Loss of Hope

“Arno, where are you going?” His little sister asked, cupping her face with her hands at the dining table while swinging her legs.

Her brother wore a long, brown leather coat and a red, wavy-patterned scarf, carrying a brown bag and a black, sheathed katana.

“I’m heading out to run some errands. I’ll be back before the sun sets, Alice.”

“Mmm…” She groaned wistfully.

“If you’re good, I’ll bring back something sweet for you.”

“Really?!” Her eyes lit up, glistening under the wall lamp.

“Yes, now I’ll be back, okay?”

She nodded her head rapidly as he waved farewell, closing and locking the door before stepping onto the street. He softly whistled as he clutched his bag tightly.

Navigating his way through Almgrave Street in the Argar District, he checked his watch, noting it was 8:51 Day Standard. He waved at some familiar faces at the vendor stands as he made his way through the crowds on the sidewalk.

On his days off from school, he checked the daily paper before grabbing a snack for later after training.

Approaching the newspaper stand, the ash-colored-haired boy noticed a large crowd surrounding it, clamoring indistinctly.

What’s going on? Joining the crowd, he tried to squeeze between them, but it was pointless.

“Ah, Arno, take a look at this!” An older man wearing a gray wool jacket noticed his presence and handed him today’s copy.

Arno skimmed through the front page. The main article drew his eyes towards the middle of the page as he began reading it. “By Assiah, a miracle! Sightings of the last member of the Blackwood Family, Lawrence, have been found alive!”

Last member…I hope Lucy is in a better place now. The young mage thought of his late rival.

“I hear reporters have already swarmed Blackwood Mansion.” The older man revealed this, his voice filled with disbelief.

Hmm…Arno had no interest in the survivor of the wealthiest family in Exalta, let alone someone who couldn’t use magic. That magicless son is better off running the company that his father left for him. Why is he even in the Imperial Academy in the first place?

Setting the newspaper aside, he walked away, saying goodbye to the man, and headed towards the main gate of the Capital.

----

Lawrence groggily opened his eyes to the white ceiling of his new home. Sighing deeply, he turned toward the window to see that the sun was fully out. He could barely hear the muffled sounds of birds chirping and the indistinct conversations of the housekeepers.

Loudly yawning to the point that it would be unbecoming of a noble, he stretched his arms, which had felt more sluggish than ever before. Looking down, Oscar woke up soon after and stretched for a few seconds before pouncing on Lawrence and nuzzling his chest.

“Well, you’re an affectionate one, aren’t you?” He asked, knowing the cat didn’t speak New Lavonian.

Petting Oscar made Lawrence ruminate about how much more lively his previous isolated life would have been if he had owned a pet. However, he didn't think he was responsible enough to take care of one, let alone in a toxic household with his mother.

Pulling the covers to the side, he got up and walked toward the giant mirror attached to a dresser on the opposite side of the room, this time to examine himself thoroughly.

Lawrence and Kaede shared the same physical build, although Lawrence was more physically fit than the latter. They were also similar in height, but that’s about as far as their resemblances go.

He opened the drawers and found an assortment of expensive, tailored clothes neatly folded in each. It was most likely Corinne's doing. Taking out a white dress shirt and black pants, he put them on to replace his old clothes and tossed them aside for now. Then, he grabbed a dark red tie and popped the collar of his shirt, wrapping the tie around.

Crap, what am I even doing? I don’t know how to tie a tie!

Fumbling with the big and skinny ends, Lawrence made a crude attempt to create a knot, resulting in it looking like an unkempt bundle of hay. Sighing, he tried his best to make it look as normal as possible, but it was to no avail.

He rushed to the closet and slid open the giant door to a long row of colored jackets. He picked one that matched the same shade of black as his pants and grabbed dress shoes using the same logic. Aside from the tie, he looked vastly different from the tattered clothes he had on his back.

~

“Come on! Hurry up! We have to be there to meet everyone! We absolutely cannot be late!” His mother yelled from the first floor.

“Tch.” Kaede tried to tie this black tie, but decided that what he had was good enough.

Quickly running down the stairs, he glanced at his mother, who was wearing a dark dress and holding a purse.

“Are you serious? Are you trying to make me look stupid in front of my friends??” She said, enraged, slapping him across the face.

He was more or less expecting this, so he kept quiet, barely making eye contact with her. However, he did want to cry a bit, not because of the words, but because of the stinging sensation from the slap.

She undid his awful tie and redid it herself while mumbling things. “You spend so much damn time in that library, you would think you’d be able to do this.”

