Been Here Before

Sakura glanced at the devil walking beside her for what felt like the hundredth time. She had studied him the entire way through the city and forest, trying to spot anything unusual, any change in his apathetic behavior, but finding nothing of concern. Still, she felt there was something buried beneath the surface.

There had to be.

Why else would Zero be here?

Alone?

The woman breathed deeply, knowing she needed to stop making assumptions and just get it over with. “Did you and Ivy get in a fight?” she asked quietly so the man behind them couldn’t hear and interrupt with his unwanted advice and observations.

Zero turned to her, seeming somewhat set back by the sudden question. “No.”

“Are you sure?” the vixen pressed gently as she moved closer to the boy, taking his arm in hers and gazing up at him with concern. “I’m not trying to intrude, and you don’t have to talk to me if you don’t want. I’m just... surprised that you two chose not to stay together.” Truth was, she was completely flabbergasted and unable to comprehend their decision. It really wasn’t like them to not want to be at each other’s sides, especially in an unfamiliar setting. The two were practically inseparable. Why they would choose now to go their separate ways was something she couldn’t wrap her head around.

“We didn’t fight. She wanted to stay, and I wanted to come. That’s it.” His expression was sincere, if not somewhat confused.

Sakura decided to let it go. Though their separation had been unlike them, it didn’t seem like there was much else to it other than a difference in wants. “Alright. I was just wondering.” She looked over her shoulder at the angel following behind, stretching his arms above his head and cracking his neck. “You gonna be able to handle this?”

Ren groaned. He was feeling better, but the difference was comparable to being bashed in the skull with a rock eight times instead of twelve. “Yeah, I got this. It’s gonna be great.”

Oh, he did not feel great.

Not at all.

“Well, you better got this,” Sakura warned as she could see the black mass further ahead through the trees. “Because it’s about time for you to shine.” They came to the edge of the parasite and the demon observed just how much further they were from the wall now compared to the day before. “Charlotte wasn’t joking. It really is growing quick. Won’t be long before it’s in the city.”

“Are you going to be able to kill it?” Zero asked, seeing only darkness overtaking the land around it.

“Parasites and pests are basically the same other than the whole eating pissed off people thing. Once I find its eye, I can get through to its brain, and it’ll be a done deal.” She released the devil and turned, placing her hand on her hip, exasperated with the angel. “But I kinda need your help with this one, Ren. You ready?”

“As ready as I’ll ever be.” The man resigned himself to his most unfortunate responsibility. Why they couldn’t do this another day, he’d never understand.

The fox looked at the boy and sighed. “I guess just hang out here and watch. I don’t think it should take long. I’m pretty sure I know where the eye should be if what I saw yesterday was it.”

“Alright.” Zero watched as Ren wrapped his arms around Sakura’s waist, his wings beating down and they were launched into the sky. The two flew to around the halfway point of the parasite before stopping and keeping their position high above the creature. The devil looked down at the darkness in front of him and knocked his boot quickly against it a few times, measuring how dense it was. He took a large step back and checked the sky again.

They were still there.

It was almost time.

Crimson focused on the blur of cherry red against the blue sky as his hand reached for the hilt of his katana, the one Sakura had given him, and unsheathed it. Pressing it against his throat, he slashed the blade through the tender flesh and let the blood flow.

“You sure that’s its eye?” Ren asked, blinking at the white dot below them. He could only handle one thing at a time, and right now all of his effort was being placed on staying steady in the air.

“What else would it be? You see anything else that isn’t completely black on this thing?” Sakura huffed, not appreciating being questioned, especially by a man who was barely able to function at the moment. Had he had been of stable mind; she might take a moment to entertain his doubt. But as he was now? Absolutely not.

“You’re the expert.” He pulled one hand away from the woman and reached behind him for his sword. He brought it in front of them, and her hands wrapped around the hilt. “Where do you want me to drop ya?”

She guided him in small increments until she was satisfied with the positioning. “That should be about good.”

“Alright. Hold on tight and don’t die,” the angel joked. He had dropped the woman plenty of times from even higher distances onto pests, this one was of no concern to him. The only thing he worried about was how big of a mess the parasite would make and how filthy she would be afterwards.

He hoped she wouldn’t want to be carried back.

