01.07 - Do You Hate Your Mom and Her Two-Hit Multi-Target Insults?

My hands touched the sphere.

Nothing.

Crap. Don’t tell me it was Level based after all?!

Murmurs started in the crowd.

A few beads of cold sweat ran down my face.

I tried again.

Same nothing.

Damn.

The crowd got louder.

One of the assistants looked at me, then whispered something to the master of ceremonies.

Another assistant touched the sphere, which began to shine dimly.

It faded away as he retracted his palms.

“Please, everyone,” the master of ceremonies addressed the people. “There seems to be some issue with the artifact,” he said. “Fortunately, we are almost done for the day. We will conclude the evaluation as is. Those few who did not have their turn yet will be contacted after we have taken care of the issues at hand.”

The murmurs resumed and the day ended in confusion.

We repeated the evaluation in private two days later.

First on the ceremonial sphere, then on two portable versions normally used for calibration.

None of them shone at all.

“This is puzzling,” the master of ceremonies said. “I’ve never seen a reaction like that, it’s like he has no potential at all.”

“But the young lord has shown promise in his sword practice,” Afred said. “I can vouch for at least some talent. He might be a bit below average when it comes to basic slashes and parrying, but the potential is there.”

“So, what now?” asked Aurora. “I always thought that there was something wrong with the boy, but this…”

The boy, huh? I thought to myself. Not the bastard? Holding back till we are home?

“We can repeat the test in a year or two,” the master of ceremonies said. “But as it is now, I can’t recommend the boy for any kind of higher calling.”

“What does that mean?” Dawn asked.

“Means your brother and I will stay at home for now,” Tia said while smiling and patting my sister's head. “So we can play lots more. At least for a while.”

“Yay!” Dawn said with a bright smile.

“Tse,” Aurora said. “Don’t think you’ll leech off me forever, once you come of age, you’ll be on your own.”

That was rich, coming from someone who relied on this world's equivalent of child support.

Not like I planned to rely on her or my ‘father’ for a minute longer than absolutely necessary.

Knowing that ‘come of age’ in this world seemed to mean around eighteen, I had a bit less than four years left.

Towards the end of that time, I had to get Dawn out of her hands, before Aurora could continue the cycle and sell her off like some kind of political pawn.

A few days later, word of the non results had reached my ‘father’, who promptly retracted his endorsement letter for Officers school.

The results were the topic of the town for a few weeks, until more pressing events took over.

There was a war on the horizon, and other related issues soon took center stage.

My father and his allies seemed to be the target of an enemy coalition, led by none other than ‘Seth’, the Elden Lord of a different domain. Not like I planned to do battle with my fated nemesis. At least if the goddesses words could be trusted at all, which was still up for debate. Plus, what could my current Level 0 self do on the battlefield anyway?

Thus, I decided to fully ignore this could be ‘call to adventure’.

As for my fate, it was decided to do a reevaluation around the time of my fifteenth birthday.

I was banned from joining any kind of academic or military community for the time being.

Leaving training at home, busywork, or beginner quests for adventurers as the only option.

All according to plan.

Well, not really.

It was a major fuckup on my end, but at least the promise of facing weak monsters to gain some much needed Experience Points was a welcome change.

In the meantime, I reviewed and sorted my newly found intel.

The most promising Classes for the future were ‘Alchemist’ and ‘Cleric’.

I pouched ‘Alchemist’ from a commoner girl long ago, but the Class itself was all but common.

It came with Skills for Potion creation, Elemental Transmutation, and the highest Tier Skill ‘Aqua Vitae’.

Potions were self explanatory, or so I thought, but there were many varieties to produce, and each individual Skill required special Items as ingredients.

Luckily, the Classes ‘Herbalist’, ‘Mycologist’, ‘Botanist’, ‘Forager’, ‘Farmer’, and a lot of related Skills were part of my new collection.

Combine it with my other combat classes, and I could take care of the sourcing of ingredients and refine them to sell for a higher price.

Potion Skills came with cures for most Status Conditions. Paralysis, Poison, Sleep, Blindness, and so on.

Others were cures for various illnesses.

Some were a bit more… spicy. Increasing, among other things, the performance during more carnal desires.

Elemental Transmutation on the other hand, as the name suggests, could turn what was considered lower metals into higher ones. This would consume higher amounts of lower metals and a lot of Energy.

Plus, there was an order to things. You couldn’t just turn lead into gold. At least not directly.

I did see some mining and smelting related Classes, but unlike some other children, I did not yearn for the mines. Nor the heat of a furnace. Hard pass.

As for ‘Aqua Vitae’, that was a life-extending elixir. But it didn’t do much on lower Levels. The ingredient list was as ridiculous as the required points for acquisition. Add my blessings additional cost multipliers that raised the required point cost into obscenity, and it was not something I could seriously meddle with. At least for now.

But potions weren’t a cure all.

They could help wound healing and illnesses, true, but more serious wounds or bone damages were not on the shortlist.

That’s where ‘Cleric’ came in.

I acquired this one from the son of a high priest.

The Skills ranged from cures to light headaches to the regrowing of entire body parts.

Suffice to say that the latter ones were in the ballpark of ‘Aqua Vitae’ and thereby also out of my reach for now.

Then there was one additional issue: Healing magic was considered sacred. Only to be practised by priests and a few sanctioned healers who had to pay an arm and a leg in tithings and special taxes.

The equivalent of being caught practicing healing magic without a licence was no laughing matter.

Then again, I didn’t have to actually practice those skills in public.

Having the ability to regrow a leg or two could come in very handy.

Still, better keep it hidden from the church and the holy inquisition.