“You need to go outside more because rumors of me neglecting you are coming to light. Do I neglect you?!”

“No…” he responded, almost in a whisper.

~

Lawrence sighed and redid the tie, trying to recall how from memory, but it was still useless. If he buttoned up the jacket, no one would notice.

Remembering something important, he did a one-eighty and opened the middle drawer of his desk to see the now-worn journal he had seen in his memories. When he picked it up, he opened it to see some familiar notes and entries mixed with dozens of new ones. Flipping to the latest page, he saw a note that made his eyes widen as he read the first line.

“To whoever inhabits my body.”

“Lawrence knew he was going to die?” He continued reading the page, intrigued by what his predecessor left behind.

“I’m sure by now you’ve uncovered my secret, or rather, the family’s biggest secret.” The only thing that came to mind was the Curse of Black Thorns, and based on what he wrote later, Kaede’s assumption was correct.

“As you become more familiar with magic, know that curses work differently. Even if the caster dies, the Curse remains, and no known magic or remedy can remove it. I’ve spent my entire life researching ways to get rid of it with no luck.” Hearing his findings was a little discouraging to Kaede.

“Is there no hope for me, either? Then again, I was able to use magic, even just a little.”

“There’s almost no information about the curse, and since the demon who cast it is long dead, supposedly, it seems there may be no solution.”

Lawrence’s writing tone sounded despairing and frustrated. The letters were a bit darker and thicker, which most likely meant he was pressing down harder on the page with his pen.

“There’s only one hope, and that the soul bounds the Curse. So, if you can use magic, thank Assiah. But if not, then it means it’s bound to your body, and that’s the hard part.”

Lawrence flipped to the next page and noticed a space dividing it into two numbered sections. “The most I managed was a few pitiful attempts at casting magic, but the potential is there. That means the Curse is a limiter rather than a complete erasure.”

He carefully read the first numbered paragraph, briefly pausing as Oscar leaped onto the desk and gently played with the globe of Tellus.

“If my theory is correct, the only plausible solution would be to ascend the Divine Tower and speak with the Principles. Still, unfortunately, even without basic enhancement magic, it’ll prove to be difficult unless I manage to convince the Paladin to help me, haha….”

Lawrence’s eyes wandered to the next section as he examined it thoroughly, tapping his index finger repeatedly against the edge of the desk.

“The second option is to be granted an audience with the Great Sage, leader of the Echen, who oversees the Agarian Church. However, this is also a difficult task as only the Holy Knights are allowed to speak to the Echen. As the saying goes, if something is as unknown as the Echen, you’re never going to find it.”

After skimming the following paragraph, he noticed the writing’s tone shift to a bit of defeat. “It’s incredible how the family has no information on the Curse. But if it did…”

Lawrence looked to the next page to see what it would say. “...it would be in the basement, my father’s secret and the darkness he never let me see. It’s the only thing I can think of. For some reason, he’s kept its contents hidden from me…”

The entry ended there as Lawrence closed the journal and soaked in the information. The basement…Aria mentioned it as well.

He hadn’t explored much of the mansion, but based on the memories that returned, he knew its location. It was past the kitchen, but a sturdy locked door barred entry.

There wasn’t much he could do since Lawrence didn’t mention the location of the key, and his memories didn’t reveal anything either, so it was something he decided to set aside for later.

Setting the diary down, he did another quick inspection of himself. He left the room and walked down the winding stairs towards the foyer.

To his surprise, Bernard was sitting in a white leather chair against the wall, getting up quickly when he noticed Lawrence heading down.

“You’re still here?”

“You sound disappointed.”

Lawrence noticed a sly grin creep onto Bernard’s face, giving away that he was joking. “No, of course not. I figured you would’ve left after dropping me off. I was about to look for you to thank you.”

The gentle giant gave a big hug to the Blackwood son with a jolly smile as he rested his hand on Lawrence’s shoulder. “Let’s say I’ve felt a…sort of responsibility for you.”

“Responsibility?” Lawrence’s head tilted a bit, confused by what he meant.

“Yes, as a proud knight, I felt as if someone as young as you and still so full of life, without the presence of your parents, might need some guidance. If you’ll have me, of course.”

“Sure, I could use a companion right now.”

“Great! Aria wanted me to escort you to Dr. Kratz’s friend at the Exaltan Institute of Medicine.”

Lawrence nodded, getting ready to head out, when Bernard stopped him.

