The Goddess’ Soliloquy

It’s funny how things pan out even for us gods and goddesses. Way back when, the God of Creation told me to protect and clean up all those worlds, I never thought at that time that I would find myself feeling satisfied by the results of my chosen champion. Richard is unconventional, rough, direct and has an undeniable charm in the way he does things!

When I first summoned him to the realm of the gods, he surprised me by how calm he was! You’d think that a human would be dazzled by being in the presence of a charming goddess like me! But he took it in stride, even if he did have some reservations in his heart.

The explanation of what I wanted him to do was pretty business-like. I was hoping for a surprised reaction from him, but having seen him in action several times made me realize that few things would surprise him at this point, even while he was still trying to make sense of it all. He asked a few questions regarding the job at hand and when I explained it to him I finally got a surprised look from him! (To be fair… it was only a rising of his eyebrow and a twist of his mouth… you really know how to knock the wind from a fantasy trope, Lover Boy!)

We must’ve spent a whole Earth-day talking about the task at hand and how he was going to complete them. During the conversation, he was nice enough to indulge me in a couple of games of chance and enjoy a bit of coffee while we discussed the conditions of the job.

“So let me get this straight: You’re asking me to hunt down a thousand Demon Lords across a thousand worlds. I can use any method at my disposal, gather any allies I want and keep all resources I gather for myself and my posse. How exactly am I going to live through all of that? I’m not exactly a kid anymore and, last I checked, humans like me don’t last longer than a few decades before we’re pushing up daisies. Also, I don’t know the first thing about ‘World Travelling’ or how to use fancy magics to do such a thing. So, this job’s not looking too good for me, darlin’.”

“You’re in luck, Richard! As the Goddess of Fortune, I can grant you a few blessings that will help you survive your journeys and preserve your current age throughout the time it might take you! Every time you finish a bounty, I’ll help you transport you to the next world and you’ll be set! Easier than rolling the dice!”

I was giddy and hasty back then… I wanted Richard to take the job and help me complete this heavenly task so I could become a higher goddess. It did help that he was a consummate professional as a Bounty Hunter, so I had high hopes that he could complete the request.

“What’s in it for me?”

Richard’s question was expected, but I could sense a deeper meaning to it. Having seen into his heart, I could tell that he wasn’t looking for money, fame or the thanks of the gods. I could tell that he longed for something more on the personal side.

“You can ask for whatever you want! Lady Luck will give you anything you want! A Goddess like me can make anything happen for you!”

“If you say so…”

I remember answering his comment with a scornful remark and acting in a childish way. I felt being looked down upon like I was a child! But, looking back, I could tell that what he really wanted wasn’t something a goddess of any category would be able to grant without forcing things to happen. 

And I know Richard hates it when someone, doesn’t matter if they’re mortals or gods, forces things to happen on people.

After more than one thousand years, I’ve been watching over Richard and came to realize that it was unfair of me to ask him to move throughout a thousand worlds for so long… he’s had to leave faithful companions behind, people who cherished and loved him set aside for the sake of moving to another world and collect a heavenly bounty on another Demon Lord. 

I’m starting to doubt if I really should be considered a real goddess of fortune. I have helped him from time to time when he’s been in a tight spot, but that doesn’t clear the fact that I asked him to suffer the loss of the one thing he longs for, over and over again throughout his journey.

He’ll never admit it openly, but I can tell his heart is close to giving up. He’s built up in his mind that he may never get what he truly wants and will just continue lingering around as an immortal bounty hunter, all alone. I feel guilty for doing that to him so long ago… I remember I brushed off his doubts of my power to grant him anything he could’ve wanted. But as he began to complete his bounties one after another, I came to realize that he really wanted something far more complex.

After he had completed his 200th bounty, I was getting everything ready to transport him to the next world when I noticed something that made my own heart ache. 

Richard was barely able to stand after he had defeated the Demon Lord and his companions at the time were worried sick about him. One of them in particular, was a young and pretty girl who held on to the bloodied Richard. She was in tears to see Richard so beat up but he just smiled and brushed it off. That’s when he spoke to her as he had spoken to all those people over the years and over two hundred worlds before…

“My job here is done. This means I have to leave now…” Richard was used to saying this, I knew it from looking into his heart. 

But this one hurt him in particular because of the way the girl held on to him…

“Please, Richard! Take me with you! I don’t want to lose you… I… I…” Before the girl could say another word, Richard leaned forward and held her closely. Her tears fell over his chest as he spoke to her.

“I know, sweetheart…and… I’m sorry…” When he said those words, the transportation magic began and his essence was being drawn towards the next world. She held onto him as the light enveloped him and pulled him away from her. Soon after, Richard had vanished and left that world for good… never to return again.

I had never taken much interest in humans or demi-humans, until Richard. But I couldn’t help watching over that girl after Richard had disappeared. She was devastated… her heart was broken and I could feel her pain as if it were my own. 

That’s when I realized that what I had asked Richard to do didn’t just affect him, but also the people that had come to be his close friends, companions… and lovers.

I watched this girl cry for many days without consolation. Her world had been saved and all people within it would know peace for many long years. But for a handful of people, it came at a painful cost. 

When I looked over at Richard after he arrived in his 201st world, I could see that his heart was hurting badly… I could sense the anger in him and saw him scream out in agony after being parted again from the people he loved all over again.

Am I really a Goddess of Good Fortune? Or did I give him bad luck because of the task I asked him to complete? I don’t think I deserve to be a Goddess if I put a devoted follower like him through so much pain.

One day I will ask for his forgiveness and I’ll join him and his posse for good. I know that what he wants isn’t something a goddess like me can give him. All he wants is a simple life with the people he loves… and no god can give that to anyone.

Just endure this last hunt, Lover Boy. When it’s done, I’ll give you a big hug and a big kiss and you and I can spend many happy years together. I know I’ll have competition, but I was here first! And I’ll be here last too… you won’t have to say goodbye to me ever.

That’s a promise I can keep to you.