And the last laugh goes to...!

Gods! How long does it take to find an abandoned fort in the woods! If we don’t find this base soon, If we don’t stop Conrad soon. The kingdom will be in grave danger!

The sword of foresight, Forecianna, was taken by a group of extremists. They destroyed its original resting place and did a ritual on it to corrupt the blade. That way even the most unworthy combatant may wield it. The only way Conrad could touch the blade without it being sealed means it’s been corrupted that badly, if he uses it for a prolonged period of time, the blade may turn him into a demon with mortal flesh!

“Captain…!”

“Yes soldier!”

“We’ve been riding without a break, and most of us are dizzy. Please sir, we don’t even know why we’re out here. Please let us take a break!”

“Sorry soldier, I can’t tell you why we have to do this. However, know that if the evil in these woods isn’t purged then the lives of everyone in this kingdom may be at risk.”

“But sir-”

“Please, I beg of you all. Bear with me!”

“...Alright sir!”

Thankfully kindness goes a long way, treating these soldiers with proper respect has gotten them to trust me. Still where in the world could Conrad be, right as I thought that it looked like the prince entered a trance.

“Pr-Pledge! What is it?”

“Captain Goltas, I feel a strange feeling in that direction. It’s like goosebumps immediately appeared on my body!”

“!!!!”

It’s resonance! The royal family resonates with the divine blades made to protect them! Usually the blades would give off a warm feeling, however since Forecianna has fallen into depravity its feeling is sinister. This means-

“Pledge, lead the way! We’ll follow you!”

“Alright, please leave it to me!”

The prince starts leading the way, and the men follow. I hope our horses can hold out for long enough, and Conrad I swear. When we find you, the King will be the least of your worries.

****

“GAHHH!!!!”

“Wow, you’re screaming over every little thing. If you don’t close that mouth of yours, people might start calling you a squealler.”

Easy for you to say asshole! You're not the one with a goddamn shoulder cut open! Thank god the wound isn’t deep, but the injury is still serious. I’m losing feeling in my left arm, s*** this is bad!

“Well don’t just sit there, We’re supposed to be fighting!”

Conrad lunges at me, I try to back away only to trip on one of the stones I threw. On the brightside, that helped me dodge a near fatal attack. I crawled out of the position I was in and got back on my feet to run. Conrad gave chase, and the dangerous game of cat and mouse continued. I ran as much as I could, but the more I ran the more blood I lost. The more blood I lost meant the more mistakes I’d make, and just as I thought that I started getting light headed. I began to stumble and almost fell over.

“I’VE GOT YOU NOW!”

“Crap…!”

I was only narrowly able to avoid getting my intestines ripped open, however I couldn’t avoid getting a shallow wound on my stomach. I began breathing heavily, the fear and pain caught up to me. I looked up to be greeted by Conrad with a smile.

“Yeah this seems about right.”

Just then he kicked my right side and sent me rolling away on the floor.

“Guk!”

“Does it hurt Thief, WELL TOO BAD! This is exactly how things are supposed to go! You steal s***, you pillage homes, you hurt people, you encounter the heroes, and then you die! YOU REALLY THOUGHT YOUR LIFE WOULD LEAD TO A HAPPY ENDING FOR YOU! ARE YOU A DUMBASS!”

I wallowed in pain, bleeding on the floor as Conrad berated me. Probably thinking he won.

“Don’t think your suffering is over, Thief, and don’t die just yet! I still have plenty of hell waiting for you! I think I start by plucking out those eyes, how does that sound Thief! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“Guk-Gak*Cough*...ha….ha”

“Got trouble breathing there buddy, don’t worry! By the end of this, you won’t be breathing at all! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!”

“...ha….ha…hahahahaha”

“HAHAHAH-”

“Hahahahahaha”

“My dearest Thief, mind telling me WHAT THE F*** IS SO FUNNY!”

“*Cough* Hahahaha, my dearest Conrad. Don’t tell me, do you really think you’ve won?”

“What!?!”

I guess I can’t blame him after all, he’s in better health than me right now. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t turn the tables. I think it’s about time I told him the truth.

“First and foremost, tell me Conrad. How long has it been since you made your vow?”

“Why does that matter?”

“Four minutes and fifty three seconds.”

“!!!!”

“Tell me, what do you think will happen at the five minute mark?”

I began to stand on my feet, Conrad finally realizing something was wrong. Before he could attempt to rush me again, it finally happened. Conrad dropped Forecianna, and his hands began to tremble violently.

“What the-GAH! Wha-WHAT IS THIS PAIN! GODS WHAT IS THIS MAKE IT STOP!”

“You must’ve thought you were the main character of some story, Conrad, that sword wasn’t meant for you. Now you’re gonna suffer the backlash. Still five minutes? If you wanna please a woman you gotta last longer than that.”

“YOU PIECE OF S***! GGAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!”

I wasn’t running for nothing, I was buying time. This guy as stated before isn’t a true full fledged wielder of the sword. If Forecianna gave him power, then his time would be limited. I bet my life on that, I was hoping for three minutes but I’ll take five. As I start feeling relief, I watch Conrad start Convulsing again. This time Forecianna was taking a bit off for the power it lent, he began vomit uncontrollably. After that he began to cry bloody tears as he screamed in agony, after a while he just stood there disheveled and looking like a far cry from his old appearance.

“Hey, I know I asked this before, but are you-”

“Shut the hell up and die Thief!”

“Yay! Buddy you’re alive!”

