OKIRO/WAKE UP

The feel of the carving is somehow relaxing to me,I have tossed and turned all night trying not to listen to this near incessant downpour of rain.Dad is trying to busy himself by reciting the hyakunin poems in his low but gentle timbered voice,grandmother and mom always loved it when he would recite those poems or anything really,so do I but right now all my brain is focused on is the sight of the warrior grandmother and I sought for,the sight of watching myself holding a weapon and a child in my hand as though to....to...."oh not again....."I mutter running to throw up my horrors and hoping it is nothing but symptoms of grief or guilt that I couldn't be here for her last week of life because a school issue and moms car getting wreaked.

Morning.                           

"Dad,can I stay here for a while?My stomach is still turning and I don't feel well.....Dad?......"I call out two more times from the door of my room and hear nothing but the birds outside,I look out only to see tanuki-kun staring at me with his mischievous raccoon eyes.                                                          Strange how I don't even hear any cars and it's like...11 am?                                                                       "No way..."I check my phone which lights up for all of 30 seconds and the battery is somehow gone with a notification saying my wifi is off.I feel to freaked out to even speak,I quickly change into my uniform(I stupidly packed only it in my rush to get my kimono packed in neatly and I didn't have much room left in my pack)and rush out of doors.                                                                               My eyes have never even seen such a sight nor my mind ever attempted to ponder it in real life.      Battle.                                                                                                                                                                      Real life,fast and fierce battle.Young women scream and push past me while some young men and elderly cry out and forward towards the warriors hastening on steads hammering towards them,us actually and I'm crying out as each person nears me also gets shot by arrows or having daggers thrown.I learn quickly to crawl like a worm to the other end of the street that is all but a time gone,just like the warriors all clad in armor and the women wailing for the sudden fallen."DAD!'i call over and over trying to evade the loyalist that are somehow everywhere,there masks are frightening,the voices of the lost on there swords I hear cry in pain,in hate,in grief so much so it is making my head spin.My eyes find the old forest edge my grandmother would take me along on walks through,we talked about these very events often,and I try to flee running for a long while until I run up on four shinsengumi men,none I recognize from the books,who all eye me strangely as I suppose I do to them.                                                                                                                  They appear haggard and are covered in old blood that nearly makes there famous attire unrecognizable to my trained eye,there swords also seem to cry out but not in the same way as the others.                                                                                                                                                              These sound like they have been shamed......."what is going on??"I think to myself all while trying to judge what exactly to do.There eyes rove over me and I could have never though the shinsengumi to be so....no no no no"NO!"                                                                                                                             

Just like that.                                                                                                                                                           A grab of my skirt.                                                                                                                                                Cackling laughter mixed with the words"Let's have fun before we die!".                                                   Sword suddenly in sight and blood falls on me like I'm under a waterfall and the drops don't sing they hiss in rage.                                                                                                                                                   My last view before passing out is of the warrior wiping the hissing blood from his sword and his eyes on mine"Enemy or not,evil is evil.Run."