A Gut-Wrenching Performance (1)

Time passed with the same monotonous rush until the day of the birthday banquet arrived. After much sweat, thrusts, and egg cracking, I had managed to scrape together the ten thousand reales for my escape. It was quite close too, narrowly reaching the goal with twenty reales to spare.

Though, that’s because the guards stopped attacking me, which apparently led to a less interesting show according to my audience. They still watch from their not-so-secret surveillance spots, but they literally do nothing else, probably because of my ‘discussion’ with the usurper king. You know how many eggs I needed to crack because of you?!? Too many!

With little fanfare and a lot of fatigue, I handed over the cash to the owner of the ‘red herring’ pawn shop. I would’ve stayed for a bit and chatted, but he seemed to be in a terrible mood. One glance and I could tell he was barely holding back from skewering me with spears of dirt. It’s probably because of my throne room meeting, but I’ll have to explain after the banquet. He’s definitely not interested in hearing any excuses right now.

“So, what do you think?” Elvira said, snapping me from my thoughts.

“Sorry, what did you just say?”

“The suit. I think I did a marvelously excellent job.”

Right, the suit. After I finished up, I came here to Elvira (the clothing shop) to have Elvira (the person) handle any last minute adjustments. Honestly though, from what I could see in the wall mirror, it already stole my breath away. A purple tuxedo and black button-down accented by a blood red tie. A felt top hat inlaid with a red-black checkerboard pattern. Finally, some black patent leather loafer to complete the menagerie. It was absolutely chaotic yet orderly. Crude yet refined. A look that truly matched the name ‘Jester’.

“It’s absolutely perfect,” I told him honestly, flapping the… lapels(?) of the open suit jacket for dramatic flair. “Actually, I would go so far as to say it very much embodies me.”

“What did I tell you?” he said with a hearty chuckle, draping his arms over my shoulders. I would’ve snuck out, if not for the sword being twirled around like a toy.

“I'm somewhat curious, what’s with the sword?”

“Oh, this? Nothing important. I just have a question to ask.”

“I don’t believe a question needs a sword though.”

“But is it not a great luck charm? You can get sooo many answers with a swipe to the left and a slash to the right.”

Great, now Elvira’s threatening me because of my meeting with the usurper king. “Duly noted, so what can I help you with?”

“I heard through the grapevine that our lovely Jester will be performing at the birthday banquet, correct? A show so staggering, it’s to die for.” The light glinted off the sword, reflecting my visage.

“Yes, I am,” I responded calmly. “A rather threatening coercion to such a staged play by the grace of the usurper king.”

Elvira went silent for a moment, holding in a slight gasp. But it didn’t last long before he let out a guttural laugh. “Of course,” he coughed out between breaths. “Who wouldn’t respond to such a request?” With each word, his voice grew higher in pitch. His arms seemed to shrink as he pulled away before swinging out in front. His – or her now – appearance was daring for a six year old girl, but that mischievous yet cute grin sold the look well.

Wait, no, that’s not what I should be focusing on. How the hell did she manage to shrink?!?

“And what will our lovely entertainer be doing on such an inauspicious night?” she asked, ignoring my burning gaze.

“Well obviously, I’ll be putting on a show.” I let out a sigh, flipping a dagger out of my coat pocket – the best one I made. Well, this one’s only an illusion, but I do have a ‘real’ one in there. No way do I have the skill to toss and catch it though.

“Of course, as any good entertainer should,” she giggled. “Will you be needing a carriage?”

“Unfortunately, I already have a posse coming to pick me up. They would be quite miffed if I were to ditch them. That can always wait until later.”

“Ah yes, plans happen that way sometimes.”

“More often than not it seems,” I quipped. With one final check in the mirror, I gave a quick nod. “Well, everything looks good. I’ll be on my way now.” I turned around, making my towards the exit–

“Now now, wait a moment. I haven’t even given my final words,” Elvira interrupted, appearing in front of me once again in a different form – a rather demure maid, similar to those in the palace, though her expression was more… animated? No, annoying described it better. With a cheeky bow, she said, “I am looking forward to your inexplicable act. Until we meet again.”

Yeah, no. You put me through way too many headaches.

With a brief, “Thank you for your vexing hospitality,” I left the clothing store. My clothes were hidden by an illusion once again, though this time, my real self was wearing the suit. A bit of a strange role reversal, but this was the choice I made, and no matter how contradictory my judgement, I planned to stick with it. Though, if everything backfires, I’m definitely going to run away.

“Like that will happen. Everything you’ve done so far was for–”

Shush me, no spoilers. Oh, seems like I’ve arrived. The little divot I normally performed at came into view. Like always, a crowd hung around the area, waiting for today’s show. However, unlike before, their attention was stolen by something else.

A large group of knights and mages, nearly fifty by my count, had cordoned off the street, standing nearby a carriage marked with some kind of ornaments. And in front of it all, standing on center stage, was the captain, once again wearing that loose fitting off-white suit. He was clearly searching for me, tapping his foot impatiently.

“How long are they going to be here for? It’s already been a few hours.”

“They’re waiting for the Jester to show up.”

“Then is it true he’s going to perform at the banquet?!?”

“Does that mean no more street shows?”

My audience had a mix of different opinions, speculating on what the procession was for. Sadly, this will likely be the last time they see me. Therefore…

WHOOOOSSSHHHH!!!

“H-huh? What’s going on?”

“It’s a wind storm!”

“That means…”

The knights and mages began to freak out, trying to protect the captain. Meanwhile, the tornado morphed into different shapes and scenes. At one moment, it was a dragon flying through the sky. The next, a unicorn danced underneath the moonlight. And after all was said and done, everything collapsed in on itself, leaving only my illusory self behind. My entourage was bewildered while other spectators let out a cheer of excitement.

And with a smile, twirling off my top hat, I gave my greeting.

“Thank you all for waiting. Now, shall we get going?”