The Flyer

I close my eyes and then open them again to confirm what I just saw. I definitely saw a flying creature sail across the sky above me. It wasn’t a bird or a drone. It must be a plane right? I blink rapidly, but last I recall planes didn’t have legs.

I’m obviously still asleep so I do the classic “pinch yourself to see if you can feel pain” test. Oh God I think I felt pain. This must mean I’m not sleeping anymore.

As I pinch my arm, I realize that I’m wearing completely different clothes too. Instead of my hoodie, I’m wearing a long blue cloak. It’s definitely giving local ren faire wizard. Am I in cosplay?

Here’s another question, why am I outside? And I don’t see the school anywhere. I look around frantically for any maps or street signs when I notice that the entire area around me is nothing like I know back at home. The highways are just lumpy dirt roads and the street lamps aren’t electric lamps at all, but small torches illuminating the ground below. Where in the world am I?

As I keep walking, I realize I may not be in my world. In a fit of desperation, I start running towards the center of the town. The buildings are small with grass thatched roofs and there are horses and wagons in the roads. This feels just like the setting of one of my beloved fantasy books. Wait, is that a statue of Fern the Fearless?!

Fern is the main protagonist from Emperor of the Lantern, the series that I adore so much! Did I get transported to THAT world? While I do love these books more than anything, I do NOT want to live in them! I love my modern guilty pleasures like television, convenience stores, and y’know… air conditioning. Oh God and they probably don’t have indoor plumbing here do they?!

I keep running forward until I see a group of strangers in an alleyway up ahead. Finally people! Maybe I can talk one of them into hitting me. I hear you can’t die in dreams, so if I really am in a deep sleep, maybe they can wake me up with some light violence. I know I’m grasping at straws, but I’m trying here!

“Excuse me sir…” my voice echoes into the narrow alley. “It’s a bit of a strange request, but I was wondering if you could punch me?”

“Oooh I can do more than that.” The voice behind that line was cold and gruff. He turns around to face me and stands up fully, straightening his posture. Turns out the guy was hunched over this whole time and he was already huge! The figure towers over me, probably seven feet tall. I really would love just a few of his inches since he clearly has plenty to spare. Oh and he’s an orc.

He has deep green skin and a massive underbite. His muscles would make Hercules jealous. I look him up and down several times. When I look back at his feet I see a frail man behind him knocked unconscious. My misfortune astounds me, I ran into a gang fight.

“You know on second thought, let’s maybe do a rain check on that...” I’m really not in the mood to get hit anymore, but the orc man looks confused at my expression. Maybe those words don’t make sense in this world?

“Let’s put a pin in it.” He still doesn’t seem to get it. I don’t know if the phrase is too modern or if this muscly man is too dense to get it.

“You can punch me later.”

“Oh, I’d quite like to punch you now actually.” the orc bellowed.

Well, at least he’s polite. Anyways, I've gotta think of something fast. Usually when I'm nervous I just spout random nonsense. So pretend it's an awkward social situation at high school.

“You know what, while that's a very kind offer, I'm really not in the mood anymore. See, it's been a really long day. It started with me getting up late so I couldn't make it to school on time, I was in my pajamas, I think I put my shoes on the wrong feet at first, and the worst part is I couldn't have any bread because the toaster was broken and-”

“What's a toaster?” asked the curious and now slightly less hostile orc.

Thankfully my rambling bought the guy knocked unconscious behind the orc enough time to get up and sneak away. It's certainly beginning to dawn on me just how strange this fantasy world is. However, I can use this to my advantage. Talking at length about things others don't understand to confuse or annoy the dickens out of them is my specialty.

“Oh so you've never heard of a toaster? Well today is your lucky day! Hidden beneath my cloak is the rare and illustrious toaster. An artifact so powerful it could burn the hands of the gods! TREMBLE BEFORE ME, as I unleash the power of the ALMIGHTY TOASTER!!”

The orc and his two lackeys duck in fear. Hahahaha! The allure of the almighty toaster is not to be trifled with.

“Yes, YES! Cower before me and I will spare the wrath of the Almighty Toaster!! Mwahahaha!” I give my best evil laugh as I try to impersonate Xaban the dastardly warlock from the Emperor of the Lantern. It’s not everyday you can make a mighty orc from the town of Tauwren crumble to their knees. It feels deliciously cruel, but I revel in their fear!

The orc mumbles to me in a worried voice, “it’s not you we’re cowering from!”

I cut off my maniacal laughter and follow the orc’s eyes to see a mysterious cloaked figure standing on the roof of a building behind us. His body is framed by the full moon and the light reveals an intimidatingly large crossbow in his hands. He must have overheard the commotion. Ugh it’s a rogue. Great. These shadowy types are usually a bad omen in stories like these. Unfortunately for me, the figure draws closer with its piercing glowing eyes. Fortunately for me, I have survival instinct. (I mean sorta. I did run into a group of nasty criminals a second ago, but I just got here so give me some credit.)

So I did the only sensible thing I could think of. I kicked the orc in his crown jewels and ran as fast as I could in the opposite direction. I am not going to die today!