It seems the head maid had planned for this…

“But first, we have to fix this.” He pointed at the abominable attempt at a tie around Lawrence’s neck.

“Ahaha…you’re right,” Lawrence replied awkwardly, a cold bead of sweat beginning to form.

The knight stepped closer and undid the tie, starting from the beginning. Lawrence tried to commit what he saw to memory to avoid being in the same awkward situation.

“It only makes sense that you wouldn’t remember how to do it, amnesia and all. Let’s hope it’s not long-term.”

Oh, if only he knew…

Bernard finished, and the tie looked better than anything Lawrence could have possibly hoped to do.

“Thank you…”

The dignified, gallant said nothing but patted Lawrence’s back a few times before pushing him slightly as they walked outside the mansion together.

I don’t know what to make of him, but I will admit, it’s nice having him around.

As they entered the front yard, the housekeepers and gardeners turned and bowed slightly when they noticed Lawrence’s presence. He saw that Corinne was amongst them as she quickly approached.

“It’s good to see you so lively in the morning, Master Lawrence.” She spoke with a relieved contentment, even more cheerful than she was the previous night.

“It’s good to be alive.”

“Might I ask where you’re going?”

Bernard looked back briefly before returning his gaze forward. “I’m escorting Lawrence to the Institute for a thorough checkup, just to make sure he’s alright.”

Others greeted Lawrence solemnly before returning to work. Being the center of attention was strange for him, a drastic change from his previous life, where he had been nearly invisible.

The ability to be mundane and blend in with others was an underrated solace, almost a privilege for those who sought isolation as a form of peace. But here, it felt like I was on a pedestal, being seen by everyone.

“Uh, wouldn’t it be better for James to take you in the carriage?” Corinne suggested, confused by their choice of transportation, or lack thereof.

Lawrence agreed, even though he didn’t know who James was, it was the better choice. He was surprised that Bernard didn’t suggest it first.

“It’s a nice day, and I think Lawrence would appreciate the fresh air.”

Bernard explained, inhaling deploy through his nose before slowly exhaling.

His new underling did the same, taking in the cool air mixed with the city's smells, both good and bad. The smell of sewage and old trash soon overtook the fragrant aromas of the surrounding flowers, forcing Lawrence to stop.

“I see, then I won’t keep you two.” Corinne stopped in her tracks, bowing her head a bit, before leaving to tend to her everyday tasks.

“I’ll be back soon, Corinne.”

They waved goodbye as they made their way towards the front gate. As they arrived, the pair saw a crowd of people with hand-held cameras and papers surrounding the outside.

“What is this?” Lawrence was a bit anxious about being stared at by so many people at once.

The humble knight shrugged his shoulders as he moved in front.

“He’s here!” One person shouted, pen and notepad in hand.

His words riled up the rest of the crowd, who expressed their excitement, simultaneously bombarding Lawrence with dozens of questions. But their instinct clamoring made it challenging to discern what they were saying.

Reporters, of course.

The shuttering of their cameras almost sounded like the fluttering of a hummingbird’s wings.

I’m sure these people expect me to respond to questions I don’t have the answers to.

Even if he understood that they were doing their job, it didn’t help him figure out how to escape. He was never good in crowds, much less when the spotlight was on him.

Sucking it up, he attempted to speak, but Bernard took action first. “Mr. Blackwood is on his way to the hospital for a medical checkup, so it would be greatly appreciated if you could respect his privacy for the time being.”

Reluctantly, the reporters calmed down as they nodded and stepped out of the way to let the pair pass through the gate.

Bernard looked over and winked at Lawrence as he slid open the gate. “Well, shall we?”

As they swiftly walked past the crowd, Lawrence could feel the stares of those around them. He could almost read their thoughts, curiosity, and slight annoyance because they couldn’t get a statement from him.

Once they were a reasonable distance away, he got closer to Bernard as they continued to walk down the street. “Thanks again, I didn’t know what I would do.”

“I had a feeling, but not to worry, persuading people is my specialty.”

Most of the people they walked past stared at Lawrence as if he were a ghost. Technically, he was.

Although he didn’t get to appreciate the Capital yesterday fully, he did now, and it was beautiful—something that only a fantasy book could describe.

Nothing in the old world even comes close to matching this. Not every day can someone see streets made of carefully placed bricks and exquisitely designed lamp posts.

As they continued to navigate through the streets, they stopped at the intersection on Rocfor Lane and Finnicker Way.

Shortly after, they heard someone quickly approaching as a female voice called out from behind.

“Lawrence?”