When Dreams stop being dreams

So there I was, bleeding and falling down a large hole with my small companion. There was only one thing to say about this.

“AAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC-”

“WWWWWWEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE”

“RAT ARE YOU ENJOYING THIS!”

“YEAH!”

This crazy bastard, of course he would enjoy free falling to his death. Suddenly that’s when I saw it, the bottom was closing in. There was a cushion down there, and the first to make contact was Rat. He landed, and did a front flip as he sprung off.

“Ha! Nailed it!”

Screw your acrobatics jackass! What about-

“GUL!!!”

With a loud *thud*, practically knocking the wind out of me, I came in contact with the cushion! Thank god, I survived my plan, karma didn’t kill me! Forgive me Karma, you sweet thing you! Please don’t kill me later down the line! That said, speaking of my survival, I look towards the main reason I survived. If Rat didn’t save me, I would’ve-

“Rat, you-”

“What’s up? Wait, why are you looking at me like that!”

My face probably looked like a fish out of water, I didn’t know whether to laugh, smile, or cry! My friend saved me, he really saved me! However, right before I made a fool of myself.

*Boom*

“What the hell was that?”

“The dust explosion that killed that one eyed little s***.”

“Oof! Damn Thief, you really are one crazy bastard.”

“Now you tell me, that said thanks for sticking around to save me Rat.”

“Oh no, I’m not the one you should be thanking.”

“Really then who-”

“I heard a sound, what the hell was-Thank the goddess it’s just you two. Do you know how worried I was when I heard that noise just now!”

The voice I heard was soft, yet cold. It was like a thorny rose, it could be a source of sweet nectar but also a blade pointed at your neck. It kinda reminded me of Reginald’s tone, the key difference is that it’s a woman’s voice. The source of the voice being our resident mute, Jasmine!

“HOLY S***! Jasmine, you can talk!”

“YES I CAN-”

Before she finished, she sighed and reached into her pocket. She took out a coin and gave it to Rat who started doing a happy dance.

“...You bet on my reaction didn’t you?”

“...”

“Jasmine, you can’t revert to you old self now that I’ve heard you.”

“Gods be damned!”

She holds her head as if to hide a migraine, not gonna lie it feels like I’ve discovered a side of her. I could tell her emotions before, but hearing her puts this in a different sense. However, that makes me wonder.

“Why did you-”

“Isn’t it obvious?”

“What do you- Oh right, Joffry.”

That horned up scoundrel, if he heard Jasmine’s beautiful voice he would’ve swooned immediately. I kinda feel bad, if she hid her voice for so long to protect herself, imagine what else she had to hide. Wait a moment?

“So Jasmine, about the bandages?”

“If you weren’t on death’s door, you would’ve received a throwing knife by now.”

“Noted!”

“Well, yes it was for the same reason. Moving on, what happened to you!”

I gave Rat and Jasmine a quick rundown of my fight and what I did. Both of them had a mix of shock and impression on their faces.

“Hehehe, told you he had something cooked up!”

“A dust explosion, you really are stupid. What if it set off the other explosives? *Sigh* Before that, drink this medicine.”

“Oh, what’s this?”

“Something to restore some of that blood you lost, and stop your bleeding.”

“REALLY! HOW DID-”

“DRINK THE DAMN MEDICINE!”

“YES MA’AM!

I drank the medicine Jasmine gave me, I don’t know why but I felt amazing after drinking it. It’s like my pain and injuries disappeared, they didn’t of course.

“A side effect is sealing of the users pain, you should be able to move better. However, you’re still a pin cushion so do be careful. Also, please give me that bottle back.”

Hmmm? I wonder why she wants the bottle, but I gave it to her without question. Jasmine said she had to do something and walked over near the entrance of the hole. A second later, guess who came in.

“So, a dust explosion?”

“Oh, hey Steve what’s-”

On Steve’s face was a look of ferocity I’ve only seen him give to his enemies. I froze on the stop, even Rat looked scared. He began walking towards me, did I do something wrong. Rat sighed and began speaking to me.

“Thief, please grit you teeth.”

“Huh? Wait, what did I do wrong!?!”

“Listen to Rat, YOU DUMBASS!”

I felt Steve’s cold fist against my jaw, and went stumbling on the floor. I began holding my bruised right cheek, dammit what’s this guy-

He was crying, Steve was crying and shaking. Why was he-

“I didn’t want to think about it, but you were planning to die weren’t you!”

“...Steve, I-”

“WE’RE FRIENDS THIEF! IF YOU DIED, WHO’S GONNA ENJOY LIFE’S PLEASURE WITH US! What’s worse is that you got the idea from us, it would be like we killed you! *Sniff* You ass, I swear you really are a moron!”

