fountain.

We walked towards the source; Erin leading the horse. A crowd was formed around a tall man in a suit and tie. He wore a top hat and bellowed into a megaphone.

They have those here? Man, their technology is all out of whack.

“Everyone, pay attention! It has been a week since the great Lord Habbernackle’s daughter, the fair Lady Evelyn, was abducted by a ferocious dragon! We have increased the prize money to thirty gold or a house for anyone who slays the beast and returns the lady!” the speaker declared.

“A dragon? I’ve never seen one in person before,” Erin pointlessly mused.

“How do you know she’s still alive?” a man in the audience cried out.

“She sent us this letter just yesterday!” the speaker held up an open envelope. “She claims to be alive and well and tells us not to worry!”

“Then why are we worried?” another man shouted back.

“Because she was kidnapped by a dragon, you fool! Clod! Numbskull! Moron!” the speaker yelled out the insults like he was casting a spell.

“Erin, can dragons fly?” I asked.

“Of course they can! I guess an Earth person wouldn’t know about them, huh?” she smugly smirked.

“Are they huge, scaly, fire breathing monsters?”

Erin was dumbfounded. “You guys also have them?”

I ignored her question. “Can anyone join the hunt?!” I called out to the speaker. The shouting made my ribs hurt.

“Yes, of course, my slow, slow boy! That is the whole point of my being here! Anyone who wants to pitch in is privy to the reward!” the top-hatted man replied.

“Kugo! Even for thirty gold or a house, fighting a dragon isn’t worth it!” Erin warned me. "Especially in your condition," she added.

I chuckled. “It’s not about the money, Erin. Aren’t you paying attention? Dragons can fly,” I said, holding up the magical compass. It still pointed straight up.

Erin looked at me like I was crazy. “You want to fly a dragon to a magical sky library? What are you, a fairytale princess?” she mocked.

“I’m a dreamer, Erin, and that is my dream.”