A wish of rebirth.

“Argh, come on!”

Reyna called out in disappointment as the words ‘game over’ appeared on her computer screen, causing her to smack her desk in frustration. She groaned at her loss and mumbled under her breath, pushing off the carpet and sliding her gamer chair away, crushing several loose drink cans on the floor as it went.

“Stupid dragon! If only it wasn’t so dark, I could have attacked it properly!”

The disgruntled teen sighed and threw her back against her chair, allowing its cushiness to swallow her up. She stayed there, unmoving, blanking out her thoughts as her anger turned to apathy, and she lost all motivation to do anything; something that was easy to do in a room such as hers. The blinds were closed, shutting out all light from the outside world. It was a small space, only containing her desk, a single bed with sheets hanging off the side, various game consoles in a mess of wires on the floor, and a small wardrobe with a pile of clothes thrown right outside its doors. Overall, it was the perfect little nest to hide away and do nothing within.

Reyna didn’t know how long she was laying there for; it could have been a couple minutes, or dozens, but she didn’t care, at least not until a buzzing sound broke her out of her trance. She jumped up, eyes wide as she scanned the room for the source of the noise, eventually eyeing her mobile phone, shaking on top of the desk. She slunk back in her chair and wheeled it over, grabbing the device and flinching as the light of the screen glared at her face. After taking some time to adjust, she saw a singular text message appear from a contact on her phone.

“Hey, we’re on our way. She’s super excited to see you!”

Reyna leapt up out of her chair upon realising who it was; her sister’s carer, currently on route to her apartment.

“Shoot, I forgot they were coming today!”

Reyna leapt out of her chair with more energy than she’d felt all day. She rushed to get her room in as presentable a state as possible, picking up the cans and throwing them in a small bin next to her desk, shoving her pile of clothes into the wardrobe so they couldn’t be seen, throwing her covers back over the bed, and pulling the blinds on her window open so light could get in. She continued like that for a while, picking up various bits of rubbish and rearranging things she thought were messy, including picking up several brown strands of her own hair from the carpet; she did hate having hair as long as her back, it always got in the way of things, but she couldn’t be bothered to go out and get it cut.

In her rush to clean, she found herself often having to go back several times to spots she thought she’d done, finding things she’d missed the first couple of times, also stopping in the middle of the process to change out of the pyjamas she was wearing, whilst she remembered. In the end she was wiping the dust off her windowsill when a knock came from her door. Her spine tingled as she froze in place, and her heart practically jumped out of her body.

She quickly shoved the cloth she was holding into her trouser pockets, doing her best to brush herself off before walking over to the door, swallowing down her nerves, and turning the handle slowly.

“Reyna!”

She’d only opened the door a little way before a high-pitched voice bombarded her ears. A small girl with brown hair and an ecstatic expression jumped straight at her, pushing Reyna straight down. Reyna giggled as she landed back-first on the floor, holding the girl, her little sister, gently, and looking up at her warmly.

“Haha, glad to see you, too, Emily! Are you doing okay?”

“Yep! I’ve been looking forward to this all week!”

Although she was small, Emily smiled with a grin so wide and eyes so gleaming that it melted Reyna’s heart just to look at her. Her gaze soon drifted to the side though as a mature woman stepped next to them, hands pressed on her hips as she hung over.

“Come on, let her breathe.”

“Oh, sorry!”

As her sister let her free, Reyna stood up quickly, stiffening her voice in an effort to speak to the woman in front of her more seriously.

“H-hello, Susanne! Glad to see you made it here safely.”

It was her sister’s caretaker, someone who she held a great amount of respect for, and revered more than anyone. Even as the woman smiled, she still kept that aura of maturity around her.

“Lovely to see you. I trust you’ve been well. How’s the job search been going?”

Reyna turned her eyes to the side, looking sheepishly at her laptop before quickly turning back.

“It’s, uh, still ongoing!”

Susanne narrowed her eyes, scanning the room for any discrepancies. Despite Reyna’s efforts on a last-minute clean, some trash under her bed, stains on the computer, and dust on various areas practically screamed ‘shut-in’ to the carer’s eyes.

“I see …”

She smiled plainly as she walked further into the room, making it impossible to tell what she really thought. In contrast, Emily tugged at her sister's shirt, making it very clear what she wanted.

“Come on, let’s play something!”

Before Reyna could say anything, she found herself dragged over to her mess of games consoles. She hastily untangled one and plugged it in to play, her sister happily sitting on the floor next to her as they grabbed a pair of controllers. That ended up being where they were for the next couple hours; the two sisters playing games whilst the older woman watched.

After a while, Reyna felt a tap on her shoulder, looking up to see Susanne gesturing with her hand to come with her. As soon as she stood up though, Emily noticed, unafraid to chime in.

“Hey, where are you going?”

Reyna was unsure of what excuse to make, but Susanne chimed in immediately with an assured smile.

“Oh, I just need to speak to Reyna quickly, don’t worry, we won’t be a minute.”

“Okay, fine …”

The girl plopped with a grump back down on the ground as Reyna and Susanne moved to the balcony outside. Closing the door behind them, Susanne spoke plainly.

“You haven’t been looking for work, have you?”

Reyna looked down as she twiddled her thumbs, slightly with embarrassment, but largely with disappointment towards herself.

“No …”

Susanne saw her hang her head, realising how she felt, and put her hand against the girl’s back, speaking as softly as possible.

“Listen, I was the same when I lost my mother too; I lived off of nothing but quick-ready noodles for months with my only company being the cockroaches in my room. Your motivation is shattered; you have a hard enough time pushing yourself to get out of bed in the morning, let alone go out into the world. I get it.”

“It’s hard; it’s really, really hard.”

“I know, but don’t beat yourself up for everything; it takes time. Emily doesn’t show it, but she’s struggling just as much. You’re the one bright spot in her life right now.”

Reyna felt like it was the opposite; if it wasn’t for Emily, she would have given up entirely. She was the sole reason she felt anything close to happiness anymore.

“I want to be better for her; I want to do better.”

“And you will, but it’s okay if that takes time. That pain of loss will never go away, but neither will the love your mum had for both of you. It may be weeks, or even months, but eventually, you’ll stop hating yourself even if it’s just for her sake, and try again to live the life she cherished so much. Whenever you’re ready, as long as it takes, I’ll support you.”

Reyna could feel herself begin to cry, smiling through her tears and struggling to properly respond to the kindness she was being shown.

“Thank you ...”

After both of them had settled down, they returned to Reyna’s room. Susanne didn’t mention any more responsibilities from there, simply letting the two girls enjoy their time together. Once the sky turned orange, however, Emily and Susanne stood at the door.

“Bye, Reyna! See you next week!”

Emily squeezed Reyna in a tight hug, holding on as long as she could before letting go, looking up at her older sister who gave her a big smile in return.

“Yeah, see you.”

With that, Emily and Susanne left the room with a wave, closing the door behind them, and leaving Reyna alone. She stood there for a moment, silent, as was everything around her, and sighed.

She tried to go back to playing games on her computer, but something about herself just wasn’t in the mood anymore. It wasn’t long before she found herself back in her pyjamas, rolled up in bed. She laid there, thinking, then quietly spoke to herself.

“I really want to do more. Ugh, I wish I could just magically reinvent myself; make a better ‘me’. I would do that in a heartbeat.”

She wrapped herself as tightly within her covers as she could, trying her best to feel its warmth. Shutting her eyes tightly, she promised with all her heart that tomorrow would be the new starting point for her, and slowly went to sleep.