The Kad Post Cup

There was no line for the uppee, which Maizy thought was strange.  Where is everyone?

Branch went first, and then Mom, with Maizy on her back. They shot up into the air, just a short way above the canopy. Maizy could see that it was absolutely full of tree frogs. Every twig or small branch was bending from the weight of them all.

As they descended toward the courtyard, Maizy could see an enormous crowd of kads—they gracefully parted themselves as Branch descended, shouting, "MAKE WAY! OUR COMPETITOR IS HERE!"

The crowd erupted in cheers.

What the heck!?  I didn’t think there were this many kads!

There were "KAD POST CUP" banners strung up everywhere and poles with wooden ribbons had been erected to mark the starting line. Maizy could see Pathy, Path, Grove, and a female kad—presumably Grove's mom—standing off to the side, holding flags that said, "GO MAIZY GO!"

On the front of the library was an enormous green banner that read: "WE LOVE YOU MAIZY!" Auntie Blossom and Willow stood out front, waving "GO MAIZY GO!" flags.

Mom landed in front of the starting line, where the Postmaster was standing next to the mountain kad delegation—it was obvious who they were. They were all white, at least twice the Postmaster’s height. One kad in particular stood out—he was taller than the rest, about one and a half times as wide as the other mountain kads, and looked like he could rip a building from the tree.

That must be Slope. He's huge! Is he even a kad? What the heck!

Maizy noted that he wasn't wearing anything on his feet.  I'll still crush him, hehe.  She gave a sinister smile.

The Postmaster smiled as they approached. "Here she is!"

Slope leaned over toward Mom. "I'm racing against a Proscribrarian? That's new."

Maizy giggled, and Mom laughed as Maizy hopped off her back.

"A BLACK KAD!" Slope stepped back, clearly frightened.

He's scared of ME?  Maizy decided that was the perfect time to walk up and hold out her hand for a shake.

"No, Slope, this is who you'll be racing against." The Postmaster gestured at Maizy. "Maizy Debugger! Our 8-days-emerged super-fast deliverer!"

Only the mountain kads seem surprised by my black fur... Mom must've gotten a message out.

Slope could tell something strange was going on.  There haven't been this many kads out to watch the race in decades. What are the tree kads up to?

Maizy clicked to get Slope's attention, continuing to hold her hand out. He hesitated, then slowly offered a single finger for Maizy to shake.

He flinched as she grabbed it, which made her laugh, "Khiiaaah Khiiaaah!"

"HER VOICE IS COMING IN! SO CUTE!" Someone in the crowd shouted.

"DID YOU SEE HER HOOD? GODS!"

Many kads rocked back and forth, and even some mountain kads looked entranced. She smiled as cutely as she could—she had practiced!—and glanced their way.

The Postmaster fell to the ground and curled into a ball, "Gods! Gods! Gods!"

Mom couldn't hold it in anymore and started laughing—maniacally. She turned to Slope, "Hahaha, Slope, you're in big trouble this wobble! My kaydee is just... The cutest!"

Slope was unamused, but he also lost himself for a moment while looking at Maizy. He hurriedly looked away from her.  Do they think she can win this race by being adorable? Fools.

He looked down at Maizy, then spoke directly to her, "I'm sorry, little one, but I'm trying to break the record." He pinched his arm, then looked her directly in the eyes. "I won't hold back just because you're a kaydee."

Maizy smiled and nodded. She signed, "I wait for you at end. SLOW."

Slope felt the onset of a teaching opportunity. "It's actually spelled SLOPE." He grinned, always happy to teach something useful to the youth.

Maizy grinned and signed back, "I know. SLOW." She giggled.

"Hah!" One of the mountain kads—a female—laughed out loud, then covered her mouth in mild embarrassment.

Slope couldn't believe this sassy kaydee! He suddenly had a great idea. "I'll be right back," he said, then ran and jumped off the tree.