But he knew she would.

The vixen snorted and looked back at him with a smirk. “A true alpha never dies.”

The man smiled, completely enamored with the woman in his arms. She was insane, and he couldn’t wait to watch her do what she did best. “No, they don’t.”

His arms opened.

And she fell away from him.

As she had so many times before.

Her grip was tight on the sword, cherry tresses whipping wildly behind her, as she plummeted headfirst towards the parasite, enthralled with the feeling that rushed through her.

Weightless.

Freeing.

So much fun.

Her aim had been true. The tip of the blade effortlessly met the center of the parasite’s white, wagon wheel sized eye and it splintered open like spider webs spreading across clear glass. Unbearably bright strands of light began shooting out from the cracks, one ray after the other, faster and faster, before it completely shattered, releasing the pure light in its fullness, engulfing everything in its infinite vastness.

Sakura’s eyes widened at the fantastic sight before she was unable to handle the light burning into them any longer, and she snapped them tightly closed.

Just as the world around her was cast into utter darkness.

When she opened her eyes…

There was nothing.

Complete emptiness.

Void.

An infinite span of light and dark, both yet neither.

The demon raised her hands as she lowered her head, seeing them and feeling the joints move as she wiggled her fingers around. She was there, but it was only her.

Nothing else.

No pest.

No trees.

No sky.

No ground.

This didn’t seem right.

How could that be?

Then she remembered...

She had been here before.

And so had he.

“Raz!” she called out. A scream. A whisper. A plea. “Raz!”

“How do you know that name, little fox?” a honeyed voice with no form replied.

Sakura looked around her, spinning round and round, searching but finding nothing. “Where the fuck am I?” So loud and distant all at once. “Raz, where are you?”

“Oh my. You speak as vulgarly as he does. But he’s not here, little fox. We’re in Purgatory.”

Purgatory?

She was dead?

A small, oh so far away part of her demanded that she panic, that she bare her fangs and fight, that she run. But it was gone quicker than it came, leaving only calm.

Peace.

Acceptance.

Such a strange feeling for the demon.

It hadn’t been like this last time when she frantically chased after the man who raised her.

He wasn’t here now, and she knew he wouldn’t be.

He was gone.

For good.

“How do you know Raz, little fox?”

Sakura spun around to the woman’s voice, suddenly finding two beautiful women standing a little more than arm's length away from her, side by side. “You two were the parasite,” she stated quietly, uncertain if they had even heard her.

Both women had long, blonde hair, blue eyes, unblemished features, and wings white as snow. One woman rested her arms across her swollen belly, her wings much smaller in comparison to the other woman’s. While hers came a little higher than her head and touched just below her hips, the other woman’s reached far above and around her as the tips grazed the ground.

They were white.

Pure.

But Sakura knew those wings.

Had seen them clad in onyx feathers.

And had seen the flesh and bone that hid beneath.

“I’m ready to go,” the woman with child spoke gently, tears streaming down her cheeks. “Maybe He’ll still forgive me.” She looked down at her stomach, squeezing a little tighter. “Forgive both of us.”

She turned.

And she was gone.

No sign of having ever been there at all.

But Sakura still felt the remains of her presence.

The despair she left behind.

How angry must she have been?

How hopeless?

And the child inside of her?

What would it have become?

Would its wings be pure?

Or black as the night?

The remaining angel stood quietly, having never taken her eyes off of the demon. “How do you know Raz,” she asked again.

Emeralds shifted to look into familiar waters.

“Celeste.” The name she had heard but rarely spoke. Sakura knew that face though it wasn’t exactly the same: rounder, softer, more feminine. But she had seen the similarities in the man who had raised her. In the man that she loved.

Blonde brows furrowed and she stepped closer. “How do you…” She froze as the vixen pulled her disheveled shirt away from her shoulder, exposing the black feather across her collar bone. “Ren’s alive?”

“He is.”

“And my brother?”

Sakura swallowed. “He died years ago.” The confession merely a matter of fact rather than the punch to the gut that it normally was.

Celeste nodded, showing no emotion. “I see. And you?”

“Raz raised me.”

A small smile crept at her lips. “Is that so? My brother raised a fox and a Fallen One? He really was more kind than he let on. The poor fool.”