Just as I start taking off, the mystery man in the dark cloak starts his pursuit. The guy is totally chasing me! He jumps from one thatched roof to another until it looks like he’s ahead of me. This gives him the opportunity to meet me down on ground level and cut me off.

“Hey can we talk?”

“NOPE!”

I yell my refusal and turn on my heels as quickly as I can in the opposite direction. The man then flutters by dissolved into a sea of moths before appearing again in front of me. Oh God that’s dark magic if I’ve ever seen it.

“Come on there’s nowhere to run!”

There may be nowhere to run, but I can climb! I dash to the side escaping the creepy moth man. There are some crates stacked up on top of each other so I hop on those to get to the roof of what looks like a guild hall. Then I kick the top crate over to send it tumbling down. Now what?

“Hey just listen!” The man in the black cloak calls out. He perches his arm on the edge of the roof and starts to pull himself up. He was tall enough that he didn’t need that last crate to make it up here anyways!

Crap! Why did I climb up in the first place?! I can’t do parkour and this guy is clearly used to jumping from roof to roof. Although, why do that if you can become a flurry of moths? Does he like getting his exercise? Man this guy is weird.

I look towards the edge of where I’m standing and I am running out of options. However, I do see a thatched roof of another building straight ahead. It looks like there’s a ten foot gap and I’ll fall about twenty feet down if I miss. Welp it’s a stupid idea, but it’s the only one I have. Oh well!

I move to the opposite end of the roof to get into a sprinting position. If I get a running start, I can make it. Come on June, you got this!

“Wait!” The man in the cloak calls and reaches out his hand just nearly missing my ankle. Ha ha sucker. I dig my heels into the roof and take off. I keep running until I no longer can and then make the leap of faith.

I soar through the air for what feels like an eternity until my feet touch the roof of the other building. Success! Just as my toes hit the top, my body starts to roll forward. And then I start to fall. Wait, I didn't make it?!

My body crashes through the roof and I hit a pile of hay below. Dang, video games typically make piles of hay look soft, but landing on top of that one hurt like a mother! I try to pull myself up, but my body aches so much I slump into the hay again.

“Here, do you need a hand?” The cloaked figure pursuing me reaches out his arm to help pick me up.

“I can pull myself up just fine, thank you.” That’s a lie. I dust the hay off my legs and stumble forward a bit crossing my feet as I do. Fortunately, I do manage to get up even without the help of this odd stranger.

“I tried to warn you. The roof on this stable wasn’t well… stable.”

I look up to the spot in the roof where I fell from. It looks like the owners patched up this hole with some ryegrass and called it a day. Great, and I just so happened to fall through the one massive human sized hole in this complex.

“So why did you take off running?”

What the hell? Seriously, the audacity of this guy. I need to give him a piece of my mind. “Excuse me?” Um you were the one chasing me!”

“Aah sorry. I’m not here to hurt you.” As the man in the cloak says this he slowly lowers the hood over his head to reveal his face. Two long pointy elf ears jut out from the fabric immediately. He has gray skin and light colored eyes. Despite being so cold in appearance, his eyes do have a kindness to them in the shape they form. He seems a little reserved as he pauses before he starts talking again.

“You mentioned something about a toaster, yes?”

Oh no, this guy might be a nefarious magical artifact hunter like in the books. I've got to get rid of him as soon as possible, just play dumb. “If you're looking for a toaster I don't have one and even if I did I wouldn't be willing to sell!” Although, from the look in his eyes he doesn't seem to be confused or think of this item as a rare treasure. Wait a minute, does he know what a toaster is!?

“No, no. You're from the real world. Earth right?” The man stretches out his hand from underneath his cloak to reveal a piece of parchment. “Here.”

I hesitantly look at the paper in his hands and read the print. Isekai Anonymous.

“There are more people here like us. You’re not alone.”
I reach out to take the flyer from him and our hands touch. For some reason, this sensation felt familiar. A flicker seems to pass when our fingers meet almost as if a memory is awakened in me. Though I’m not sure either of us understands, the shadowy figure seems to sense it too. He pulls away his hand and clutches it close to his chest. Turns out tall, dark, and stormy gets embarrassed.

He clears his throat before he continues. “Umm… anyways. The ‘Isekai Anonymous’ is a group for people like us. The next meeting is tomorrow afternoon at four o’clock. Will you be there?”

I have no idea why I am here or how to get out of this world, but surely talking to others in the same boat isn’t such a bad idea. I feel cautious to accept, although I’m not really sure what other choice I have.

“Yeah… I’ll be there.”

“Cool, I’ll see you then.”

He starts to walk off, his cheeks flushed red for some reason. Well I guess I should probably try to get some sleep for the night then. Maybe tomorrow I’ll wake up and realize this was just a hyper-realistic dream that I should turn into an award winning film some day. For now, let’s try to rest. Wait a minute… I don’t have a place to sleep! I peek my head out and look at the buildings around the town.

I can’t imagine anyone is willing to let some strange girl stay in their house for the night. And unfortunately, there’s probably more dangerous criminals that lurk around in the darkness to be wary of. I guess I’ll just sleep in this pile of hay. Next to a donkey. That just took a massive dump. Argh this place sucks!