KOWAI/FEAR

2 days later                                                                                                                                                             My heart won't stop pounding,I feel as though the whole assembly here for grandmother can hear it.That dream plagues my mind and occupies my thoughts as the service continues for her.               Dad is a fitting host in his fine black and silver kimono that she insisted he wear to all events important.''She is...was such a fine seamstress"He muttered quietly to me as we began working on serving the rest of the townsfolk that came to offer respects,It truly is heartwarming to see the love for her being so easily shown but for me?                                                                                                        I want to hide,I can't cry in front of them all least of all my dad who is barely holding himself together for me.Mom not here keeps him barely in the present lately so I have to try extra hard for him.                                                                                                                                                                          Yet....                                                                                                                                                                        I still can't escape the dream,I can't tell dad either and grandmother is the only one I ever told these to.''Dad?We are out of the soda's for the kids,want me to get some more?"I say to him a few hours after the service and the kids still linger on to listen to dad tell stories of his world traveling youth.He passes me the money and I virtually fly out of there,on my bike and am gone,even with the weather becoming like a storm brewing straight from the heart of a hurricane I ride.                     Every crack of thunder is the sound of the warrior in my dreams thundering behind screaming shinsengumi,even loyalist samurai fled from the hooves of his horse,the color of blood splotching it's fine white coat.                                                                                                                                               I pedal faster as each strike of lightening brings to mind the sight of swords in the air in swift arcs not lacking in accuracy for a vital mark,The warrior himself clad in a strange armor not common amongst  any historical records I ever looked through,it was fitted and made to move with him,fluid motions and steady steps onward to any foe he caught sight of.But  if nothing else that only all strangely intrigued me,scared me sleepless yes but it made all the more curious and then only for a brief moment in the dream I saw his face.                                                                                                    The ivory mask that was smooth and milk colored had long streaks of blood down the eye sockets that were so dark it appeared like ink,the lips curved into a smile like venom found it's mate and submitted to it and for all this I was not scared simply because the lone shinsengumi that hit him once,a clean swipe of his katana that cut the mask in half down the warriors face showed me a unexpected sight.                                                                                                                                                  A young man weeping bleeding tears as he cut down the shinsengumi warrior.                                      I watch in horror of this in my dream and even now as it keeps replaying in my minds eyes like a movie,over and over the warriors screaming and the horse thundering past the woods and towards the cause of my hammering pulse.                                                                                                    The sight of me,ME,wielding a dagger in one hand and a wailing child in the other while that dark warrior nears me.His eyes lock to mine and I feel like death is heading towards me now,I clutch the locket grandmother left for me,a wooden carved locket with a carving of a tiger shrouded by sakura blossoms,hand painted perfectly with shadows around it and both last night and just now in doing that it happens.                                                                                                                                      The warriors eyes in soften in surprise and affection.                                                                                     "Sakura.....my love....forgive me!"