"What does he think he's doing?" One of the mountain kads spoke. "He'd better be back in one moment or he'll be making paper for the rest of the week."

"Grand Woodmaster," the female mountain kad spoke up, "I'm sure Slope has a very good reason to do..." She looked toward the side of the courtyard where Slope ran off, "do... whatever it is he's doing."

Grand Woodmaster? Nook's master? He doesn't look very old.

Faster than Maizy thought possible, Slope descended from the sky. "Told you I'd be right back."

The Postmaster stood back up, collected herself, then boomed, "OAKER JO! ARE YOU READY?"

'Oaker Jo'?

"YES, POSTMASTER!" The deep, bellowing voice was so loud Maizy could feel it.  What the heck? Who just spoke? Wow that was loud!

It was difficult to discern the direction of the voice, but Maizy felt that it was coming from down below—somewhere.

The Postmaster leaned down toward Maizy and spoke softly, "Okay, sweetgum, here's how it's going to go: I'll tell Oaker Jo to start the countdown. Shrink and stow the letter then zoom off to the Stillhome Post Office when he says GO. Don't shrink it before then or you'll be disqualified." She handed a bright yellow scroll to Maizy. "Give it to Ledge—he's the Postmaster down there—and he'll give you a blue letter. You bring that letter back here and hand it to me."

Maizy nodded, clutching the letter as she hobbled on three legs to the starting line. She watched as Slope approached with a sinister smile.

Maizy squinted at Slope, What's he up to?

The Postmaster cleared her throat, "KADS AND DISTINGUISHED GUESTS! WE ARE NOW READY TO START THE THREE THOUSAND TWO HUNDRED FORTY-FIFTH KAD POST CUP. PLEASE STAND ASIDE AND MAKE PLENTY OF ROOM FOR OUR MOUNTAIN KAD COMPETITOR."

Maizy's eyes went wide.  THREE THOUSAND!?  How far back does our history go!?

The Postmaster beamed in Maizy's direction, then shouted, "OAKER JO! BEGIN WHENEVER YOU'RE READY!"

Suddenly, Maizy's nerves cranked up from this is fun to apocalyptic-butterflies.  She began to shake a little as she realized just how many people were watching—and counting on her.

"THE KAD POST CUP RACE WILL BEGIN IN..."

Maizy was shaken out of her shocked state by the sheer deepness of that booming voice.

"FIVE!"

"FOUR!"

"THREE!"

"TWO!"

"ONE..."

"GO!"

Maizy heard Slope give an evil cackle as she used both hands to shrink the letter, then slipped it into one of her poncho pockets. Then she saw it—out of the corner of her eye—a large yellow beetle.

The crowd jeered and booed.

"I SAW HIM DROP THAT BEETLE!"

"THAT'S NOT FAIR! SHE'S JUST A KAYDEE!"

She caught the beetle instantly, savoring its lemon flavor when the crowd erupted in cheers.

"SHE'S QUICK!"

"THAT'S A DEBUGGER FOR YOU!" Maizy could tell that was Auntie Blossom who shouted.

Maizy finished swallowing the beetle, then gently smiled and waved to the crowd like she was just the prettiest, perfect little princess. She saw Slope leaping off the tree and grinned.

BOOM!

She took off like a rocket and could barely hear the crowd's cheers as she started zooming toward the kittay village.

These new ascendals are awesome! Wow!  Maizy could feel the pressure of the wind against her face—it felt good, but it made her concerned about bugs smacking into her eyes.  I'll need to get some flight goggles.

As she soared over Mirehaven she caught her first sight of the kittay—they were all outside their homes and shops, waving and smiling at her. They cheered as she flew overhead.

Wow! I'm glad I didn't ask to be a catgirl. That appearance... Isn't for me.  Maizy was stunned at just how muscular they were.  These are all females?  They had thick manes like lions, and even the children looked strong enough to uproot a tree.

These girls are BUFF! Wow! I wonder what the males look like?

