Chapter 4:

60,600 Kilograms of Spider Meat

Total Death Repeatability

It was weeks since I first landed in Altherion, and Fiora, my unofficially official elf liaison had engrossed me in the world's culture and history and other mystical things like abilities, enchantments and other fancy things like that.

The place I affectionately called Dirtlandia was actually the province of Fernheim.

It was mostly woodlands, farms and small villages with the capital being way out in the West by the coastline.

Fiora informed me that that's where her party goes to find quests, jobs and missions.

Bit of a long commute by Japan's standards but what can you do, right?

The last few nights she had been working her magic on me.

No, not like that.

I mean literal magic, she'd given my tracksuit this strange buff, and because of the line colour, she gave it something called a "nature cloaking buff".

She insists it'll keep me less visible to any wildlife that might view me as 'eatable'.

I insist it's because she thinks my tracksuit makes me look like a lime green buffoon.

Fiora also tossed me a sword that had no business looking that badass.

A little out of place for me, but I got the hang of it after sparring a bit with her.

We still had some leftover Wherep pelts that Fiora could fashion and sell as warm coats since the winter months according to her were both 'imminent' and 'without mercy'.

She had this cute buggy with a bastard of a horse harnessed to it.

That was our main transport to the guild hall and pretty much everywhere else.

Why am I using bastard as an adjective?

Ask my 7 horse-mouth sized bites why.

The bast— err, horse was named 'Apples'.

Favourite food?

Probably.

I didn't ask.

Apples the horse led the way down the same major road we always took, a stone road that smelled like horse sweat and regret.

We eventually pulled up to the place known to Fiora and now, me, as Crumpton Port Hunter's Guild.

I could already smell the familiar salty breeze that came from the sea.

Crumpton was, as the name suggests, crummy.

But it was the only way Fiora knew how to make money and saying anything else otherwise was a waste of breath.

We pulled up to the guild hall's massive front doors which creaked out of despair.

It's like the hinges were demanding to be oiled.

I was also demanding to be oiled, massaged and pampered.

Silently and to myself of course.

The hunter's lifestyle is not for the faint of heart.

One look at her party was all it took to deduce that.

These were the roughest bunch of hooliganistic, roughed up, dangerous characters I had ever run into.

The air inside the guild hall was rife with godawful wafts of booze, body odour, and horrible life choices. In other words, it smelled like I’d just walked into an RPG cutscene locked on expert difficulty.

I, as far as I'm concerned, am not an expert, in fact I'm the inverse of that.

Normally, I'd wait in the buggy, but I felt bad tagging along this time.

They really let Fiora have it once they took a good look at me.

Let me breakdown who "they" is.

Fiora's party consisted of:

A bearded orc with more scars than teeth.

Elf girl who could probably bench-press me and the horse.

Wizard? Or homeless guy with a stick? Hard to tell.

I normally don't put people down but I can see why Fiora thinks she was the weakest link, these guys are hardcore, like really hardcore.

Maybe they pitied her.

Maybe I should stop monologuing.

"Does he always stare into nothing like that?" The beefy elf girl said, waving a massive hand in my face.

“Sorry,” I deadpanned, “I was just trying to process the fact that your voice sounds like a fork being scraped on a plate. Didn’t mean to stare.”

Her jaw tightened. The orc guffawed, spitting half-chewed jerky onto the floor.

“Oi, runt’s got a tongue,” he said, flashing his one singular molar.

“Your dentist must either really love you or really hate you,” I shot back.

The wizard—or possibly just a homeless stick enthusiast—snorted. “Cheeky rascal. Do you even know what guild you’re walking into? Fiora’s charity case?”

I glanced at Fiora. She’d shrunk into herself, ears drooping, like she’d been through this a hundred times. That’s when it hit me. She wasn’t their “comrade.”

She was their punching bag.

And if there’s one thing I hate more than wasps, it’s watching good people get kicked around for sport.

“Charity case?” I repeated, stepping forward. “That’s funny, since Fiora’s the only one here who looks like she bathes more than once a lunar cycle—and the only one actually making ludicrous amounts of bank for this so-called party. If she’s the weak link, what does that make you? Dead weight with attendance?”

That shut them up. For a fraction of a second, at least.

A booming laugh echoed through the hall.

Master Bachmann, the guild’s mountain-sized overseer, slammed his meaty palms onto the counter hard enough to rattle the mugs.

“Well, well, we’ve got ourselves a firebrand!” Bachmann roared. “Love it. But words don’t win glory, boy. You want to defend the lass’s honor? Put your coin where your gob is!”

Gross.

“What are you suggesting?” I asked, though I already didn’t like the sound of it.

“The Gargantua,” Bachmann said, eyes glinting with sadism. “First party to slay the beast earns bragging rights, and a lifetime of free booze at this guild. Losers get nothing but shame. Think you’ve got the stones for that?”

