Profit Without Sacrifice

The training grounds were covered in a somber, inky curtain of darkness. Shen rested on his bunk, his mind replaying Sergeant Raiden's remarks and his new friends' faces. He was ultimately overcome by exhaustion, which dragged him into a sleep that provided no solace but rather a plunge into something much more disturbing.

He was thrust into a world of gloom and fire. The air, heavy with black smoke, shut out the sky, and the ground below him was a shattered, hellish world that spit flames. Overhead, a dark red light throbbed like a malicious heart. Faint, agonized screams ripped through the hellish air in the distance. It felt like he was pulling heavy shackles through a muck of hopelessness with each stride.

Abruptly, a chilly, eerie voice reverberated over the blazing planet. "You misled her!"

Shen's breath caught in his throat and he froze. He jerked his head around, looking wildly for the source in the darkness and flames, but he couldn't find anything.

"You misled her!" This time, the voice boomed louder and with a chilling menace. Shen's ribs were pounded by his heart. 

A surge of intense heat swept over him before he could come up with a response, clamping down on his chest like a smothering vise. With a strangled gasp, he jolted up. His chest heaved as he struggled to force breath into his lungs, and he sat bolt upright. His brow was drenched with cold sweat. Even though the room was silent, the ghostly voice continued to reverberate in the recesses of his consciousness.

Shen reassured himself that he was safe as his gaze swept across the well-known gloom of his rooms. The first rays of morning were just starting to show through the window's gaps, a dim orange brightness that drove the nightmare's lingering effects away.

He let out a long, trembling breath. He mumbled, "It was just a dream," but the statement seemed vacuous. His nightmare held on to him, too real to be so readily brushed aside.

As Shen honed his swordsmanship, the sun's ruthless rays created long shadows across the training grounds. His muscles ached from a weariness that transcended the physical, and sweat trickled from his brow. His displeasure grew as he swung the blade, each motion felt awkward and unsteady.

Raiden watched him closely, his severe features marked with worry. He noticed Shen's hand's faint tremble and the momentary hesitancy in his blows.

Raiden cried out, "Shen," his voice clear enough to pierce through Shen's mental fog. "Over here."

Shen came closer, staring at the earth at his feet, his heart racing. In front of his sergeant, he stood at attention.

"What's wrong?" Raiden inquired, his voice a little softer. "You move with hesitation. You have shaky hands. You're not like this."

The words caught in Shen's throat as he faltered. With horrifying clarity, the recollection of his first kill—the forest cannibal—flamed before his eyes. The dead weight of the knife in his hand, the gurgled scream, and the shower of blood. His soul was marked by the act of taking another person's life.

Shen admitted, "I... I killed someone," in a voice that was hardly audible.

Raiden's face remained fixed. "Tell me about it."

Shen described what had happened in the forest—the utter terror, the desperation, the urge that had made him kill. He talked about the oppressive uncertainty that now pervaded every decision he made and the shame that tormented him.

Raiden patiently listened while keeping his eyes fixed on Shen's face. When he was done, the sergeant spoke in a cool, collected tone.

"You saved your own life by taking another's. Although it is a great load, it is not one that should be ashamed of.

Shen's eyes were filled with a desperate bewilderment as he gazed up. "How can I be certain, though? How can I be certain that it was the correct course of action?

Raiden clarified, "There is no 'right' or 'wrong' in survival, Shen," in a strong voice. "Only action and consequence exist. You took action to keep yourself safe. That's all that matters. He touched Shen's shoulder with a hefty hand. "Avoid becoming incapacitated by the consequences of that conduct. Recognize it. Recognize it. Next, channel it. Make use of it to strengthen yourself and to fuel your training.

Slowly, Shen nodded as a small portion of the burden on his chest started to go away. For the first time, he viewed the sword in his hand as a tool for survival—a way to defend himself and the people he loved—rather than as a weapon of murder.

Unbeknownst to them, Zara watched from a distance, her gaze sharp and analytical. She saw Shen's reluctance, the faint quiver in his fingers. As Raiden spoke, a flicker of something—perhaps respect—crossed her features before she turned away.

Later that day, Shen found it difficult to control the spear, and his clumsy, tentative movements revealed his innate dread of sharp items. Raiden came up to him again.

Raiden made the remark, "You're afraid of the weapon," rather than asking a question. "Why?"

