The Briar Hall

MY MOUTH GAPED OPEN IN AWE AS I CROSSED THE THRESHOLD.

Truly, the girls’ home base was something else. Beyond the reinforced front door, I was greeted with an elegantly decorated entrance hall. Much like in the exterior, the floral motifs lay in abundance, the wooden beams flourishing like an interior garden.

The hallway was outfitted with coat and weapon stands to the sides, a warded mat on the floor to wipe your shoes, and a number of trophies mounted on the walls, illuminated by the soft glow of enchanted sconces shaped like blooming flowers.

I’m not kidding when I say this: the place is magical. You can tell at a glance an elf handled the décor, and boy, she went to town with it. Say what you will about Cerys, but she’s got an excellent taste.

“How is it?” she asked with a smile, well aware of my awe even in my raven form.

“I feel like I’m dreaming,” I replied. To be honest, the place is too feminine for me to sully in my human form. I’m tempted to stay as a raven forever, just to match the atmosphere Cerys has achieved.

“I’m glad you like it,” she said, laughing with elegance and poise. By God, she’s beautiful, and she’s shooting those smiles point-blank at me on her shoulder.

“Done bragging already?” Xana asked, her jealousy clearly painted on her face. “Let’s go in. I’m starving!”

As am I, brother. I wouldn’t share my oats.

At Xana’s insistence, we crossed the entrance hall, and arrived at an open common room. It was outfitted with a hearth on the left wall, a large dining table on the far end, and a lounge area in the middle, hosting a couch, a cushioned bench and several plush chairs around a smaller table.

To the sides, the girls had a number of bookshelves and curious little trinkets, plus a handful of board games, and a food & drink cabinet. All in all, their home was well-equipped for the good life.

“Let me show you to the bathroom,” Amelia said, holding the bag of clothes in her hand. It’s about time I swap out of my raven form and get dressed.

“I’ll prepare dinner!” Xana called dibs, running upstairs to offload and change.

“I’ll check on George,” Cerys said, handing me over to Amelia.

“George?” I asked. Do they have a servant?

“He’s a thorn elemental,” Amelia explained. “See all the wooden structure? Cerys replaced the original lumber with him. George is sturdier, and doubles as a guardian. His magic circle is kept in the cellar.”

“Holy shit. The house is alive!?” I exclaimed.

“You could say it is,” Amelia replied, laughing.

“Well, I better introduce myself soon,” I said. “Wouldn’t want George to entangle me like I’m an intruder.”

“Cerys is on it,” Amelia assured. “Let’s get you changed for now. It must be tiring to stay in polymorph for so long.”

“Hm? It actually isn’t,” I replied. “I could stay as a bird forever if I wanted to.”

“Really?” Amelia asked, surprised for a moment before impishly adding, “Then you might want to do just that. Xana won’t jump on you that way.”

“O- Oi... Let’s not get too hasty! We just bought my clothes, you know,” I begged. I meant it as a passing comment, not as an actual proposal.

“Fufu, I’m joking,” Amelia replied. “Just make sure to restrain yourself when Cerys and I aren’t looking. Self-control isn’t in Xana’s vocabulary, so she’ll try to seduce you the first chance she gets. She’s not usually like that, mind you… but she took a liking to you, right when she was looking to settle down. She won’t give up easily.”

Hah. What was the saying? A cat is fine, too?

“I’ll do everything I can,” I replied, not too sure of myself. I’d love to promise Amelia I wouldn’t lay a hand on Xana, but if she pushes me with the big sad eyes, I think I’ll budge.

Amelia, of course, sighed at my answer.

“If you really need it, ask Cerys to summon a dryad to help you,” she said. “It’s unconventional, but it should get the job done without any accidents.”

I’m so glad I’m in bird form, or something would’ve jumped to attention.

“Don’t worry, I’ll behave,” I assured her. I can’t exactly ask Cerys to conjure me up a girlfriend, can I? Just thinking of her look of disappointment is crushing my heart.

“I’ll hold you to it,” Amelia said. It hurts a little to see her so skeptical of me, but at the same time, I understand she’s looking out for her friend. No foul there.

