Chapter 21 - Landfill

I wake up feeling somewhat normal. The persistent ache in my ankle is now completely gone. And the nausea that clung to me like wet paper yesterday has been beckoned away, leaving behind a hungry stomach and a parched mouth in its place. 

I take a moment to catalogue the sensation of not feeling ill as I need to learn to appreciate the fleeting feelings that make life worth living. 

The scent of breakfast in progress drifts under my door, and my stomach responds with a rumble. 

Hungry.Thirsty. It’s comforting to have uncomplicated needs again.

Orville is already up and about, his back to me as he tends to a cast-iron pan sizzling over the hearth. He turns at the sound of my footsteps, his weathered face breaking into a gentle smile.

“Good morning, I was hoping the smell of breakfast would wake you. How are you feeling?” He asks with some concern.

“Morning, I’m feeling much better, thank you!” My chipper tone feels peculiar in my mouth. “My nausea is gone completely!”

“I’m glad to hear it.” He gestures with his knife towards the pan. “Would you like some food? It’s crispy pekoni and toasted bread. It will help get your strength back. Did you have either of these in your last life?”

“Yes, please. We had toasted bread but we just called it ‘Toast’. ‘Pekoni’? We didn’t have any food with a name like that.” My answer seems to satisfy Orville.

“Well give it a taste and see if it reminds you of anything.“ He brings over a plate piled high with thin, crispy slices of meat and a few slices of the bread that looks similar to what Elara served me. 

I take a bite of the meat and it tastes just like bacon, salty and smoky. 

“Ah this is just bacon, maybe a little fattier but it’s got a deeper flavour too.” I say plainly, in hopes it prompts no further questioning.

“Hmmmm ‘Bacon’ what an odd name, I’m happy that things aren’t too different here otherwise I’d feel like I am missing out on something I could never try.” Orville’s words make me realise that I am actually quite lucky to have this second chance. 

He then joins me at the table with his own plate and mug of tea.

After taking a bite of his bread, he begins “I didn’t get a chance to ask you yesterday, as I didn’t want to keep you whilst you were feeling unwell. But how did your first lesson with Clovis go? I know it ended with some drama with Roach…”

I chew on a piece of the pekoni and hesitate, not because I don’t want to worry Orville but because I don’t want to relive the feeling. 

Orville's relaxed and patient demeanor makes me feel that, after the honesty I've already shared, holding anything back now would be a step backwards.

I swallow, taking a sip of the water as I go. “Well she started off by teaching me what the three core expressions of magic are, which led to a practical lesson on visualisation.” I pause, tracing a pattern on the wooden table with my finger. “I managed to conjure a small flame, but something went wrong.”

“Wrong how?” Orville asks, his curiosity piqued.

“The flame was tinged with this strange, purple colour around the edges, and it felt cold.”

I look down at my left forearm, instinctively rubbing the scarred skin. “And then the scars on my arm started to sear in pain as they became purple in the same way the flame was.” I look up at him, trying to gauge his reaction. 

“But Clovis couldn’t see any purple light on my scars. She thought it might be some kind of phantom pain because it was my first time using magic.”

Orville stops chewing and rests his knife and fork on his plate. His forehead furrows with a contemplative concern. 

“And what do you think the cause of the pain in your scars was?” Orville’s words now carry a real concern as he puts together his hands.

I freeze, as a heat floods my cheeks. 

Am I going to have to disclose my ugliest truths first thing this morning, I was hoping today would be different. 

I feel an increasing pressure build up in my head as I run through all the possible ways to air out my past trauma to Orville without alarming him further. 

“I… I’m not sure but” I stammer, the words rushing out in a flustered flurry. “I think it might have to do with how I got these scars and burns.”

“You don’t have to talk about it now, Shikara it’s ok.” Orville replies in a kind tone. I risk a glance up at him. His expression isn’t one of judgment or discomfort; it’s sincere and curious. 

“Thank you Orville, I’m just not ready to talk about it with someone yet. I think I rushed things with Clovis and it seems Clovis thought so too as she suggested I take a few days off.” I feel like I am once again laying myself bare.

“Hopefully with a clearer head you’ll be able to try again without the same mental block. And don't let it deter you from magic, otherwise I’ll have to find something else to keep you busy with or Roach will continue to breathe down my neck.” Orville tries to ease the pressure with a slight chuckle. 

I respond with a half-hearted laugh of my own.

“Why don’t we finish up here and go for a walk around the village, that should help take your mind off of it. I can introduce you to some of my people. Hopefully we’ll run into Taelun, he has a great sense of humour!” 

“Yeah, ok I think that would be nice.” I say as I try my best to finish the remaining food on my plate. 

Orville, more enthused by the idea than me, quickly scarfs down the rest of his food and takes our plates away. 

“Go on then, go get ready!” He says, gesturing me away.