Shen acknowledged that he was reluctant to deploy a weapon that was intended to do so much damage. With a clear comprehension, Raiden spoke after listening.

"Any weapon has the capacity to cause harm. Its purpose, however, is decided by the wielder. It can be used for protection or to inflict pain. You have an option. He grasped the spear with the right hold, made precise, economical movements, and displayed complete control. "Your will is extended by a weapon. If you can master it, it will be an instrument for justice rather than devastation.

Fear slowly gave way to a keen, blazing focus as Shen practiced with a new attention. The spear in his hands started to feel more like a promise of protection than a sign of violence.

"You're learning," Raiden remarked as he observed him training one afternoon. "But there's still something missing."

Shen stopped and dabbed at his perspiration. "What is it?"

"You fight with an empty heart," Raiden clarified. "A leader cannot lead people from a point of non-existence. You must discover something to fight for, something to believe in.

Raiden's remarks resonated deeply with him. He had been aimless and adrift all his life. He started to realize, though, when he considered Lina's predicament and the promise he had not yet kept. He required a motive. He required a cause.

And that day arrived following days of unrelenting training.

"Today," Raiden declared, his strong voice piercing the clear morning air, "we test not only your physical abilities but also your mental endurance."

Armed with swords, spears, and shields, the recruits stood. They were given a demanding obstacle course that was intended to test their limits. It was a harsh area with high walls, prickly brambles, water-filled pits, and rocky soil.

As he stood in front of them, Raiden looked at each of them. "This course isn't only about strength and speed. It's about your ability to work as a team and perform well under duress. And keep in mind that the first person to finish gets to be the team leader," he continued, a rare smirk appearing on his lips. Therefore, act swiftly without losing focus on what matters most.

Shen turned his attention to his teammates. Kael stood in silence, his face unreadable under his mask. Kelly was completely focused as she examined her bow with cool accuracy. With his signature sneer, Fenix exuded arrogant confidence. Zara's icy, calculating gaze scanned the course as Toren stretched his wide shoulders. Shen gripped his equipment tighter.

It was a gauntlet course. They scaled slippery ropes over towering walls, crept through muck under barbed wire, and traversed shaky bridges that wobbled over wide gulfs. At initially, the team worked together, with each member overcoming the challenges with grim resolve. Even though Shen's lungs were screaming for air, he forced himself to keep up.

The last obstacle appeared as the finish line approached: a slick rope bridge spanning a small, rocky gully. Every movement caused the ropes to groan and swing, necessitating precise balance.

Normally so calm and steady, Kael faltered. His body hung perilously as he scurried to cling to the bridge when his footing slipped on the damp rope. The others continued, their gaze fixed on the finish line. Shen, however, paused. He could see triumph, the finish line, and the coveted leader's title waiting for him. Subsequently, his eyes returned to Kael, who was silently straining to regain his grip.

He pivoted. He sprinted over to Kael and held out his hand. Shen stated, "We'll cross together," in a forceful and uncompromising tone.

Through his mask, Kael's eyes widened with amazement. He nodded jerkily and silently, taking Shen's hand in his. One cautious step at a time, they crossed the perilous bridge together, supporting one another. 

Raiden's words rang in his ears at that very moment: A leader never abandons their squad.

Shen and Kael ran for the finish line after they successfully overcame the final barrier. The rest of the team had already arrived and was waiting with a mixture of suspicion and interest.

As they got closer, Raiden's angular facial lines became barely noticeable as he stood at the finish line. After silently observing them, he moved forward.

Raiden said, "Fenix is right," and his voice resonated with each recruit. "You didn't finish first." He stopped, his sharp eyes locking with Shen's. However, being the first to step over the line is not a sign of true leadership. A leader never abandons their group. You have merited the position of team leader because of that, Shen.

Shen gazed with disbelief. This was unexpected. Deep within his chest was the weight of Raiden's words and the responsibilities they held.

The other recruits looked at each other. "Guess I can live with that," Fenix mumbled, shrugging with a smirk on his lips. Kelly nodded sharply in agreement. Toren gave a silent nod of agreement. Zara crossed her arms as she stood there, her face impassive but suggesting a sudden respect.

As quiet as ever, Kael moved forward. He bowed his head slightly in Shen's direction, a small but clear expression of appreciation.

For the first time in a long, long time, something strange and warm blossomed inside Shen. It was more than just contentment—it was pride.