Confession and Waterfall

Finally, after so many hardships and disappointments, I was with my beloved Miwa Senpai. She was in a grade higher than me.

After walking and talking for hours together on the beautiful grassland fields, we finally sat down under a big, beautiful tree.

The pink flowers moved with the wind as if they were dancing. The cool breeze with little leaves was a cherry on top. It was just me and her, alone.

“The flowers are so pretty, right?” she said.
“Not as much as you,” I replied.

Her little laugh was enough to make my heart blow apart.

I knew it was the time.

“I want to say something to you, Senpai.”
“What is it, Cid-kun?” she replied in a bashful tone.

I closed my eyes and collected all the courage I had in me.

“I…”

I took a deep breath.

“Like…”

I slowly opened my eyes, ready to see her live reaction.
“You…”

I finally said it. After two years of liking her, my body felt relieved, as if I had just passed a test I had no idea I could even pass.

Now, I was just waiting for her answer. Those few seconds felt like an hour.

Her face was all red, and her brown eyes were bigger than ever.

Please say something, Senpai! was all I could think in my mind.

And then she finally replied.

“It’s 8:30…”

“What?” I was confused.

“Wake up, it’s 8:30,” and now I recognized that voice—it was my mom.

My eyes snapped open, and I came back to my real, stupid world.

“Whaaaat!!! 8:30?”

I got out of bed as fast as a man who runs from his friends and family after winning a big lottery.

“Mom, why didn’t you wake me up earlier? My school starts at 8:30!”

“Don’t waste your time any more. Just get ready and leave.”

Even I didn’t know I was that fast. Within eight and a half minutes, I was ready! Brushed, bathed, packed my bag, dressed.

But then the moment of truth hit me when I looked at the clock.

It was 7:05 AM.

This was the third time this month I fell for this new trick of my mom.

I went down as red as a tomato, angry.

“You liar! I hate you!”

“I hate you too. Now come here and eat this.”

I was really angry, but I just sat there all pouty, because her food was way too good to leave.

And while eating my breakfast, I realized today was the day I had decided to confess my true feelings to Miwa Senpai.

I knew I had to. Maybe I already knew what her answer would be, but now I just couldn’t wait anymore. She would graduate and join some prestigious high school in a few months. So I had to take my chance.

I left for school, my palms clammy and my chest tight. I was scared as hell, my heart pounding like never before—but I was not going back.

“Come on, Cid. What’s the worst that could happen? Maybe you’ll die, but at least you’ll die like a man. Yes, I’m a man. I’m not scared at all.”

I was feeling a little relieved after giving myself all that motivation—until I saw Miwa Senpai a few yards ahead of me.

She was there. The girl of my dreams, just a few steps away, on a straight road with no one except us.

I thanked God, my mom, and my destiny for this chance they gave me. I knew this was the greatest opportunity provided to any human being to express his love to the love of his life.

I did not sprint foolishly like a dog after seeing his favorite meal. I just sped up my walking quietly, so she wouldn’t notice me and get creeped out.

Soon I was very near to her—maybe two or three arms’ distance. I was about to call her from behind, but suddenly I realized I might scare her because we hadn’t talked a lot before—just one time, actually, when she asked me about our common friend, and that was when I fell for her.

She was so near to me, but I just could not call her. I couldn’t. I couldn’t get any words out of my mouth.

But then, again, a miracle happened—her handkerchief fell down, and my motivation went up.

“Even God wants me to say it. It’s your chance, Cid. Don’t you dare miss it,” I said loudly in my head.

I picked up her handkerchief as fast as if it were the last pizza slice on this planet and finally said it:
“Miwaaa Senpaiiii!”

She was shocked and surprised. The moment she turned around, I saw those eyes—my soul nearly exploded.

“Oh, it’s you. What do you want?”

Now I was even more scared. There wasn’t even an inch of happiness or shyness on her face—just pure disappointment. Exactly the same as how my mom looks after seeing my results.

“Ummm… I…”
“You know…”

“What?” she replied, annoyedly.

I froze. I had no courage, no words. I just wanted to run away, but I couldn’t—that would be rude. Then it hit me.

“Your handkerchief. Yes, it fell down. I wanted to give it to you.”

She looked at the handkerchief and took a moment to analyze it. After confirming it was hers, she snatched it, turned around, and quickly started walking back toward the school.

Not even a thank you. My heart shattered. Even before confessing to her, everything turned so silent that I could feel my own heartbeat. My legs were trembling, and I was hearing the ‘tuuuuuuuuu’ sound in my head.

Did I just get rejected?!
This was the first thing I thought. Slowly, the nearby noises returned to me again. I automatically took a deep breath because I realized I hadn’t been breathing since I called her.

I just stood there watching her go. So I guess this is it, I said to myself. “Of course. Why would she go out with me? I’m not as pretty as her, and I’m even shorter than her.”

I was trying to comfort and heal my broken heart, but suddenly I heard my inner voice.

“But you have not told her your true feelings yet—”

That’s right. How can I get rejected even before confessing my true feelings for her? I replied to my inner voice.

“I still haven’t told her how I feel about her,” I shouted. I knew I couldn’t go back without telling her. “Maybe if I don’t say it today, I’ll regret this my entire life.”

Suddenly, I remembered a great line from my Mr. Siddhant Pandey (that’s me):
“You may regret telling someone you love them, but you will regret way more by not telling them you love them.”

I could see her going away, which I couldn’t. I couldn’t understand why she was glowing yellow—as bright as a trophy I never won.

I gathered all the tiny bits of courage I had in me. My breathing and heartbeat were faster than ever before. I knew it was now or never. A do-or-die situation for me.

“Miwa Senpai…”

I shouted. I saw her turning behind, but this time I couldn’t look at her face and get chickened out again. So, I closed my eyes, filled my lungs with as much air as I could, and said as loud as possible:
“Please, go out with me—Miwa Senpaiiii…”

Finally, I said it after two years of holding my feelings back. Everything was silent again, but this time, at least I was satisfied. I was prepared to get rejected, and my eyes were still closed.

I couldn’t understand why, but the temperature near me was suddenly colder than before, and the winds were faster. Then I noticed something strange. It was way too silent, and I could feel that my feet were not on a concrete road anymore—it was as if I was on grassy ground. But I thought it was normal after telling someone your true feelings.

It had already been over a minute, but still, after not getting a response from my one true love, I couldn’t take it anymore. I slowly opened my eyes, and the bright, warm sun rays started entering my retina.

The sun rays were so bright and glowing like I had never seen before. In the beginning, I couldn’t see anything clearly because of the blurriness, but after regaining some of my vision, I noticed something—Miwa Senpai was not there. I already knew her answer, so it didn’t hurt like the last time. I accepted my fate and turned around, but then I saw something that shook my soul. There was a big waterfall ahead of me.

My city doesn’t have such a big waterfall! I turned around again and noticed bigger trees than I had ever seen in my life surrounding me.
The grass was greener than watercolor green, and the water was so clean I could see the scales of the fish swimming inside.

“What the fuckkkkkk!!”

This was the first time I cursed in my life.