Steve is a big softie, he cares about the people in his life more than himself. That is why he tears down anyone who dares to hurt those around him. I really am an idiot, however-

“Sorry Steve, you too Rat. However, I’m alive so let’s not worry about that. Instead, where’s that chilled ale I told you to bring me.”

“...Ha, of course you would say that! But after a scare like this, yeah I could use a drink.”

“I second that, with some nuts on the side.”

Steve and Rat share the same sentiment I do, I guess we’re not friends for nothing. That said, I guess I can consider our mission over. A shame we had to ditch the fort though, and right as I thought that.

*Boom*

“What the hell was that? My dust explosion was supposed to be a one time thing!”

“It’s the other explosives I mentioned.”

Jasmine finally walks back to the group, she also notices my check.

“Uh, did I miss something?”

“Me and the guys had a little man to man.”

Just then, a small bit of blood sprayed from the wound on my left shoulder.

“OH S***!”

“What happened!”

“Don’t tell me my punch-”

“DAMMIT STEVE I JUST GAVE HIM MEDICINE!”

“I’M SORRY!”

Jasmine sighed and told us we should probably get as far from the blast as possible. She took out some bandages to wrap me while we walked. As we did, the group told me what happened while I was busy

****

“Listen, I know you have questions, but that can wait. As we speak, not only Thief’s, but the lives of all remaining combatants are in danger.”

“Uh, yeah we do have questions. For starters, you can talk?”

“I had a feeling you would question me weasel.”

Me and Steve have every right to be perplexed right now, Jasmine the mute is talking to us. Her voice sounds as good as aged wine, why didn’t she-Oh right, Joffry would try to bone her. Wait, did she just say our lives were in danger?

“How are our lives in danger? Thief is dealing with the main guy right now.”

“I’m well aware, I’ve helped some of the others escape so far. As for the reason, the Fort has been rigged by Moe to explode.”

““What!?!””

After hearing that Steve attempted to run back to grab Thief, that’s when Jasmine told him she had a better idea. The fort had a secret tunnel system, she led us down there and to the ladder post for the floor war Thief is. She then gave Steve a Pickaxe and told him she needed him to do some digging. Meanwhile, I went up the ladder to save Thief! Well, not before making a quick bet.

“I bet Thief’s gonna lose his s*** when he finds out you can talk.”

“...Name your price.”

“I knew you had some game!”

****

“And that’s what happened.”

“Wow so the boss rigged the place to blow?”

I couldn’t help but be amazed by the info Rat just told me. The same info he and Steve received from Jasmine. Boss Moe rigged Fort Lenora with explosives, anyone left inside now would get caught in the blast.

“No way…”

“Thief…”

“...”

“Thief, I know how you must feel but-”

“RIDE ON!”

“““!!!!!”””

The boss gave those knights one hell of a response. YOU WANT MY FORT! WELL YOU CAN- IN HELL THAT IS! As expected of the man I look up to!

“I wouldn’t expect any less from the boss! He really gave those guys hell, I’ll follow his teachings for the rest of my days!”

“Uh, yeah! Hehe, yeah the boss really is the best right you guys!”

“I guess he is pretty cool.”

“...”

I’m glad that Rat once again agreed about the boss’ greatness, even Steve joined in. Although Jasmine said nothing, she looked away for some reason. Almost like it was out of shame, however she picked up her head eventually.

“Hey Thief, I’m not so sure about this Oaf’s job digging so go scout ahead.”

“What the hell do you mean you got a problem with my work?”

“Where’s the pickaxe I gave you?”

“It was too weak so it broke, so I made a makeshift club out the support beam down there.”

“See what I-SUPPORT BEAM! Are you trying to start a cave in!”

“It’s down there right, okay this brave Thief will scout on!”

So I left the group to scout the tunnel ahead for a bit.

****

“...Are you guys sure about this?”

Now that he’s gone, I wanted to make sure they knew the gravity of what they were doing.

“Thief just came back from a life or death battle, he’d be depressed if he found out Moe abandoned us all to die.”

“Heh, he’s like a kid sometimes. That’s why we want to protect that ignorance of his.”

“You two are like parents coddling their newborn.”

““I’VE GOT BETTER TASTE THAN TO SETTLE FOR THIS GUY HERE!””

Heh, they both had the same response. Although, I can understand their decision. Thief didn’t notice, but his kindness was like a drop of water in a dying spring for us. He might be an idiot, but he’s a good idiot.

“Alright, let’s go after him.”

““Right!””

****

I just realized something, where the hell am I supposed to be going? That ‘s when the guys finally caught up. After walking for a bit, we found a crude hole in the wall. Leading into another tunnel.

“Told you I do good work. Oh, that’s where I left it!”

Steve walked up and picked up a crude club, it was practically a big piece of lumber. This guy can work with anything can’t he? Jasmine explained that the secret tunnels in this direction were connected to an abandoned mineshaft. A mineshaft which we’re currently walking to the entrance of. Finally after spending an hour in these cramped tunnels, we finally can get out soon.

