01.08 - The Weakest Swordsman Began a Journey to Pick Up Jelly

My first visit back in town after my botched Evaluation Ceremony was with the adventurers guild.

This was the only game in town, since the master of ceremonies couldn’t recommend me for any kind of higher calling, such as the Officers school, or a magic academy.

This time, it was just me and Tia.

We drew a lot of stares as we entered the building.

The interior was slightly run down, the same could be said for the clientele.

We went straight to the receptionist, without engaging any of the onlookers.

I filled out a small registration form and handed it to the short, brown haired woman behind the counter.

“Yes,” the receptionist said, after quickly scanning it, “we do, in principle, allow anyone to join, no matter their potential, but this is a first.”

“We want to register as a party,” I added to my initial request.

“You and… your… maid?” the receptionist asked.

Tia nodded vigorously.

“I…” the receptionist stumbled over her words. “Just a moment.”

She returned with a portable version of the spherical artifact used in the ceremony, the same kind of model as the two used for tuning.

“We’d like to confirm that at least one of you is capable enough,” the receptionist said. “If this fails, we’ll require a short combat validation. We can’t send anyone to their doom. It is exceptionally rare, but there have even been instances of newbies falling prey to large hordes of slimes. We’d like to prevent any unnecessary casualties. I am sure you understand.”

“Sure, but I don’t think that will be necessary,” I said with confidence.

She looked at me with disbelief, then handed the sphere to Tia. “If you would be so kind.”

Without a moment of hesitation, Tia grabbed the small sphere with both hands.

It started to glow dimly at first. Then sharply intensified in brightness until the receptionist, I, and the rest of the onlookers had to turn away or even cover our eyes.

The blinding light only lasted for a few seconds, after which the sphere cracked and shattered in many tiny pieces.

“Huh.” The receptionist stared at Tia, eyes large and mouth agape.

“Want me to ruin a second one?” Tia asked with barely concealed enthusiasm.

“That…” the receptionist said, then paused. “Won’t be necessary.”

The crowd behind us started to buzz with excitement.

One guy in particular stood up and walked straight toward Tia.

It was the Level 41 mountain of a man I had encountered weeks before, wielding something that seemed like more of a lump of metal than a sword, remember? The dude with the missing left arm, and eye patch.

“Jo,” he said as he stared at Tia. He then pointed to a barrel two other blokes had used for armwrestling. Both of them immediately vacated the spot.

Tia just smiled back.

“Hey, everyone, ‘Big Boy’ Vs ‘The Maid’,” one of the guys in the back said. ”Starting Odds are 5:3.”

The room erupted in chants and yells.

A minute later, ‘Big Boy’ and Tia’s arms were locked in what seemed to be an endless struggle, with no back and forth.

Tia’s hand did not move even a millimeter, but neither did his.

The stalemate continued for a good five minutes, after which Tia began to smile. She used Transform on her chest area, which suddenly expanded by two sizes before turning right back again.

It was enough to make ‘Big Boy’ lose focus for a split second.

Tia used this to finally push his arm over the edge of the barrel.

He stared in disbelief for a second or two, before he began to laugh out loud and patted Tia on her back.

“I like you,” he said, “you're a good one. Let’s have a rematch sometime.”

‘Big Boy’ walked out of the guild while some of the disgruntled bookmakers were busy paying out the winners.

“Is he always like this?” I asked.

“Wouldn’t know,” the receptionist said. “First time his opponent held on for more than two seconds. Let alone win.”

She looked back at the registration form.

“So you wanna kill…” she made sure to double check, “slimes?” she asked.

“Any problem with that?” I asked.

“Seems like overkill to be honest,” she said.

“He’ll be the one doing the culling,” Tia said after returning back to me. “I am just his maid.”

“His maid, huh?” the receptionist asked.

The transformed chaos dragon in the guise of a maid smiled back at her.

“I’ll need a minute or two, and a drop of blood from each one of you,” the receptionist said, and we did as instructed.

The receptionist walked back into another room, then returned with two guild identification dog tags. Mine Tin, Tia’s something more like Steel, both with our names engraved into them.

“‘Grey’, and ‘Tia’, right?” she asked.

We both took our tags.

“Those double as identification in case of casualties. If you happen to come across a corpse and can’t recover it yourself, take one of the two plates and return them to the guild, together with information of the body's location. Whatever you do, leave at least one tag with the body. If there is only one left, leave it there, but inform us anyway.”

“You don’t think the slimes…?” I asked.

“Oh, heavens, no,” she said. “We haven’t had a slime casualty in years. Plus, with your ‘maid’ in tow, I doubt anything short of a dragon could take you down.”

“A dragon, huh?” I asked with a casual laugh.

“Oh don’t worry,” she said. “We haven’t seen any in decades.”

I chuckled slightly, while Tia tried her best to suppress a roar.

“Before I forget it,” the receptionist said as she handed me four colored bags. “Usual slime locations are the fields close to the north or west gates. Make sure to collect the jelly in these clean, water resistant bags. Don’t mix colors. One bag for each type of jelly. If you mix them up they won’t be good for sweets and we won’t pay out any rewards.”

“Red is common. Green and Blue jelly has a higher value. Make sure to keep everything clean. You probably won’t need the fourth bag, but keep it just in case you happen to come across a rainbow slime. We pay big bucks for their royal jelly.”