* * *

XANA PROMISED DINNER, BUT WHAT SHE MADE WAS A FEAST.

“Hehe~” she showed off with a huge grin. “Mom always used to say, to make a man happy, keep his belly full and his sack empty. I dunno why you’d want an empty rucksack, but here’s plenty of food!”

Amelia and Cerys pressed their hands to their foreheads.

I, too, don’t have the heart to explain to her what the saying actually means.

“You went all out,” I replied, changing topics. I’m not joking, either. Before me lies a slab of perfectly cooked venison, a pot of spiced stew, and freshly baked bread, with a side of cheese, smoked sausages and greens.

“Try these first,” Xana presented me with a tray full of bite-sized honey cakes and nut biscuits. They smell fantastic, enough so to make my mouth water.

“Don’t mind if I do,” I replied before taking a bite. God, the cake is melting in my mouth. Xana could open a restaurant and be praised even by that angry English chef.

“They’re good, aren’t they?” she asked with a smile. “Here, have a drink.”

What’s this?

Ooh, spiced mead. It’s working wonders to wash down the honey. A bit strong in alcohol, but it hits the spot.

“My God,” I said in amazement. “I could get used to this.”

“Anything for Hubby,” Xana replied, before planting a kiss on my cheek.

Oof.

I’m burning red, and Amelia is staring at me like she’s saying “I warned you.”

But you can’t blame me, okay!? The catgirl is hellbent on pampering me, and she looks freaking adorable in her casual clothes. She’s wearing a loose blouse with a good bit of cleavage to show, no doubt deliberately, with a short skirt and cute slippers, and a pretty choker around her neck.

She’s putting food on my plate at the moment, but everything about her is just screaming to me she’s the dessert. For all that is holy, Amelia better put a padlock on my door at night, or Xana and I will get impertinent.

“Say, John,” Cerys addressed me. “What was food like back in your world?”

Thank you.

“It varied a lot depending on your region,” I started, prompting Xana to back off. “Before I crossed to this side, I visited this country called Mexico. By God, their food…”

And so began our cultural exchange, going into great detail about cuisine. As it turns out, food in Krysterios is just as varied as it was on Earth. Xana’s cooking is mostly inspired by Sylphadim’s culinary customs, so I’m really curious what else I’ll find.

Fortunately, I have an entire world to discover, and three beautiful companions to tag along with. On what kind of adventures we’ll go, only time will tell… but I’m so looking forward to it.

* * *

AFTER ONE HELL OF A DELICIOUS DINNER, we moved to the lounge to discuss the golden question:

Where am I gonna sleep?

“He’s bunking with me, of course,” was Xana’s immediate reply.

“Absolutely not,” Amelia and Cerys said in unison.

“Why not!?” Xana burst out.

“Do you even have to ask?” Amelia replied. “John has given me his word to behave himself, but you’re the real problem. If Cerys and I leave you alone for a moment, you’ll jump on him before he can say meow.”

“Oh, really?” Xana asked, glaring at them. “What evidence do you have of that?”

“Ehem,” Cerys cleared her throat. “Right now, you’re sitting on John’s lap, pressing your boobs against his chest, and stroking his cheek.”

“I’m sorry, Xana,” I addressed her. “You’re guilty as charged.”

“B- But…” she pleaded to me with teary eyes.

“No buts,” Amelia shut her down. “John is staying in the guest room.”

“What guest room?” Xana shot back. “We turned it into storage ages ago! I won’t stand to have John sleeping under cobwebs, so he’s staying with me.”

“We’re cleaning it out,” Amelia said firmly. “So get off of him and start helping. Chop chop.”

“Grrr…” Xana was fuming, showing no sign of relenting.

“George,” Cerys called out.

“Waaah!” Xana panicked.

She hopped off my lap, just in time to dodge a vine trying to grab her.

“So that’s George,” I noted, looking at the vine stretching from the wooden beam on the roof. The beams are everywhere, meaning the thorn elemental can attack an intruder from any angle. A truly terrifying guardian.

“Come along, John,” Cerys said, extending a hand to me. “I’ll show you around while we get your room fixed up.”

And with that began my little tour of the Briar Hall.