Remembrances of Nothing

After about half an hour, the household doctor, Dr. Kratz, finished his checkup on Lawrence.

He wrapped his stethoscope around his neck and swiveled around on his chair to face his patient. There was a telltale sign of confusion on his face.

“Oddly enough, there doesn’t seem to be anything physically wrong with you.” He frowned, stumped by his analysis.

While listening the the doctor prattle on about his examination that Lawrence was uninterested in, he looked over at the calendar hanging on the wall, which indicated that today was UCY 665, May 5.

Even the calendar is the same, aside from the year name…

“I can only assume the amnesia is due to smoke inhalation from the fire, which could have caused slight brain damage. Who knows how much inhaled, but quite frankly, it’s a miracle you’re still up and moving.” Dr. Kratz surmised.

Lawrence nodded his head solemnly, playing along with the act.

“I’ll schedule an appointment with my friend, Derrick Lyndale, who is a specialist in anatomy, tomorrow. He’ll be able to see if there truly is any damage.” Dr. Kratz said, finishing writing his notes as he stood up.

He let Lawrence go as he wandered the halls of the mansion. The walls were cream-colored, adorned with large paintings of his father and, supposedly, relatives or predecessors. As he ascended the large, curved stairwell, an unfamiliar feeling drew him toward the second floor. The feeling lured him to a particular door.

He gripped the doorknob and opened it, revealing a large bedroom with several rows of bookshelves. On the other side was a neatly made bed the size of two kings with white sheets and pillows.

Slowly stepping inside, he looked around more. He saw a white wooden desk with pictures of his family on it. One in particular was different. It was a picture of him and a girl he hadn’t recognized.

She had black hair and amethyst-colored eyes. They wore similar black-and-brown uniforms, most likely from school. Her smile shone brightly in the photo, and Lawrence could sense her energy radiating through it, almost like his mother in the picture he’d previously held. Meanwhile, he stood there plain as dirt, aside from the minuscule noble comportment he gave off.

Another picture was of him and the first maid, except he was way younger, maybe when he was eight. She knelt, wrapped her arms around him from behind, rested her chin on his head, and smiled.

Looking back at the bookshelves, stacked with maybe hundreds of books, he was ecstatic. From the memory fragments alone, he could now see how Lawrence was so knowledgeable with his own eyes.

Staring out of the large window, the last of the sun’s light disappeared, and the night took over. He saw the faint shine of stars as the lights of the capital glowed in the distance.

“I’m surprised you could find your room.”

Startled, Lawrence quickly turned to see the first maid standing in the middle of the room. He didn’t even hear her enter.

“You used to be in here and the library all the time, every day when you weren’t helping your father and mother.” She reminisced solemnly, sitting at the edge of the bed and looking around the room.

He awkwardly stood because he didn’t have those memories.

“Because of your amnesia, I’m sure you don’t remember me, but I am Aria Conway, head maid of the Blackwood Household. Currently, I’ve been manning the operations of this house alongside the head butler.”

“That’s amazing. I’m sure your plate has been full since I’ve been gone.” Lawrence let out a wry smile.

The head maid let out a drained sigh. “I’ll admit that I have been sleeping less as of late, but it’s not because of the increased workload.”

There was a brief pause before she opened her mouth to continue.

“I’m so grateful, you’re alive, Master Lawrence. I wish I could say the same for your mother and sister, but your survival is a blessing from the Goddess nevertheless.”

Everyone seems to be more devout to the divine in this world. Even moreso than the Old World, but are the divine even real if tragedies like…His thought trailed off as he recounted the abominable sights he encountered on his return to Exugia.

He shook off the feeling of dread creeping upon him and sat beside Aria. “Maybe talking about the past could help me recover my memory.”

“Perhaps. Alright then.” She looked up at the ceiling briefly, wondering what she could discuss. “It amazes me that I cared for you for your entire life, Lawrence…”

He tried to hide his shock. “Is that so?”

Aria seemed so young. She had to have cared for him shortly after becoming an adult.

“Yes, I was just a teenager when my family, but specifically my mother, ordered me to become a maid for the Blackwood Family.” She stopped for a few seconds and exhaled softly.

“Because I was young, I was full of life and wanted to explore and do many things. In my eyes, becoming a maid was the equivalent of slavery. I saw it as my family's debt to the nobles. I mean, why else would we pledge our future generations to caretaking?”

Lawrence listened attentively. His expression became soft as she recounted her younger days.

“At first, I hated it, even though I was one of the best maids in training, I hated it. Our family only attained nobility status through generations of caretaking. It seemed like we were leeching off of our clients.”

She clasped her hands together and interlaced her fingers tightly. Lawrence noticed her chewing her lip apprehensively.

“Once I was a fully-fledged maid, I’d joined the Blackwood Family. However, my beliefs hadn’t changed. Frankly, I cursed the Goddess once or twice for this appalling profession.” She giggled softly before her face turned dark.

“It was nerve-racking working with your father, who was the Paladin before he passed. Your mother worked me to the bone, but on top of that, I had to care for you and your twin sister.”

I honestly feel bad for her. Even now, she was forced to throw away her aspirations. What a shitty world this is, but…I know that the same things happen and have happened in the Old World. I suppose it’s just societal human nature…

“You two almost made me go insane a few times.” Aria let out a dry laugh. “But the both of you were angels. Over time, I came to care for you guys as if you were my children. Because there was something different about the two of you.”

“Something different…?” He furrowed his eyebrow in response, hoping she would elaborate.

She slowly nodded her head, a genial smile appearing. “The Blackwoods had a certain darkness within them, but you were without that. You were genuine, carefree, and most of all, determined and never gave up in the face of setbacks.”

He cocked his head to the side.

“Well…I should not talk badly about the deceased. Still, every member of the Blackwoods and the extended family seemed to have some malicious secret they kept hidden, especially your oldest uncle.”

Secret, huh…? I’m curious now. Lawrence thought inwardly. He pursed his lips and paused for a second. “What do you think it could be?”

“I’m not sure. The best chance you’d have to find what you’re looking for is in the basement of this place. However, your father had long hidden the key.”

“I see, thank you, Aria.” He set his hand on hers and gave her a gentle grin.

“Of course. Will you sleep now? I’m sure you’re exhausted. I suggest eating something since you’ve been gone for three days.”

Had I been gone for that long? Bernard didn’t tell me that…but I don’t feel hungry.

“I’ll be sure to eat a big breakfast first thing tomorrow.”

She nodded, satisfied with his answer, and left the room after saying farewell.

After the door closed shut, Lawrence attempted to stand up, but a wave of exhaustion hit him, forcing him back onto the bed. “Body must hate me, haha…”

Sighing slightly, he scooched over to the other side of the bed and slid his kukri under the pillow. Tossing his tattered shirt to the side and getting under the covers, he rested his head against the soft, fluffy pillow and stared at the ceiling. He then turned his head towards the window, veiled by a thin white curtain.

The faint glow of street lamps and building lights dimly illuminated the streets. It was a sight divergent from the unfiltered chaos that persisted no matter the time of day beyond the stone walls.

“There’s no way this was a dream. All of this was too surreal. Something caused my transmigration…that Inverted Spire Bernard spoke of, speaking with the supposed “gods” of this world, I’m not so sure I can hop on the idea of the divine just yet.”

A side of him wished it was all a bad dream and that Kana had murdered him, never to be found. Despite their differences, even as friends, he couldn’t believe there was a side of her he didn’t know.

“I wish I could go back and ask her why…no use thinking about it now.”