The room erupted in cheers, jeers, and drunken chants.

My stomach dropped.

Gargantua.

That sounded like a final boss.

Only I was still kind of technically in the tutorial zone of this world.

But damned if I was going to back down now.

“Yeah, sure,” I said, forcing a grin. “Why not? Gargantua, party duel, loser buys the first round. Sounds fun.”

Inside, I was screaming.

The whole guild hall was invested now.

When I say whole, I mean whole.

Everyone wanted to tag along, every party in the area, even Bachmann.

Takumi you stupid, idiotic, imbecilic moron!

I could practically hear the boss music with every step we collectively took.

We trekked for about thirty minutes before arriving at some open field of rocks, stones and other... rocks.

There's only so many words to describe a large-ass plateau.

Supposedly this was the Gargantua's domain.

Throughout those 30 minutes of inching our way there, Fiora spent nearly all of them trying to coax me out of fighting this thing.

It got so bad that as soon as we arrived, I had to grab her by the shoulders mid-stride and shake her.

“You can’t talk me into backing out. Not on this.”

“This isn’t up for debate. You could die. This is serious. You don't have to do this for me."

And while she said it like she meant it, I rebutted with another statement of my own.

"I'm doing this so your party doesn't treat you like absolute crap. instead of punching you up they just have you around as passive income. I wanna be the one to shut 'em up. Whether I live or not."

"Takumi," she whispered, taking my hands in hers. "If you do this and die I will never forgive myself."

Her voice was raw, and cracked near the end.

"Don't say that. I'm doing this because it's gotta be done."

Her ears twitched. She shook her head hard enough that her hair whipped around.

“You don’t understand,” she murmured, quietly.

I almost didn't hear her.

“Since you came here… you’ve made me laugh more than my party has in years. You don’t treat me like a burden. You… you feel like the first person who’s actually seen me. I like that about you.”

Woah.

For a second the Gargantua didn't matter, nor did the impatient crowd jeering at me from behind.

Fiora’s cheeks flushed. She realized what she’d just admitted, and her grip on my hands faltered.

“Forget it,” she stammered. “I’m being foolish.”

I squeezed back before she could pull away. “Not foolish. Just… late timing."

The earth shook.

A massive spider, easily 20 meters tall, emerged from its hiding spot with a deep hiss.

The ground trembled and bits of large rock began falling everywhere.

Its huge legs thrashed against the air and sent dust and debris flying up.

Bachmann and the crowd cheered with excitement.

Fiora's party collectively went white and looked at me, wide eyed.

All of a sudden the Gargantua was in front of us, looming over us ominously with its enormous fangs bared.

"Well?" I asked. Trying hard not to look like I was about to pass out.

"Ok kid, you win, this was all just a big stupid misunderstanding, we're sorry." The wizard backed off, raising his hands up.

"I yield." Said the beefed up elf girl, who literally deflated in real time at the sight of the spider.

"Me also not fighting." The orc grunted sheepishly.

They all scurried off back to the crowd.

I took a breath and called out to them.

"I didn't come here all this way for you three to wuss out, if you don't wanna take a crack at it fine, I'll just have to—"

The Gargantua proceeded to rip me off the ground with one of its tree trunk sized legs.

The hairs were sticky and wouldn't let go of me.

"Unleg me you web-slinging, eight-legged-nightmare, discount-Aragog, silk-spewing freak!"

I heard the crowd, now several hundred meters away, cheer from behind me.

"Oh god I can't watch!" Fiora shrieked.

Ok quick thinking time.

1. This sword Fiora gifted me has some buffs and enchantments.

2. My tracksuit doesn't have any armour buffs just an invisibility cloak, didn't seem to work in this case but such is life.

3. I have to make a few choice cuts and find this... thing's weak spot.

4. Once I do, I should be able to overpower it.

Or kill it.

Whatever works.

Who am I kidding?

I don't have a plan.

I raised my sword, and hit a lucky strike, cleanly through the leg, trying to stabilize myself as I raced up the arm.

The leg twisted, and I stumbled sideways, losing my balance on top of it.

I had to use all my strength to hold myself up. It flung me towards a rock face but somehow I used that momentum against the Gargantua and leapt straight onto the thing's abdomen, where all the silk comes from.

I gave up on using strategy and kept swinging. Not skillfully. Not bravely. Just… violently flailing and screaming. Somehow, by pure dumb luck, one of my wild swings sank deep into its side.

Greenish purple blood sprayed everywhere.

The Gargantua shrieked, staggering.

I nearly fell off of it until I stabbed it from underneath where its head was. holding on to my sword hilt for dear life.

I had done it.

I think?

It let out a final hiss.

The crowd was going wild.

Did I do it?

I think I did?

Suddenly the spider's legs gave out and buckled in taking me down with it.

I heard the crowd let out an "Ohhhh!"

I heard Fiora scream somewhere in there.