Time felt so slow, so fast, impossible to grasp.

She needed to know before whatever time they had was gone.

“That other woman with you.” The vixen glanced at where the woman had stood earlier. “You two, you are the parasite?”

“We were,” Celeste corrected, “until you came along. Quite the clever girl, aren’t you? Unlike with all those angels that tried to destroy what we had created, I hadn’t even realized there was a threat until it was all over. How did you manage that?”

“The same way I always do.”

The angel interrupted. “Always?”

“Yeah.” Sakura nodded. “I kill a lot of things. You weren’t much different. I found the eye and had Ren drop me onto it. And then…” She motioned to the emptiness that surrounded them.

Confusion painted the woman’s face. “Ren dropped you? Why would he do that? Did he come to take The Kingdom? Is that why you slaughtered my parasite?”

“No, he doesn’t care about The Kingdom.” The vixen paused, trying hard to reach the memories that seemed to be dissolving away. “He did it for some books.”

“Books? That doesn’t make sense. Why would he want books? Fallen Ones crave chaos. They desire destruction. They…” her voice trailed off as her attention returned to the black feather gracing the demon’s collar bone. “Oh, that’s right, he chose you. Isn’t that sweet? You must be an absolute nightmare in order to garner a Fallen One’s loyalty. No offense.”

Sakura shrugged. “I’ve heard worse.”

“That doesn’t surprise me.” Celeste chuckled with bitter disappointment, “After all I went through, all those years of waiting to punish those who punished us, only for my own child to destroy all that I’ve worked towards. I suppose that’s the way of children though, to rebel against their parents even when we’re only doing what’s best for them. How ungrateful.” She went silent, studying her son’s bride. “So, did you choose him?” The question hesitant, unsure if the answer wanted to be known.

Sakura’s eyes narrowed at the implication. “From the very moment I met him when I was small. For me, there’s only ever been Ren, and there will only ever be him. I don’t give a fuck if you’re his mother. I don’t appreciate you questioning his character, and I’m not afraid to kill you again.” She paused, remembering the dilemma she was in. “Then again, I guess that’s no longer an option.” Sakura reached up and brushed her fingers along the dark feather, hints of sorrow creeping in despite the inability to feel much of anything at all. “I miss him. Do you?”

The angel closed her eyes, a deep breath entering and exiting her lungs. “He’s not mine to miss. I lost that privilege when I created him and made him what he is. He’s yours. Take care of him.” Blue eyes opened and shifted over the fox’s shoulder. “It looks like our time is up. He’s here for you.”

He?

Ren?

Sakura turned to the boy who was standing just behind her.

“Zero?”

What was he doing here?

Had he died, too?

It was difficult for the woman to look at him. He was so beautiful, so tranquil, welcoming. His body illuminated with pure light, practically blinding her senses but making it impossible for her to look away.

Sakura could feel the pull, like a string around her heart, gently tugging, encouraging her to go to the devil.

Devil?

Angel?

He was none of those things.

He was more.

He was everything.

Salvation.

“Sakura.”

His voice snapped her out of her trance, and she peered back behind her shoulder but Celeste was gone. There was nothing. Had she ever even been there at all? Sakura wasn’t sure. She looked at Zero. “I missed you.” More than she could understand. More than she could convey. “Where have you been?”

He was before her instantly, enclosing around her and squeezing her body against his own, burying his face into the side of her neck. “I’m so sorry I took so long,” the boy’s normal calm and level voice broke. “You were so far. It took so long to find you. I didn’t know if I would. If you had already crossed and…” He trailed off as he began to shake and his hold on the woman tightened, refusing to let her go.

Sakura held the boy, running her fingers through his hair and whispering in his ear until he had calmed. Gently, she pushed him back. “Please don’t cry, Zero. It’s okay.” Her smile tender as she wiped the tears from his cheeks. “I love you.”

“I love you.” He took her face in his hands—so soft, so warm— and raised it, her gaze meeting his. He leaned towards her closing the distance.

“What do we do now?” she whispered, barely there, a dream that cradled her.

“We go home.”

She heard his voice, but his lips hadn’t moved.

Because they were pressing against hers.

Soft.

Warm.

Safe.

Salvation.

And Sakura closed her eyes and fell into the light.