Echoes of a False Morning

I suppose it’s true when people say, “as you die, your life flashes before your eyes”. I wasn’t technically dying, I honestly think this prison has safety precautions to prevent it but, in my dream, I was falling.

Before the flashbacks flooded my perception, I saw the clear blue sky. For once I was glad to be outside, even if it was just for a moment. The sensation of the wind flowing around me as I was in free fall was the greatest thing I’ve experienced. I felt like I was free from everything. But just then, I was trapped in my bed.

The darkness of my room was even more drab than a prison, go figure. The only light came from my computer screen but even then, I didn’t even have the energy to turn it off, I just stayed wrapped up under the covers.

Being back here wasn’t just a change in scenery, it was a change in me. I was back to how I was. It was almost like I was slowly forgetting everything that happened after college graduation.

Speaking of the last time I was in this room was high school. “I guess that doesn’t matter though.” I started laughing quietly at myself “Hello, me, my only friend. Isn’t it strange how I talk to myself more than I do anyone?” As I tried thinking of an answer a suffocating sadness came over me, I felt like I was losing something, something I cared about, but couldn’t quite understand what.

I took out my cell phone and started searching through it, I saw it was 6am on a Monday, I would have to be going to school soon, but that can wait. I rolled over on my side opening app after app to see nothing new. Not even in my games was there anything. “That’s a relief, nothing’s new, which means it’s all still the same.” Saying that cheered me up a small amount, but still, wasn’t there another place I should be?

I checked the time, 6:37am, I still had time. “Am I actually worried about not being at school right now? That’s new.” Even as I said it, I knew it wasn’t true. I started to pull my blanket closer to my chest, curling my knees closer too. I feel like I’m going to cry, but why?

Trying to catch my bearing before my sister tries waking me up thinking I’m too pathetic to do so on my own, I check through my backpack to see what assignments I have. I pull out a bunch of crumpled pages from where I was too lazy to put them in a binder and I start to throw out some of the old ones.

“This was from 5 years ago, 6, 5, this one isn’t dated, I’m keeping this one from middle school...” Next thing I know, all the papers are out of my bag, there isn’t a single one left inside. I check my phone to see what year it is, apparently only two of those assignments was old. I put the rest back, after looking through each one, stopping the longest from the one I treasure most.

It was an essay that I got a 100 on, the only 100 I’ve ever received. “I still can’t get over how they never figured it out.” I reminisced on the old, crumpled page, when it started out fresh without a single fold. I wrote this after having read a certain romance light novel, I even started with the same opening line Youth is a lie, it is nothing but evil.

“You gotta love how certain things go unnoticed by plagiarism detectors. Thank you, 8-man, you’re my hero.” A smile tugged at me, but it curdled fast. I could’ve written anything, but I stole someone else’s words and wore them like my own skin. The only 100 I’d ever got wasn’t even mine. “Why now?” I muttered, clutching the crumpled page. “Why does it bother me now?”

I stayed on the floor, using my backpack as a pillow as I began playing games on my phone. It was just something to distract myself from reality for a while. I found it funny how I had the energy to do this but not to turn off my computer, I can just do that later. Right now, I’m having fun, and that’s all that matters.

Hours flew by and a familiar irritated knock came by my door, “Dude come on, there’s school today, remember? Ugh, just get up already, Mom and Dad made breakfast.” She said that while looking upwards with her eyes, only to pause for a moment before looking around until she saw me on the floor.

“Why are you…” She stopped herself with a deep sigh “actually I don’t even want to know, just get ready jeez.” I slowly stood up, then looked down at myself confused as to when I got into my school clothes. “I guess it doesn’t matter, what matters more is this.” I finally got to my computer and shut it off for the day.

I slung my bag over my shoulder and headed out. Once out in the hallway, I turned to look beside me waiting for someone who never came. I stared blankly at the wall thinking to myself, “shouldn’t there be a door here?”

I was caught off guard by the sound of my name being called from downstairs, so I began my way to the breakfast table. A plate had already been set out for me. I smiled at the sight until I noticed a certain something missing. Where there should’ve been a bun of fresh bread was a slice of toast.

As I took my seat, I lifted the slice close to my face, disappointed not finding a trace of citrus but only bread. “Why are you smelling your toast?” My sister’s face crumpled with disgust at me. I understood her feelings all too well.

“Now dear, be nice.” Mom’s voice floated over, soft and warm, but it was like hearing a recording I’d played too many times. Word for word, the same tone as every Monday morning. I tried to shake the thought off, blaming it on too little sleep.

Dad peeked over the top of his newspaper. Only, it wasn’t a newspaper. It was blank, page after page. He turned one over, then another, like he was reading something important. I rubbed my eyes. When I looked again, the words were suddenly there, rows and rows of black text separated by headlines and images. For a split second, the headline spelled out something that made no sense: Inmate 10458 to Stand Trial.

I blinked, and it was gone, numbers and markets replacing it. My chest tightened. Had I imagined it? I focused on the toast again. That was safer. “Bread’s bread, right? Doesn’t matter if it’s citrus or… bland.” I muttered to myself before biting into it.

My sister shot me a look across the table, the kind only a sibling could deliver. “Seriously? That’s the weirdest thing you’ve said today. And you say a lot of weird things.” She turned back to phone not even a second after, she must be having a busy group chat today.

“Thanks,” I mumbled through the dry crumbs. “Glad to know I’m consistent if nothing else.”

But the taste lingered. Not toast. Not bread. Something in between, a hollow imitation of the loaf I’d grown used to in prison. My chest tightened. I set it down, staring at the plate, confused.

“Eat up before you’re late,” Mom said, still smiling in that soft, pre-recorded tone. But beyond her expression lay the faintest hint of concern, like she knew something was off with me but wouldn’t allow herself to acknowledge it.

“Yeah, yeah,” I sighed, standing with my bag. I glanced out the window. The sky was too blue. There weren’t any clouds. No depth to horizon. Just painted color on a canvas. And then I was at the school gates. I didn’t remember walking there. My phone said it was 8:02. No footsteps, no time passing. Just… here.

I told myself it was just me spacing out. Nothing to think about. But a pit in my stomach told me otherwise. I looked back at the cloudy blue sky, a part of me hoped the day ahead might be different. But before I could take a step, everything shattered.

I blinked once, and the school gates vanished. The next instant I was back in my cell, sprawled on the cot. My chest heaved like I’d just run a marathon. Every detail of the dream clung to me like damp clothes, too vivid to be ordinary sleep.

Aeris crouched nearby, hand outstretched as though she’d been about to poke me awake. “Convenient. You must be a light sleeper.” She straightened, brushing off her skirt. “Breakfast is about to start. Let’s go.”

Her tone was casual, but her eyes lingered for a moment too long. She’d seen something that concerned her.

I pulled myself up, rubbing my eyes. “Right… breakfast.”

More than anything, I didn’t want to sit alone and rot away in my room, not anymore. But my legs felt heavy, as if part of me had stayed behind in that other world. I think that’s for the best if it was an old part of me.

“Do we have cleaning duty today?” I forced a yawn, hoping it covered the unease I see on her face. “Or is it another day of trying to enjoy ourselves in the cells?”

“Not sure.” She walked beside me as we stepped into the corridor, making sure to match my pace. “We’ll find out after lunch.” I nodded, trying to shake the chill. The dream was gone, but the taste of toast still lingered on my tongue.