Fatal Error

After some time in the character edit menu where a player can customize their appearance with extreme precision, choose their class, and min-max their build, the group wakes up in a prison cell as strangers to each other.

“Ahh!” A young elven woman screams at the sight of a giant orc in the prison cell with her.

“Ahh!” A giant male orc screams at the startling noise the woman has made.

Narco appears to be the only one who immediately understands what is going on. “Free Stuff, is that you? Did you seriously pick an orc again?”

“Hey now, a man has to have his preferences. My first GodHaven character was an orc, and I thought it would be fun to bring back that character. Besides, you can’t talk at all, Narco. I can tell that’s you because the character is definitely a preset.” Free Stuff speaks through tusks, looking down at Narco with his giant orcish frame, raising an eye brow.

Narco looks flustered. He stammers. “W-well, you know. I-I liked preset number five.”

“You always pick a preset.” Free Stuff says with a sassy tone, and fists against his orcish hips. Both the elf and a hooded man nod. “What’s your character’s name? John Human?” There is amusement in his tone.

“Well, what about you? You picked an orc again. You always pick a monster character and go berserker tank. What’s your character name? Mr. Angry Orc?” Narco says still flustered.

A smug look spreads across Free Stuff’s face. “I’ll have you know, it’s Mr. Angry Werewolf Berserker Orc to you.”

“That’s ridiculous.”

“I know.” Free Stuff says, as smug as ever.

Narco looks over to the black-haired elf woman in gothic attire who is analyzing her hands. He then looks at the hooded man, who is looking back intently. “I’m assuming you’re Gambit, since you have the assassin starting equipment, and your eyes look like you chose the Shadowborn bloodline. A classic Gambit choice to be an edgelord.”

Gambit does not look happy at Narco’s comment. “I’d rather be shamed as an edgelord than praised for a default skin.”

“Don’t worry Gambit. No one is praising his default skin.” Free Stuff says as he pats Gambit on the back. He looks at Narco. “Cookie-cutter hero.”
“I apologize Gambit. And I apologize to everyone for spending my time min-maxing my character instead of redesigning my childhood protagonist.” Narco says as he steps aside and leans against the prison wall. “You don’t think my character model is that bad, right GG?”

GG looks up from her hand. “Sorry, it’s been a while since I played on a Deep Dive console. I forgot how real it all feels.” She gives Narco a once over. “I don’t think your choice is bad… because I think you did pick your childhood protagonist model.”

Both Gambit and Free Stuff erupt in laughter. “You’re right. You’re totally right. He definitely would pick a default character.” Free Stuff manages to say in between laughs.

“Hey, that’s not-” Narco tries to speak up, but Free Stuff isn’t done.

“Let me guess. I bet you pick rock in rock, paper, scissors.” Gambit’s laughter turns into hushed snickers as Free Stuff keeps going. “I bet your favorite ranger was the red one. I bet you pick the first thing off the menu when you order at restaurants. I bet-”

Suddenly there’s a banging at the cell door. “Silence!” A guard yells. “I was ordered to stand watch of you lot, while we await the majesty’s verdict. I will not hear any more of your inane ramblings.”

“I bet this is one of those NPC’s.” Free Stuff says out of the side of his mouth. “I remember hearing that the AI isn’t great in games of this generation. If I recall correctly, what we’re supposed to do is convince the guard to either let us go or look away. Though I remember there is an achievement if you actually wait for your sentencing for an hour of real time, the King will finish, hand you your death sentence, and the game will end early.”

GG gives Free Stuff a look. “Let’s not do that.”

Free Stuff breaks his whisper. “Are you sure-”

“Silence monster! I will behead you myself if need be.” The guard rests his hand on his sword. Free Stuff backs down, a little shocked at having to experience this level of hatred first hand.

GG approaches the barred door. “Excuse me mister.”

The guard immediately acts nicer. “What is it miss?” It is a stark contrast to how he acted towards Free Stuff.

“I was wondering if you could fetch me some water. It’s been too long since I’ve had a drink.” GG gives a kind smile.

To Gambit and Free Stuff’s chagrin, the guard blushes. “Certainly miss.” Gambit jokingly points to his mouth and silently mimics absolute revulsion which gets a snicker out of Free Stuff.

GG immediately sounds assertive once the guard leaves and puts on a more serious voice. “That should buy us some time. Now we just need to escape.” GG’s sudden confidence isn’t surprising to anyone, as she is like a completely different person when playing video games.