“Bingo!”

“Sup Rat, you see something”

“Yeah, the exit!”

There it was, a small ladder post leading to a panel. You could see sunlight leaking through. We rushed towards the exit, however I found myself running out of breath.

“You okay Thief?”

“Yeah, just my injuries catching up to me.”

“No worries, I’ll carry you.”

“Thanks comrade.”

While talking to Steve, Rat discussed with Jasmine about who would go first. She was adamant about sending him up, but he stuck to his rules that the gentlemen come second to the ladies.

Jasmine sighed and begrudgingly excepted, however-

“I swear, if you pull one of your pranks and prick me while I’m climbing-”

“No worries sis! These lock picks are reserved for giving Thief Enemas only.”

“ARE YOU PLANNING TO PRICK MY ASS AGAIN, COCKY LITTLE S***!”

I take back my praise, Imma punt this guy so hard! That said, we made our way up the ladder. Jasmine led the way, followed by Rat, and Steve climbed while carrying me. The entrance hole was too small for the both of us, so Steve let me climb off him to be received by the others waiting at the top. The entrance hole was still too small for Steve, so he then brute forced his way through using his club and destroyed it. With us all out, we found ourselves standing on the cliffside of the Zandalfo mountain range. After we shared a collective breath, we couldn’t help but look around and notice where we stood. We all walked over to the cliffside, and stared down at the land it overlooked.

“Wow, well look at that!”

“I can see the fort from here!”

“Hehe, and it’s blown to s***.”

“For now let's be happy we escaped, I wonder if the others made it away safely. Without encountering knights that is.”

We looked at Jasmine when she said that and let’s face it, she has a point. The Fort is gone, our numbers are spread thin, and the knights are on our asses. It’s sad to say it, but the Mountain Moes are done for. What will I do now? I felt that this was my place to be so what do I-

I didn’t need to ask anymore questions, all I did was turn to my right. There I saw the people who stayed for me, the friends who came back to save my life. It’s like a story book, the heroes watching over a cliff like this and choosing their next course of action. The sun is shining down on me, as if to me this is my moment. I’d be a fool to deny it this moment.

“My friends…”

“Thief?”

“What’s Wrong?”

“...”

“MY FRIENDS! RAT, STEVE, JASMINE! I MADE UP MY MIND, I’M GONNA START MY OWN BAND OF THIEVES! AND I WANT YOU TO JOIN ME!”

Those three stared at me like I grew another head, I guess I should explain.

“Well our previous band is done, so I thought maybe now’s the time to embrace my dream. To be the best low-life, I’ll start my own band of thieves! We’ll create an epic greater than the four great ones and leave behind a legacy greater than any in the world. An-And, more than anything, I want to enjoy this with my dear friends and comrades so please-”

“Heh!”

Rat was the first one to respond.

“You really are a weird guy, but you’re beyond entertaining for me! This gang of yours, count me in!”

“HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!”

Steve began to give a hearty laugh.

“You’re a special bastard Thief, you’ve got my arm. This group of yours, count me in. I’ll take a barrel of ale as an advance payment!”

“Rat! Steve! You two numbskulls, you’re the best buds a guy can ask for!”

I fought hard not to cry in front of my first to members, that leaves one thing.

“You know Jasmine-”

“!”

“Every band needs a girl-”

“SHUT UP! And I have nowhere else to go, so fine I’ll join your silly group! However, you better keep your promise. Our group’s name better echo throughout the kingdom in a year’s time, I’ll work you all hard to make sure of that!”

“Nice to have you along you thorny rose! That said, you’re blushing beneath those bandages aren’t you! You didn’t want your friends to leave you out right!”

“WHA- YOU JACKASS! I SWEAR ONCE YOU HEAL I’LL TURN YOU TO RIBBONS!”

Jasmine kept berating me, the guys ran up to her and began to prod her. They began singing “Lonely Jasmine” , a song made by nameless Bandit 13C, who had a crush on her. She beat his ass for writing it, but peeps held onto it because it was a nice shanty. I notice on the little skin peering through those bandages that she’s turned as red as a tomato right now. Meanwhile I turn and face the beautiful land that awaits me again. Today marks the day, The Start Of My Dream! I raise my tired arms, and rejoice as I bask in the beautiful sunset.

“YYYYYYYYYEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!”

I fell back exhausted, I guess I’m tired. The gang ran over panicking, and immediately berated me for wasting my energy. I could only laugh as sleep claimed me. Come on now, I’m your boss now so let me have my fun. Tomorrow, let’s get down to business. So for now, let’s rest my friends and one more thing.

Thank you, for being a part of my story. I still have no idea what I gonna call it, but one things for certain. This story is gonna be A Vagrant’s Tale!

How To Be A Thief: A Vagrant’s Tale!

Arc 1: Dreams

END