Sarcasm can only take me so far, and if looks could kill Conrad’s eyes right now would’ve executed me. That said we’re both tired and can barely move, my tools are practically exhausted and Conrad has the sword by his feet. Attempting another vow could kill him, but if it means taking me down, that bastard would totally do it. However, despite how things look I couldn’t help but laugh. Conrad heard me, and snapped immediately.

“You! WHY THE HELL ARE YOU LAUGHING!”

“Ha! Unlike you, I prepared a method to finish this fight. Best of all, I barely need to do anything!”

“Yeah right! You’re in worse shape than me, I won’t even need to use another vow to kill you! Once my stamina is back, you’re dead!”

“I hope your stamina returns soon, because you’re gonna want to run.”

Before Conrad could question my statement, I motioned my hand across the room.

“Tell me Conrad, what’s this room full of!”

“Dust obviously!”

“Good, now then my assistant. Tell me what this is?”

I pull my right hand out my pocket holding a red tinted stone, I then point it at him. Conrad had no idea what I was doing at first, but then he realized what I was holding.

“Wait, no that couldn’t be!”

“Oh it is Conrad, it’s a magic stone. A heat based one at that!”

Let’s think back real quick, before I lured this bastard in here.

****

“Hey Thief?”

“Sup Rat!”

I was busy digging through Mitch’s junk, and Steve was also gathering whatever looked useful. That is when Rat grabbed one of Mitch’s pots.

“What’re you doing?”

“Showing you the secret to how these babies work.”

Rat immediately threw the pot on the floor, smashing it to pieces. Even Steve looked back for a moment and spoke up.

“What the hell are you doing?”

“Giving Thief some insurance.”

Rat reached into the shards, and pulled out a stone with a red shade. He then handed it to me,, I couldn’t help but question him about it though.

“What the hell is this?”

“It’s a small piece of magicite, or rather a “magic stone”. It’s the secret to how the heating pot gets warm.”

“What!?!”

“I don’t know why, but I have a feeling you’ll need this.”

“*whistle*Damn Thief, you’re lucky Mitch left this behind. Better put it to good use!”

“I would if I could, but how would I-Wait a moment, Steve you’re covered in dust.”

“Yeah, the bastard never cleans in here so it was bound to be dusty.”

“Dusty...Yeah, that could work!”

“What could work?”

“Hehehe, Steve I got a feeling you gave this guy a killer idea!”

“I did, how the hell did I do that?”

Rat and Steve kept laughing, but for me I started planning. If push came to shove, this would be my key to end the fight

****

“Tell me Conrad, do you know how to use magicite?”

“Damn, of course when my head’s fried. You either inject it with mana, but since most people don’t have magic they try to activate it through contact.”

“Exactly! To be specific, this stone is pretty sensitive. The lightest tap could set it off, and in a room like this that would be a tragedy.”

“What are you-”

Conrad suddenly remembered the room we were in, there was dust everywhere. If someone lit a spark, things wouldn’t be good.

“You bastard! YOU PLAYED ME THE WHOLE TIME! Don’t tell me, you’re gonna start a dust explosion!”

This was the answer, the hope my friends left me with. With the last of my strength, I’ll take us both out! All I need to do is drop this stone, quickly while he’s paralyzed.

“N-No, NOT LIKE THIS! DAMN YOU THIEF! DAMN YOU DAMN YOU DAMN YOU!!!!!”

“You guys, I’m sorry. I won’t be able to keep-”

Just before I could finish, I heard something. I looked behind me to see one of the pieces of the stone floor moving. I was shocked, and even more so when the plate moved and out popped Rat’s head.

“What the fu-”

“*cough* What were you smoking in here dumbass, now hurry up and come this way! Hurry!”

You gotta be kidding me, this guy, he really came all this way. I couldn’t stop a tear from falling out my eye, my friends saved me again. The people I chose, the ones who chose me. They came back for me. I wiped my tear and looked at Conrad.

“Sorry kid, but I’m gonna let the flames finish you off. Oh, and please die this time.”

“Stop, Thief, you wouldn’t dare!”

I threw up the stone and bolted for the escape hatch on the floor. Rat dove down, and I jumped in after him. Before leaving though, I made sure to wave goodbye to my dance partner one last time. With that, I made my exit and it couldn’t have been any better. After all, Rule #10 of being a Thief is to always have the last laugh!

****

Why, why is this happening to me. That bastard is getting away like last time, and unlike before, no one’s here to get me out of this one. Wait, what am I saying, I’m the great Conrad Bu’Cannon! I don’t need help, I never need help! So why, why do I feel so scared all of the sudden...Oh I see, it’s just like that guy alluded to. I’m immature, I thought I was a hero without even deserving the title. All that awaits me now is an ending befitting a loser!

I watch as the stone starts falling towards the ground, Thief’s last words to me echoing in my ears.

Sorry kid, but I’m gonna let the flames finish you off. Oh, and please die this time.

Even now, I’m not worth the honor of being killed. I’m about to die in such a pitiful way, will they even find my body. As I thought that as if to mock me the paralysis ended, but the stone was about to reach its mark. I rushed for the blade, but just then the stone hit the floor and cracked.

“Uh!”

The stone began to spark, and the room looked like it was illuminated by fireflies. Why, I was raised to think Love and justice always prevailed so why? Why did evil win? Why do I have to die? Why did he get to live? Why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why why! GODS WHY HAVE YOU FORSAKEN ME!

“FU-”

*BOOM*