The beginning of a dream

I find myself opening my eyes, lights pouring in through the cracks in the ceiling.

“Well, I guess that means it’s morning”, I mutter to myself as I start shaking the Hay from my pallet off my body. I had another dream about my old life again. WELL GOOD RIDDANCE IF YOU ASK ME, I’M FREE NOW! I kept that promise I made to myself long ago. On that day I threw away my old name of [ ], I hated it so much that I can’t even remember it anymore. Now I just go by Thief as in thief, makes sense since I want to be the world’s best bandit. Now I know what you’re thinking, dude you’re crazy, and you’re right. I am crazy, CRAZY ABOUT MAKING MY DREAM COME TRUE!

It’s what’s kept me going for the past 16 years, I’m not 10 anymore, I’m now a 26 year old man. If there’s any time to make my dream come true it’s now, I even look the part now. I gave myself a slight scar on the right of my face when I was younger. Honestly, I might take a jagged rock and give it a touch up at one point. I also shaved my dark brown hair off, a true grunt level bandit is BALD BABY! And of course you can’t be a low-life without looking impoverished, so I took some dirt and powdered my clothes with it. I go over to the broken mirror my superiors gifted me.

“Damn do I look good, watch out world a wild man is on the loose!”

I strike a pose, and rush out of my room. Judging by the light out, I probably slept in again meaning Chef is about to clean up breakfast. We call the chef in our rowdy band, Chef. I guess I’m not the only one with a confusing name, that said there’s no better time for morning training than stealing some breakfast. I rush over to the mess hall, and as expected Chef is getting ready to pack up shop. Not if I have anything to say about it. I crouch down and waltz into the room, that fat badger hasn’t even noticed me yet. Time for coup de grace! While he’s busy wiping down the counters, I crawl to one of the nearby tables and stuff some of the nuts on the table in my small sack. I duck under cover when Chef turns around and brandishes his cleaver. That right tonight is ham night, and Chef always pre-cuts the goods. Let’s not get side tracked, I need some natural sugars to go with these nuts.

While Chef walks over to the cutting board, I hobble over to the fruit bowl on the table left of him. Sweet, we have some green apples today. There’s even some palm fruits, well that’s rare. I take one apple and snag two of the palm fruits. Rule #34 of being a thief, always pack light, is what I thought until Chef brought out that ham. I had such wonderful marbling, such a delicate aroma. If I could just have one small piece, NO! Rule #36 of being a thief, never give into temptation.

While I think about the greats rules on how to be a thief, Chef tosses some spices onto the ham. The aroma is stronger now, but I won’t give in. Chef brings out a mallet and beats the spices in, after that he massages the meat with his hands. No, I mustn’t give in and stomach, don't you start screaming at me!

Chef pulls out his cleaver and makes a small incision on the meat, it’s like a fragrance bomb went off. DAMN IT! He knows I’m here doesn’t he, he must know! This old bastard is doing this on purpose! Just as I think that Chef raises his knife, I think he’s gonna start dicing it up. Why am I salivating right now! No don’t give into temptation, remember Rule #36. Chef prepares to bring his knife down.

Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36 Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36! Rule #36!!!!!!!

...Oh, I just remembered something. As Chef brings his Cleaver down, I remember Rule #97 of how to be a thief. As a thief, if you ignore your temptation and call to adventure. YOU DON’T DESERVE TO CALL YOURSELF A THIEF!!!!!!

*CLANK*

The meat’s cut now, Chef is just holding it up like a prize. Look at it just sitting there shaking in the wind. Before I can think of anything else, Chef throws the meat into the air. What is he thinking, at that trajectory it’ll hit the floor. Such a perfect slice of ham, you animal what are you thinking! Don’t worry meat, I’ll save you!

And so there I was, jumping across the room like a dumbass, trying to stop the most beautiful piece of ham I’ve ever seen from hitting the floor. Luckily I managed to catch the meat in my mouth like a dog, I stand up triumphant! Before realizing Chef sees me, and he played me for the fool I am.

“So, you were stealing food again?”

“...”

I couldn’t say anything, one because the ham in my mouth and two because I was on thin ice. This was the fourth time I’ve been caught this month and Chef warned me to watch myself.

“I know your name is Thief so of course you want to steal everything, but remember my name isn’t Chef for nothing!”

Chef readies his cleaver, and now my mind is on one thing. RUN AWAY!

“Get over here! YOU LITTLE WEASEL!”

I ran out as fast as I could, Chef chasing me tossing every utensil in the kitchen at me. He managed to clock the back of my head with a ladle, if not for my bandana you would probably see a welt on my head. However, I managed to escape with my head still attached.

“BABA! I’be Pon!(HAHA! I’ve won!)”

I celebrate my victory when a throwing knife comes out of nowhere, and skewers the slice of ham I fought long and hard for into the wall. I quickly gulped down the small piece still in my mouth before giving a retort.

“What the-”

Before I could finish, I felt the edge of a blade pointed at my neck. I quietly turned my gaze to the left, and notice my attacker is a bandaged figure.

“OH COME ON! Jasmine, what the hell man!”

The figure was our mummified knife expert, Jasmine. She has a tendency of keeping me on my toes, mainly by throwing knives at me. I swear one of these days, imma see what her face looks like.

“Geez, you almost cut my head off.”

“...”

“Yeah I know stealing food is wrong and I should’ve got up on time but still”

Before you ask, yeah I can understand what she’s trying to say. It was hard at first, but I got used to it. Feeling hungry, after Jasmine reminded me how valuable my life is, I pulled out my green apple.

“Hey you hungry, I snatched some Palm fruit two.”

“...”

“Yeah I know there’s better ways to see your face than offering you food, but it was worth a shot.”

If you can get passed the whole knife thing, I appreciate the awkward friendship we have. Just then I heard a familiar laugh coming from ahead of us. It was the group's third in command, as always carrying a mirror with him. He started talking to us with a smirk:

“Say Thief, isn’t there a better way to start your morning besides having Chef and Jasmine almost kill you.”

He then turned to Jasmine. He looked into his mirror to make sure his hair was right, looked over at me to give me a quick wink, and then did his usual routine.

“Say Jasmine, you know you’d look even more beautiful if you took those bandages off.”

“...”

“Yikes! I know I’m a womanizer but threatening to treat me like a dog is a bit harsh.”

His wink was to say he was gonna show me how it’s done, not that he made it any further. As for the name of this guy, it's Joffry. Handsome Joffry to be exact, but don’t let his demeanor fool you. He may act like a love-crazed fool but he’s the best sword of our band, you aren’t third in command for nothing. His natural smile is able to get almost anyone on his side, sadly he primarily uses this trick on women. Fun fact, don’t let his gray hairs fool you! He might look like an old man but apparently he’s barely over 20(yeah right).

“That said, what are you doing here Thief? Remember you’re on morning duties this week.”

“Oh yeah, I guess I better get in there.”

Joffry reminds me that I got my job to do, well duty calls and considering the work that lies ahead of me it calls in more ways than one.