Gambit steps forward. “Now I could lockpick the door, but I have a funnier idea.” Gambit goes to the corner of the room and picks up the empty waste basket. He holds it in front of himself at an angle. “Now they might have patched this since this is a remaster, but there is an infamous collision glitch that lets you go through any door in this game.” Gambit runs at the door and begins to phase through it, but then his body raises into the wall above the door.

Gambit’s body starts to glitch and stutter until he shakes completely through the wall above the barred door. Then he is spit out on the other side of the door.

Everyone can see him trembling as his hands are in front of him. They are both open and shaking from the experience. He slowly wraps his arms around himself. “G-guys. I think I’m just going to lockpick the doors from now on. That wasn’t pleasant.”

Gambit unlocks the door and everyone escapes. They navigate the castle’s dungeons with ease, fleeing to the sewers, and escaping out the sewer exits at the rear of the castle.

GG tries to open up the UI menu to see if the quest is completed, but to no avail. “I guess the remaster did away with the UI system to not break the immersion?” She says, looking for confirmation.

Gambit looks at GG and shrugs. “That or maybe the mod we installed to enable multiplayer did away with the UI since opening up the menu paused the game in the original. Either way, we still have our HUD to view our health, mana, stamina, and level.”

Narco looks at the open field before him. He takes a deep breath. “I have to say, for an older game they did a fantastic job. Even the air feels clean, especially compared to the city. I might not ever want to wake up.”

Free Stuff stands beside Narco. He too takes a deep breath, watching the sunset. “I hate to admit it, but you’re right. This feels so real, I almost feel like I’m misremembering my other deep dive experiences. Were they really as good as this?”

Gambit and GG join them in appreciating the vista. It is a moment of silence as they watch the sunset. It is beautiful.

Then the castle bells begin to ring as loud dragon horns are blown. The four immediately begin to run and laugh as they flee the castle.

“What even is the plot of this game? I can barely remember. Like why did we get arrested?” GG laughs.

Free Stuff says between exaggerated breaths, “I think it was for trespassing through a random military camp, or something like that. It really is irrelevant to the plot, as it is only ever brought up one other time or something. It’s just what the game designers like to use as a way to begin the game, allowing players to have open-ended stories for themselves.”

“Are you sure it’s not because they don’t like to re-use assets between games?” Gambit chirps while waving around the waste basket he stole.

GG jumps in shock at seeing the basket. “Why do you still have that thing?”

“In case I run out of lock picks.” Gambit says, puzzled by her shock. “By the way, while there’s no screen for inventory, you should have a bag that appears to be bottomless.”

GG reaches deep in her bag and pulls out a coin. “Neat.” She puts the coin back.

After a long run, they realize no one is chasing them. Suddenly they receive a notification on their hud, “STAMINA leveled up.”

Free Stuff sits down. “I don’t know about you guys, but I’m exhausted. I think we call it quits for today.”

“I agree. I got work tomorrow.” Narco says.

Everyone looks puzzled at him since tomorrow is Sunday. Free Stuff pats him on the back. “Perks of being a code monkey, eh?”

Narco just nods while rubbing his eyes. “If you’re all still in town, maybe we can do this tomorrow.”

Gambit cringes uncomfortably. “Unfortunately our flight is tomorrow night. We won’t be able to make it.”

After a second, Narco responds. “Oh. That’s ok. Maybe I can find a way to host this game over a server and you can all connect remotely.”

“Yeah, that sounds great man.” Free Stuff says as he stands up. “Now, what’s the command to leave?”

“There’s a lot of ways to leave. Only the gen 1 console had the sign off command. In gen 2 and later generations, there is the sign off command, the UI button in the start menu, and the hand gesture. All I have to do is say, ‘admin command - exit’ and…” Narco stands with his arms and legs spread out, as if he were about to be beamed away to a starship on a science fiction show. After a moment, he realizes he is still in the game.

“What?” Free Stuff looks confused.

“Admin command exit.” Narco is beginning to look worried. “Okay, maybe the game or the mod doesn’t have that command connected, but the system has the hand gesture hard coded.” Narco begins pressing each finger to his thumb one at a time in a rolling pattern. After the first time, he waits. Then he tries again. “Someone else try with me.”

Soon everyone is saying “admin command exit” and rolling their fingers on their thumbs.

Narco looks around and realizes something immediately off. “There’s no exit icon.”

“What do you mean?” GG asks.

Not a single face among them is without panic. “The exit icon. There’s usually a pause or exit icon in every game. The HUD may move with your vision, but if you focus on your peripheral, you can usually find it in the corner of your vision. By moving your attention to it, it should either pop up a menu, or exit the game. But…” Narco falls to his knees. “I think we’re trapped."