Just as she had that thought, a young kittay with fabulous pink hair lifted a huge cart out of the way so others could get a better view. Maizy was so impressed she made herself light, spun around to face backwards, and waved to the kittay. They smiled and waved back.

This world is SO COOL!

Then Maizy flew up high above the lake—not wanting to tempt any scary fish—and could see hundreds of boats filled to the brim with chessafolk. They smiled goofily, waved, and cheered. Maizy slowed down and performed the same backwards-flying trick to wave.

This is fun!

Maizy flew into the Stillhome Post Office and didn't even let herself touch the floor as she pulled out her letter and tossed it to Ledge. He took the hint, caught it, and held out his return letter for her to grab as she passed.

"AMAZING! YES!" Ledge pumped his fist in the air after the handoff.

Maizy drifted to the far balcony, pausing just long enough to shrink and stow the letter. That's when she noticed a mountain kad standing in the corner with his mouth open in shock. She smiled and winked at him, then zoomed out the other balcony.

Maizy took her time, waving to everyone over the lake and then over the kittay village. As she reached the edge, she noticed a great big, scary problem: There were dozens of hawks up ahead.

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What was that boom sound?  Slope thought as he was gliding away from the tree. He could already see the next uppee device off in the distance.

He made it to the device in record time, and he knew it. All those laps around the mountain village were paying off!

He didn't even pause as he pushed a carefully-practiced, precise amount of magic into the device while leaping on top of it. He shot up into the air and reached the optimal height he had extensively tested for maximum speed to the next uppee.

YES! This is going great!

Then, he saw it out of the corner of his eye: A hawk. Then two. Then three.

FRICK! DOWN DOWN DOWN!  He dropped as fast as he could and slammed into the ground. He reached into his poncho and pulled out a cube of magic wood, which rapidly expanded.

DAMNIT! No time to make a shelter!

He gave the wood an edge, sliced his arm, and sketched a hardening symbol in blood with his claw.

Slope started swinging—fighting for his life.

He got one! It rolled aside, wounded but alive, as more hawks swooped. Slope was absurdly strong for a kad, but his arms weren’t trained to swing such weight.

Is this the end?

BOOM! A hawk detonated into feathers.

BOOM! It happened again!

What's happening?  Slope looked around and could see...  something zooming back and forth in the air above. It was so fast he couldn't make out what it was.

Another hawk dove at him, claws ready to slice into him and carry away his body.

He swung his makeshift weapon as hard as he could.

BOOM! The hawk's head flew off, the force ripping his weapon away.

GODS!  Slope thought, as Maizy—her poncho soaked in blood—snatched up his enormous weapon. His brain stalled.

She's flying! She's really flying!  Slope decided this was worth being astonished about—unlike the fact she had just hefted something easily fifteen times her own weight.

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I LOVE THIS THING!  Maizy was zooming around, finishing off the hawks with Slope's enormous sword-club-thing. The ruler wasn't cutting it—literally.

In no time at all, she sliced the last hawk in half—the two parts of its body landing on either side of Slope as he looked up in wonder.

Maizy smiled, placed the absurd weapon down on the ground next to Slope, then waved as she zoomed off toward the finish line.

As she approached the village, she could hear something.  Is that music? Are they throwing a party already?

She flew up the trunk and suddenly remembered she’d heard this tune before.  That sounds just like Bleck!

Maizy started dancing in the air—she couldn’t help herself; the beat was irresistible. Then she saw the flashing lights.  YEAH! RGB!

As she made her way over the ledge of the courtyard, she could see dozens of isopods gobbling down rainbow fruits—each one beating in tune to the same rhythm.

"GUH CHIH GUH CHIH GUH CHIH"

The crowd of kads were dancing—naked. Maizy laughed and took off her own poncho, swinging it around in circles in the air as she floated above.

Haha, this is fun! I should go find Mom... I bet she's doing that awesome ribbon dance again!

Maizy looked toward the Post Office—just in time to see a Delkin pick up Branch and bite his head off.